Is it worth it to have kids anymore?

JungleCatHank · 2023-06-16T21:19:16+00:00

My parents stayed together until my brother and I were well into our 20s and we're both fucked in the head so parents staying together is no guarantee that the kids are going to be okay either. Life is one big roll of the dice. :)

Alatornio · 2023-06-16T22:22:32+00:00

I love my daughter but I feel extreme guilt for her having to grow up like this. I tried so hard.

Would I want another child? No.

In the end I believe she is happy.... but will I ever really know? I guess I wait and see.

Reflog1791 · 2023-06-16T20:13:42+00:00

Yes. I love my kid more than anything. Her mom had an affair so I divorced her. I have no regrets at all.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2023-06-16T22:57:54+00:00

Kids are worth it, marriage is not. Without kids in the picture, the divorce rate would be like 90%. If you really want kids without the headache of marriage, find an egg donor and a surrogate.

UN_sensored · 2023-06-17T11:17:22+00:00

No, not worth it imo. In my situation my ex wife demanded I file for divorce, and she left the country and took the kids. I couldn't stop her.

From my perspective kids aren't actually yours. They are always hers, especially in eyes of the law. They're more hers than yours.

Plus with this society today you could be the greatest most supportive parent ever, but your kids will still grow up to be somewhat of a cunt.

My daughter is 5 and already she is bossy and greedy when it comes to toys and sharing things with her younger brother. And since I'm not there to help educate and calm her down, and my ex is a shit mother and doesn't parent them, I have no doubt my daughter will grow up to be a typical controlling type, possibly abusive, or she will dump/divorce as easily as her mother did.

My son.. I am more sorry for. He's only 3 and living in a house with no father now. He's singled out by his sister and mother ignores him a lot, and every time I finish a call on the phone with the kids he starts crying that I'm ending the call.

The whole situation makes me want to commit suicide, or I think of it a lot.

Medd37 · 2023-06-16T22:32:30+00:00

Paying a crap load of child support sucks and only getting to see my kids twice a year sucks (Army) and I move every few years. My ex wife had me get a vasectomy after the 3rd or no more hanky panky. Jokes on me. She never touched me again. Most females my age (mid 30s) either have kids or don't have kids and want them. I have zero interest in being a dad to someone's else's kids (sounds horrible) and I can't provide kids to someone else without another surgery (which I'd prefer not to go through). So yea....long about way for my answer. If i knew I was going to be divorced just because she "fell out of love and i work too much" then no...its not worth it. Because I found the wrong partner. I love my kids and if I had the right partner 100%

Stoic_Dad · 2023-06-17T15:50:32+00:00

This will not be a popular opinion / view, but one does not need to be married to have kids. I love my child, but the amount of contentiousness and how the court seemingly just accepts whatever unsubstantiated lie my ex throws out such that I do not have 50/50 custody makes me question if it was worth it. Were I to do it over again, especially in todays age, I’d have kids via a surrogate and have sole custody.

Of course surrogacy costs a ton, but frankly, the cost of the divorce and ongoing contentious and frivolous court costs would more than cover surrogacy costs.

Yes, it would be great having a two parent household to raise my child, but 1) that is only applicable if both parents are stable, and my ex was diagnosed with a cluster b personality disorder 2) if a stable two parent household is not available, a stable one parent household is better.

If you have the resources to do surrogacy, you can still have your own kids, maintain sole custody, and not be exposed to the risk that is marriage. Someone mentioned adoption, and that is a viable path, though it may be difficult to do as a single man, and the kids aren’t genetically related to you (if that matters to you).

Due-Ad4708 · 2023-06-17T20:19:14+00:00

My sons are my everything. It's the only thing that I don't regret about my marriage. My ex is a very good mother, and I think that we are doing it well. I wouldn't have more kids, and of course, I wouldn't marry again. Women's hearts and minds are a Pandora's box, I'm fed up with having to deal with them. I'm not a f*ing psychologist.

Xan-Diesel · 2023-06-16T20:11:42+00:00

I was with my ex-wife for sixteen years and she bailed for a male co-worker the month before our tenth wedding anniversary. Before we had our first son I was at the point where I was comfortable not having kids. I didn't necessarily *not* want them but I figured if it didn't happen that'd be okay with me.

My ex-wife told me she'd never be happy if she didn't have any. As you can imagine: I didn't want her to be unhappy so we agreed to have two. Now that I'm divorced (and I'm also a child of divorce) I can see that I shouldn't have agreed to have them. It certainly would've ended my marriage (she was already unhappy at that point and it would've exacerbated things) but my marriage ended anyway and now my kids have to bounce between two households without their Mom or Dad 50% of the time.

It isn't what I wanted at all. Like everyone will tell you: I love my sons. They're wonderful and I'm proud of them and happy to be their Dad. If I'd have known how things would turn out and I could go back to change things (and wipe my brain of their existence) I'm fairly certain I would.

redshoetom · 2023-06-17T00:09:20+00:00

Get an attractive, slightly recovered, drug addict pregnant. Have child. She’ll no doubt fall back into her old bullshit. Get her rights taken away. Bam. That’s my plan.

Professional-Peak935 · 2023-06-16T20:06:26+00:00

Adopt.

FindingMyPrivates · 2023-06-17T02:30:23+00:00

I love my girls. I have purpose in my life. Just try not to nut in crazy.

Title	Is it worth it to have kids anymore?
Author	Malaine1
Upvotes	3
Comments	25
Date	June 16, 2023 7:57 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14b6egv/is_it_worth_it_to_have_kids_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-it-worth-it-to-have-kids-anymore.1222441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222441

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