What's the worse sexual advice you've received?

fiat_lux_ · 2016-10-17T08:41:12+00:00

Don't worry about girls. Just focus on your studies. That's all you need to worry about. Get a good degree. Make lots of money. The women will line up eventually.

~my dear mother

Even if that worked, that would have landed me a bunch of gold diggers, and I'd have been an incel until mid-twenties optimistically. I'm so glad I never took her advice seriously.

In fairness to her, money was all that was on her mind because her family was so poor and they needed it. She was raised with third worlder mentality. North Americans, for the most part, aren't starving and aren't related to people being sold off. lol

I'm a heterosexual male.

DebatePony · 2016-10-17T13:20:20+00:00

Heterosexual female.

"Why are you going to the same college as your bf? Don't you want to experience new things?" By various different people in my life, friends, high school teachers, guidance counselors, and even the fucking secretary who thought she knew me. If you read between the lines they mean "people", as in sleep around. I didn't want to sleep around, I knew that we would have broken up if we went to different colleges. Some people can LDR, we couldn't, we are both far too jealous of the other.

"Don't you worry that you'll regret only being with one man?" Given by college room mates/people I knew in college/step sister. It was bad advice because no, I don't regret it. We have cultivated our sex life over the years and it's fantastic. I couldn't imagine being that vulnerable and open with anyone else. (Side note: my step-sister now says "You're lucky, you don't know what it's like with different people so you can't compare them to your current relationship." I'm caught in between saying "thank you" and "fuck you" such a backhanded "compliment".)

"What will happen if one of you get bored?" Given by college friends, step-siblings, random people who find out how long we've been together and feel like they have the right to comment by my relationship. It's bad advice because when you are in a committed relationship you do not change in a bubble. You affect, and are affected by, your partner.

"You're so young! How will you know you'll want the same things in x years?" Given by so many people over the years. The thing is, I knew I wanted to be with him. I at least wanted to try and I also knew that I would not have that unless I threw myself 100% into it. He did the same, because we both wanted to be together.

And for all of those haters out there, it's been 15 years and we are still going strong. People owe me money out there for various different bets on us breaking up.

KrispyMcSockington · 2016-10-17T11:26:08+00:00

I was told to give up on modern women by a middle aged woman who was not impressed with how shallow young women were.

I was told to be nice and I would definitely meet a nice girl too.

I was told women appreciate niceness, that my being respectful was noble and women would love that.

I was told to stop looking because it will happen when you least expect it.

Oh and that women are not after sex, but they desire love and sex is not all that important.

The bulk of this advice came from women. Women who had no idea that being a man meant making things happen. They interpret an active view to being desperate because women are supposed to be passive. To women, love just happens to them and that is why it is easy for them to tell guys to wait and it will happen, or that it will happen when they are not looking for it. They are on the receiving end of men who have to initiate and make things happen. If a man does not move the process forward, it does not happen.

When I finally initiated and put some work in, I got laid, had relationships and eventually got married. But it did not just materialise from nowhere. I had to work for it. The women just had to show up.

alreadyredschool · 2016-10-17T10:03:27+00:00

You shouldn't lose weight that will just attract those shallow girls that don't like you for yourself.

Betterthanuatlife · 2016-10-17T09:34:27+00:00

Be urself :⁾ might work in my case because I'm attractive, but still to tell this to a guy who's a 4/10 on the other hand is just cruel.

ozymandias271 · 2016-10-17T13:37:06+00:00

Bisexual female.

When I was in Catholic high school, we had a school assembly about how we shouldn't have sex until marriage, which included a skit. In the skit, the man and the woman were exchanging shoes. The man's shoes were fresh and new, while the woman's shoes were worn out.

Man: "It looks like the whole football team wore these!"

Woman: "I made them all wear socks!"

Man: "Socks don't protect against my broken heart! Or foot fungus."

The advice we were supposed to take away from this was "having sex before marriage will hurt your spouse", but in retrospect this is actually an important lesson about sexual communication and talking about your values before you get married. If marrying a virgin is so important to you, you should probably talk about it before the wedding day, and if your partner hasn't had sex with you and you're getting married, maybe you should ask him whether he's saving himself for marriage and whether it's important to him that his wife be a virgin.

ifelsedowhile · 2016-10-17T12:22:37+00:00

you will find someone when you're not looking for it.
suggesting a man to be passive in dating is the apotheosis of naivety.

anitapk · 2016-10-17T14:17:36+00:00

Taking it slow.

Meaning: "Get to know her and wait until you have sex with her for a long time. You will lose her if you try to have sex too soon because she will think that you only want sex."

One of the top reasons for my struggles on the dating market.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2016-10-17T12:53:15+00:00

"All women are passive aggressive, annoying, and vain, you will have to put up with a lot of bullshit when you get married. I am teaching you how to fix a car because women don't like doing this and she will expect you to."

-- My father to 8 year old me

He treated relationships with women like they were some dreaded army just across the horizon to me who was fated to befall me.

And then I became one. :V

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-17T09:59:32+00:00

Every man wants a submissive woman. During sex, it's important to always let him take the lead. Good girls don't initiate, they follow. Doing this will make him cum sooner so you can get back to doing want you want. Male organs are wrinkly and unpleasant to look at anyway, so you'll want him to finish quickly.

Not told to me directly, but this basically sums up the opinions of the women I grew up around, namely my mother and her friends. Most of it was just what I could overhear during their get-togethers. I was never given a "birds and bees" talk, my parents simply bought me books about puberty/adolescence when I got my period at age 10, and implied that's what Sex Ed class is for.

In my early 20s, when I began having sex, I took all their "advice" and summarily tossed it in my mental trashbin, since every part of it was wrong according to my relationship.

Edited to add: I'm biologically female and bisexual.

Willow-girl · 2016-10-17T14:01:18+00:00

My mother used to say, "You can't blame a guy for trying."

And I'd say, "No, but you can thank him!"

And then I'd get her bony little knuckles upside my head. But it was worth it!

sleepyheadp · 2016-10-17T16:55:07+00:00

"Have 3 men in your life, one for buying you things, one who is gay so you can go out with and have a good time, and one for fucking." - Great Grandmother

Pretty sure I was only 13 or so when she gave me this advice. But don't worry, I never took it to heart.

BPremium · 2016-10-17T12:52:09+00:00

"you matter, and someone is going to love you" - appreciate the sentiment mom, but this seems more and more false everyday.

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shogunofsarcasm · 2016-10-17T21:12:55+00:00

"Your only worth it if you are a virgin" or "you have to save yourself until marriage"

Once I got out of high school and started gaining some confidence I knew those were total bull. I am happy with where I am now.

mashakos · 2016-10-18T17:52:49+00:00

"agree with a woman even if you hold a position you can easily defend and she will love you for it"

hands down the worst advice I took to heart in my teens. That doesn't make you endearing, just makes you look weak willed. Followed that advice for a semester in high school before ditching it completely and never listening to friendly advice again.

TempestheDragon · 2016-10-18T21:39:24+00:00

Hopefully I don't get too many downvotes for this but I'll say it anyway:

Marriage before sex.

So many people can divorce and end up with the wrong person because they listened to their hormones too much. It happens the other way, too though: sex too early in relationship so both can make bad choices,

Personally, I think restrain for 3 months is good.

DerEwigeKatzendame · 2016-10-19T09:08:56+00:00

"Nothing good happens after 11:00."

-mom

female, largely heterosexual

anitapk · 2016-10-17T17:25:34+00:00

"Have sex whenever you feel like it"

I always feel like having sex, I have a high libido. But when I do that I get pumped and dumped :(

anitapk · 2016-10-17T15:39:54+00:00

Women love it when you go down on them.

Ok, It might actually be the truth but vagina smells n I ain't goin down no more 😑

Title	What's the worse sexual advice you've received?
Author	anitapk
Upvotes	4
Comments	105
Date	October 17, 2016 7:39 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/57w6f3/whats_the_worse_sexual_advice_youve_received/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-the-worse-sexual-advice-youve-received.272335 https://theredarchive.com/post/272335

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