What is the general rule or idea of gift giving during the holidays, birthday, or anniversaries?

fireforestfairy · 2021-12-02T18:00:13+00:00

I will not give a guy an extravagant gift unless he gives me one first. Unfortunately, a lot of scrotes are incapable of being thankful. If the guy is less wealthy than you, he'll probably either enjoy being spoiled with posh gifts and leeching off you or secretly resent you for being able to afford expensive gifts while they can't.

ABQ_COgirl · 2021-12-02T20:36:23+00:00

I match the price point that they generally spend on me. So I had to stop overspending when I realized they were not matching me. Maybe this can be different if you’re married, but even then, it should be once in a blue moon. Example: my boyfriend bought a purse for 150 and gave it to me for my birthday. So for his birthday I spent around 150 on a nice quality straight razor. Only do what you’re comfortable with. Also, see how they respond to gifts they are given. One year I spend like 400 on his birthday and the next I spend 150. He didn’t care He was just grateful to receive it. My ex husband, however, would complain about anything. I gave him a nice jersey with his favorite players name. He had the nerve to say I should have given it in some other players name. Then one year we decided we were too poor to do birthday gifts. My birthday was two days before his, he didn’t get me anything. I didn’t get him anything. Then he cited this as one of the reasons to divorce me lol. So if they act like jerks about gifts it’s a huge red flag.

Touch_of_lavender · 2021-12-02T16:05:19+00:00

I stopped giving thoughtful gifts to men. All they give in return is either useless or junk. Honestly, how hard is it to give something personal?

Nowadays I just show up with a hand written card.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-12-02T18:53:19+00:00

When my husband and I first started dating, he was very extra with gifts, and did something special every other month. I got burned with gifts in a past relationship, so I stuck to the occasional note and food related gifts. Now that we are married, he’s still extra and I put more effort in, but we also are on a budget. So we have conversations about just wanting something small and personal because of household expenses. We both know each other’s interests and get gifts tailored to that.

engineergorl · 2021-12-02T20:11:38+00:00

I don’t think there’s a rule of thumb, but I think it’s fair to say, don’t be excessive and don’t give him anything that will help him turn low value. Case in point, a PS5. Imagine wasting all that time to find one in stock and $1000 (or more, thanks scalpers) of your own money so that your boyfriend can spend his free time playing video games and neglecting you. God forbid he gets an addiction and starts “forgetting” to practice basic hygiene, cook, etc., and dumps all the responsibility on you. I don’t have a problem with video games, but lot of men don’t have self control and take the addiction too far.

GeorgiaPeach_94 · 2021-12-02T14:55:05+00:00

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purasangria · 2021-12-02T16:47:45+00:00

I give small gifts like something for the bar, a bottle of whiskey or wine. I only ever give extravagant gifts to a husband.

seadragon6 · 2021-12-03T02:35:49+00:00

Never a “wife” gift such as sheets or towels. I feel like both The Rules and Why Men Love Bitches briefly mention that you want to give something small and thoughtful. But if he appreciates an extravagant gift, he’s not a provider—and we can’t have that.

preppykat3 · 2021-12-02T21:46:21+00:00

Never out gift them.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-12-02T17:21:33+00:00

I’m married, so idk if my answer will be broadly applicable, but I usually just set a very modest budget and then find something thoughtful and personalized within that budget. I know, I know, groundbreaking. But the thing is, men usually don’t appreciate expensive gifts (unless they’re sports tickets lol) the way women do. For one thing, they usually have no earthly idea what it cost (whereas women are usually pretty good at guessing that in my experience), and for another, HVM are not looking for women to step into the provider role for them.

Still, if you love him and he treats you well, and you expect he will give you a wonderful gift (ETA expect from experience, my gifts from him are always expensive, wonderfully personalized, and lovely), I see no reason not to have fun getting him something nice. It’s prudent not to spend beyond your means for a man’s attention, of course, but don’t approach a good relationship in fear if you would prefer to celebrate.

I often will make something myself or gift an experience. For instance, my husband loves my singing, so for a holiday gift I am picking out songs he’s never heard before that I think he would like and making a CD of me singing them.

I would say my two guiding principles are:

Never put in more effort than is fun.
Never spend beyond my means.

AnniaT · 2021-12-02T18:38:09+00:00

I'm not good at this either. My boyfriend has been amazing to me so I want to give him something nice for Christmas. I think that there's no rules, you just shouldn't go over the top with the present. It always depends on how long you've been together and if he's shown he's also thoughtful with gifts to you.

enchantedglow · 2021-12-03T04:06:20+00:00

I wouldn't give something too expensive or deeply personal. Just something simple he likes. The price depends on the gifts he's given you and how long you've been with him (Honestly though I wouldn't spend more than $30 LMFAO). Tbh I don't think you need to put in a lot of effort into choosing a gift like you would for a female friend/family member. Provider men usually don't care about gifts, in the sense that they're happy with whatever you give them (and sometimes they don't even use the gifts lol). They prefer to give then receive.

Honestly your presence is a gift to him already 🤷🏼‍♀️

Title	What is the general rule or idea of gift giving during the holidays, birthday, or anniversaries?
Author	butteryorzo
Upvotes	107
Comments	20
Date	December 2, 2021 2:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r78wod/what_is_the_general_rule_or_idea_of_gift_giving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-is-the-general-rule-or-idea-of-gift-giving.1089123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089123

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