First time poster

red-sfpplus · 2017-10-20T17:58:44+00:00

litigating attorney

Good, so you know how to read books. Start with No More Mr Nice Guy, then read Athol Kay. They are in order over there on the sidebar --->

in shock

It happens. It will pass, then you will get pissed. Its the anger phase. Work thru it, it will pass as well if you accept it.

she completely despises me even though I have generally done nothing but try to please and care for her

You will understand why, once you read a book or two. No one cares about your work success, her most of all. Are you in shape? Other than round I mean? Start lifting

She waits 1-2 hours after I go to bed before she comes. If I stay up, she goes to bed early.

Who cares. Get your sleep let her do her. You do you.

I’m not sure what to do

Lift, Read, STFU. STFU more, when you think you are STFUpping enough because you likely are not STFUpping.

Lift - did you get that part? Get to 15% body fat.

When you can Bench, Squat and Deadlift at least your body-weight, then start lifting more, because you are still weak as fuck.

Put in the work, or do not. We cant do it all for you. This is your one nice post you get from me.

bogeyd6 · 2017-10-20T17:46:34+00:00

I am going to let this post stay even though its for /r/askmrp. Welcome to the outside of the cave. I would personally like to recommend the book to you called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" that you will see on our side bar. You need to break your nice guy mentality before you can let the real work begin. This will help you get over your anger much quicker as well. Don't forget you need to get a gym membership!

donedreadpirate · 2017-10-20T18:52:31+00:00

Do the work ---->

Good luck. It's a fun ride let me tell you. You have a chance at major transformation, don't fuck it up.

Rageaway17 · 2017-10-20T18:11:25+00:00

Welcome to the club. You're describing things a lot of us have felt.

Other guys have mentioned lifting and reading. You should definitely do that. My one piece of additional advice is to ditch the begging and cajoling for sex. I'm betting that when that works it leaves you feeling almost worse--no sex is worth sacrificing your self esteem for. I would cut that out immediately, even if it leaves you not having sex very often.

bigOlBeta · 2017-10-20T22:24:34+00:00

I’d stay up late every night and get your reading done. Fuck your skank wife

wildnight98 · 2017-10-21T22:05:19+00:00

Thanks to everyone who chimed in. The advice about the sidebar was especially helpful since I was reading the forum on my iPad and the sidebar is not there. I logged in from the desktop and found everything. I bought No More Mister Nice Guy and read the first six chapters in a single gulp. It's a lot to take in. Thanks again.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2017-10-20T17:42:17+00:00

Take a deep breath. The angry phase happens to everyone. Meditate, go to the gym, do something to get your mind off of the "Angry" setting.

What I suggest you do is take this post, head over to AskMRP, and start asking a few questions. As mentioned, there's a lot of resources here. We tell people to STFU, Lift, and Sidebar... don't let the anger consume you while you do this. Start your sidebar reading and ask your questions in AskMRP.

Scurvemuch · 2017-10-20T19:21:42+00:00

Hey, Counselor, the side bar is ---->

Read things, lift things. do some thinking .

edit : and do not speak about anything regarding these things with wife. She is not a jury nor a judge. Hell, she isnt even an opposing attorney .

no acute changes to be made while upset.

rocknrollchuck · 2017-10-20T19:03:48+00:00

How to STFU

You're going to need this more than just about anything else, because your anger will cause you to eventually say things that will set you back a long way. It's so much easier to do it right from the start.

Welcome, you're definitely in the right place. Get a gym membership as others have suggested. Go to the Stronglifts 5X5 website and check it out - it's the best program for getting a good strength and size foundation.

OsmiumZulu · 2017-10-21T03:08:57+00:00

Don’t go Rambo.

If you start to do the work, read, lift, STFU, etc. she will not appreciate it. At least not at first. She will be suspicious of you changing. She will try and push you back into the beta box where she is comfortable keeping you. You’ll be tempted to make a stand or to DEER. Don’t. Just STFU and keep doing the work.

She will keep testing for congruence, and that’s okay. You are looking to re-brand someone who has been a certain way for 14 years. It takes time, so give it time.

degenerativebastard · 2017-10-20T18:16:15+00:00

It's understandable and justified to feel angry and overwhelmed. Start by reading as much as you can of the sidebar to the right. Get all the reading done, and the most important thing to remember when beginning to implement changes is to do it SLOWLY. If you are a completely different person one day, her bullshit detectors will be going off big time.

And LIFT. Often and heavy.

trp_ocd · 2017-10-20T20:49:38+00:00

Give yourself a long hard look in the mirror. Would you fuck you?

Get in shape. Dress better. Groom. Cut hair, trim pubes, smell better.

Also read, learn, and unfuck your mind. She doesn't want pampered. She wants protected. Be the man, ffs.

All these responses are spot on. Get to work, kemoslabby.

Ny_Ambolt · 2017-10-20T23:30:42+00:00

I'm fresh too. Feeling the same things, similar situation. Good news is a transformation is on your doorstep, do the work.

dandar4600 · 2017-10-21T13:02:49+00:00

When we do infrequently have sex, after begging and cajoling, she’s in the shower immediately afterwards.

She feels dirty, as if raped. There is a gilded post on TRP titled Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim. That pretty much applies to many stumbling here for the first time.

Information in the sidebar is there to help you. Start with No More Mr Nice Guy. It's listed first for a reason.

crimson_chris · 2017-10-21T22:03:09+00:00

Welcome. As it's been stated, this belongs on AskMRP. That being said, one big step forward will be losing your ego. Realize that YOU have created your own reality (shitty wife, wuz she like that when you married her) and you have always had the ability to change it.

That is part of the mind fuck as well. You could have fixed this shit at any point, if you had the knowledge and put in the work. Click those Ruby slippers...there's no place like home.

trp_dude · 2017-10-22T02:49:00+00:00

She waits 1-2 hours after I go to bed before she comes. If I stay up, she goes to bed early.

LOL. I don't mean to laugh, but my wife was exactly the same 2 years ago.

The good thing is, you can turn it around. She now races to the bedroom if she sees me heading to bed.

Need your height, weight, age, body fat.

coluorred · 2017-10-22T03:33:19+00:00

" She waits 1-2 hours after I go to bed before she comes. If I stay up, she goes to bed early.

Who cares. Get your sleep let her do her. You do you."

Once you get into MRP and apply it, she will go to bed with you or wake you up later to be with you... just saying.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-10-22T17:15:45+00:00

she despises me even though I have generally done nothing but try to please and care for her.

She despises being left adrift without a strong leader. She despises the fact that the man who is supposed to take care of her won't even take care of himself. She despises that she is with a man who is so unattractive he doesn't even have any sexual options.

All of that can be changed and rather quickly.

alfalfadaddy · 2017-10-23T06:00:25+00:00

There's no going back from here buddy. Reading all the materials on the side bar has changed everything ounce of my life. Past, present, and future. Almost a year deep myself, offering you a dead serious welcome and congratulations.

JudgeDoom69 · 2017-10-23T14:20:28+00:00

Once you get rolling on reading and working out, post your progress as a comment every Tuesday on the weekly Own Your Shit post. The best work is in those comments. You'll need a thick skin, they give it to you straight up and don't pull any punches.

JDRoedell · 2017-10-24T12:17:47+00:00

“Breath Neo... just breath.”

Not much else to add that others haven’t covered.

No more begging for sex

Get to the point where you pass the Buffalo Bill Test (would you fuck you?)

The first step, dread level 0, is doubt be a pussy. See you in OYS.

pirateninj4 · 2017-10-25T12:49:49+00:00

Follow the advice posted on the top comment. To the letter. You'll get there, or you'll get divorced. Either way you'll be better for it.

jshtx2117 · 2017-10-27T20:21:45+00:00

Of you want to get her attention, remove yours ASAP.

PokeyTifu99 · 2017-10-31T12:18:02+00:00

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave my best friend. Get your shit together. You can't let your dead bedroom ruin every aspect of your life. Your wife doesn't want to fuck you? Oh well someone else does. Start waking up early and going to the gym. No one cares if your new, we all have our own shit to worry about. Start cleaning up your diet. All of this is going to raise your test levels and if you want to start feeling masculine again that's going to be a requirement. Doing nothing but trying to please your wife and care for her is a default blue pill character trait. She's a grown woman she can care for herself believe me. Get a new haircut, buy yourself a new pair of dress shoes. Stop looking at the ground when you walk. Puff your chest out and make eye contact with every woman you see. Smile at them with your eyes. Eventually your wife will start seeing your changes and hamster.

Title	First time poster
Author	wildnight98
Upvotes	9
Comments	44
Date	October 20, 2017 5:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/77nnz9/first_time_poster/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/first-time-poster.198397 https://theredarchive.com/post/198397

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