What communication between dates an FDS lady would expect ?

miss_peach94 · 2021-10-08T09:51:13+00:00

It's still very early days... I would talk to and date other people until he asks to be exclusive. Don't stand around waiting for him to pop that question either. Do not put all your eggs in 1 basket. Go about your life. It's likely you're not the only person this guy is seeing especially if he doesn't even send a check in or 'hello' for days on end...

See & talk to other people until he's asked to be exclusive and is regularly communicating. And if some time has passed and he's not investing more time/effort into you then cut him loose

*Edit

As for GM and GN texts, I don't pay them too much mind. You know it's real when the conversation is flowing and if there's no end to the conversation for example one of you falls asleep or gets busy at work you pick up the conversation again later during the day. If he doesn't talk to you for more than a day he's likely not that interested or he's still shopping around

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-10-08T09:53:22+00:00

I’d like to hear thoughts from other FDSers too. I think not phoning inbetween dates is a sign of being avoidant attachment. And online dating attracts these guys like bees to the honey especially because they can type at a screen rather than have in person / onphone interactions. I came across this behaviour a lot during online dating. Pre FDS I’d mention to them I’d like phone calls and they would start calling, but later show themselves to be emotionally unavailable in other ways during the relationship which ultimately was a big waste of time. The last few dates who didn’t call me in between dates I ditched early on as it’s like a canary in the mine! Plus how interested in getting to know you can he be? Plus..cynical drumroll..easier to cheat on his girlfriend/wife if he never calls his dates! Proceed with caution 🤞

blessedwiththree · 2021-10-08T12:13:11+00:00

I expect him to be contacting me daily. It shouldn't be incessant phone calls or texts, but it needs to be enough that he's showing continual interest and that he's thinking about me. I expect daily communication in an exclusive relationship and I also expect it during the dating phase. If it's past the first date and he's setting more dates, he should also be maintaining solid communication. If there is no exclusivity, then it's fine to multi-date. A man who is truly interested in you and has a healthy attachment system (and also is not manipulative and is mentally stable), is not going to leave room for another man to step in and in turn lose his chance with you. Keep in mind this is the beginning when you will most likely see the highest effort, is this enough for you?

bearded_dragonlady · 2021-10-08T14:36:12+00:00

If a guy truly has a high level of interest, he will not be silent for a few days in between dates. He will see you as an amazing girl who probably has tons of guys interested, and will not want you to get snatched up by somebody else. Most guys who disappear for days in between dates are actively talking to other women. They may settle for you if his other options don't work out, what you aren't the prize to them.

fuckbeingautobanned · 2021-10-08T09:56:50+00:00

Get some more dates in. Video calling is a way you can still remotely vet/check for compatibility. Like the person before me stated: go on about your life as you usually would. I don't know if you have any hobbies, but they're great for sharing over video chat as well.

Ok-Cow2451 · 2021-10-13T21:56:27+00:00

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months now, and he exhibits many HVM behaviors and green flags as I was following FDS religiously when we first met. When we first started dating, We went out four Saturdays in a row, before each date he texted me the Sunday after asking me out again, and then planned something accordingly, making a reservation based on food or a place I had mentioned I liked on the previous date. I hate texting back and forth with new people (good morning texts give me the ick!). We really only touched base about logistics between dates and that was it, it was great because then we had tons to talk about when we did spend time together.

Now that we are exclusive we have a consistent daily text rhythm. For both of us, our lack of texting, in the beginning, was a breath of fresh air and we both felt it let the relationship grow at a good pace. I made it clear that I was busy, focused, had good boundaries, and that exclusivity would bring about a new level to the relationship. So that's my two cents!

Sage_Planter · 2021-10-08T19:13:02+00:00

In the early days, I'm okay with less communication. What matters to me is clear indication that he's interested and purpose. For example, I don't need to text all day, but the man needs to show initiative and interest by planning dates. A "I had a great time with you tonight" text after a date followed by a "Are you free for dinner on Tuesday or Thursday?" a day or two later is fine. By my standards, it sounds like the guy you're seeing is doing well. If he doesn't start to increase communication gradually, though, then it might be a problem.

tellmesomething11 · 2021-10-09T13:39:36+00:00

In the beginning, I certainly don’t expect communication every single day, but I also don’t think a full week should go by either. When I’m not exclusive with someone, I just keep it light. And I’m def not trying to attach myself to him. Once things start to get more serious, (meaning he has become more active in the relationship)I actually find myself still acting the same…because nothing has changed in my mind.

if a certain amount of time has passed and he hasn’t asked me for exclusivity then I either ghost or end things. I don’t have time for all that.
so…rather than being anxious over a few days that he hasn’t called you, consider that his days may be numbered anyway, because you appear to want a more heavily invested person. While it may not always seem realistic in the beginning, some men are like that. Just make sure it’s coming from a good place and that you aren’t being co dependent .

sassyheather · 2021-10-08T09:59:13+00:00

I personally like my daily communication with boyfriends or guys I exclusively date after some time. Not from the very beginning.

mini_baguette · 2021-10-08T13:44:27+00:00

From my experience, this doesn’t sound good. Has other women he’s juggling for sure.

His texting habits will not change if you’re in a relationship. They never do. I’d say tread with caution for now.

2021-10-08T13:21:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	What communication between dates an FDS lady would expect ?
Author	Healingirl
Upvotes	63
Comments	23
Date	October 8, 2021 9:37 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3ud7s/what_communication_between_dates_an_fds_lady/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-communication-between-dates-an-fds-lady-would.1076744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076744

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