This is gonna be a super long post but I PROMISE the ending is so worth it.

Please let me preface by asking you to not judge me for my past pickme behaviors which are cringe worthy. Once you read the entire post it has an amazing ending. So please read on :)

I’m gonna start this post out by talking about my former pickme ways and then I’ll get to the amazing part.

So when I was 21 I moved two and a half hours away from home for a job and got my own apartment. Well due to unforeseen reasons, I lost that job. At the time I had a boyfriend I had been seeing for about three months. When I lost my job, I knew I’d have to move back home, but my then bf invited me to move in with him. I was stubborn and didn’t want to move back home so I took his invite. Everything was good for the first like 4 months (we were together 3 years). To make a long story short here’s what happened: 4 months into living together we stopped having sex all together. He said he had a testosterone issue, I begged for him to go to the doctor so we could be intimate and have that connection, he down right refused. On top of that, he completely stopped sleeping in the same bed as me. He was always falling asleep on the couch and then would wake up and go to work. He dumped me and kicked me out because I confessed to him that I was raped while we were together. He saw it as cheating hence the reason why I kept it from him for over a year.

Move on to the next guy. This dude lied to me about how far into the process of his divorce he was (big red flag I see today, not back then) he also love bombed me which I didn’t recognize nor did I know what it was. He moved me to NJ with him. 7 hours away from home. I was up there for about three weeks when his so called soon to be ex wife calls him bawling her eyes out and screaming at him because HE HAD JUST SENT HER DIVORCE PAPERS. HE TOLD ME HE WAS NEARLY DONE WITH THE DIVORCE. I knew that was a red flag. Fast forward, he ghosted me for four days, I’ll spare you the pickme details I did because ugh, I was pathetic. In the time thay he was ghosting me (he was a truck driver away at the time) his mom calls me and proceeds to tell me that my bf’s dad will be moving into his sons house because it’s still in his dads name. I asked how soon, she said within the next few days. Y’all I’m not lying when I packed all my shit up, my dog and my new puppy within two hours and hit the road and was back home later that same night.

This one’s a quickie. There was a guy I met who lived in TN. About three hours away. I went for a short weekend visit and then came back for a week stay. He basically asked me to move in with him and I for sure wasn’t comfortable with that at all given my past AND the fact that his kids lived with him and NONE OF THEM DROVE. THEY WERE OF AGE TO GET THEIR LICENSE BUT DIDNT WANT TO. I got out of there real quick. That lasted about 3 weeks.

Now we get to this week. This is the incredible happy ending and the day I realized I have overcome 96% of my pickme ways. I GOT MY OWN APARTMENT (with a female roommate) ALL BY MYSELF. I’m only gonna be 45 mins away from home, 10 mins from my job and near the campus that I am going to be attending to get my bachelors degree. Y’all. I’m SO proud of myself. I did this all by myself. No man to help me or coerce me into moving in with them. I’m not moving for a guy. I’m not talking to any men right now. I’m completely single and I love it! I am focusing on me for once. Something I should’ve done long ago and I couldn’t have done it without my best friend but also the FDS handbook and you lovely ladies. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping a horrible ex pickme and for helping me realize I can do shit all by myself with no help from a man. I’m so excited for this next chapter in my life.