ANYONE who weaponizes your self improvement efforts against you is low value and should be immediately blocked and deleted.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-11-29T17:38:20+00:00

It sounds like she’s mad because your suggestion requires her to take charge of her life and her choices. Hopefully she sees the light sooner rather than later, and realizes choosing to level up is better than suffering with a scrote.

Glass-Trade8008 · 2021-11-29T19:18:39+00:00

I'm glad you made that boundary and kept it. I've noticed that people will put up with things from their female friends, that they would never put up with from a man, because they are giving her the benefit of the doubt. But it is not always deserved

jingks_ · 2021-11-29T18:22:59+00:00

It seems like she was doing fine when she was in a “superior” position (you were vulnerable and going through your divorce and she was your confidant), and now the tides have turned and she’s the one in a vulnerable place. Accepting therapy would mean accepting that things are not as in control as she wants them to be. There’s no excuse for making a nasty comment like that, though. OP, I’m glad you’re able to recognize that it’s very much her, not you. You realized you needed support, got it, and now you’re doing much better. For her unfortunately it’s probably going to be a much longer process.

sleutherino · 2021-11-29T19:02:13+00:00

Bruh. If anything, you have more right to suggest it, because you're familiar with the process. She has no right to throw something like that back in your face when she clearly doesn't have much experience with that type of self improvement.

She was never your friend OP. I'm sorry, it doesn't feel great to have things like this happen, or to lose a friend.

tuberosetears · 2021-11-29T22:22:54+00:00

That "friend" of yours is NOT a friend, and I'm sorry she said that to you.

In the future, you will never regret being a little more guarded with what you entrust people with.

Buttercup5555 · 2021-11-29T22:15:27+00:00

Wow, I am so sorry you went through that. If feels double wrong. Not only is she completely invalidating mental health resources but if she thought you were not doing good mentally (or derrogatory as she put it) why was she unloading so much of her own bullshit on you on top of it. Ugh, no amount of life difficulty can be excuse for that.

machiavella_89 · 2021-11-29T19:59:13+00:00

Even if it wasn't extremely insulting and offensive to invalidate a person's attempts at self-improvement/self-care, how willfully ignorant do you have to be at this point to assume that needing therapy or medication means someone is "crazy" or pathetic? That's on a par with thinking the world is flat. You have to be stupid or deliberately ignoring modern science to believe it.

Platipus6 · 2021-11-29T22:20:01+00:00

Wow that's some shame-dumping. She's not a good friend.

plomerst · 2021-11-29T23:54:46+00:00

I have spent so much time, energy and resources on self improvement for the last 10 years or so. I’m talking everything from getting in top notch shape, delving into meditation, improving my nutrition, volunteering, and reading/learning more about psychology. I cannot tell you how many people feel threatened by my improvement of self. I think I read a quote once that talked about people feeling threatened by your virtue, and that’s some thing that I have found to be true. A lot of people have told me that this was just a phase, mocked my meditation practice, and have said that I am way too hard on myself because I have shown discipline and would not budge by engaging in unhealthy habits. I find that ridiculous especially because I’m not self righteous and I don’t excessively talk about these things or throw it in people’s face. I quietly work on myself but I do make it known that these are the things that I do and are important parts of my life. I find it really sad that so-called love ones want to mock things that I’m doing that are only to help me and others, especially because I have been very vocal about my past struggles with anxiety. It’s ironic that people that are supposedly wanting to see you do well, are unsupportive and cruel when it comes to you taking action to make yourself happier.

inateri · 2021-11-29T17:44:35+00:00

Nobody I know views mental health support with that kind of stigma, more like they know it works (or at least know better than to openly express derision or disbelief) but they still don't go - so vexing

notochord · 2021-11-29T21:56:50+00:00

When I was getting sober, my NVX would tell me he hoped I would “drink a bottle of wine and crash my car into a building” when I was leaving the house to go to my outpatient therapy class. He hated to see me put in the work to recover. So thankful to be two years sober and free of him.

PresentationPlus · 2021-11-30T00:04:11+00:00

Absolutely! Love this post. I’ll never forget when I took up running and proudly told my now ex boyfriend that I could run 3 miles in an hour. I felt so accomplished to do this as a beginner! He coldly said, “yeah, I doubt that.” Disgusting LVM.

radfem_babe · 2021-11-30T03:41:43+00:00

Doesn't sound like a friend. She is probably insecure about her own short comings and not addressing her own problems. When people take something personal you confided in them about and throw it back in your face, its says a lot about their character and nothing good. I hope she sees the light, eventually.

scorchedsouI · 2021-11-30T03:46:59+00:00

Does she generally speak like that? She might lose a few teeth one day.

Title	ANYONE who weaponizes your self improvement efforts against you is low value and should be immediately blocked and deleted.
Author	hurtstobehuman
Upvotes	643
Comments	46
Date	November 29, 2021 5:04 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r50c1o/anyone_who_weaponizes_your_self_improvement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-who-weaponizes-your-self-improvement.1089695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089695

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