which MOC Men of color face the worst difficulty in dating?

HazyMemory7 · 2022-12-16T13:01:28+00:00

No racially charged content

apple-of-eden · 2022-12-16T07:17:05+00:00

This is what my partner (Indian descent) has said. I’m into nerdy guys, and he fit a lot of qualities I like. From what he has said, he was in disbelief for quite a while at first when I showed consistent interest in him and in dating him. Like “usually we don’t have luck with girls outside our race”. It seems like a lot of family also frown on “Americanized” Indians who date outside of their culture or race.

I’ve heard from several Indian men that they have the worst luck on dating apps.

This hesitance from women in the dating scene kind of seems unique for Indian men and not the same way for Hispanic for example. I think the strong family bond and prevalence of arranged marriages might have a lot to influence on it. It would be interesting to look into more.

toastedtomato · 2022-12-16T08:10:10+00:00

I have faced so much shit after I moved to the states. I have been looked at with disgust or fear by women. The curry, paki, smelly, manlet jokes are the cherry on top. It is absolutely a death sentence. I plan to move away soon, perhaps to Singapore.

PuertoRock007 · 2022-12-16T07:38:49+00:00

Sorry but I agree it has to be Indian guys.

Black guys are stereotyped as criminals but also stereotyped as having big dicks.

Hispanic guys are stereotyped as losers but also as good lovers and experts at eating box.

Asian guys as having small dicks but also as being smart and having money.

I don't know what women say about Indian guys but I do see a lot of Indian guys complaining a lot.

Johnny_Autism · 2022-12-16T08:51:44+00:00

even women who complimented my looks, which I then took as 'green light' to start making moves, were shocked when I expressed romantic interest. You see, there is something about the east-asian appearance that makes most western women simultaneously feel comfortable as they will perceive you as completely harmless. They like me as long as I fit the stereotype of a desexualised funny asian boy.

alchemist10000 · 2022-12-16T09:21:23+00:00

It's more of the stereotypes that society holds. As an asian man I've felt it too. In online dating I get near zero results because of my race. It seems that women have this stereotype of asian men as feminine, meek, submissive, and so swipe left on the stereotype.

I remember this one time on Discord where I got on well with a chick, vibing and all, then she saw my face is Asian and she suddenly stopped replying to my messages. I find I do better in real life where people can see the real me and my behaviour etc.

I've heard black men face the opposite stereotype, they are seen as thuggish, violent, aggresive, low socioeconomic status. So because of those stereotypes women fetishize them for sex but not for relationships. I've heard of a story of a woman asking a black guy to treat her as if he was a thug assaulting her, so as to fulfil her fantasy kink.

Women wise I've seen data that black women are the least desired race relatively (by men) on dating apps, because of the stereotypes of black women as masculine and combative. A black woman friend at uni has complained about how she has faced racism in dating too.

In contrast, with asian women, they face the stereotypes of being feminine, submissive, demure, and I've heard a few asian women say that they are unhappy when men fetishize them for those stereotypes.

Here is an overview of how these stereotypes affect results in online dating:

https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/11/27/ethnic-preferences2_custom-2bcc84fb38b5ab6f7b614f933449fe2421d0eefd.png

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/1248/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2016/7/1/7e422aa2-07d6-4409-800f-3c4aab85a642.jpg

I think racial stereotypes harm the people who are on the receiving end of it. Personally I found the best way to break it is to act authentically to our individual self, and in contrast to the stereotypes that people expect. Live our life however we want and ignore the racial stereotypes that society has basically.

Some people's perception never change of course due to deep rooted beliefs, but the ones who are a bit more open minded I find are willing to change their perception (of racial stereotypes).

Edit to reply to Last-Post2085 below me since thread is locked:

Check out these two dating videos, it's from an Asian youtuber who is 5'6.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N355wmuzABA&ab_channel=ChangNation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geyRWCCtESM&ab_channel=ChangNation

Yeh life in general is unfair in different ways, one friend I know got Crohn disease which severely affected their life quality, another friend of a friend I know had a high paying job cute girlfriend but then got brain cancer and died. People who inherited bad genetics in dating have to work harder than those who were blessed with good genes. Same with work too but with IQ.

I think best we can do is use the cards we have been dealt and maximize it, focus on what we can control and improve on that basically. It's good to hear that you are doing things that make you happy, I think that's the most important thing, more important than finding a woman, whether you are the average man or a Chad.

auteurfantastique · 2022-12-16T07:03:35+00:00

I'm an ethnically Indian guy too. Personally I think East Asian men have it worse than us, at least where I live. But it depends on your approach too, I take pains to be as un-creepy as possible and for the most part I think it works.

Off topic but this is one place where straight and gay dating scenes differ a lot. When it came to attracting guys I never felt race helped or hurt, but with women I do think being White or Black (depending on the locale) can help and being Indian, East Asian or Black (depending on the locale) can hurt.

KirthWGersen · 2022-12-16T07:13:17+00:00

The USA has the oddest attitudes to skin colour and ethnicity. From the outside it seems like the most racist people of all are those who claim to be antiracist.

Maybe better to date in a country where terms like POC don't exist and people simply don't care about such nonsense.

2022-12-16T11:13:47+00:00

lifeprotip: move to an all white people area or somewhere at least you will be the token indian guy. You don't get that "guilty by association" death sentence like in areas with lots of the weird indians like you describe.

Also, once you break out and become good looking minority, the situation flips and you are more desirable than before because you are different.

source: i'm a decently good looking indian dude living in an area with 95% white people and women often want to try me out like i'm the new indian restaurant in town. sometimes they like it and try me again and again.

catniagara · 2022-12-16T12:23:53+00:00

I’m going to say Indian guys have it as hard as me, a brown girl. I have friends who are Afghan, Persian etc who get girls left and right. But a lot of girls complain about Indian guys (mostly West Indian) because they smell like curry and have a “funny accent”.

And girls like me complain about them because they are weirdly obsessed with white girls and treat them like princesses while treating brown girls like literal slaves. Or they will be super ugly but expect a model girl to bow down to them like Gods. And then you see the older guys on the street walking in front of their wife or hitting her in public.

Even someone in my family is married to a West Indian guy and he flies into fits of entitlement and rage. She’s only with him because he’s rich. I’d rather be on welfare. To me it seems like she sold her soul.

They can also be incredibly judgemental, morally, and have low self esteem like a lot of Chinese and Korean men. They simultaneously complain nobody wants them and judge everyone who does.

Personally I always felt like I just couldn’t win. At least with Chinese, Taiwanese Persian Afghan and Korean guys one of his friends will tell you he likes you and ask you on a date for him, and bring him and throw him at you 😂

NOSjoker21 · 2022-12-16T09:03:24+00:00

I'm ethnically African-American (33M) and dating an Indian (22F).

She, like multiple South Asian women I've met, have had... less than kind things to say about Indian men. They've all been open to dating Indian-American men, but not the former.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-12-16T10:13:39+00:00

I think Indian men have it the worse in the dating world as far as men of color are concerned.

My biggest dating difficulty as a dark skin black guy raised in the south Texas was realizing that most women have strict racial preferences that don't really budge unless she feels the guy is exceptional. Not to say that there weren't women of my own race and other races who were interested in me because I pretty much dated every race in high school but that was mostly because I played football and was pretty popular.

Growing up in a majority Hispanic neighborhood where there were only a handful of black kids and a small minority of white kids, race definitely played a part in the social and dating scene . If you weren't White or Hispanic and didn't play sports, as a guy you were practically invisible.

Since football came naturally to me in high school I got a scholarship to a D-1 school. This is the only time in my life where I had women of all races actively pursuing me for hookups and relationships. This taught me how important status is to women and that women will break their own personal rules for you if they're feeling you like that.

TL:DR =Men of color are at a disadvantage in the dating world but having looks or status can makeup for it.

2022-12-16T10:04:45+00:00

Dude, in Dubai - it's like a RP paradise if you got cheese to qualify to the race. Let me tell you - I agreed with the Asian's are on hard mode until I went to the bar scene there.

Holy fuck my man, I was AMOGed so hard by all the brown and chinese bros - it's not even funny. And I wasn't mad at it, because unlike the Serbian and Polish meatbags - they were all super polite, super classy but shady AF and knew how to lock me out of the sets smoother than a car salesman for a sports coupe.

Get clean, get fit, talk slower, dress like your granma wants to, and get out of the basic bitch dating pool. You and me have nothing to offer the girls that are into the thugs. Stop dating 7s with popping IGs.

2022-12-16T07:51:49+00:00

What do you mean, men of colour are talked about here all the time. The 5'2" fat Indian janitor that redpillers love to bring up all the time.

But to answer your question I think this just depends on where you live. I don't think a definitive answer on a global website will be useful.

neetykeeno · 2022-12-16T09:00:14+00:00

This is one of those topics that as soon as anyone gets close to saying anything true and meaningful the mods gonna delete it.

But anyway here I go. I'm an Australian white middle aged woman with daughters btw.

Young Indian men over here are most often over here for study and to earn money while studying so they can set themselves up back in India, and there's a bit of a perception that they want to casually fuck white girls during that time significantly more than they want to fuck any other race including their own as some sort of bizarre historically motivated status flex involving immediately boasting to their friends...also FOMO. They also offer almost nothing as an advantage over their similarly dorky white male counterparts who exist in abundance...and unlike their white counterparts they are working a zillion hours a week driving ubers or taxis or cooking food to buy that nice house and marry a nice indian girl back home so they don't even have time or money to be fun in typically local dorky dweeby live-in-the-moment ways like tabletop roleplaying or watching anime together or hopping in a car together and spending a weekend at an interstate event. And if you do get serious enough with one for marriage you're in for the lifetime expectation of letting a potential monster of a mother-in-law come live with you.

So Indian men are at a considerable disadvantage for very good reasons ..they aren't a great option most of the time. They are like the white nerds but with less time and money for fun, less chance of a good marriage, and far more baggage. Is it sad for the ones who aren't that? Sure I guess...they might have to learn how to differentiate themselves quickly from what people expect them to be if they are better than that. When they aren't better than those expectations? Oh tough shit you're a bad deal Ranjeet or Subhash or whatever your fucking name is. A worse deal than the local incel-heavy populations of dorks dweebs and nerds... that's a pretty damn bad deal.

There. Said it. Now you know the how's and why's of it for young Indian men in Australia.

avarciousRutabega99 · 2022-12-16T10:45:28+00:00

This is assuming that being white means shit in dating. White guys can still have huge physical flaws that make them unattractive or undateable.

LupeDyCazari · 2022-12-16T10:43:17+00:00

I dunno.

I've met plenty of Indian men who were having one-night stands or married to attractive white, natural blonde women, and it's not like these guys were beta bucks because they didn't make all that much money to begin with.

From what I've witnessed and observed, it's not the race of the guy that makes it this or that harder or easier to get, it's how ugly the guy or fat or scrawny the decisive factor.

Most of the guys who are Indians or Chinese or whatever, are failing with women not because of their race, but because these guys in particular are either ugly as fuck or can't lift a bag of groceries without breaking in half.

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-12-16T09:01:06+00:00

In the U.K. after the grooming gang scandal’s definitely Asian man unless they’re in the north of England or Birmingham/London.

Mixed race men are on an equal level to white men.

Chinese, Filipinos etc don’t exist basically in England.

It can definitely be overcome though and outperform whites the race whiners here just have other deficits about them it’s never just their race.

slamar85 · 2022-12-16T09:02:06+00:00

In the US, Indian men and black women have it the hardest as far as dating. This is unfortunate but true. If you are an Indian guy in the US I d suggest you relocate to NYC, Philadelphia or Washington DC. Best odds as there are more women than men. The highest percentage move is going after Indian women or black women who are open to dating Indian men.

ShortandRatchet · 2022-12-16T11:16:30+00:00

All moc do better than black women so be grateful jfc

I don’t really see Asian or Indian men struggling to date regardless of attractiveness or skintone. They are some of the biggest douches I’ve met irl (mostly SEA Asian tho, I haven’t really spoken to too many South Asian or East Asian people)

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-12-16T08:40:30+00:00

Things are changing for Indian guys.

I see a lot of Indian guys looksmaxxing and turning heads.

They dress and groom and go to the gym and it makes a big difference.

Urbantexasguy · 2022-12-16T07:31:32+00:00

But aren't men that belong to racial minorities, more likely to have a problem in ANY nation? I'm white, so obviously I have an edge in the US and Europe, but I wouldn't do nearly as well in India, China, Japan or South Korea, all high population, very racially homogenous nations.

Granted, there are some "sex tourist" nations, such as the Philippines and some parts of Thailand, where white guys are often seen as a meal ticket, but I'm not sure that should really count.

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social_mule · 2022-12-16T12:42:24+00:00

Depends. I will go to my grave firmly believing that no group of men face large scale race based difficulty in dating if they choose to date women of their own race.

But that's not the question you're asking, is it?

The question you're really asking is which group of non-white men are white women least willing to date, isn't it? You should reframe this as a Q4W or more accurately a Q4WW to get the best answers.

Title	which MOC Men of color face the worst difficulty in dating?
Author	DokiMin
Upvotes	14
Comments	94
Date	December 16, 2022 6:56 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zn8hkm/which_moc_men_of_color_face_the_worst_difficulty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/which-moc-men-of-color-face-the-worst-difficulty.1208092 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208092

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