Difference I Notice in Women Oriented Podcasts

Aocwannabe · 2021-11-03T10:51:49+00:00

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I like most of her stuff but sometimes it gives me a “faux empowerment” vibe. I’m also wary of social media couples who uphold their relationships as goals- that is a very delicate dance.

And it’s low level gaslighting when they deny that sometimes finding the right partner is about luck vs “limiting beliefs”.🤢

europoor24 · 2021-11-03T12:07:54+00:00

I've noticed this as well. I believe this ties back into how we're socialized, as a whole women are socialized without these skills which is why as adults we're often playing catch up with men who've built these basic skills since childhood.

hotnbotheredd · 2021-11-03T13:02:14+00:00

Absolutely!! Why should our energy be wasted on mental gymnastics and likability? Being likable and well-received caters to men, the entire mindset of “how to set boundaries without coming off as too harsh,” is too damn time consuming and is the actual definition of people pleasing. If we’re too busy people pleasing, we’ll never achieve our goals. Getting certifications, degrees, work experience, working on our soft skills, understanding finances and investing, those are things that will help us level up in life, not being a people pleaser.

On another note, I think men should take some notes from women and learn how to be sensible, speak to people in a kinder tone, learn good manners and social skills, emotional regulation, etc etc, and etc. 🤷🏻‍♀️ they have a lot more to work on in those departments than women.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-11-03T13:16:26+00:00

Men don’t have that problem because their boundaries are usually respected. They are just handed credibility and the benefit of the doubt. No matter how tactless or emotional they get, they’re seen as logical and justified.

Reframe: How to set boundaries, while men are constantly pushing your boundaries, without setting off men’s fragile egos? Not gonna happen. But we are constantly contorting ourselves, bending over backwards to find just the right way to say it. As if there is some perfect balance that’ll crack the code. We swallow the lie that it’s our problem to solve, it’s not. The problem is the double standard, the double bind. The problem is misogyny. Men don’t have to waste their energy on it because men are not an oppressed class. They’re not better than us. They don’t have better priorities, they’re not better at business, etc. They’re not “on a higher action oriented mental plane”. They’re just more privileged.

It’s not “low level thinking” that leaves us poor and steals our mental energy. It’s misogyny. Misogyny relegates us to lower pay. Misogyny makes it harder for us to advance in the workplace. Misogyny makes it harder for us to have our ideas and skills recognized. Misogyny steals our labor. Misogyny puts extra work on us, including these “soft skill” contortions that get us nowhere and keep us blind to the root cause of the problem. This is not something you can just decide to opt out of, there is no option not to play the game. The game is rigged. Respond accordingly.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-03T14:36:25+00:00

“How to set boundaries and not feel like a B**ch” Stop. STOP IT. Women aren’t (under derogatory word) EVER for setting boundaries!!! Women need these protections because we are the weaker sex (physically, not mentally) But other than that pet peeve I TOTALLY agree with you. Women need a balance of things, THATS why I’ve always felt so lost because I never learned “hard skills”. I think it’s because women are just conditioned to seek things out when men are taught stuff right out of the gate. IDK about you but my Dad never taught me how to use a power drill or to do anything. He just told me to “lighten up”. (sigh)

Strict_Leopard1707 · 2021-11-03T17:41:10+00:00

“it shows me men are focused on moving forward in measurable ways- increasing fitness- mental and physical, raising their net worth etc”

I agree with a lot of what you've said but I think this is very unfair. To me, it shows that there are very real barriers women have to overcome that men don't. Men don't worry about the consequences of setting boundaries or standing up for themselves because they typically don't face any. Women do face consequences if they don't do it exactly the right way, especially in the workplace.

I really hate the fact that women are discouraged from focusing on more tangible aspects of success, especially finance, and are considered greedy if they admit to wanting to build wealth. But those soft skills are things that help them get there, and I don't think any emphasis should be taken off them. Rather I think women should also be encouraged to focus on the end goals too. I wish those extra barriers didn't exist but for most women they do and learning how to navigate them without harming yourself in the process is important. We are not yet at the point where we can just act like men and universally be accepted for it.

dianaprince76 · 2021-11-03T11:34:51+00:00

Yes! You are so right. I’ve not heard these particular podcasts, but you can see the same thing everywhere you turn. I find a lot of media targeted to women is very condescending, as an example I just looked at comparable fitness websites run by a major media company just now, the homepage for the women’s version features a small amount of fitness info, but lots of beauty, horoscopes etc. The men’s is very focused on actual fitness, and they tell readers “no excuses. Get smarter, stronger, better”. I feel more aligned with this mentality.

The other thing I noticed is that when women become successful, media (major media outlets and social media) tend to publish content that focuses on the barriers that the successful female overcame to become successful vs the fact that she’s smart, works hard etc the way they do with men. It’s almost assumed that a woman can’t just be successful because of their talent. This reinforces that there are barriers to overcome, even when for a lot of women, the biggest barriers exist in their minds.

AceFaceXena · 2021-11-03T13:09:18+00:00

Seeing the comments below, I hesitate to comment. However, I will say that I've been involved in primarily male-dominated work for 80% of my working life. The only time I wasn't doing a job or in a career field primarily dominated by men was as a college teacher. "Professor" there ya go. And in higher ed, I would say that the instructor pool is about half and half. More female students attend and graduate now than when I started - that's a big trend. I'm on my third startup now and I have a bigger team and it is going better than the other two, one of which cost me my house and finances. So take that for what it's worth. The reality of what goes on is very different from any article or podcast or YouTube.

I was like "Why is her flair Pickmeisha?" Welp - quit watching those You Tubes by influencers, for one. They are meant to keep you watching so the "creators" get paid their pennies per view. If you moved forward, you wouldn't be interested any more and they would lose their money.

You should give up your fear and seek doing what you are best at and enjoy the most. I'm thinking from what I see below you are involved in the legal profession. It's not exactly on the "upswing" right now due to decades of deterioration and corruption. Same is true of academia. And investing/private equity. We are in a bad state in general right now and the scrotiness is one of the biggest root causes closely followed by Pickmeishas who enable them.

ultblue7 · 2021-11-03T15:40:00+00:00

Huge fan of both podcasts here. Im gonna say I disagree/have a different perspective regarding this topic.

I will not lie, I had the same impression when I first started listening to both but then I realized that I was viewing it from a male sort of viewpoint. Yes, Tom tends to have different types of conversations and talk to male entrepreneurs alot about skills and pushing yourself. Its very individualistic and can come off as more useful.

However, the women on Lisa’s podcast are just as accomplished and they have this added dimension of emotional understanding, community considerations, and sometimes even childrearing finesse in addition to what they have accomplished. To me, its actually a more complex topic than just “push yourself, don’t give up, and have a growth mindset.”

Additionally, as someone with a background in science, Ive also realized that Tom’s seemingly topic heavy discussions are actually very surface level discussions. At least for the scientists. I’m not saying they aren’t enjoyable or great introductions into potentially interesting people and fields. I just think the topics he chooses are given more credit but in actuality they are not more complicated or more useful than Lisa’s. At least to me.

Just my two cents. It could also be that I am more drawn to Lisa’s work because I am sorely lacking female advice and life coaching in my own community. I feel like its something much harder to find than a successful male entrepreneur saying he did it all and to just focus on yourself and conquer your fears. That advice only gets me so far and my struggles are more complex and my motivations more community based.

merseyway · 2021-11-03T13:14:06+00:00

You might like The Financial Diet on youtube. It's geared towards women and has proper advice on how to get ahead financially (though compared to the guys ones, it probably still treads water, but still an enjoyable watch).

This is an immensely useful post. I've been wondering for a while what a woman's magazine might be like if it was actually for women and not a tool of brainwashing us into a submissive gender role or 2/3 perfume adverts. It's why I like looking at conrent geared towards guys sometimes; you get the no bullshit version of what you're after.

So basically, the recipe is "what the guys are having" but for women 😄

aurelia_86 · 2021-11-03T11:07:24+00:00

Yes. It's like a subtler version of the olden days where men's career advice was about how to win a promotion while women's was about how to dress for the office.

I think part of it just reflects that women are still grappling with so much bullsh*t in their working lives and being taken for granted and disrespected that it's relevant and necessary information for women. While men can focus on getting ahead and achieving their goals because they aren't having to contend with the patriarchy literally every day of their lives.

I also wish there was more out there for women to teach them to aspire to and attain bigger things for themselves: a good net worth, a fat share portfolio, a corner office, whatever. I agree with you that we're conditioned to not think as much about these things - perhaps because it's 'selfish' for a woman to want things for herself, or 'unfeminine' for a woman to be unapologetically ambitious. It's another way the patriarchy keeps us down.

I think we need both. Perhaps the "How to handle disrespect and set boundaries as you blaze your way to the corner office and save up a fat wad of cash for retirement" podcast.

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-11-03T14:19:50+00:00

I really liked her interview with Roxie and then with Evy Pompourous (the FBI agent) - she focused on how to hold true to yourself when people try to push you around, and how to read people to tell their motives. But then I saw a second episode about Evy and it was... The same interview?

I like some of her stuff but Lisa always attributes her success to her husband and how good of a team they make? Where other women will say, yes their husband (if they have one) is supportive Lisa always brings up a guests husband? And lots of the women she interviews aren't well known but their husbands are???

Honestly,I learned more from secrets of six figure women than I did from any of Lisa's interviews. They're just and elaborated Facebook post -some of the guests genuinely have good info, but you only get it if you follow up with their book.

honestlyidkfr · 2021-11-04T01:35:04+00:00

Going against the grain here but at lot of these male-oriented podcasts don’t really teach them solid skills but sell them a fantasy that they, too, can get rich by buying $2k in bitcoin, or convince them that they can become a multi-million CEO overnight. While I agree that a lot of these soft-skill podcasts geared towards women can be a little fru fru, the flip side is not that good. And men that indulge in that sort of stuff tend to be NVM because they’re always living in this fantasy that their NFT will be the next multi-million dollar seller and other “get rich quick” junk. If anyone can get ahead that much by listening to a podcast we’d all be rich.

blackmetalbetty · 2021-11-03T22:09:28+00:00

Men are raised up to play offense, women to play defense. They're constantly attacking and pursuing new opportunities and chances to prove themselves capable, whereas women need to keep their safety in the back of their heads even when they're attending the same events or pursuing the same opportunities. A dude in Hollywood just needs to forge his way as a renown, in demand actor. A woman attempting the same feat has to also dodge (play defense) disgusting faux ~~ambushes~~ meetings by guys like Weinstein and fend off a whole nother slew of contemptuous treatments by people who never fully intend to pay/respect/celebrate you as they would a man. It sucks that as women you have to waste half your time and breath solidifying and driving home your "NOs" and the other half actually trying to show the world the feats of which you're capable. :/

seraphinelysion · 2021-11-03T13:06:39+00:00

This is an interesting perspective that never once crossed my mind as I watch the two of them on YT on and off. I think Lisa covers different topics on her show that are not covered by Tom. If her show were to do the same topics as her husband's show but with a "female twist" to it, it would just be seen as dumbed down imitation. Something like where she couldn't come up with anything of her own and just talks about the same things Tom has already covered. That's my take on it anyway. These topics might be of interest to her. Or these are topics that she knows will resonate with her female audience. If you want financial/motivational advice or topics, just watch Tom's show and take what you want and discard the rest. The fact that it's two men speaking on a particular topic shouldn't deter you from the information given. The same goes for Lisa's show. I think men could watch her show to learn more soft skills that are not covered on Tom's show.

But I do hear you on the general idea that shows by women often cover different topics than men's shows. What you have to understand is that they do this for money, so they will pander to their audience in any way possible to get that $$$.

jijitsu-princess · 2021-11-03T13:17:39+00:00

I listen to a number of podcasts by men and women. Much of them have information on topics I am interested in. My most recent podcast binge is of course FDS but also Dr Huberman.

I will consider myself healed from the past pickmesha and cool girl disorders when most of my time is spent learning a new skill, language and furthering my education. FDS and other empowerment podcasts will be listened to weekly as a reminder to maintain my path towards a goal of emotional, financial and physical independence as well as enjoying life.

sherbearie · 2021-11-04T12:28:53+00:00

I have to disagree with this view point in that you can’t really step up in life if you’re not confident and well kn your shoes first, which women lacked to due to our socialization to being agreeable. Sure, we could definitely use more straight forward and pragmatic life hacks, investments for women etc. But the two go in hands, if you do not know how to set boundaries, it’s going to be hard to say know to a manager who is for instance constantly asking you to work unpaid overtime, to step up your game and ask for a raise.

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