Hi ladies,

I'm in a lot of psychological pain right now and just need a place to talk, as well as some advice for how to make the best use of my time while I'm on this break. I wish I had more women around me right now. My (27) boyfriend (26) of a year and a half told me that he wanted to try just being friends yesterday due to fear of commitment. Halfway through, he flipped and started saying he was making a huge mistake. In the end we agreed on a 2 week no-contact break and are treating it like a breakup so that we each know what we're missing without the other.

I (27) first came to this subreddit after finally meeting a man who inspired me and with whom I could pass a nearly effortless year and a half. The progression was slow because neither of us had ever been in love before and he never saw himself as the "relationship type," having already accepted at the ripe age of 26 (/s) that his personality was better suited to being alone. What I'm dealing with now is a case of "when someone tells you who you are, believe them." He's so preoccupied by the concept of "forever" and being with one person forever - almost like he takes commitment so seriously that he can't do it at all. I knew that he was anxious about this when we met, which is why I came to RP to help me navigate male fears and help me regulate my emotions surrounding what was reasonable to expect. Basically, I respected fear of commitment from a man's POV but wanted to learn how to keep him.

He knows I'm looking for a life partner, and he was putting a lot of pressure on him to be absolutely certain about our future, and couldn't do it. He feels too young and immature and just not ready to factor someone in. I saw a post on reddit recently describing this exact situation: guy in mid 20s isn't ready to settle down even though he's with his dream girl. FOMO, other priorities, whatever.

We talked about his fears and dug up some stuff I think he was trying to avoid saying. Things like, "I never thought I would be with someone until I met you, but the identity shift is happening so fast. " "I'm saying all this, but I don't know if I can imagine life without you." "I'm so scared because I can actually picture being with you forever." "Nobody else can make me laugh like you can."

We share a special bond and many interests and he seemed to think that we might be able to transition to a friendship model. I think I shocked him when I stuck to my guns and told him that we probably won't be able to remain friends. I can't be the girl looking for love who's still besties with her ex. He can't his cake and eat it too, and that's the purpose of going on a no-contact break.

That's when he admitted that he wasn't sure if he could be my friend either, because he "loves me too goddamn much." I think the reality was setting in for him. He repeated multiple times, "I think I'm making a huge mistake." Then, he referenced a conversation he had with his aunt (likely discussing his breakup plans), where she told him that many successful relationships have ultimatum periods like this. Suddenly he started talking like this breakup conversation was one of those periods. I told him that this COULD be one of those periods and that I wouldn't hold his fears against him. But that he needed to figure out what he wants. He said he would consider therapy to help him do that, but that's up to him.

I need help adapting to the breakup, because that's what it was. Most couples that go on breaks shouldn't get back together. My brain just wants to latch on to all the lovey things he told me but I need to make the best use of my two weeks. The right person won't risk losing me. ...right? I'm just so confused and so sad.