This is something that I definitely ignored all through my twenties stuck in dead end relationships.

Yes - there’s a natural period of time while dating someone that you’re still getting to know each other and see if you’re compatible for the long haul.

No - this period of time isn’t years. In my case, it was approximately 7 years. 7 years of being with a LVM who strung me along with the promises of marriage that never happened. 7 years of losing my sanity day by day for a man who didn’t want to get his shit together. This is partially due to my lack of self esteem in that period of my life, but also societal conditioning.

A man will know extremely quickly if he sees himself having a future with you/getting married to you. I’ve heard stories of men knowing within months, that the person that they met is going to be their future wife. These men also don’t drag their feet about marriage and commitment because they know how valuable these women are and don’t want them to slip away.

Society has told us not to “rush into anything”. Fair, I agree with that. But come on, don’t you think slightly over a year to 2 years is enough time to make a decision?

Men love to waste our time. They know our time is precious and youth is fleeting. Men also buy into the trope that we “hit the wall” at 30 and become undesirable, while their scrote-asses become MORE desirable as they age.

From now on, always remind yourself that time is precious. Invest your time in things and people with positive returns. Men will waste your time and waste it some more.

From now on, I refuse to commit to anyone unless they’re all in on me and consistently show HV behaviour. I also won’t subject myself to staying in a dead end situation for the sake of men’s poor feefees and indecisiveness. I won’t feel guilty for breaking things off close to the year mark if there’s no progress.

You should do the same too.