I got accused of predatory behavior for asking for how to properly receive consent.

BabyGirlLena · 2020-02-20T00:02:25+00:00

Yeah honestly if you feel like a form is needed because they can turn on you that quickly... You deserve better. Some girls out there are really crazy with the lies etc. Best of luck :)💕

XavierMalory · 2020-02-20T00:07:58+00:00

R/sex is loaded with misandry. I was banned for pointing out (with references) issues on pair bonding for women with multiple sex partners.

You won’t get an intellectual conversation there. It’s like asking a cat to explain the theory of relativity.

trprep · 2020-02-20T00:26:25+00:00

My only advice in terms of the issue you're dealing with is to make sure you can read women well for signs of dishonesty and instability. That's really the best you can do, and even a signed consent form may not be helpful. Make sure to keep all your texts and whatnot on hand, and if you're in a situation where it looks like things are going south during an encounter, start a recording on your phone (assuming you're in a one-party consent recording state).

TritonHL · 2020-02-20T00:15:36+00:00

Yeah I bet you hold doors open for them and want to hold hands while walking on a beach with nothing but the light of a full moon and the gentle caress of the waves at your feet, fucking rapist.

Big /s on that last part

Lethn · 2020-02-20T00:15:02+00:00

Do not give women like this the time of day and socially cull them from your life, in fact cull anybody who thinks like this about social interactions generally. The thing you don't realise is that feminists especially will never be satisfied. They want total obedience, not a mutual relationship and that's why the stereotype of the female businesswoman dating a soyboy exists.

No self-respecting man who actually has a sense of self-worth wants to date these morons so they take to social media listing off their 'demands' and then wonder why they can't get long term boyfriends they're actually attracted to. Trust me the types of women you see posting this shit about consent forms or talking about how important consent is are not only totally fucking dishonest but they're also going to be completely crazy and are convinced that men are all out to get them so you'll never be able to put them at ease anyway.

Also, if it makes you feel any better, purely because I said I was against feminism I've had scumbags come along and either imply or outright call me a woman beater. They do this shit to try and either shame you into silence or smear your reputation when they can't get you to comply with their bullshit.

tenchineuro · 2020-02-20T00:39:43+00:00

I'd not worry too much about it...

She can withdraw consent at any time, the form is not worth anything
She apparently cannot give meaningful consent anyway in our patriarchal society.

I’m not having sex till I find a girl I can seriously trust with my life, cause that’s what’s on the line nowadays

Are you under the impression that you need to have had sex with her, or even know her to be accused of rape? There is no safety this side of the grave, and if any of those horror movies have any grain of truth, maybe not the other side either. :-)

dtaylortx · 2020-02-20T00:13:21+00:00

They don’t understand. They have no concept of the legal ramifications of that scenario at all. Couple of friends were talking about this with the girls, and it was a deer in headlights moment for them. One had to break it down to Barney level for them and they still didn’t understand. For women “getting consent” is as foreign a concept as a White dude trying to think what being a Black dude walking in NYC at night is like.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2020-02-20T05:42:49+00:00

Then she had the nerve to say “when you get caught up in your predatory behavior don’t say I didn’t warn you”.

People like that are the fucking worst. They provoke you, and then when you get mad, they blame you and act like your feelings (which are valid and the result of their shitty behavior) are the result of some deep character flaw. I had a parent like that, I had a girlfriend like that, and now the minute I spot that kind of childish emotional manipulation, I cut them out.

They live in a world where their judgements about everyone are true by default. The minute they don't like you, they decide you're deeply flawed, and from that point on you are that to them. You just are. Reality doesn't matter. "Remember the human" doesn't matter. You're just someone to provoke so they call fill a minute of their empty lives with glee by ruining a stranger's mood. It's pathetic.

Also, I read that thread, and holy hell that lady was obtuse. "I didn't say you were a rapist, only that you sounded like a rapist." Is she six years old?

auMatech · 2020-02-20T06:41:15+00:00

Welcome to the world of feminist gas lighting. You can't win no matter what you do.

You're best bet is to find someone that isn't corrupted by that ideological vomit

ThisFreedomGuy · 2020-02-20T00:16:27+00:00

You may have come around to the right conclusion. When the woman is so right that you can see marriage, then sex won't be as scary.

BrazilianG1 · 2020-02-20T00:30:37+00:00

Would you have the post?

Amazing_Rope_Police · 2020-02-20T14:25:07+00:00

*utmost, not up most :)

Greg_W_Allan · 2020-02-20T03:25:01+00:00

Nothing new here. Bait and switch, Kafka Traps. It's always been a woman's prerogative to change her mind. You should not expect integrity.

ludwigdeutsch · 2020-02-20T03:29:10+00:00

As a woman speaking, you’re absolutely right that you need to trust the woman to the max. And all guys should take this advice. It’s horrifying to think that I could say something about any guy and people would believe me. It’s sad, but I think in this day and age in order to have sex you need to have trust more than anything. Btw I don’t think it’s outrageous to ask someone to sign a consent form

bomomma · 2020-02-20T06:45:49+00:00

Just my perspective (25m) with approx 50 sexual partners; some one night stands and others longer relationships: I have never once in my life been accused of rape or assault and I'm not really worried about it either in the future. Sex is amazing and is an essential part of my life. For me it's worth the risk, and I can say the Majority of the women I have met have been really chill and I have felt safe and have had great experiences. I have heard of horror stories but I honestly think it happens less than you think. I wouldn't let some man hating woman on reddit stop you from sex because the majority of women are great, in my experience anyway.

BornFreeWE · 2020-02-20T07:46:48+00:00

Don't be angry bro. Different people understand things differently.

That particular person is so indoctrinated that she thinks everything a man does is to cover up mallicious intent.

She is not talking about you. She tells you her thoughts.

2020-02-20T08:42:36+00:00

Get a hooker or flashlight.

In no way i would get involved with relationship or ons.

Stay away from drunk girls.

MansAnOnion · 2020-02-20T11:05:58+00:00

Hi OP, would you link the original post in r/sex please, so we can check out the responses?

TheGreatConst · 2020-02-20T14:36:03+00:00

I can understand your concern, but you should learn about the accusation statistics first... The total number of rape accusations isn't too big at less than 0,1% per year, yearly there are about 140k rapes reported in the whole USA and there are about a hundred million people who have sex regularly. It is unknown how many of those accusations are false, it may be up to 50% if you are being negative, but of all cases reported to the police only about 5% result in a conviction. So yeah, verbal consent would be enough and more than 99,9% of men use it and never have any problems. You should understand that all those false accusations are really really rare (not in comparison to true accusations, but to a total number of people). Most of those false accusations done after consensual drunk hookups or after relationships break up with bipolar women. If you are so afraid of false accusations then try to avoid having sex too soon or while being drunk, also depending on state/country you can actually record audio and it could be used as proof later. All this #metoo movement exists precisely because it is very hard to prove even actual real rape, let alone false accusation rape. Factually you are risking much more to die in the car incident than being falsely accused of rape. It is like winning a lottery but instead of a prize, you get a problem.

Anyway, even with the contract, there is nothing preventing a girl from lying that she changed her mind in the process, lol. If contracts worked 100% and were more reliable than verbal consent then you could just do whatever you want with a girl after she signed the contract.

LateralThinker13 · 2020-02-20T16:21:08+00:00

I was asking if a consent form, no matter how much it would kill the mood, would help me in the case of a false accusation.

What usually is best is the pre-coitus PMs (Want to hook up?) and post-coitus PMs (Had a great time) that, along with her responses, act to demonstrate pre- and post-consent.

This is part of what sank Emma Sulkybitch's case. (Mattress girl)

reverseoreo21 · 2020-02-22T07:28:25+00:00

I really don't get why people are so quick to call this paranoia. If the girl is normal, we have a nice night together and maybe there's a relationship the next morning who knows. If she's a sociopath, you go to prison for a long time, can't get hired anywhere, are labeled a sex abuser forever, and want to kill yourself. You are literally putting everything on the line, everything, your entire life depends on this girl being normal. That's not paranoia. Nobody's denying the ability for girls to do this, they're just saying most won't as if that's a form of comfort.

QueenNayru · 2020-02-20T02:58:46+00:00

We'll see, by having a form you assume a women would even have sex with you which is like 4 counts of rape right there /s Smh

FactsAngerLiars · 2020-02-20T03:50:26+00:00

The ruinous power of female accusation is and has always been part of their power. They will choke to death on their own vomit before they give it up.

Modsarefacistpigs · 2020-02-20T03:59:44+00:00

Damaged women love to throw around accusations unfounded.

You think that person will be reasonable and you will be able to explain and have them accept they will be wrong ?

Just call her a twisted bitch and ignore, they fucking hate it.

Jackson2615 · 2020-02-20T05:19:54+00:00

You cant win with feminists, you don't ask for consent -your a rapist, you do ask for consent your still a rapist

How on earth do you prove consent when there is just the 2 of you there??? With so many false accusations by women ??

spletharg · 2020-02-20T13:55:05+00:00

You need to understand what her most deeply held values are and if they fit with yours then you should be able to trust her. You could devise some subtle ethics/ values tests and slip them into your interactions/ set up situations to observe how she reacts.

trash62 · 2020-02-20T16:39:55+00:00

What I wonder is what kind of man would even want to have sex these days.

If women complain the only men left are jerks, it might be due to the fact that the men who aren't horn dogs aren't desperate enough to risk everything for a little nookie.

Why would anyone even want to have sex with someone who feels like it's some kind of assault on her person? That's THE turnoff. Yuck!

throwlaca · 2020-02-20T18:36:42+00:00

Women has been gifted a nuclear weapon against males: accusations of rape and abuse, that now are taken very seriously and the man always lose, innocent or not.

But instead of using it responsibly, they are pushing the button and bombing everybody all the time with this new power they have. Society will learn that there's a reason women were never trusted with power in any society.

EvilLothar · 2020-02-20T18:49:24+00:00

Always be recording. Protect yourself no mater what. Keep all corospondence. Look at all the celebs that have been proven innocent due to keeping this type of stuff for literally decades.

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2020-02-20T06:52:36+00:00

Lol, anytime someone tells you, you don't need something in writing, you REALLY DO need it in writing because they are likely to change whatever they say.

If I said, I'm going to sell you my car, but we don't need anything in writing, would you not think that suspicious? It is far too easy for me to call my car in stolen, get my car back and take the money. Get the consent formed signed. Women claim that they don't things in writing because it is a mood killer and turn off. BUt they want marriage and weddings. Have you seen how much forms, agreements, documents, etc you have to sign to get that shit done?

You got to sign contracts with the flower people, the event space, the venue manager, the decorations people, the marriage contract itself, the travel honey moon arrangements, etc. The average person will sign more contracts and do more paper work getting a wedding than getting a house. Also women want the house with the picket fence, that involves signing lots of papers too. Women will claim they don't want a prenup because more papers is unromantic. Ok, so no marriage, no wedding, no honey moon, no house right?

CHAD_J_THUNDERCOCK · 2020-02-20T14:51:34+00:00

I've been falsely accused a few times. Not of full blown rape. But a manager got me to go into room alone with her and later accused me of assault to avoid herself getting fired for not doing work. A lesbian in a queue at a gay bar accused me of molesting her as she had told me to leave as I was straight and it was 'her space'.

The consent forms will not work but your heart is in a good place.

I suggest if you want to minimise risk to have a camera in your living room for home security. Never in your bedroom. Also you can use a tape recorder app on your phone. Always save and record everything. Put it on a harddrive and encrypt it. Also take girls out to breakfast the next day to a public place and pay for breakfast and keep the receipt.

I was accused of cheating on a girl I slept with a few times. We were not dating it just sex, she was sleeping with other guys too. But I slept with someone else. She persuaded most of my college I cheated on her but everyone kept it a secret why they were blanking me for 6 months. I had no way to defend myself. Wish I recorded everythng back then.

RealResource · 2020-02-20T14:58:37+00:00

Your question is an interesting one. How do you prove you had consent in a way that clears you from a false accusation?

The answer is simply, as a man you can’t. The system is stacked against you.

A signed contract before sex won’t help you. She can just say that she withdrew consent after the document was signed, or that she was coerced into signing it.

Likewise you can be falsely accused of rape by a woman you have never met, let alone had any sexual contact with. Men are being criminally convicted on historic child sex offences where the alleged victims can’t even name times and places.

After the accusation is made the social consequences will be enormous and pervasive. Even if the false accusation is later recanted, most people will still believe it is true. Likewise you are not convicted before you are arrested and jailed.

So what is the most effective way to protect yourself? Firstly, don’t have sex outside of marriage. The number one motivation for false rape claims is a woman who cheats or feels guilty after sex, so claims it was rape to excuse her infidelity or lust. You have no way of knowing if the woman who hit on you in a bar is married, or in a LTR.

The next is to avoid social contact with rough or lower class women. It’s not the upstanding, sane, well mannered women who are most likely to make a false claim. It’s poor women, drug addicted women, personality disordered women, feminist women. If a woman thinks she lives in a rape culture she is more likely to lie about being raped. This is because she will be praised for it by her social circle, and can rationalise it as making the world a better place by bringing attention to the issue - even if her claim isn’t factual.

For women generally, don’t associate with them in places where you aren’t being recoded and don’t have other witnesses around. Meet her in a crowded restaurant? Sure. Drive her home afterwards? Not unless you have inwards facing cameras in your car and store the footage for the rest of your life.

With the sex act itself, obviously record it. If she doesn’t consent to being recorded find a different woman to fuck. Ideally you would have two impartial witnesses in the room while you were fucking her. There people would be able to testify that she gave no sign of distress or comment to stop if she later claims she wasn’t consenting.

I tend to follow these rules myself. I don’t have women in my house, or engage with them in ways that open me to false accusations. I used to. But then I was extorted through the threat of a false claim by a trusted female family friend. So now I just avoid women generally. Don’t socialise with them, don’t fuck them. I don’t even talk to them, any more than is needed to go about my business. You would be amazed how much more pleasant life is when you just cut out the female sex. About a third of the human race lives this way, in Islamic countries.

Title	I got accused of predatory behavior for asking for how to properly receive consent.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	100
Comments	64
Date	February 19, 2020 11:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f6jyd4/i_got_accused_of_predatory_behavior_for_asking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-got-accused-of-predatory-behavior-for-asking-for.1200478 https://theredarchive.com/post/1200478

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