Extreme flakiness from girls on the apps

SonyHDSmartTV · 2025-01-04T02:10:57+00:00

Just have to throw enough shit at the wall until some of it sticks

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-01-04T01:24:14+00:00

The apps are a joke

Approach in real life

There's way more guys to women on there and women never follow up/through with messages.

The quality of people IRL is much better too.

rando755 · 2025-01-04T01:55:14+00:00

I don't use dating apps, but I sometimes read the subreddits about dating apps. Your experience is par for the course for men on dating apps at this time.

iamMoz-art · 2025-01-04T03:40:40+00:00

Here’s what seems to work the best

You need to use voice memos and have a personality. Voice memos is the silver bullet because you can say much more controversial things in a really playful way, while text it’ll likely come off harsh, aggressive, or a red flag of some kind.

You need to spike their emotions and have an interesting conversation, and text doesn’t really allow for it.

Another is if you can get HER to send voice back, and laugh, COMPLIMENT her laugh “you have a really cute laugh” is all you have to say. This way your not talking about her body etc, but her voice is a non “ick” type compliment.

You also get better luck with women who just joined the apps, women who just started online dating, send likes during the time they would be online (a like at 3am will be under a hundred others in queue by morning)

You’ll still get alot of girls that’ll flake, they just do

Amaran345 · 2025-01-04T03:01:01+00:00

It makes sense because secure and anxious women are already in relationships, and if they aren't, they prefer to meet their guys outside without apps, so that leaves only avoidants, women that flake and ghost due to insecurities

pdx4nhl · 2025-01-04T02:37:02+00:00

Unless you are a man who in an 8-10 AND 6'+ AND your photos show you have money (well traveled, fancy weddings, etc) then you will have a tough time. I believe it's pretty well researched that 90% of women swipe on the top 10% of men even if those women are BBWs who are 5s AT BEST.

Women, no matter how attractive they are, get TONS of attention from men on apps: they have inflated self worth and some women, imo, are on there just to get the dopamine hit of likes.

I think some apps (if not all) have algorithms that hide the more attractive women from men who aren't top 10%. If not many women are swiping on you, then the app shows you women who don't get many swipes...BBWs, less attractive women and women who's first profile pic is them with some goofy face in front of an Arby's or some shit.

Apps suck for men...and I am sure they suck for most women too.

Ampboy97 · 2025-01-04T01:43:33+00:00

That’s pretty normal

No-Preference8767 · 2025-01-04T02:13:33+00:00

I’m 27 and newly back on the dating scene. I’ve been using all the major apps (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge) and the common theme I encounter on all of them is that girls I match with either don’t reply, or stop replying after 1 message. These are pretty average girls too, if we were together physically in a room for a party I don’t believe I’d have this much trouble connecting with them at all.

Yeah the app matches mean so much less now. You should focus on moving things off app ASAP without coming off like a bot .

Between 1 - 10 messages is ideal

BackendSpecialist · 2025-01-04T03:28:54+00:00

What works for me is mentioning an actual date pretty early in the convo. They’re not looking for pen pals. Women have many things/people fighting for their attention. If you’re interested then you should immediately mention a date even if it’s something like “I’m thinking about where to take you for a date, would you prefer dinner, show, hike, or something low pressure like a coffee date?”

This tends to work for me

Edit - wow, the responses itt are outrageous. Op, take my advice from above. If you’re getting matches then you can get dates.

SnooKiwis2460 · 2025-01-04T03:41:37+00:00

I don’t understand as well… I match once in a blue moon with a Bombshell and after 3 messages she stops talking. Next day I get unmatched… I literally don’t understand.

YoMiner · 2025-01-04T05:38:06+00:00

It's the way it is now, and how it has been for quite a while. Every now and then you'll still match with someone on an app where the conversation is effortless, but in general that's rare.

liftingnstuff · 2025-01-04T01:30:10+00:00

If you're getting matches but getting no replies then your opening message is bad. Google online dating guide, there are lots of free and paid guides telling you how to structure opening messages for high reply rates.

HyperByte1990 · 2025-01-04T23:55:26+00:00

Unfortunately it just is what it is. Many girls on there aren't super interested in dating. Many women on here complain about the same thing that guys are also boring and bad at communicating and just act like pen pals and don't actually want to go on real dates.

The ones you do vibe with and are eager to send you messages and meet-up are the one's to focus on. It really does depend on what stage of dating they're in. I've had very average looking girls who do one or two messages then unmatch and I've had very attractive ones that send me tons of messages and we trade numbers then actually go on dates. So the guys here saying you need to be a male model aren't giving realistic feedback.

Think of it like applying for a job on LinkedIn. Each company these days gets flooded with hundreds or thousands of applicants... out of those most are low quality and even if you are better than them and the company reaches out to you for an interview... then many of them will still be unresponsive and give excuses like they're still figuring out their budget and waiting to hire until next quarter.

Sandvicheater · 2025-01-04T05:12:55+00:00

Apps are like slot machine tricking dudes into thinking they can score "jackpot" with a decent 6+ rated cutie if they cough up the dough for dating app premium "front of the line" service.

NO wait that's a disservice to slot machine because slot machines have to pay out once in a while based on actual statistical odds and regulated by the Vegas gaming commission.

A dude could pay a dating app the highest tier and not get a single date for years.

Forward-Grass5421 · 2025-01-04T06:27:14+00:00

And that's the key. If these girls were in person there would be no issues. Unfortunately that's not the case online.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-01-04T09:10:16+00:00

"I wonder if maybe it’s a conversation problem where I’m either too enthusiastic or too boring, but regardless of how I change the way I message, I can’t seem to please anyone lol."

Women on apps will always flake and a lot of times is not even your fault. I did well on bumble, and I matched several times with women, who flaked and then I ended up meeting and having sex with later. I kept recycling my account every month or so to reset the likes and get the new guy boost the app gives you to hook you into paying.

Lot of women use the apps on brief moments when they are bored, they dont put nearly as much effort as men, and they get bombed with messages from hundreds of guys, some hotter and more interesting than you.

This has no workaround, game and looks will make the grind more effective, but you will have to grind. What I did was stick to bumble because women are forced to be more proactive; I usually got like 30 likes in 2 or 3 days (I deleted my account after this period), of which 22 flaked or were bots or working girls, of the remaining 8 I got 2 or 3 dates for the month.

You can couple this with a solid social circle and you can get a date or two every weekend.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2025-01-04T16:29:29+00:00

The dating apps are purely a numbers game. Just get as many matches as you can by maximinuzinf your profile and then try to get the girls off the apps as fast as you can.

Even a mid girl in a big city will get dozens upon dozens of matches and messages, so you need to separate yourself from the app to stand out.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-01-10T17:02:53+00:00

I think most men should learn COLD approach. Online apps do work, but they require so much effort that they should be done only as a bonus . Also the most average looking girls are very demanding on the apps because they have the illusion of choice .

Have you tried cold approach ?

funkysupe · 2025-01-04T03:54:15+00:00

Wait wait… so your post is about how you can’t message well on the apps, but have no trouble in person? And why aren’t you just doubling down on stuff in person again lol?

Dandys3107 · 2025-01-04T10:07:08+00:00

Obviously, dating apps were rapidly growing past last few years, making potentially better option for a moderately attractive girl waiting just few clicks away. Also, with the influx of guys that are not that experienced with gender dynamics, many girls have their standards and ego elevated to the levels of mild delusion. If you were not blessed with extraordinary genetics, you usually need to put significant effort in your photos, bio and opener game to close matches regularly. Also, if apps are not working out for you, there are plenty of other ways to meet women. And in my opinion, they are far more satisfying and meaningful.

NomadicNautilus · 2025-01-04T08:28:01+00:00

I disagree with most of these comments. I met my wife on Bumble. Dating apps are great. Everyone’s there for the same reason. If you go in with goal to keep it casual (that should be your goal, anything else is too much pressure), it can evolve into something more meaningful (if that’s your goal).

Here’s what you do: 1. swipe on girls you find attractive. Easy.

“Hey (girl’s name), I like your profile, you’re so cute. How’s it going today?” or something to a similar effect. You will get more responses by telling them they’re cute in the opening message, I promise. Everyone likes a compliment.
A few casual messages back and forth on whatever app. Keep it simple and fun. Talk about your day or whatever really.
“Well here’s my number, shoot me a text if you feel like grabbing a drink sometime (your phone number)
If you’ve been keeping it fun and loose and casual, she’s likely to text.
A little more back and forth, fun and simple you know the drill. Again just a few messages, you’ll never get to know someone over a text convo.
Set up a date. Drinks. Dinner is too much pressure.
Don’t fuck up the date and at least kiss her at the end of the night.

This has worked for me many times. Best of luck. It’s a numbers game. Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t go your way.

Title	Extreme flakiness from girls on the apps
Author	Apart-Caterpillar581
Upvotes	74
Comments	56
Date	January 4, 2025 1:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ht2swo/extreme_flakiness_from_girls_on_the_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/extreme-flakiness-from-girls-on-the-apps.1540322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540322

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