"Like everyone, men deserve to feel as though their sexuality is hot, awesome, delicious, valuable, and can be pleasurable for all parties".... Be honest, guys. How many of you have ever felt that way in your lives?

Kuonji · 2010-10-02T06:28:31+00:00

I have always felt as though sex is something that only I truly want, and that anytime I get it, I'm being done a favor to some degree.

It doesn't help that it has been somewhat held over my head as something my partner did for my benefit rather than for mutual benefit.

So to answer your question, yes. I stifle my sexuality almost completely because I do not feel free to express it, even with my most intimate partner, but especially anywhere else.

Clockw0rk · 2010-10-02T07:40:14+00:00

I've never, ever felt my sexuality was something .. respectable, let alone hot, awesome, delicious or valuable. The constant demonizing of male sexuality in modern society is chastising.

Women oft complain "women with multiple partners are seen as whores where as men with multiple partners are praised by their peers", but the reality is that men are treated as whores by default. We're vilified as hormonally irresponsible, violent criminals that could lose hold on reality and rape any female around us at a moment's notice.

We're made aware of 'size matters' much more frequently than women are to breast size, and it only goes one way. For the throngs of fans cheering for 'delicious flat chest' and the counter-argument of bigger are the best, the male penis is singularly 'go big or go home'.

I barely know what 'male sexy' would be, as it's never spoken of outside of body image standardizing and big dicks. Everything else about male sexuality is smuggled out of dark allies in unmarked paper sacks.

By these means, I have been shamed to be a sexual male. So I'm not. Here's my V card.

corpseflower · 2010-10-02T03:56:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

kloo2yoo · 2010-10-02T03:58:11+00:00

potd. I hope this leads to a positive discussion.

2010-10-02T09:48:48+00:00

Well from my girlfriends sure, if they weren't into it I'd be worried.

But you're right. From the perspective of a college student, who has spent far too many nights trying to meet girls at parties and bars, I've noticed something.

If a man approaches a girl and she is interested its all fine. If he approaches a girl and she's not interested, regardless of how docile or respectful he's been, he's a creeper, potentially dangerous, and fair game for humiliation.

sotek2345 · 2010-10-02T04:06:05+00:00

So, Men of /MR. have there been moments in your lives where you felt your sexuality was actually valued?

I don't think I've ever felt that with anybody but my wife, and even with her it was rare.

kachapati · 2010-10-02T11:11:47+00:00

Hope I'm not thread-jacking. While I do acknowledge that pretty much all of my life I have been reminded, "...but you're not like most other women..." I just wanted to let you know there are some of us out there.

I (constantly) praise the man (sometimes men) in my life. It absolutely would be considered sexual harassment in any other situation. I'm in an open relationship currently. I constantly tell him that he's gorgeous, unbearably sexy and the things I plan to do to him. I assure him that the days after we see one another he will only be successful at work because there is nothing like a well-fucked man; people can sense it. I beg him to make more time for himself sexually...either with me or some other lucky woman, because his sexuality is valuable and he shouldn't deny himself. I always write him a detailed thank you note the following day. I absolutely beg for him to be in my mouth (in person & by text/email) because I love the way he tastes. I tell him that it's selfish for only me to benefit from his sexual mastery. I'm not clingy, needy or jealous. He knows he can tell me about any other sexual experience and I'd only be happy for him. If a woman treats him with less than he deserves, it makes me want to slap a bitch.

When I refer to 'him', I don't mean only the current gentleman I'm seeing. I treat every man I'm seeing or have seen with such respect. I can't help it, it's just the way I am. I do wonder (not enough to change) if my personality is such a shocking change from what men are used to that they respond by being less pursuant. Either that they are used to being ignored or treated with less respect and don't quite know how to handle such compliments. Oh well. If a man isn't ready to be valued or worshiped then it's not going to work.

It makes me sad that apparently so few men are valued, worshiped by the women in their lives. Not only because I adore men and can't understand why a woman wouldn't fully appreciate and respect hers to such a degree but also because I have sons. I want only the best for them, they each deserve to be worshiped by the woman in their lives. I wonder if I am setting them up with unrealistic ideals simply by being who I am. I definitely don't baby them and they're not mama's boys but by my example they may seek a woman like me and I don't know how realistic that will prove to be.

ignatiusloyola · 2010-10-02T10:38:20+00:00

Women's sex drive typically turns down or at least changes when they are in different moods. The result is that sex seems less important to them than their emotional state.

Combine this with the tendency for men to get aroused when their body releases adrenalin, and you have two countered effects.

Since men can't (shouldn't) have sex without a willing partner, and the reason for the female's lack of interest isn't something that will change quickly, men look like the badguy and get rejected.

The times when women want to have sex, though, it is relatively easy to change a man's mind about the subject, and it is self serving for it to seem like it is fulfilling the man's desires (even though she wanted to have sex in the first place). Thus, we have another situation where men seem like the instigator.

In most cases, men are the instigators. In some it is welcome, in others it is rejected. Thus, men take the blame for the sexual problems, and it is made to seem like women give men sex only out of their good graces.

kanuk876 · 2010-10-02T05:40:25+00:00

It's hard to feel that my sexuality is hot, awesome, delicious, valuable and can be pleasurable for all parties when half my dick was carved from my screaming tortured body when I was only days old, in a bid to prevent me from enjoying sex as an adult.

I mean, seriously, when they amputate a part of your body against your will, that tends to send a pretty strong and undeniable message.

kanuk876 · 2010-10-02T05:36:19+00:00

OP, you're not alone. My experiences mirror yours.

PublicStranger · 2010-10-02T23:23:59+00:00

I was recently telling my boyfriend how sexy his body is, and he told me that no one has ever expressed lustful desires for him like that. It made me very sad.

numbernumber99 · 2010-10-03T03:05:20+00:00

My wife thanks me every time after sex. I thank her too.

btw I love her.

corpseflower · 2010-10-02T04:34:29+00:00

I'm sorry for the way society has changed. It is shit that guys can't tell co-workers they look nice, or pretty, etc without feeling creepy/like they are going to be tattled on. I love complements! ...now the man that always grunts a bit under his breath is a little creepy, but... I mean... It's not that big of a deal.

cislum · 2010-10-02T05:07:28+00:00

Where are you living to feel like this?

I've always seen my sexuality as something natural. It's a large part of my personality without being creepy at all. People know I'm a sexual being and in the proper context it has been very appreciated. Also, I don't' get involved with workmates or classmates because it's often more trouble than it's worth, that in mind it's always okay to smile, and even flirt a little, I just feel kind of weird if I don't put on a little charm in almost every setting, nothing over the top though.

HoneyRider · 2010-10-02T05:04:55+00:00

Girl here. First comment. Sorry if this is a no girls subredit.

Yes, men can be hot, sexy, delicious, gorgeous.. i could go on. And it probably isn't the guy you would think of. Every girl (female) has something they find attractive and it isn't the same thing.

I guess because there have been so many instances of REAL sexual harassment people have freaked out to the point that any indication of even implying that there are two genders who may be attracted to one another is offensive.

I wish I could give advise as to how to be yourself without getting sued, but I am not a lawyer. Best I can do is to tell you that I appreciate being smiled to, told I look pretty, etc. Of course I live in the south where men open doors for women not because the women are incapable, but rather because they mamas would kick that butt if they didn't show the respect.

Now I guess I better go snuggle up against my man and tell him how hot he is.

Il128 · 2010-10-02T14:05:54+00:00

There was a time in my life when I was playing college football and in the best shape of my life, attending graduate school and was in a position to have sexual intercourse with, what appeared to me at the time, any woman I wanted to.

My future wife told me at that time that I was a "fox" and had super potential.

This six year period of my life was proceeded by 12 years of nerdom in school and followed by 20 years of marriage and a "successful" career.

Those six years have jaded me for life. You see, I know what women want, I know how they "are."

BZenMojo · 2010-10-02T18:09:21+00:00

It wasn't until college when I realized women really like sex, especially with men who like sex and are passable to the task. Completely changed my perspective on male-female interaction.

Still, I can't avoid the nagging feeling that I'm burdening women by showing them sexual attention and tend to feel things out a lot before stepping up. I'm lucky that I live in a city where women will approach men (Los Angeles), to be honest.

classmaster · 2010-10-02T07:26:36+00:00

So, Men of /MR. have there been moments in your lives where you felt your sexuality was actually valued?

When I'm pounding a girl, and she's wet and writhing and screaming out for her God, yeah, I feel like my "sexuality is actually valued."

When I meet a girl for a date, and it's obvious she's just spent hours on her clothes and hair and makeup, trying to make herself hot enough for me to fuck her, yes, I feel like my "sexuality is actually valued."

When I'm surfing for porn and I realize that every fantasy I'll ever have has already been cast, flimed, distributed, and is available free of cost and at my convenience, yes again, I feel like my "sexuality is actually valued."

I hope I'm not sounding too much like a dick here, because your sex problem is in fact a natural and predictable response to the pervasive Feminist misandry we're all by now well acquainted with. Male sexuality is powerful, and so it is feared. The secret is finding ways to use that power (and yes, even the fear) to your advantage. Despite Feminist propagandizing, most women want to be dominated by a man in full control of his sexual power. Be that man. Lose the shame.

corpseflower · 2010-10-02T08:42:56+00:00

"Like everyone, men deserve to feel as though their sexuality is hot, awesome, delicious, valuable, and can be pleasurable for all parties".... Be honest, guys. How many of you have ever felt that way in your lives?

Actually I'll be honest - I've been made to feel that way by pretty much every girl I've slept with. I've also had female friends that I haven't slept with give me very positive reviews of my sexuality.

Polarbare1 · 2010-10-02T15:05:18+00:00

Yeah I feel this way a lot, but it wasn't until my 30s that I started to.

PonPeriPon · 2010-10-02T15:37:31+00:00

I'm a sexy man; I love watching girls get nervous when I pass. I don't doubt women want, and would enjoy, my man-loving, in most cases far more than I would enjoy theirs.

I still have plenty of residual problems from when I was a not so sexy man though. Thankfully I grew up in an open minded home, I was never told 'sex is evil!', so I've come to terms with who and what I am without too much struggle. I think, potentially, I may be a little too vain these days, but I'm pretty ok with that. If women can be stuck up bitches, so can I, and I can do it better.

2010-10-02T15:58:07+00:00

Ive probably felt proud of my sexuality less than ten times, wedding night, honeymoon, and a few other assorted experiences. Which seems to place me well ahead of the curve here, which is just incredibly depressing. I make sure my wife knows shes sexy, as often as possible, but this is not a two way street.

beautifullydepressed · 2010-10-02T19:19:30+00:00

I did last night

Lunagurl · 2010-10-02T22:14:43+00:00

This topic reminded me of one of the jackass guys saying: Why is it funny when guys are naked but sexy when girls are naked?

corpseflower · 2010-10-02T18:29:16+00:00

When it comes to sex, women have no fucking clue what they want. They say they do, but they just don't know. They don't know if they want the sweet saccharine disney experience. They don't know if they want the rough & tumble hard sex. It isn't that they are sending conflicting signals, it is that they don't know themselves.

So much like a wife will make the guy decide on dinner by shooting down idea after idea until she hears something acceptable - women take the shotgun approach to sex.

They want us to decide - to guess - and have it be the right guess, the answer that they don't know is right yet.

Women like to say there is no male equivalent to "slut". Oh YES there is - it is called "pervert" and men get called it a lot more than women get called sluts.

Arsinik · 2010-10-02T05:30:22+00:00

As a younger man I fought in bars or any other place that would present an opponent that I could physically dominate. Afterwards I would be the drunken champion or when I entered the next social group I would be [that guy] who did shit. I was a boy, raised by women, who needed to prove he was a man because my father was not around.

It took well over 30 years to understand that I don't need any of that. I am a man. I can weld, I can trouble shoot a V8, but I can also cook an amazing meal, I have a 3-part compost heap to help our environment, plus I actually do laundry.

My drop dead gorgeous wife is a testament that being the gym rat, fake tan, Jersey Shore cocksucker means nothing. You want to know what a woman wants? Cook for her, get out and make your lawn/yard plush, make your home decorations worth a shit, and then make sure she ranks higher than your favorite TV show or video game.

The end. You now have amazing pussy.

deeptimeswimmer · 2010-10-02T05:07:49+00:00

In the single-world, male sexuality is demonized to the point where even wanting sex makes you seem like an evil sexist pervert. But once you get into relationshipland, everything changes. Once you get into a relationship, women demand and expect regular sexing, multiple times a day. And they will go INSANE if they don't get plugged regularly. It's really frustrating.

apefist · 2010-10-02T13:08:18+00:00

I felt that way when I was young and skinny and singing in a rockroll band. Now, I accept that I'm not bad for my age and leave it at that. I look (by other's estimates) about 10 yrs younger than my actual age, so I consider myself fortunate.

enkidusfriend · 2010-10-02T14:43:06+00:00

Fine to feel that way.

Why is it something that anyone should "deserve"?

PeterArching · 2010-10-03T04:58:18+00:00

You straight guys that have never been sexually appreciated need to come over to the gay side of things. We'll appreciate you and you won't have to deal with the emotionally needy drama queen women that have made sex so miserable for you. Go gay and you probably won't ever go back. :)

acetv · 2010-10-02T10:06:10+00:00

I'm in college and what is this?

kachapati · 2010-10-02T08:38:56+00:00

Um, I think women, although not feeling "creepy," don't feel hot, either. They are told they are dirty.

Basically, our puritanical society tells both genders that they should be ashamed of sexuality, but for different reasons.

shadetreephilosopher · 2010-10-02T15:56:44+00:00

My favorite part was "Like everyone, men..." Why did they not say "Like women, men..." It's not like there's several genders out there to choose from. There's men, and there's women.

2010-10-02T17:18:00+00:00

Dude, just be sexual to girls NOT in your workplace.

Street stalking, so to speak.

Your failure is to believe what other people say or print. 90% of truth is horseshit.

2010-10-05T15:22:47+00:00

Personally I think it's a load of crap. If you mix societal opinions with the hard reality of evolutionary reproductive systems you're always going to be disappointed.

Men fuck because it's in their nature, and at the same time society is a retarded mixing bowl of opinions from species whose self awareness has outgrown their physical evolutionary traits, and the end result is confusion ie "why aren't we appreciated for having a penis/vagina ?" Well quite frankly you don't deserve appreciation because you're body is doing the job needed for survival of the species, even if you, or others, think otherwise.

TL;DR People with either a penis or vagina think they're smarter than the bodies they live in and then whine when they aren't appreciated for it.

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