Traditional house chores done by men

Maffioze · 2023-03-04T14:47:46+00:00

I think there is a fundamental issue in comparing the work someone has done based on hours and amount only.

Some work is more taxing for your body whether it's emotionally or physically. Some work is not necessary but done anyway. Some work comes with a risk of death.

Oncefa2 · 2023-03-04T17:21:38+00:00

Previously, while reading the book by Dr. Warren Farrell, The myth of male power I saw some mentions about the traditional house chores by men, I tried to search it but I didn't find, if anyone has it then they can share it with me.

A much better resource is Women Can't Hear what Men don't Say. Not just for this list you're after, but in terms of the wider issue that you're talking about. As well as how to address it in a healthy relationship (Warren Farrell is a very successful relationship counselor).

There are 54 categories of chores that men do more than women listed on pages 100 through 106. Note that these aren't individual chores. These are categories of chores. You probably couldn't come close to listing everything individually.

Here's the first five from the list. They're all here if you want to see the rest of them:

https://archive.org/stream/warren_farrell_women_cant_hear_what_men_dont_say/Warren%20Farrell-Women%20Can%27t%20Hear%20What%20Men%20Don%27t%20Say_%20Destroying%20Myths%2C%20Creating%20Love-Tarcher%20%281999%29_djvu.txt

1. Activities most likely to break an arm, leg, or neck, or to crack a skull: In your relationship, who climbs tall ladders or checks out the roof? For example, who uses ladders to do house painting (e.g., reaching for a spot we’ve missed that’s too far away on a homemade scaffold on a windy day), or to clean outside windows; or to go into the attic? Who shovels wet snow off a roof to avoid roof damage, resulting in many men slipping off the roof every winter?

A man who falls off a roof or ladder is lucky if he breaks only an arm; some men, though, are paralyzed for life, or killed; others find shoveling snow off a roof leads to problems that get them classified in one of the next two categories.

2. Activities most likely to trigger heart attacks: Shoveling snow off a driveway or sidewalk; pushing a car that’s out of gas off a crowded street into the gas station; playing tag, soccer, or basketball with the kids for a “little too long” while trying to teach the children that a parent can be a playmate too; or carrying a sleepy child from an upstairs bed to the backseat of a car and back into bed again without waking up the child, only to find Dad’s heartbeat getting erratic and pain thrusting through his arm.

3. Activities most likely to cause lower back problems and hernia operations: Moving furniture or twisting his back as he juggles a heavy suitcase into the backseat of a two-door car (or behind other suitcases in a trunk); or trying to carry a IV or a computer up a down staircase; or moving the refrigerator or some file cabinets; or moving tables at a church event or picnic.

4. Assembly: Mail-order products, toys, bikes, furniture, bookcases, beds; putting up kids’ plastic pools, backyard tents.

5. Barbecuing: Shopping for barbecue, charcoal, propane; basting, marinating, cooking; cleaning up of grill, tongs, ashes, etc.

6. Bodyguard: at home... in public places...

7. Camping:...

8. Car buying:...

9. Car maintenance and repair:...

ActualInteraction0 · 2023-03-04T14:43:54+00:00

Some women who complain about that are ungrateful. They don't notice things their husbands are doing. Men do things such as mowing the lawn, fixing things, lifting things, cooking, and other things too.

Poly_and_RA · 2023-03-04T17:44:00+00:00

The implication usually is that women do more work than men overall if you include all forms of work in other words paid work plus household chores plus care work.

If you go and look at actual time-use surveys, then in at least many countries (including both USA, and Norway where I live) this just plain isn't true.

Instead, men and women on the average do fairly identical amount of work. Women do a bit more household chores and care work, but men do more paid work and in sum total, it more or less balances out.

django62293 · 2023-03-04T16:32:42+00:00

The housework discourse usually downplays the labor men do and exaggerates the labor women do.

Mowing the lawn, taking out trash, shoveling snow, maintaining vehicles, roof work, fixing machinery, is usually not mentioned but is washing the dishes, cooking and laundry are made to be the women’s personal 9/11

Tardigrade_Disco · 2023-03-04T22:13:30+00:00

I've been a single dad for over 8 years now. I do all the cooking and cleaning and let me tell you, it's not shit. All of it adds up to maybe 5 hours of work at most each week. And that's me cooking at least 5 nights a week too. I don't know how people have come to think that maintaining a tidy household is so difficult and tedious because it's really not.

Your_Agenda_Sucks · 2023-03-04T22:23:30+00:00

Such a non-issue.

I do 100% of the house-chores because women don't get to live in my house. It is paradise.

Phantombiceps · 2023-03-04T16:35:45+00:00

Going to the gym for years, wrestling or judo in high school, even getting tattoos, learning to be the better driver, going out to get something from the store at night. Learning to use a weapon like a handgun . Walking the dog at night. Notice a theme? these things are labor toward a goal used in security work and protection of the family and the home, but most don’t take place there. Women in more traditional settings have these indirect forms of labor too but they are more noticed (learning a recipe).

But let’s not forget that more things men would be in charge of have been outsourced to the market. Most working class families don’t hire house cleaners but do hire a guy to install an alarm, be movers, etc., and cattle and game is totally outsourced to the food industry. Whereas, at least half of cooking will be done at home, and only half or less will be outsourced to the service industry.

Foxsayy · 2023-03-05T03:00:59+00:00

I see a lot of good points about how a lot of the domestic chores men do often or ignored or not taking into consideration, but there's also the question of how much needs to be done and *if it really needs to be done, * areas which have significant leeway based on the individual.

For instance, if you're not having guests, and one partner wants to throw all the clean towels in a designated "clean towels" basket in the closet, because no one ever sees them anyway so why would you take the effort, and the other insists that towels must be folded because that's the right way to do it: Should we be framing that as the one partner's failure to do their fair share of work, or should view it as an unnecessary imposition of an unnecessary burden by the other partner?

2023-03-06T01:03:31+00:00

This entire subject is irrelevant to me as I have always done more chores than any women I lived with including as a young child with 2 sisters that did a grand total of NOTHING ever. As adult lived in multiple share houses where I was not only the handyman but the regular house cleaner/deep cleaner, appliances collector/installer, furniture builder, end of lease cleaner etc.

Never seen a women once out work me even remotely out of 8-12 individuals I have lived with, including partners.

DMFan79 · 2023-03-05T07:22:18+00:00

My parents taught me everything I needed to know in order to be independent. During my marriage I did pretty much everything. She used to load the washing machine, but never emptied it when it finished, so I had to put clothes to dry before going to bed, if I wanted to avoid them smelling of mold.

Regardless of each of our personal stories, most men I know are perfectly capable of doing chores and split the work equally with their partners.

I keep reading/hearing this tale about the majority of men that treat women as servants, but I can't find a correlation with the reality.

Let's not forget that many men live alone and care for themselves without external aids.

I think that we should start talking about "people" in general and stop comparing males with females, since it's a fact, many women nowadays are not able to do basic things like cooking or loading a dishwasher.

Electrical_Media_367 · 2023-03-04T16:52:11+00:00

Here are the things that I’ve always been 100% responsible for in every cohabitating relationship: Cooking all meals, washing dishes and meal cleanup, grocery shopping, feeding pets, cleaning up after pets (litter boxes, outdoor poop scooping), child transportation to school and extracurriculars, packing kids school lunches/snacks, child bed time routines, weekend child activities outside of the house so mom can get a break, computer/internet/TV maintenance for everyone in the family, household electrical repair/upgrades, toilet/shower/sink maintenance (clog removal, pipe snaking, leak fixing), car maintenance and repairs, car inspections and registration, gas refills on cars, driving on long trips (this one I prefer because I get car sick as a passenger), dealing with household pests, paying bills, scheduling and maintaining house cleaning services (house cleaners come once a week).

The following chores are shared: laundry, child discipline, outdoor yard care.

My ex wife, ex girlfriend, and current girlfriend have no chores that they are responsible for.

CoffeeWorldly9915 · 2023-03-05T14:26:29+00:00

Risk vs. tediousness.

If it takes 30 min and has a <0.000000005% chance of causing potentially lethal bodily damage, a woman does it. If the chance is higher, regardless of the time it takes, a man does it. Most of men's assigned tasks aren't daily repeat things by this premise. "Counting hours dedicated" is a convenient form of setting up a theory that dismisses the tradeoff of risk. True, women give up more hours of their finite lives to regular tasks, but men do far more sporadic tasks with a far greater chance of ending their lives immediately.

CatacombsRave · 2023-03-05T00:35:37+00:00

Trash, recyclables, home repairs, shoveling snow, raking leaves, mowing the lawn, building everything, chopping wood, grilling meat, replacing shingles, cleaning gutters, and anything else dangerous/dirty/wet.

2023-03-13T14:15:59+00:00

This is why feminism is a tentacle of capitalism. The whole narrative of X hours worked being applied to the household was born because of our twisted value in capitalism. It's funny cause imagine what would happen if we applied work rights to things that men do in the household... (climb on rooftops, using heavy duty tools, fixing electrical wiring).

It's all fucked. We are all fucked.

Rhizotomist · 2024-10-12T15:30:52+00:00

I feel the most important thing is to find a partner you’re compatible with. It’s makes life easier.

TisIChenoir · 2023-03-04T18:03:44+00:00

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escapadablur · 2023-10-12T11:55:26+00:00

Anything a women does for the household is often considered “free labor”. Anything a guy does around the house is mostly ignored.

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