Abuse is Abuse

m5k · 2019-09-14T12:03:33+00:00

I had a roommate in college who would spend an hour on the phone with his girlfriend (who was at another school) and he'd just be apologizing the whole time. I mean like, apologizing every 5 seconds or so. For fucking ages. She was such an abusive bitch.

Krogs322 · 2019-09-14T14:30:29+00:00

Holy shit, someone is actually acknowledging that female-on-male abuse is even possible?

This I like.

leaves-throwaway123 · 2019-09-14T13:44:20+00:00

I got attacked one night after finding evidence that my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me. I'm not going to claim I feared for my life or anything because of the size/strength differential, but rather the potential consequences of her lying about what happened. I told her I didn't want to talk to her and we might be able to talk a bit at a later time but at that point, I had a lot to process and facts were facts. She was super drunk and came at me slapping and pushed me against a door with a sharp piece of a window treatment that cut me up, along with her nails from the slapping/punching. She was trying to get me to fight back, and she later told me it was because in the moment, she was hoping I would lose my temper and hit her so she could have me arrested. That was the most terrified I've ever been, not because I couldn't fight back and easily get her off of me, but because it was an extremely small town and she had grown up with nearly every cop there - and she was the vindictive type and I could easily see her calling her cop buddies and accusing me of whatever she came up with on the fly, and my career and life as I knew it could have been over at that point. Thankfully I was able to get her to leave for the time being but still, super scary situation to be in and I feel for people who are in the same boat and can't see a way out of it. Good news is I have an amazing girlfriend now who I'll probably be marrying soon, and I'm friends with more cops than she is so I don't have to worry about it happening again

darkjuly · 2019-09-14T13:59:00+00:00

A user asked if they accept donations. Yes they accept donations.

Here's the website posted in the image https://willowcenterny.org/

Numbers you can call or text 24-Hour Hotline (585) 222-SAFE (7233)24-Hour Text Line (585) 348-SAFE (7233)

occasionally_dumb · 2019-09-14T12:20:56+00:00

mentoo

Dorinus2 · 2019-09-14T13:37:29+00:00

They accept donations?

IlIllIIllIIlIlIlIllI · 2019-09-14T14:01:32+00:00

Equality!

TerraceWindsor · 2019-09-14T14:07:56+00:00

In the process of getting a divorce after my soon to be ex tried to smash my face in with a chair. I had never been more scared n my life and also knew if I even tried to defend myself I would likely end up "the aggressor". 8 months later what happened still freaks me out, and I'm not helped by some people who have laughed at what happened. The world can be a weird screwy place...

jackishere · 2019-09-14T14:10:46+00:00

A lot of people here saying if they hit you you shouldn’t hit back anyways but someone like me I’m a very skinny guy, if a girl hit me I would feel justified in hitting back to defend myself based on my size

DeadlyNuance · 2019-09-14T14:02:56+00:00

Abuse is abuse....let’s talk about it. [feminist then walks into the room] “you hate women”.

DamnYouRichardParker · 2019-09-14T17:20:33+00:00

My first year highschool history teacher left school one day. A few months back he came back to school and explained to us what happened.

His wife, a 300 pound woman, him a 90 pound man. She was extremely abusive to him. She abused him physically and verbally...

One day he left her after she blocked him from going out of the garage by blocking the door because she was upset he didn't take out the garbage...

He called the cops on her several times but nothing ever happened. Cops used to ridicule him for no being a man...

After that time when she locked him in the garage, he managed to have her arrested and pressed charges for forceful incarceration and physical abuse because his neighbour testified for him...

Pour guy, he was such a great teacher

darthjeffrey · 2019-09-14T14:06:51+00:00

When you call that number, it is just a recording that says "Hit that bitch back."

dislexi · 2019-09-14T14:23:31+00:00

I was hit twice by my then girlfriend, each time I knew it was wrong for her to do that but I just didn't know what to do. It wasn't until years later that I understood that a lot of other people had the same thing happen to them and struggled just as much to stand up to it. She ended up dumping me later, which took me a long time to recover from. Years later I watched this video and it really made it easier to understand my actions I watched this TED Talk and thought you would find it interesting.

Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave http://go.ted.com/Tj3Nxg

Learn more about watching TED Talks on all of your favorite platforms: https://www.ted.com/about/programs-initiatives/ted-talks/ways-to-get-ted-talks

i_dunno_how_to_type · 2019-09-14T12:39:32+00:00

Sbeve

SwitchCaseGreen · 2019-09-14T14:48:00+00:00

This is one of the first times I've seen public acknowledgement that men may also be victims of DV. It's about time we recognize that fact.

not-a-cheerleader · 2019-09-14T14:49:02+00:00

i know this isn't funny, but my dyslexic self read "shit me"

dasehh · 2019-09-14T16:59:50+00:00

My mother has hit me, screamed at me, broke me down etc. on many occasions. I grew up terrified of her, but it never really occurred to me that it was abusive until years later. I think it was because of this stereotype that women can’t be abusers. I wish I’d gotten out sooner lol

gamerhugo07 · 2019-09-14T13:27:26+00:00

Now watch as some Feminist C*nt tries to crawl up there to deface it or try to rip it down.

Wendingo7 · 2019-09-14T14:29:03+00:00

Knock a bitch out. Simple solutions to simple problems.

Iconoficons · 2019-09-15T02:34:20+00:00

I had a chick I discovered cheated and I dumped her right on the spot her response was to tell anyone and everyone I had abused her (especially the new guy she found)even though I was able to prove I never touched her because I never had.

Started getting death threats, although they stopped when her new bf (the guy making them) caved the side of her face in and got arrested for it.

Then she tried being friends with me again because she was pregnant and alone with her real abusers child, nope......

DoveesBloodyBear · 2019-09-14T13:40:22+00:00

I don't know if this is PPD but it should be everywhere.

MisplacedKittyRage · 2019-09-14T15:14:02+00:00

One of the scariest times in my life was when my brother was with his psycho ex-girlfriend. She manipulated him into cutting contact with us, deleted his email account, made him sleep on the floor and without food as “punishment for being bad” whatever that means. Tore off his clothes and shoes and threw them out. Threatened him with a knife, cut his face and body in many places. The only reason we found out is because they ran out of money so his gf decided hitting us up for money was the best idea, so she started sending us threatening messages, and pictures of my brother with his face cut up and really nasty insulting messages about why my dad left her and us. He was in a different country than us and we didn’t know where he lived, so even when we got embassies and consular services involved we couldn’t find him. Thankfully he decided to escape, but he lost all his belongings in the process plus the money he had saved to move to a new country. I am glad he is doing okay now but that was legitimately one of the worst times of my life. I’m sure he felt that even more.

So signs: if a friend or relative cuts off contact after say moving in with a partner, or is more standoffish than usual, if you see physical signs of things not being well, maybe then its time to have a sensible conversation with your loved one. Women can 1000% be abusive to men, and not just emotionally.

All of this I say as someone who considers herself an actual feminist, but bad people exist everywhere and abuse is a lot more complex than just getting hit. You’re not a good person because you have ovaries and bad because you have a penis. That line of thinking only perpetuates situations in which people get hurt and stigmatized.

HillarysHitman · 2019-09-14T17:29:22+00:00

This was my ex. I would like to think I’m a pretty normal, easy going guy. And all my friends agree. I never cheated or even talked to any other women, however she always came up with something for me to apologize for. Whether it be me smoking a cigarette before dinner, or me crating her puppy during the day who had just chewed up my couch. She would get to drinking and fly off the handle, there was no calming her down, and she’d punch me or push me and leave the house, drive drunk and then send nasty texts to me. She would personally insult me and talk bad about myself, my job, and my family. From the start she said she dated a guy who beat the ever loving shit out of her, then i found out she still was contacting him and it was my fault, because i was “an asshole”. The next day she would always act like everything was fine and that i should be the one apologizing. She would find one small minute detail in everything i told her and then try to poke holes in my story to where i couldn’t keep up. I finally kicked her out and ended up having to block her on all platforms after she threatened to call the police on me for “stealing from her” aka she left her laptop at my house, and then freaked out on my at a bar we were at, threw my keys across the street because she thought i was making fun of her cousin. It was toxic all around.

ellingw17 · 2019-09-14T23:37:59+00:00

It's great that abuse of men is being acknowledged in public like this. Not making a big point out of the different pronoun. Just using it like how it should be. This is how you spread awareness

MeatSounds · 2019-09-14T13:02:52+00:00

She hit me....and it caused me to get a boner.

Jls_69 · 2019-09-14T15:59:52+00:00

Good to see Rhett and Link are spreading awareness

2019-09-14T16:11:10+00:00

Nice to see that it isn’t “he hit me”

Cyrino420 · 2019-09-14T18:43:01+00:00

Hit her back once, problem solved.

Saul_T_Naughtz · 2019-09-15T00:34:18+00:00

When I turned 18 my father allowed me to ask any question I wanted, but I had to hear his side of the story. So I obviously went for why it didn't work out between mom and dad. I knew the long story about them being young, alcoholics, and their love for the "hippy movement". I knew the story of my father cheating on my mom, but I got this gem instead.

"Your mother was abusive, so when you told me she hit you it devastated me. One night when she had caught me with another woman and confronted me in the kitchen. She was drunk and mad when it started to turn abusive. She was slapping at me and I got backed into the washer machine when she got in real close and whispered this, 'Go ahead, call the cops, they will never believe you.' "

That was the day my father left and never came back into my life until I was in 4th grade. I don't blame him, and partly why I am not married with kids. I don't want my mom to ever see the joy of her only Son hitting those land marks.

offtopic - I am currently evicting my mom out of my grandmothers house for the 3rd time. #NeverAgain

lostNtranslated · 2019-10-20T11:55:49+00:00

This genuinely makes me sad. Even though it's statistically less likely for a woman to abuse a man, this should be more talked about! The fact that it's even on this sub, that women are excused for this behavior, is actually depressing. In my opinion this should be a no-brainer moment.

PS: female speaking here, not that it is of any importance

Brokenbalorbaybay · 2019-09-14T13:19:53+00:00

Aye if that's the bar we're both goin to jail.

gladizh · 2019-09-14T14:47:57+00:00

Unexpected Good Mythical Morning

rakorako404 · 2019-09-14T15:29:38+00:00

I have always been wondering how the fuck does one dial letters

huxepenner · 2019-09-14T15:54:02+00:00

Progress!

avicioustradition · 2019-09-14T17:45:48+00:00

It’s so nice to see things like this. Damn skippy, abuse is abuse.

mrhoppy_ · 2019-09-14T17:54:06+00:00

My ex used to hit me a lot, and was also incredibly emotionally abusive.

mrmillan323 · 2019-09-14T18:43:29+00:00

I remember when my ex assaulted me, no matter what she did she wasn't actually going to physically hurt me with her hands but it's the fact that she tried to do her best to hurt me that freaked me out. I hope soon it will be socially acceptable to talk about how abusive women can be too.

Palidupe · 2019-09-14T21:11:50+00:00

I was in an incredibly abusive relationship and not many people belive me cuz im a big guy, 6'3 bulky and she was much smaller but she was so in my head and would threaten suicide at the drop of a hat. It was horrible.

Hayleyspantybitch · 2019-09-14T22:54:56+00:00

Edit: Yeah it’s utter bullshit! They scream victim and then turn out to be the snake in the grass: what’s worse? This bitch cheated on me after all anyway. Like I cheated, so there’s one strike. She has one for assaulting me on each occasion that it’s happened, so like 10 or 15 strikes for her, plus another big strike for ruining my life and having me charged, And another for each time she’s threatened to call police to lie again(since it went so well the first time), and another for trying to convince me that none of this would have happened had I not cheated. 🙇‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Dashaquavius · 2019-09-15T09:45:02+00:00

Had an abusive ex girlfriend. This... does put a weak smile on my face.

nannotyranno · 2019-09-15T21:31:55+00:00

Blessed Sbeve

AgitatedGold2 · 2019-09-17T13:53:16+00:00

My ex wife was abusing me, mostly verbally, sometimes hitting me... I could never hit back, she was a tiny woman and I am 6ft3´. One day I snapped and hit her back straight in her nose causing it to break (alot). Surgery was needed. She left me and filed a bunch of charges. The charges were eventually dropped because I filed charges on her as well and my sister once witnessed the psycho hitting me. Best thing to happen to me EVER. I now live with a normal human being. So my advice, hit back once (make sure to gather some shit on here before that, record etc). it will be enough (sorry for my crappy english)

Trashman2500 · 2019-09-23T20:14:33+00:00

The only good post on this sub.

JowellXReddit420 · 2019-10-09T20:47:45+00:00

She (only) hit me (once)

S B E V E

McBlemmen · 2019-11-06T01:33:40+00:00

I can't tell if the stripes were painted on afterwards or if they are part of the sign.. because it looks so poorly done

ClaSher0082 · 2020-01-01T11:00:43+00:00

I did not hit her I did not hit her

Oh hi mark

paranormalmb · 2019-09-15T04:27:29+00:00

I wonder how many people were pissed off at this sign.

StanleyOpar · 2019-09-14T15:20:26+00:00

She did not hit me. It's bullsheeut she did naaaut.

misfitx · 2019-09-14T18:38:32+00:00

It's an excellent start. Emotional abuse is still largely ignored but small steps are important.

Hayleyspantybitch · 2019-09-14T19:21:50+00:00

Where was this sign posted?!

2019-09-14T19:53:58+00:00

You know what pisses me off about this sign? Why no area code? We live in a world of area codes since many people don't have "local" phones anymore.

2019-09-15T05:53:54+00:00

Then I hit back and she realized man is stronger, woke up, apologized and it hasn't happened since.

furrtaku_joe · 2019-09-15T06:01:04+00:00

ok, but is it necessarily unhealthy for both partners to don protective gear and box in a gym a few times per year?

GreenEyedFreak714 · 2019-09-20T01:36:02+00:00

...and it felt like a kiss.

enxoran · 2019-09-23T01:20:01+00:00

I just got out of a relationship like this. Feels so good to be free

heathensam · 2019-09-23T04:00:37+00:00

That sub... Wtf...

Everest-Gamer · 2019-09-27T12:07:37+00:00

Is this vandalized? Idk since the strike through color is the same as the logos color

chode_mcblob · 2019-11-22T07:09:13+00:00

That's all it took for me. My gf at the time got drunk again and started in on me with the shit talk guess she didnt like my replies to that cause she punched me in the head. Pepper spray is great takes the fight right out of em long enough to get the cops there and I walked away no trouble. Wasnt about to take that or wait till i snapped and get myself arrested

crazyindian97 · 2020-01-22T19:27:37+00:00

Guys never hit a girl , even if she hit you never hit her back , it's a trap and I don't any of you guys in deep shit

2020-01-23T03:24:20+00:00

Bdsm

idan_da_boi · 2020-01-23T15:07:13+00:00

If you drop the Sun at “she” it would have been an Instagram quote

i-am-a-guy-207 · 2020-03-04T07:27:07+00:00

Amen Brother

GoodBoi_JStack · 2019-09-14T23:52:08+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever dated a girl who hasn't hit me. IMO, it’s not their fault. Women suffer from emotional outbursts because our society hasn’t trained them to control their emotions like they do for/to boys. Next time you wonder why men seem emotionally unavailable, remind yourself that we were made this way so that we wouldn’t lash out when we got angry. There’s a good reason for this. When men start swinging, people go to the hospital.

Nuttin_Up · 2019-09-14T16:49:46+00:00

But what about the patriarchy? /s

-sneezysour- · 2019-09-14T20:18:51+00:00

good thing I only date girls I can KO with a backhand

killerfrost86 · 2019-09-14T23:30:00+00:00

Talk? You mean insert her head through the nearest section of drywall

BMF209 · 2019-09-14T15:56:44+00:00

Generally, the predominant offender in abusive relationships is male. The "She" in this sign could be indicating a mother's abuse of a child, or maybe, an attempt at political correctness.

shivap111 · 2019-09-14T15:27:41+00:00

r/sbeve

OptimalBarley · 2019-09-14T13:41:56+00:00

My ex swung at me maybe half a dozen times and landed a couple. It's not ok and she needs help but it's definitely not the same as if I'd done it to her. I think guys have more responsibility to "just leave" because there's less threat of being physically prevented from doing so.

ImmersionVoidParagon · 2019-09-14T15:58:12+00:00

This is probably meant for lesbians tbh

johnnysteen · 2019-09-14T12:26:06+00:00

I know women can certainly be psychologically abusive, but physically? Every woman I know hits because they have no control over their emotions...And I laugh whenever they do because it's like a mouse trying to hit an elephant.

obomagone · 2019-09-14T17:28:24+00:00

Real talk tho if a girl hits her boyfriend it will like hurt a little but the guy will be alright but if I guy actually punches a girl in the face she will look like a swollen raccoon for a week in a half, that’s why there’s the 12 hit rule for when a girl hits you cuz 12 girl hits is about equal to one guy hit

Saul_T_Naughtz · 2019-09-14T22:13:50+00:00

Anyone else concerned about reddit's hyperfocus on abuse done by women? Just me? Is it just possible, bear with me on this, that abuse done by women is a problem but the obsessive attention it gets is due to the fact that this site is mostly used by men? It's kind of like the manufactured outrage over false sexual assault allegations. Do they happen? Yes, but more often than not women are pressured into making them by a man in their family. And handing out heavy sentences to the people that make them will shy people away from reporting actual rape, which is the vast majority of allegations.

Anytime I see a post like this, invariably there are misogynists in the comments using it as free pass to go on a tirade about "evil bitches being crazy." Absolute loons who think swearing off all of the opposite sex and complaining constantly about them is an identity. Perhaps they need to look at the common denominator in their lives and not the fictitious women that live rent-free in their heads.

ThoroughSmile · 2019-09-14T21:29:35+00:00

I mean, as I guy with a sister and 2 step-brothers, getting slapped by a woman is really not even as bad as getting the flu shot. Not saying women can't be abusers, not at all, but if you only get hit once then break-up, don't get her arrested.

Abuse is Abuse

Comments

mentoo

mentos?

The fresh maker

bruh 🤡🤡🤣🤣🔥🔥

Title	Abuse is Abuse
Author	darkjuly
Upvotes	34231
Comments	455
Date	September 14, 2019 11:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PussyPassDenied
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/d441hq/abuse_is_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PussyPassDenied/abuse-is-abuse.1069971 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069971