How to handle your boyfriend following women on Instagram?

killakimmay · 2021-08-18T22:46:15+00:00

have you tried to communicate to your bf how this makes you feel?

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2021-08-18T22:02:43+00:00

You should bring it up to him. How he responds and handles the situation will determine if this is a red flag.

About a year after my current husband and I began dating, I noticed he followed a few hundred people with only about a hundred followers. When I looked through his following list, it was 99% women. Both models and local women. It was obvious to me (and he confirmed) that the profile was made when he was single and looking for women. I told him I had an issue with the amount of local women he was following on Instagram. After discussing it for ~30 minutes, he understood how I felt, realized he was unintentionally being hurtful, and deleted his profile (not what I wanted, but it was his decision to make).

If he loves you, is husband material, and envisions a future with you, he’ll understand that it’s not acceptable. Best of luck!

qclady · 2021-08-19T00:04:03+00:00

I have no idea who my husband follows on social media and I don’t care. I know his character and I trust him; I don’t have anything to be concerned about. If I did find out that he was following attractive women specifically to look at their pictures, I would not care.

You do you though, if it makes you feel uncomfortable talk to him about it. I would first though identify the feelings that you are having rather than just being uncomfortable. Are you jealous? Worried he’ll roam? Don’t answer those questions for me but I advise you to have them sorted out so that you can have a clear and honest conversation about them.

ledatherockband · 2021-08-19T05:50:42+00:00

He follows them because he wants to look at them.

The way you describe him, I doubt very much he’s trying to slide into the DMs.

FractalVisionary_ · 2021-08-19T20:44:50+00:00

This is the reason why I decided men who regularly use social media was a deal breaker for me when I was single.

I see countless women fretting over their men liking Insta-thot pictures and messaging models. I think habitual use of Instagram/Snapchat and the like says something negative about how a person spends their time and what they give their attention to ( kind of like how women take pictures of their food for likes).

I do not have the energy or desire to initiate a conversation about how perfectly executed makeup, lighting, and posturing works on top of how all that makes me feel uncomfortable when my partner is scrolling through that while hanging out right next to me. At least porn is private and more impersonal.

My boyfriend is on the anti-social media extreme ( he will be ditching his smart phone for a flip phone soon) but I appreciate that I've never had feel insecure about anything he's doing on his phone. The fact that I know he's not on any of these platforms definitely helps.

Historical-System-39 · 2021-08-19T04:20:07+00:00

I wouldn’t mention it, no need to create a problem where one doesn’t exist. Keep an eye out though and trust your instincts, if something feels off then mention it

areyoupunk · 2021-08-19T03:41:25+00:00

In my opinion, it’s not okay. I had my ex like this and it started an argument and we broke up because he refused to unfollowed his ex gf and other girls on Instagram

PhaedrusHunt · 2021-08-19T17:35:12+00:00

My boyfriend is 30 and before me (23) he never had a girlfriend or any sexual partner.

You have nothing to worry about. He's not the type to cheat.

I used to know a few married men that got Playboy subscriptions. I would think that's worse-- still not a big deal imo, men are just visual creatures.

I would let it go unless it really keeps bugging you.

bitter-funny · 2021-08-19T18:18:22+00:00

If it bothers you, tell him. Resentment will build if you don’t say anything. My husband unfollowed anybody I was uncomfortable with. It shouldn’t matter to him if he cares about you.

purple_pansy88 · 2021-08-20T16:07:33+00:00

I agree that this is distateful. Especially on your main account that your partner and everyone else can see. I would ask that he at least kept this separate from his main account and that he doesn't embarrass you like this.

If you ask him to stop he might stop or look at these images in secret. This is a possibility that you will have to live with if you want to stay with him. Most men unfortunately look at images of women online and even some degree of pornography. It's not something I or most women particularly like or want to live with but it's reality. If you manage to find a man who doesn't do those things 95% of women will envy you.

I have told my husband that I just don't want to know and I don't want anything he consumes online to effect me in any possible way.

Jalapeno_Jesus · 2021-08-18T21:46:28+00:00

I can understand your concern and hope you can find a good resolution. Did he share with you all this Instagram activity, showing you the women he's following, that he's not liking them, like where did all that knowledge come from, specifically did he disclose this to you or did you oversee some activity and began questioning it? When you say socially awkward, with him being 30, do you attribute that to some medical issue(s) that he may need investigating or general lack of social skills / social activities, or what really? The combination of socially-awkward and typical male-thirst behavior on social media seems more red than green, and I really hope you can communicate and resolve before committing for life with kids.

sawatdeeman · 2021-08-19T01:10:39+00:00

You are over thinking. As a guy, I follow many celebrities, women, etc in general. It doesnt mean anything. Nothing to be concerned about.

tamara090909 · 2021-08-18T22:06:15+00:00

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sawatdeeman · 2021-08-19T00:40:08+00:00

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JadedByEntropy · 2021-08-18T22:18:23+00:00

Do you follow any males on social media?

tamara090909 · 2021-08-19T04:01:08+00:00

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Scoobyginger25 · 2021-08-18T22:36:05+00:00

Guys are very visual creatures and he could be looking at a lot worse online. Personally I don’t think it’s the end of the world as he seems to just be looking and not communicating with any of these women.

sawatdeeman · 2021-08-19T02:09:16+00:00

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abacabbmk · 2021-08-18T23:06:35+00:00

At worst its fap material. No biggie.

tamara090909 · 2021-08-19T02:26:23+00:00

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r2401 · 2021-08-19T02:46:53+00:00

He's sexually attracted to them and enjoys looking at them.

eatapeach18 · 2021-08-19T04:50:56+00:00

Sorry, but you don’t sound very honest. You claim you have social media and don’t follow anyone except your university… sure, Jan 🙄

And you and your boyfriend don’t follow each other? Why? Why are you being so secretive? Why have an anonymous account? What are you hiding? How do you know who your boyfriend follows if you don’t follow each other? Sounds to me like you’re spying on him. At least your boyfriend is transparent about his social media accounts and who he follows.

I follow models, actors, athletes and other celebrities too and there’s nothing wrong with that. I also follow friends and old classmates. Are you saying you don’t want your boyfriend to follow ANY females? No cousins, friends, classmates, nothing??

Title	How to handle your boyfriend following women on Instagram?
Author	tamara090909
Upvotes	25
Comments	102
Date	August 18, 2021 9:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/p70jkl/how_to_handle_your_boyfriend_following_women_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-handle-your-boyfriend-following-women-on.1057978 https://theredarchive.com/post/1057978

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