A thought experiment

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-03-06T20:09:46+00:00

I'd have very brief, no strings attached flings with the hot and spontaneous ones and long-term relationships with the ones I'm most compatible with.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-07T01:15:29+00:00

i dont understand why im always a loser who cant get commitment from guys im attracted to in these stupid made up scenarios

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-06T22:08:20+00:00

It's not fair to settle if I'm not attracted to him, I can give him love, I can't give him physical intimacy, it's not good for him. And not good for me because I want physical intimacy with the person I'm attracted to. So still I would wait for the ONE that has both, attraction and good heart.

You can separate attraction aspect from compatibility, without it it's just a friend.

Safinated · 2024-03-06T23:18:45+00:00

You could have just said: settle or no?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-06T21:50:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AngeCruelle · 2024-03-06T20:25:35+00:00

This is a weird one for me since I gravitate to devout Christian circles. The men are essentially pre-vetted for commitment, just dating for fun or pleasure or whatever nonsense isn't something we do. It's like I already have the VR goggles and plenty of mature, commitment-minded men are also physically attractive.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-03-06T20:43:01+00:00

I'd likely stay single. Wear them and know that that hot guy isn't my forever home. Understand my romance will always be swift and fleeting. And not get to attached to anyone.

I don't want to date or be with someone I find boring and unattractive. That's not a good relationship. I was someone who is intense like me.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-03-06T21:31:11+00:00

Your commenting history is filled with slander against women you find unattractive or old. Why do you expect us to give grace to men for being unattractive when you clearly don’t give that same grace to women?

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-03-06T20:27:08+00:00

The premise is false. A good husband is one I want to fuck. If you remove sexual attraction from a romantic relationship then I may as well marry one of my female friends, because there'd be no difference between the two.

You can't remove sexual attraction from sexual relationships and call it "good."

GridReXX · 2024-03-06T20:32:15+00:00

There’s such a thing as too much data.

At that point I’d rather know less. That way I can end up in a relationship that’s great at the beginning but eventually all the incompatibilities the glasses would have brought up come to pass. Be annoyed frustrated and angry at all of the fights.

But ultimately at least I can say “we had a good time for a while” lol 😆

mrs_seng · 2024-03-06T23:55:01+00:00

If i'm not attracted to him, that's a friend, not a husband. I'd stay single. I don't want children either so there's no pressure for me to be with anyone. I also have no desire for sex unless i'm in a relationship with someone i'm attracted to and that desire for sex needs to be built up. So no pressure to find someone.

Anyway, weird post because it assumes good looking guys don't offer commitment, which is not true. And it also assumes that ugly-ish guys offer commitment, which is also not true.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-03-06T20:13:49+00:00

This is an interesting post, thanks.

Hm, dunno. It would be very tempting to use the glasses because who wouldn't want to know if the person they're interested in would be a good match. But on the other hand, I'd always wonder if the glasses are actually accurate and if I haven't turned down guys who would have been a great match for me. I'd probably hold off on using the glasses and maybe only use them if I'm having doubts about our relationship. I kind of feel like avoiding every ''wrong'' person would rob me of valuable lessons about myself and relationships that I'd probably need to learn before I decided to settle down.

Not all of my dating experience has been sunshine and lollipops, but even the really shitty ones were something to learn from.

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-06T20:35:00+00:00

I don't feel attraction purely based on appearance and I need quite a lot of time to see whether I'm attracted to this particular person or not. I usually get attracted to people who I can call my friends, as I need emotional connection and the feeling that I can trust them. These glasses could help me out to narrow my sample size, as I cannot realistically be friends with lots and lots of people to see who I'm attracted to. So basically...there's either "hit" - we're compatible and I'm attracted - or there's only miss. If there's no compatibility, there's no attraction however hot, funny or charismatic a person is. I'm in my late 20s and I've met only 3 people who I felt attraction to including my husband.

SamanthaNicola · 2024-03-06T20:54:32+00:00

I doubt it would work. How you think and feel at 18 is very different to 40. I feel a lot of teenagers would just ignore this. Also, you change and grow as time goes on, removing experience for cold analytic data, which would remove lessons and the joys of discovery.

_Bene_Gesserit_Witch · 2024-03-06T21:42:44+00:00

I find it hard to imagine a world where all the good guys are so one dimensional and unnatractive but I will humour your scenario.

I would probably not choose to wear the glasses at 18 because I'm still dumb at this point. I rebel and follow my instincts of emotional addiction, codependency and seeking excitement and instead get emotionally attached to a fuckboy type and get burned by that. That would prove the value of the glasses to me, and that I don't actually know better.

After this would remain single for a while because it's better to be alone than with someone you don't like. Men who needs them amirite?

That is until the desire for children becomes stronger and stronger (for me this started at 25). Then I would start to wear those glasses and choose accordingly, with the experience of getting burned by the incompatible dude to drive up my appreciation and gratitude for the stable guys. I would pick the one I'm most intellectually and physically attracted too, someone I actually click with and like as a person. I then see being much happier and fullfilled in this relationship because children and family is what's important and a good man is priceless for that. I see myself developing more and more attraction and love for him that is much more genuine real and enduring. Thank god for the glasses!

That's how I realistically see an 18yr old me responding to this situation. Sometimes you have to suffer to truly appreciate the value of something, and that's the learning curve of youth.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-06T21:15:55+00:00

Wait, marriage material according to who? Surely not my own view if I'm not into them? Why am I letting my silly glasses tell me who I should like? I've got to take them off and make my own decisions.

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Mentathiel · 2024-03-06T23:01:49+00:00

I want to say I'd probably stay single, but Idk if that's true. It's what I'd like to believe. I wouldn't be with someone I'm not attracted to, I don't think that's fair to them tbh. And I've never been in a relationship I didn't think could work out long-term. But I'm not sure that wouldn't change if I knew for sure that none of them could, maybe I'd rather have short-term casual flings than nothing at all.

Title	A thought experiment
Author	EmbarrassedClient283
Upvotes	2
Comments	82
Date	March 6, 2024 7:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b89gfk/a_thought_experiment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-thought-experiment.1426430 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426430

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