Q4RP: Can Anyone Here Explain /r/MarriedRedPill? Can You Get Married and Be Legitimately "RedPill"?

[deleted] · 2016-03-11T22:32:21+00:00

I have read "don't get married" on that sub many times.

The reason for this advice is that getting married puts a man in a very vulnerable position. Putting it succinctly, the prize isn't worth the gamble. Now what to do if you're already married before you realize this is a great question, which is what MRP attempts to answer.

Sepean · 2016-03-12T00:13:52+00:00

I've seen many RPs who are married, so I find this topic to be interesting. Their situations are often the most unique. One thing that I do notice however, is that married RPs tend to be less extreme than the MGTOW RPs. Most of them just want to fix their dead bedroom, because most of the advice on reddit is extremely women-centric and garbage (Therapy! Communication! Tell her you feel unwanted!). So they turn to TRP, start lifting, and doing other things to get sex from their own wife. At the same time, they "reward good behavior" by going on dates again and being affectionate with their spouse if she's doing what he wants. I see no problem with this, and I wouldn't really consider it unfair sexual strategy. I don't think it aligns with other RP ideas. It's just that naive Marriage practices don't work, so married RPs do different things.

There are some good posts about how married RPs. This one is particular features a guy who got into a dead bedroom and couldn't leave because of kids. He uses RP tactics to fix his marriage, and eventually things get back to normal. Some of the responses on that post are extremely women centric Masturbate so that you don't demand sex from your wife!, and those posts are part of the reason why I've turned purple. I realized that the Western World really does favor women in some aspects. Or another one trying to justify a dead bedroom.

Asides from dead bedroom cases, I think that RP men can find fulfilling marriages for both sides that work, as long as they're not too extreme about their ideology.

connor1003 · 2016-03-11T22:32:54+00:00

"Sexual success" varies based on the individual. The point of the red pill since its inception has been to give accurate advice to males so they may implement their own individualized strategy most efficiently. Some men may simply decide that monogamy or marriage is how they would like to live their life and RP has no qualms with that.

you_done_messed_up · 2016-03-11T23:10:24+00:00

Most of the /r/marriedredpill population was in a failing marriage, started looking for solutions to fix it and found the red pill somehow.

They want to avoid the consequences of a divorce (if possible): financial devastation, not seeing your kids etc.

I personally think that most of the MRP population would not get married again with the knowledge they have now.

alreadyredschool · 2016-03-11T22:42:08+00:00

"Don't buy a new car. Always buy a used one. A new car loses 70% of its value in the first year."

That is what every car expert will tell you. Now convince him that you are an idiot and want to buy a new car.

"Ok, if you are so sure about it, then I recommend x and y, both have their advantages here the x is..."

drok007 · 2016-03-11T22:45:45+00:00

I am recently engaged and I consider myself RP, but I don't think that TRP defines RP. The sexual strategy of never getting married ever would only be for the most alpha of the alpha males. I've done well for myself in the past sexually, but going forward and thinking about legacy building requires a different plan in today's society.

[deleted] · 2016-03-12T16:04:23+00:00

In my humble estimation, they are different things entirely that share some of the same concepts.

I cannot stand the main RP sub, but I get immense value from MRP.

Since you are trying to save the marriage, nexting isn't usually an option. Sure, you have to take the marriage off of a pedestal and be prepared to leave, but that almost never happens.

But, the basic idea of MRP is be the best man you can be. Not for her, but for yourself. No woman wants to follow a loser, but would go to the end of the earth with a high value man. Become this high value man.

hyperrreal · 2016-03-11T23:36:18+00:00

Marriage is a perfectly acceptable goal/desire for RP men, as are spinning plates, LTRs, and/or having nothing to do with women. The vast majority of users are actively discouraged from pursuing marriage, which I think is a shame. While I do agree that walking down the aisle comes with risks, and obligations - it's also not nearly the 'death sentence' so many make it out to be.

A competent, capable man, that chooses a good woman to marry will not end up in the bottomless pit of agony - contrary to what so many claim.

MRP is not RP in any way shape or form. It's a bunch of guys that have failed to lead from day one, and now they're trying to 'improve' their marriages by using the same tactics and attitudes that single RP users employ when spinning plates. The problem is, when you've been married to someone for a decade or longer - there's no way in the world they are going to believe (or go along with) a sudden reversal in attitude. The users there fail on many fronts.

If they were capable leaders with good boundaries and had maintained their spouse's attraction, then they wouldn't find themselves in such miserable circumstances. They are in an impossible situation. Trying to figure out how to become desirable, competent and strong while also attempting to get an uninterested (and often unwilling) wife to suddenly trust his competence, abilities, and feel desire for him.

It's really hard to read stories about these guys trying to act like college jocks out of the blue, and use ham-fisted tactics to try and create 'dread.' Here's the thing about dread, it should be a natural, passive effect that happens because a man has compelling value and allure. When a guy overtly chases women in front of his wife - she doesn't feel 'dread' she feels disgusted and embarrassed.

I'm not saying the wives are perfect by any means. It really does take two to destroy a marriage (or any relationship). Watching married men try to imitate the behaviors and attitudes of plate spinners is really off-putting. They have no idea how to bring peace and calm into the dynamic, only how to beat their chests and overreact to everything. For a marriage that's experiencing turmoil - which pretty much requires a man that doesn't really know what he's doing (because if he did - the marriage wouldn't be falling apart), the best chance for a reversal would be for the wife to decide that she needs to adapt a different approach.

This is something that has been noted by users in the past. On the RPW sub, we encourage women to take a step back, to trust more - and in almost every case, the relationship improves through her efforts. Men become happier, the women feels less stressed out and insecure.

On MRP, it's constant chaos, with marginal instances of 'success.' It's a lot harder for a man with no track-record of being a leader to suddenly learn how to lead and earn his wife's trust at the same time. It's a lot to ask of anyone, especially when they don't know what they're doing.

Edit: Some of the advice is good. For example, getting in shape and working on personal appearance, following through on promises. That said, creating attraction involves a lot more than a nice body. A husband could have the body of adonis - but if his personality is crummy, his wife would still find him off-putting and resist trusting him.

[deleted] · 2016-03-14T04:01:55+00:00

There is a point that often gets lost in this discussion and that is the most important point of all: We are all walking our own path

I have read "don't get married" on that sub many times.

It's not recommended for two reasons.

1) 99% of the men we're talking to haven't vetted their woman, they have no mission in life, they are willing to put in the work, and they aren't getting married because they want to but rather because they feel they should.

For these reasons, we can't advise any man get married.

2) Marriage is a big fucking gamble, you have a lot to lose to include your true 'self'. The reason men become weak, fat (it's called a DadBod for a reason), and have no identity or purpose is because they fall victim to this idea of getting the girl.

Men lose themselves when they get married and can lose their fortune if they fuck it up.

An essential redpill idea is that men are polygamous, and their sexual agenda and success is defined by having many offspring with many different women.

I have sex every day, my wife and I provide each other with unsolicited everything. Think anal is this lucky thing to get? I'm having it every other night. Think blowjobs are amazing, try blowjobs in a shower with glowsticks.

I am satisfied with the sexual aspect of my life and it has been with the same woman since 2003. Sex only falls off if you let it. Again, this is why you'll see MRP against marriage, most guys can't make that happen.

I have written on the subject of remaining that top guy in her life countless times, search through the MRP posts. They will show up as [deleted] as I changed my username, but the information on how to keep your wife craving your cock is there.

/u/BluepillProfessor thanks for bringing me to this convo, it is something we've discussed many times and it seems the message needs to continue to be spoken until guys understand, you get what you give.

OP, we all walk our own path. I knew from a young age I wanted to get married and have kids and do my thing. So long as a man is pursuing his mission, gaming and leading his wife, and setting the standard from which all other men will be measured, he is RP and marriage is just another aspect of that.

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2016-03-11T22:38:02+00:00

I think it's meant for the men who are already married and then took the red pill. They were obviously blue pill when they got married and have been red pilled the hard way.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-03-12T02:42:29+00:00

The whole "red pill" name came from Dave in Hawaii's marriage game post on roissy (I'll find it later). Then another commenter from roissy then, athol Kay, ran with the whole redpill marriage thing and became very successful. Trp's don't marry advice comes from the mgtow contingent. Not marrying is optimal, but redpill strategies work in marriage or whether you're just getting laid. Its a toolbox not a set of life directives. Some men's idea of sexual success is having a respectful wife who is attracted to them, rp can help them get that. Spinning plates is the optimal sexual strategy for young men learning about women who aren't ready for marriage or don't want to settle down yet

[deleted] · 2016-03-13T01:44:05+00:00

you're a retard.

it's a toolbox for men to be happy. there's no authority, or official anything.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-03-14T03:26:45+00:00

As a moderator on Married Red Pill I may just have some input into this.

Is is possible to an authentic "redpill" man in this day and age, and get married/stay married.

Perhaps /u/thefamilyalpha would like to chime in on this one.

My answer is that if Married Red Pill is NOT "Red Pill" or you cannot be monogomously married and still be "Red Pill" then consider just two words- and then y'all can STFU: Rollo Tomossi.

men are polygamous

The problem in marriage is getting sex from the wife, not multiple women. Some MRP-ers choose to spin plates and be married. A few are in poly type arrangements. Whatever fills your mission as a man is fine with us. We don't judge but we do call you a dumb ass when you are.

The unofficial position of MRP is that we are very much in favor of STAYING married but we generally oppose GETTING married in this age with divorce laws, child custody presumptions, and the usual laundry list.

Sepean · 2016-03-14T11:32:54+00:00

And it seems like by marrying a woman as a redpill man, you are knowingly abandoning your chance at the redpill idea of sexual success.

I'm married. We've been together for 12 years and have 2 kids. She has 14% body fat and visible abs, gets brazilian waxes, very neat about her looks, is up for anything in bed, outside of bed I get a bj whenever I ask for it.

To me it seems that MRP gave me "sexual success", but your mileage may vary.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-03-12T12:57:34+00:00

And it seems like by marrying a woman as a redpill man, you are knowingly abandoning your chance at the redpill idea of sexual success.

Yes you are... but if you have a dream of having lots of successful kids, starting a dynasty, and building powerful social/business connections, you need to get married anyway. There's a stigma attached to unmarried dudes, particularly kids raised with only 1 parent, and it will hold you back more the further you rise in society.

If none of that shit is important to you, do NOT get married. Because the only other thing marriage has to offer is drawbacks. Maybe 100 or 1000 years ago when patriarchy was in full swing, and you could just rape/beat/cheat on your wife with impunity, shit was worth it. Today, not so much.

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jkonrad · 2016-03-12T00:51:08+00:00

I bet if you took a vote of strong, superior men who have had both fulfilling plate-spinning and LTRs, more would favor the LTR. Fucking an amazing woman you admire and have a deep emotional connection with is the better way, ime.

[deleted] · 2016-03-12T11:11:22+00:00

It's hard to tell. TRP coin phrase is that sexual strategy is Amoral. Essentially anything goes.

If marriage fits your brand of TRP, then so be it.

daveofmars · 2016-03-12T16:46:40+00:00

Most guys in TRP would say never get married, but that doesn't mean you can't be RP and married. That's what I'm doing, after all.

winndixie · 2016-03-12T18:37:00+00:00

Isn't their own categorization and alignment up to the individual?

[deleted] · 2016-03-14T12:45:34+00:00

I agree. I am pretty on board with RP issues concerning me.

Whisper · 2016-03-14T23:45:39+00:00

You can't "be" redpill, period.

"Redpill" is not an adjective. It's a metaphor for the act of choosing the lessons of direct experience over those of cultural conditioning.

[deleted] · 2016-03-17T03:32:29+00:00

MRP is redpill on hard mode. A lot of the people there including me found MRP after their wives refuses intimacy and sex while married.

If we found it earlier on we may very well of not gotten married.

Unfortunately you have to be willing to walk away in the end if things dont get better.

Shaenon · 2016-03-12T06:38:51+00:00

Most RP guys dream of having happy long-term relationships but hate and fear women. The Married RP guys are, at least by their own questionable accounts, living the dream: abusing and insulting a wife who's been cowed into submission and will puff up their egos while they high-five each other for showing feeeeemales their place. Every RP guy dreams of becoming a Married RP guy.

[deleted] · 2016-03-14T04:31:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Q4RP: Can Anyone Here Explain /r/MarriedRedPill? Can You Get Married and Be Legitimately "RedPill"?
Author	hyperrreal
Upvotes	12
Comments	203
Date	March 11, 2016 10:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4a128e/q4rp_can_anyone_here_explain_rmarriedredpill_can/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4rp-can-anyone-here-explain-rmarriedredpill-can.275742 https://theredarchive.com/post/275742

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