Sick of the gender roles in fashion / beauty

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-25T11:19:09+00:00

No rants

alialahmad1997 · 2021-10-24T16:42:12+00:00

Most women don't like guys who wear make up so its not an attractive trait

Most men like women to wear make up so its an attractive trait

You need to be attractive so your genedder fantasize about being you and the other gender fantasize about being with you Its a marketing thing

KarmaChameleonian · 2021-10-24T18:09:18+00:00

There is a lot of dishonesty in this post that needs to be unpacked....

It baffles me that every straight couple has a long haired woman (who wears make up regularly) and a short haired man (who doesn't wear make up), and no one talks about how weird it is

Is it the hair that's weird or the make up? Anyways, yes men like women with long hair. It comes off as more feminine. Feminine woman = good. I'm glad we established that. When you get into more alternative circles you start to see women with shorter hair, who are paired up with men that are cool with it. Yes, most men have long hair but men with long hair can do well for themselves if they look good and take care of their hair. I see it all the time, it's not an issue.

When a woman wants to "glow up", she's told to wear make up, get a haircut + color to match her face shape and skin tone, and to dress in a way that hides everything that doesn't fit the current (arbitrary) beauty standard... and the list goes on. When a man wants to "glow up" on the other hand, he's told to take a shower, cut their hair short, and wear clothes that fit. Why is the bar so low for men

Women are told to "glow up" mentally. That means putting yourself first, never settling, and all this vague nonsense. If you're a fat woman, you're told that you don't need to change for anyone and that you should find a man that likes you for you. Tell a woman to lose weight and hit the gym in order to find a man and watch how women will start dogpiling. Look on dating subs and whatnot and you'll see men are told to get fit, get nice clothes, a haircut, a hobby, a job, get social skills, etc. Why aren't men told to find a woman that likes him for him? I'll wait.

Why do women need to do their nails, wear make up, do their hair, and buy a new dress for every party

Uuuhhh, men don't tell women to do that. Women do that. Women are the biggest consumers and love buying more and more clothes. That's why when you go to a department store there are 3 floors for women and half a floor for men. That's why Shein and Fashion Nova are worth so much, because women can't go one day without buying a $50 dress that costs $9 to make. Stop blaming us.

The men only need to take a shower and wear the same suit every time.

Because we're minimalist and practical. I have 1 navy suit (the best color for any occasion) and different color dress shirts and dress pants. I cross-match them and boom, you have an ensemble. Get on our level.

I'm aware that no one is FORCED to follow these gender roles. But what are the odds that so few people experiment outside of their gender

Most people are not interested in gender-bending or whatever you're implying, and most women are certainly not interested in being seen as men because they'd have to give up all the little perks they get.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-10-24T17:44:06+00:00

no one talks about how weird it is because it's literally perfectly normal

Ohms2North · 2021-10-24T20:11:30+00:00

I’m sick of gender roles that dictate that men have to study for years and then work for decades to build a career and attain wealth and status and go to the gym regularly to lift heavy shit and be over six foot tall to attract a woman while also being expected to jump in front of danger to protect her. A woman only has to put on some makeup and show cleavage and she is deemed valuable.

Hoopy223 · 2021-10-24T15:14:17+00:00

What the hell did I just read lol.

The bar isn’t low for men. Maybe if the guy is already fit and naturally handsome.

Wear the same clothes lol yeah no that doesn’t work either.

Honestly I don’t know what to say, too much wtf for a Sunday morning.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-10-24T15:31:50+00:00

I definitely agree with you that gender roles suck. But that's not all straight couples, my boyfriend has long hair, and the last time I wore makeup was probably for a middle school play years ago. Most straight couples do fit the gender role description but I think people outside the norm are becoming progressively less rare especially amongst young people.

LillthOfBabylon · 2021-10-24T17:24:46+00:00

For the longest time women's main goal was to look pretty for her future breadwinning husband. Now, women just do it because it's either expected of them from family or because it's pretty. Men only needed to worry about making enough money to be an appealing husband.

But what are the odds that so few people experiment outside of their gender if they don't feel so held back by social norms.

I don't mind people who break gender norms. The issue is they're typically attention whores and are unhinged.

I don't wear makeup, don't shave, don't wear fancy stuff, but I also don't go around expect attention for being different. I believe what I'm describing is "I'm not like other girls" and "Special Snowflake" syndrome.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-24T16:10:01+00:00

You're free to do what you want and look however you like but most people are programmed to uphold social norms and have already centered their identity around the way they look, so you probably won't be compatible with those people who are also looking for someone conventional.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-10-24T18:01:11+00:00

Men are free to have an extensive wardrobe or contemporary haircut if they want to. I don't fit the boring man stereotype. I think the issue is that beauty is much more central to a woman's value in society than it is for men. For men, productivity, industriousness, and provision are traditionally viewed as a man's central measure of value.

BioStu · 2021-10-24T20:50:27+00:00

No man gives a shit about your nails. No man gives a shit about your hair style. And definitely no man gives a shit about what dress you’re wearing. We care about your face and we care about your body. A hot woman is hot no matter what she has on. She can have full princess hair, a ponytail, a bun, or bed head. She’s hot no matter what. She can literally wear a used garbage bag and we can tell she’s got a hot body under there. Conversely an unattractive woman can spend hundreds at nail salons and at the hair dresser, and always wear the latest in high fashion, and we still think she’s unattractive. Face and body is what we look at.

wtknight · 2021-10-24T15:31:32+00:00

It's because women are mostly valued for their looks by men. Women compete with each other in status by showing that they have the looks necessary to attract a high value man. Since men are judged by women by other factors than looks, such as their ability to procure resources, looks are not considered as essential if men are able to show that they have value in other ways.

So ultimately, blame men for women's high looks standards. They are free to not concentrate so much on their looks, and many women don't, but not concentrating on looks means that these women are more likely to be single or with low value men, and this decreases women's status among their female social groups.

Excellent_Jelly_7095 · 2021-10-24T15:43:01+00:00

When a man wants to "glow up" on the other hand, he's told to take a shower, cut their hair short, and wear clothes that fit. Why is the bar so low for men?

You mistake apathetic hand waving for actual advice. That's what he's told, that's not what works. Do you really think all of the millions of lonely men could get sex or girlfriends if they just take a shower and cut their hair?

This is more demonstrative of how out of touch you are with men's existence.

violatemyeyesocket · 2021-10-24T16:52:09+00:00

I'm aware that no one is FORCED to follow these gender roles. But what are the odds that so few people experiment outside of their gender if they don't feel so held back by social norms.

They aren't few at all, they're just few in the world you live in.

When I studied mathematics and then worked as a progammer males with long hair were super common and pretty much no individual whatever the sex wore makeup—this strict observance for traditions is only common in some branches.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-10-24T16:26:37+00:00

Men have their own grooming standards that women are blind to

Barbers catering to millennial and Gen Z men have been growing market share
Similarly, cosmetic procedures among men have been increasing at rates that outpace growth among women
Male spa services are also increasing - waxing and facials, especially
Hitting the gym and getting in shape is often suggested to men
Hair restoration, PEDs, T replacement, etc

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-10-24T16:28:46+00:00

I just wished there was more room for self expression for men

You mean like hitting the gym? You know, something that actually requires you to put in hard work instead of splurging at Holt Renfrew?

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-24T16:44:23+00:00

Cause men are the better looking of the sexes so we don't need all this stuff.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-10-24T15:34:19+00:00

Culture is a complex thing. It is rarely entirely arbitrary, representing instead complex reactions to complex environmental and genetic factors. But of course there can be more than one reaction to said factors--different cultures can have different responses. But that is different than saying any response to a given set of environmental and biological influences is equally adaptive.

Men and women are different. There are always going to be gender roles. There probably always should be gendered behavior. The question is always how gendered and what types of behavior.

Funny thing is, you should see the responses we get if we suggest that women should not wear as much make up or accessorize as aggressively.

At any rate, cultures have to balance between providing guidance and norms for the typical, and not excessively hindering the happiness of the atypical. But it is normal and even needed for the atypical to face some obstacles in being and acting how they feel they need to. I don't think these hurdles are really too high today; if anything, they might be too low.

Now, cultural norms can change. I personally would like to see less attention paid to maximizing the sexual allure of our appearance from both genders. I'd aim at a modest amount of effort aimed more at health and a generally pleasing aesthetic. So less attempt to express oneself through fashion. Moisturize and keep your skin healthy, but no need for makeup and tight fitting, flashy clothing. No need for long hair for men. No nails or eyelashes done. But heh, that's me.

flowerwoven · 2021-10-24T17:41:21+00:00

As someone who is pro-long hair on men and anti-makeup, there are objective reasons why makeup and long hair is for women. Short answers: Hair is a sign of health and health is more important for the person who will be carrying the baby. Long hair shows years of good health because once hair is grown out, it's done. If you grow out sickly hair, you're stuck with it until you cut it off. Every culture in the world has had different hairstyles for men and women. There are very few where men had longer hair than women, but they are ALL different based on gender. There's nothing wrong with this. And makeup is designed for female fertility. Pretty simple. It would not look attractive on males because they are designed to be markers of female fertility. For example red lips on a male is actually not a sign of health or fertility. The redder a man's lips are, the less attractive he gets rated in studies. Ideally they'd be a normal lip pink color without being overly red.

So the solution is ban makeup and popularize long hair on men (but not as long as women's).

They_Call_Me_Toon · 2021-10-24T18:51:53+00:00

Not every woman grows their hair out long and yeah as a dude why should i care about wearing makeup. Thats oneof the benefits we have

ChocolateSharp · 2021-10-24T15:37:30+00:00

Tell me you want to date a pretty boy without telling me you want to date a pretty boy.

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lifeofbrittany · 2021-10-24T16:42:56+00:00

lol what

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-24T18:28:43+00:00

Sounds like you’d enjoy to cross dress. It’s very common, you may enjoy it

Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-10-24T19:05:31+00:00

She doesn’t have to glow up that hard and for both it’s really just

Hit the gym. Wear good cloths. That’s it

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-10-24T19:07:36+00:00

Sure, men have a low bar, but there is a prerequisite to that bar:

Being attractive.

If you're ugly, there is no bar to cross.

Megabyte7637 · 2021-10-24T20:14:34+00:00

Idc tbh

midwestufohunter · 2021-10-24T20:20:44+00:00

Not every couple and you can do whatever you want.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-10-24T21:07:47+00:00

i'm still wondering, what's so weird....

the bar is not low for men....you forgot, overhaul wardrobe and hit the gym, have money, etc

DuncanIdaho88 · 2021-10-24T22:13:46+00:00

Why do men need to be physically fit, while women don't need to? What takes more time and effort — putting on makeup or exercising?

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-10-25T08:02:15+00:00

- shrug -

It should be pretty clear why this is. Men are more visual than women. Therefore, the visual bar of beauty is higher on women, and the productive/financial bar is higher on men. Each sex determines the hoops the other has to jump through, and women have (collectively) decided that they like strong, productive men, and men have decided that they like beautiful women. A number of the topics here can be boiled down to this.

NockerJoe · 2021-10-24T15:12:04+00:00

Because most men like long haired women and most women like short haired men.

Personally I never cared if a woman doesn't do all of that and my hair is longer right now than the last person I dated but I still recognize that it juar is what it is.

ToughAnswers · 2021-10-24T15:27:12+00:00

Why is it like this?

Make up makes the woman look like she is in heat (flushed cheeks, prominent eyes, etc), thereby allowing women to leverage their appearance. If it didn't work, they probably wouldn't do it.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-10-24T16:45:52+00:00

When a woman wants to "glow up", she's told to wear make up, get a haircut + color to match her face shape and skin tone, and to dress in a way that hides everything that doesn't fit the current (arbitrary) beauty standard... and the list goes on. When a man wants to "glow up" on the other hand, he's told to take a shower, cut their hair short, and wear clothes that fit. Why is the bar so low for men?

That's a bluepill for women. An average woman trying to "glow up" looks tryhard and cringe. Stacies can afford to dress down and will still have all the men drooling over them.

Why do women need to do their nails, wear make up, do their hair, and buy a new dress for every party. The men only need to take a shower and wear the same suit every time. I just wished there was more room for self expression for men and less obligation to dress up for women.

It's a throwback to an earlier era where people had sex in the dark so it didn't matter what women looked like naked. Now you gotta look hot in 4k with three softboxes around you. It's over for girls who are not bodymaxxed.

Title	Sick of the gender roles in fashion / beauty
Author	monisaurus
Upvotes	0
Comments	77
Date	October 24, 2021 3:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qetv8g/sick_of_the_gender_roles_in_fashion_beauty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sick-of-the-gender-roles-in-fashion-beauty.1082087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082087

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