Is it cool to talk about women with your husband?

KombuchaEnema · 2021-11-21T21:18:41+00:00

They sound like “cool girls.”

As in, “oh I’m one of the cool girls who talks to my husband about hot women.”

It’s another strategy women use to compete with one another. Who’s the coolest girl?

At the end of the day, would your fiancé feel comfortable talking to you about all the guys you find hot? No?

Then there’s no reason you need to do the same with him.

Security = standing up for yourself and your boundaries.

Insecurity = doing things that make you uncomfortable to gain validation from others.

Kay_Lore · 2021-11-21T21:11:35+00:00

I wouldn’t. He chose you as his fiancée for a reason. I feel like if my guy constantly pointed out women he found attractive I would just compare myself to them all the time. It’s not wrong to be attracted to other people but do you really want to know what he’s thinking about these other beautiful women?

anothergoodbook · 2021-11-21T22:03:31+00:00

My husband has zero interest in this type of conversation. He thinks it pretty shallow and would just feed insecurities on my part.

He chose you. You’re his type.

uniq0rn_qlitter · 2021-11-21T22:10:17+00:00

Obviously my husband finds other girls attractive because they probably are but I don’t want to know about it. He can keep it to himself or with his boys. As long as he is faithful the less I know the better.

DelicateFlower14 · 2021-11-21T21:24:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Anonymous_fiend · 2021-11-22T00:35:56+00:00

Yeah no...doing this will cause a lot of unnecessary insecurity. I'm really suprised your married friends said that. I wonder how their marriages are. You don't need to be a "cool" wife. He chose to want to marry you just how you are now. By doing that you're sexualizing other women. And encouraging him to view women that way. It's gonna be a pass from me.

CountTheBees · 2021-11-22T00:53:43+00:00

Every woman alive has had some time where she was insecure about her looks. This type of comparison is more likely to make the insecurity worse rather than better. They're trying to force you to prove that you are not insecure about your looks by convincing you to do something that is likely to make you insecure. It's madness.

cbunni666 · 2021-11-22T00:44:23+00:00

Odd friends. I don't know any girl that's cool about talking of other women to their man like that.

_player_0 · 2021-11-22T00:51:28+00:00

Sounds like they're imposing their ways of thinking on you. It also sounds like they're looking to use you and your significant other as entertainment.

sinisterforces · 2021-11-22T04:34:20+00:00

No, this is directly against your interests as a woman. Men would ideally avoid commitment and have many women, and have low standards for sex. Women want to secure the best man all for themselves, and will refuse other men, and then keep him away from other women. This "cool girl" behaviour is a phasade of progressiveness all in favour of men, it is akin to how feminism has been used to asure men commitment free sex, whereas women are left with the short end of the stick. Not in your own interest.

2021-11-22T01:48:06+00:00

They want to start trouble don’t listen to them. I wouldn’t trust them don’t be a fool.

savtaytex · 2021-11-22T02:09:43+00:00

The only few times I have ever ever done something like that is when a person crosses our paths and is either stunningly beautiful or unique. It’s never omg babe isn’t she hot. It’s like oh wow did you see that human they are beautiful. Or they have the best hair etc. like commenting on great clouds or art. But never omg she’s so hot. Ewww.

2021-11-22T14:00:43+00:00

They sound like “pick me” girls. I’ve been married 11 years. In time we could make comments that don’t offend each other and now we do it all the time. Example: There was a person in a T.V. Show we were watching and I jokingly said “If she doesn’t marry him, I will!” He makes comments about women and I make comments about men and women on tv. That said we don’t pick out people in our personal lives -that’s weird. In the beginning though we didn’t make those comments since the relationship was new and we didn’t want each other to feel threatened. You’re not crazy or an outlier here. You just need to have time to trust your partner.

sinisterforces · 2021-11-21T23:50:28+00:00

Eh, I'm super jelous. I wouldn't want to know, and I honestly speaking have some personal issues bordering on mental health issues. I think I'm medium attractive, and while that means that I don't fear not being attractive *enough*, to me it's stressful that there are many many other women that a future man will find more attractive? Heck, even if there is one only woman that he looks at. I really want to feel special, not like I'm something a person settled for while actually thinking of other people. I'm not crazy or so, I know this is irrational. But yeah, don't let them gaslight you. If you aren't jelous the guy will think you are indifferent.

TheBunk_TB · 2021-11-22T09:30:14+00:00

What does the other women get out of that conversation? It sounds like they are seeding poison in the field

Insecurity? Not always Jealous? Not specifically but certain people are guarded against a possibility of drama/issues

That type of convo isn’t for everyone.

blueberrypanda1 · 2021-11-22T11:13:09+00:00

Your friends are giving you bad advice. Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard, and what I stick to is, “be very careful who you take advice from.”

oldskoolflavor · 2021-11-22T18:26:11+00:00

Don't considerate everything that comes out of your "friends" mouths. They sound immature af and trying to be "keewl".

2021-11-22T20:40:17+00:00

I wouldn’t do that and I especially would not ask him to provide me with examples lol.

Sea_Bookkeeper_1533 · 2021-11-23T10:08:44+00:00

I don't see an issue with it. Sometimes we'll see someone, regardless of gender, who's stands out, and we might comment on them. I doubt it means he's going to throw me out for this random woman on the street. I am secure with what I offer and I don't feel that acknowledging that so and so is super hot takes away from what I bring to the table. She could be a raging bitch in real life. 🤷‍♀️

LateralThinker13 · 2021-11-24T01:09:50+00:00

I told them that I don’t like the idea since I’m going to be his wife not one of his dudes, but they said that it’s a sign of insecurity and it’s not good to be jealous.

For some couples, it's okay. For others, it isn't. Sounds like for you it isn't. If your fiancee doesn't do it for you, and isn't interested in you doing it for him, then just... don't. Who cares what they think? Your focus should be on what he, and you, want, and that only.

Your friends exist to provide their own entertainment for themselves FIRST, and maybe to help you a distant second. Maybe.

Smartditz · 2021-11-21T21:18:03+00:00

Well since you have no interest in doing so, and seem to be going about it strategically, I don’t think you should.

Personally, I ask this question to people I’m dating at the beginning of seeing each other because I’m legitimately curious.

You don’t seem to possess that same curiosity so why ask a question that you don’t really care to have the answer to?

abacabbmk · 2021-11-22T02:27:07+00:00

.... whats the point ...

iMakeGreatDeals · 2021-11-24T04:52:58+00:00

Sounds like absolutely terrible advice

aussiedollface2 · 2021-11-25T09:30:16+00:00

Hubby and I might mention attractive celebrities but that’s about it. Anyone in “real life” seems a bit close to home for me haha xo

Organic_Cookie7476 · 2021-11-28T06:02:19+00:00

Your 'friends' are trying to destroy your relationship out of jealousy, they sound like nasty pieces of work. Please ditch these women and never trust a thing they say.

the_invisible_hand76 · 2021-12-05T16:34:21+00:00

My ex wanted the situation that your friends are pushing for. He also had a friend group where the women would talk about other men and the men would talk about other women in their relationships. He told one of the female friends in the group that it was one of the reasons we broke up and she laughed and said oh my fiance does that all the time. I don't know if that's true or not but it seemed like him trying to rationalize me for being crazy, and insecure. He made me feel like I was the problem all the time, I had never felt so insecure in my life in a relationship like that one. Looking back at it I realize that the girl that said that had a total pick me mentality, or maybe she just really didn't care who knows. It doesn't matter if your friends are cool with it, you're not and that's all that matters. If my friends said something like that I would be considering a new friend group or at least keep these ones at a distance.

Title	Is it cool to talk about women with your husband?
Author	DelicateFlower14
Upvotes	46
Comments	41
Date	November 21, 2021 9:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qz4cjp/is_it_cool_to_talk_about_women_with_your_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-cool-to-talk-about-women-with-your-husband.1087283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087283

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