I don't know what to flair this. I recently posted about being in an abusive marriage with a 1 year old daughter. I've had several women reach out to me and let me know they're willing to help. I appreciate that more than you know.
My stbx must have went into my phone. He didn't deny any of the stuff, he just said he's mad that I'm talking about it. The "how dare you tell people what I did to you!" talk.
He's decided he doesn't want me, that I'm not worth changing for, and told me he wishes I weren't in my daughters life. This scares me, because he's told me before that if I leave he will make my life hell, that I should kill myself and save him the trouble, and told me he hopes I die giving birth.
I admit, I've been feeling defeated and haven't moved on any options I have. I hurt my ankle and have let that be an excuse to wade in depression and self pity. "Who's going to hire a mom without a home and a big boot on her leg?" This afternoon, while he sat there and told me that, and that he was going to replace me with a "good woman who cooks and cleans and enjoys being a sahm" I realized the way he looks at my baby is the same dead eyed fake smile mask he looks at me with. I got chills and immediately took her out of the house with me.
The time is now. Realizing he's an actual threat right before my eyes to my baby has my skin crawling.
There was some humor to his rant about how I disrespected him because I told strangers on the internet about his abuse. He hates the women here. "They don't realize they have to be good people." I'm not sure what he's talking about. While there may be some personalities that are bigger and more outspoken, I haven't seen any woman here putting others down or being nasty. Even when you call another woman out, it's kind and obviously from a place of caring. Good people to who? The abusive sacks of shit that want to use them? Nah, we're good.
My gratitude towards the women who have been supportive can't even be expressed. Someone told me it's hard to accept kindness when you aren't used to it.
For my daughter, and for myself, we're going somewhere safe that he cannot reach us. Until we have a court order, he won't have contact with her. Please keep us in your thoughts.
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