r/AskMen laments about the fact that society doesn't care about men

HarmonicUnion · 2020-06-26T17:59:34+00:00

The reason they don't talk about it even with their friends is a combination of three factors.

Men are naturally averse to opening up.
Nobody teaches men how to open up in a way they will actually want to.
Nobody teaches men how to support their friends in in a way that actually helps.

We keep telling men to put down everything else, sit down, open up, make eye contact, talk about their emotions, cry it out, etc. However, these are predominantly ways that women open up.

Not that there aren't men who open up like that, I do it myself sometimes and there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you want, but in terms of majorities and averages, that method is preferred by women and not men.

Very few people actually sit down and look at how men process emotions, because there is already an assumption that they're not doing it right.

If you want your friends to be able to open up to you, you should first look into what that looks like.

Tom Golden is great on this topic.

Oncefa2 · 2020-06-26T17:41:05+00:00

A couple comments...

The sole value that men have in this world is what they can provide, and having a problem means that you have a weakness in your ability to provide. Therefore, having problems reduces your value as a person. Of course men don’t want to talk about that.

u/meatman222

Men's problems are just funny or unimportant to society at large.

u/Dloms45

Because far too often the reply is “Man up” or “aww who hurt you?”

u/panzerman88

Xemnas81 · 2020-06-26T21:14:53+00:00

Add to the below, and the usual complaint that women find male vulnerability unattractive (hence emotional labour) the following:

Feminists have a love-hate relationship with 'male homosocial bonding'. They don't want men dumping their problems on them, they resent that aspect of men's liberation. But many of them don't trust men to meet up, as that takes away some of their power and could lead to strengthening patriarchy. The result is that they either block, or co-opt, suggestions for male spaces e.g. the men's sheds-which aren't even MRA affiliated!

I try not to think of this in the adversarial terms of the male v female imperative anymore, but that is unfortunately in play a little.

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2020-06-27T02:18:48+00:00

/u/JackieNaper1907

Read through these.

Take note of all the men talking about how girlfriends left them or how women dismiss their issues or even treat them with scorn or derision when they express their emotions or vulnerability.

How is it that "masculinity" is the problem here?

bkrugby78 · 2020-06-26T22:19:31+00:00

It's a very good thread and I am glad as a member there, that it's usually a very good sub for discussing male issues.

My issue is not that I don't want to open up, but I have no one to open up too. My best friend, who I could open up to, lives 4 hours north of me. Which during normal times, wouldn't be an issue, but due to the pandemic, it's weighing on me heavily, exacerbated by the fact that I can't leave because I live in NYC and may be a carrier. So I feel trapped most of the time, and sure I could workout for an hour to take my mind off of it, but the problems are all still there.

OkLetterhead9 · 2020-06-26T20:08:53+00:00

Society doesn't care about men ? what about men do they care about men ?

How many men create associations to help other men ? how many men protest against domestic violence against men like feminists do ? or against discrimination ?

I think we should stop blaming the society and start by naming the real problem: male apathy.

Title	r/AskMen laments about the fact that society doesn't care about men
Author	Oncefa2
Upvotes	73
Comments	67
Date	June 26, 2020 5:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/hgbzzm/raskmen_laments_about_the_fact_that_society/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/raskmen-laments-about-the-fact-that-society-doesnt.1063239 https://theredarchive.com/post/1063239

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