ladies, how do you hold space for yourself?

I've mentioned here that I do want companionship; it'll be six years this coming August 2022 so I'm ready to move on.

However, from having been married twice, being Gen-X, I want to ask the FDS queens here, and gain wisdom from old and young alike: how DO you hold space for yourself, and prevent a man from just taking over? After a LOT of thought over the past several years, that's my #1 fear, of... not sure what to call it, relationship-creep?

Living apart together and keeping finances separate should solve 75-90% of this problem or more. Ideally I'd like to find a guy who is around my age, possibly a little younger, who would be downright relieved to live apart together, not marry, and who understands about keeping finances and assets separate. I want a guy who intuitively understands the need for space and one's own territory.

That said, the whole living apart together thing would be new to me, and I want to keep it fair, equitable, loving, kind, but very separate domiciles. So, FDS queens, how do you hold space for yourself in relationships, living together or separately? How do you prioritize yourself in relationships and not give too much? How do you cope with that insidious societal push to cohabitate/marry? How do you keep things slow but steady? What milestones/roadmarks do you look for to know you're on the right track with a man?

I also worry about his being a little harder to vet, by not living together, but this is a hard boundary for me. I simply MUST have my own space, and want a man who must have his own space, too. However, I think it would be a little easier to overlook red flags. What say you all? Thanks in advance.