I transitioned to man when I was 26, and discovered his hard it is to be a man. Now Imma tell you men how to be better men.

vestibularam · 2023-08-07T20:32:20+00:00

Writer still doesnt get how society rips on weak men, young boys stop expressing their emotions because they are taught they are bad, its not the other way around, emotionally cut off is due to society, not the individual

Nicholas_VI · 2023-08-07T22:01:52+00:00

This is like women fighting to be members of Victorian gentlemens clubs and then immediately start trying to organize a bake sale.

elebrin · 2023-08-07T20:00:18+00:00

I realized that it would take years to build a semi-deep friendship.

Yes. That's the point. A deep friendship only exists when very extensive time and resources are invested. That sort of investment happens on the scale of years, not minutes. Meeting someone and unloading your BS on them doesn't make that person your friend, it makes you an over-sharer.

Talking about feelings doesn't make a friendship deep. It's like this person doesn't get it. He may look like a man, but he sure as shit doesn't think or socialize like one.

Vibekindddd · 2023-08-07T21:48:29+00:00

I tried basketball, this afternoon, for the first time.
Read my article and I’ll tell you how to get into the NBA.

valspare · 2023-08-07T21:35:40+00:00

Something is off here, even though male issues get addressed to some extent, it came across irritatingly self-entitled

free8765 · 2023-08-07T20:27:41+00:00

It’s this kind of bullshit that really really worries me. For me a role model is my father, he worked his ass off to provide, he fulfilled his civic duty, he loved his wife and he helped anyone who needed it in the community. He was calm, confident and always seem to know what to do in any situation.

Basically he always put others before himself.

Feminism has removed these role models from film, Tv and media and is offering up Barbie and Ken as alternatives. I do honestly believe we are headed for some form of societal collapse in the west.

biejodenthechoden · 2023-08-07T22:13:07+00:00

Yeah I really don't need someone who is a biological female, femsplaining to me why all of our problems are our own fault. What sexist garbage. Unfortunate as the points in the beginning were quite relevant.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2023-08-07T21:34:21+00:00

There's this hill on the outskirts of town. That's where you can go fuck yourself.

ConestogaCreek · 2023-08-07T21:40:29+00:00

They all learn. Life as a man is hard mode.

FlankFlunk · 2023-08-07T19:49:30+00:00

And I don't comment much, but I remember seeing this tripe over there earlier.

GhostWCoffee · 2023-08-07T20:45:29+00:00

Should probably take the advice he probably had said when he was a woman, man up. :P

TrilIias · 2023-08-08T03:37:24+00:00

As a man, you get to feel safe

Right, you get to feel safe, but you don't actually get to be safe. The statistics are clear. Women are the safest demographic in society, even safer than children. You are much more likely to be the victim of a violent crime as a man, and criminals often use weapons. No, an extra 40% upper body strength is not going to save you from a bullet or an aluminum bat to the head.

Women only feel less safe because of A. Their own paranoia, and B. Society values female life over male life (male disposability), and thus tells women that they must protect themselves, that they must be careful and make sure nothing bad ever happens to them, because it would be so horrible. We don't do that with men, men are deemed the appropriate targets of violence. It's not surprising that the demographic constantly told to value their life and protect it from harm are more aware of danger, and thus feel less safe, even if they aren't less safe.

You can speak up whenever you want, but not about your emotions, fears, or grief.

Yeah, we "take men more seriously" in some contexts and we take women more seriously in others. We take men seriously when we perceive them as threats and when they express agency, and we don't take men as seriously when they need help or are expressing themselves as objects. Truly novel stuff right here, glad he figured it all out.

I have the tools to navigate this loneliness. What I've come to realize is that most men don't.

This trans man clearly doesn't understand the typical male experience, how could he? I don't think most men feel so heartbroken about the loneliness, we kinda acclimated. I've had women act very coldly and ignore me (for context, I'm gay, no I wasn't hitting on them). It's weird and rude, and often made worse when their behavior changes once they learn that I'm gay. But really, it doesn't wound my soul and make me feel tragically isolated. As for male friendships, sure they're usually not super intimate unless the occasion calls for it, but that doesn't mean men are "broken." Maybe that's how men like their friendships.

I've had female friends where we talked about personal things (usually theirs, they didn't want to hear it from me, interestingly), but I've always cherished my platonic male friendships more, not just in spite of them "not being deep," but also because of it.

The brokenness of masculinity, how isolating it is, and how men don't know how to break the cycle. Women often are handed the burden of trying to help men with their lack of emotional understanding, and while I don't think that's the solution, I know that isolating men to figure it out on their own won't give us the outcome we all want.

Okay, I'm done with this person. Women are given the burden? Is this seriously the whole "EmOtIoNaL lAbOr" thing again? Part of the problem is that women are entirely cold to men, and as I mentioned, I've had female friends who were totally fine unloading their emotional state on me (once they found out I was gay), but had no intention of letting me do the same. So is that my fault? Was I being selfish for expecting women to handle my burden? The double standard is largely imposed by women, who seem to be very selfish with emotional space, and don't like it when men take up too much of it (which apparently means almost any of it). It's okay to hold women accountable. I know this person doesn't like doing it, but women can survive it.

ArcturasMooCow · 2023-08-07T22:55:37+00:00

Welcome to bring a man. Not what you expected I guess 🐮

EatM3L053R · 2023-08-08T03:59:01+00:00

"The way I existed in society was the exact opposite of how I move through it now, and with that comes privilege. I feel safer; I no longer walk around at night clinging to pepper spray. I've had to train myself to move out of women's way before they step aside."

This is still the thinking of a woman, especially one that never read the statistics that men are the number one targets of violent crimes, which are typically committed....by other men. Good luck with feeling safe.

"Before I transitioned, I had little empathy for men. And while I still hold us to a high standard, I now see the brokenness."

This here is called a grifter; 26 years of animosity and little empathy for men, but after transitioning everything became magically clear. Seriously though, fuck this chick, she can't play pretend and call herself a man after an elective surgery.

PMASPF226 · 2023-08-08T05:16:31+00:00

Seems like a grifter. He works as a self-help coach. These guys are usually the worst for expecting you to pay them to trivialize your problems and make useless suggestions. Many things he said doesn't really match up with my experience of being male. It's clear that there are enormous biases from living 26 years as a woman. Does it say how long he's been a man? I think it's safe to say that many of his friends are still women and those relationships are rooted in a common experience of being female. He looks at everything in the same way women do. I question if he's purposely holding back because he's trying to avoid being controversial, or if he genuinely doesn't get it.

I don't really like giving these type of people attention. These coaches always go to the media with these sensational stories that they know have a high chance of going viral, which is going to bring in more clients.

DontHugMeImBanned · 2023-08-08T09:28:32+00:00

This phenomenon always comes down to the fact that no matter the identity change, women always think men are emotionally stifled.. because they think what they are themselves is emotionally intelligent, when really they're just emotionally unstable in a world with safety nets held up by men.

Loud-Mathematician76 · 2023-08-07T19:48:39+00:00

why are these outlets giving platforms to voices of mentally ill people ? we should treat them not affirm their illness.

valspare · 2023-08-07T23:46:53+00:00

This is stupid.

Is she saying that a woman, pretending to be a man, who has never experienced what being a man really is, is telling a real man, how to be a better man?

What the F kind of dumb chit is this?

GTFO of here with that idiocy.

Nerfixion · 2023-08-08T03:02:41+00:00

"Before I transitioned I had little empathy for men"

Says so so much about this cunt.

yung_ting · 2023-08-08T05:41:14+00:00

All feminist women live under a delusion

Changing their wardrobe & getting some cosmetic surgery to look like man won't deprogram them

As a man, you get to feel safe, but you don't get to be a nurturer or nurtured.

It was our job to be nurture you, you clown - back when we weren't forced to work because feminists forced it upon women.

Also men can be nurturers too, they just might show it in different ways

EG financially providing, fixing broken things, creating a beautiful landscaped garden for the family, taking kids to sport, teaching them skills or passing down wisdom, etc.

It's funny how someone can present at a glance as a male

But just scratch the surface & it reveals the secret Feminazi lurking within

EarnMeowShower · 2023-08-08T01:03:11+00:00

She will never know what it's really like to be a man. The draft fears, working horrid physical jobs, Affirmative Action working against you because she's still a protected class, the urgency of an erection, performance fear, baby trapping fear, and on and on. Could she BE a bigger man hating bigot? I can't think of a way.

Wooper160 · 2023-08-08T09:41:15+00:00

becomes a man

thinks men should be more like women

Curious

under_the_pump · 2023-08-08T09:35:50+00:00

Fucken feelings? That’s what decides your emotional gender now? Everyone has feelings, not everyone makes decisions based on them. Some of us are blessed with logic. I can understand and empathise without having the same emotional upheaval and baggage. That doesn’t make me uncaring. Some of my closest friends and loved ones don’t outwardly show our emotions to each other but we’d still be there for each other’s sake if they needed. Rate my friendships bitches.

Nixthebitx · 2023-08-08T05:52:39+00:00

This isn't right.

Feeling is the primary part of being human. It's a facet that no one owes apology for, no one owes explanation for and no one should be invalidated during. When anyone feels some way about something and another person doesn't share that feeling, it's not for them to discount it... It's for them to shut the hell up and simply listen because their opposing feeling doesn't matter in that moment.

If another person is hurting, upset, bored or strained, or hell, even just happy, the least any of us can do is lend our time and care.

Women aren't simply soft & more deserving of this treatment ... This isn't an entitlement or earned feature... If the mentality is so 'we are women, hear us roar', then we can't preach 'but we're delicate so hear us cry without judgement or barriers, too' while restricting the ability for men to have the same allowance. Everyone deserves the right to FEEL and say their shit without another getting in their way or not supporting them.

This is an awful shame and I hate that we've failed each other in this way .. suffering like this on any level is inexcusable.

zeppo2k · 2023-08-08T06:59:55+00:00

Second time they've written an article about how hard it is to be a man, yet still refers to male privilege. Both sexes have ups and downs, but only one is privileged?

Significant_Idea_663 · 2023-08-08T10:42:53+00:00

So OP “ transitioned “. Who will tell him that all the people that matter in his life DO NOT treat him as harshly as they would treat a man? He is being handled with kid gloves as a transitioned handsome male and he thinks his life is hard.

Shdwfalcon · 2023-08-08T11:18:30+00:00

Oh hey look! Some clown who has barely any experience is teaching us who are literally born and grew up as a men how to be a man!

Translating from one of my country's dialects: being smart is okay, but don't act smart.

Retard thinks she is more knowledgable and experienced than us who literally born and grew up as men.

Zook-Cantaloupe-7970 · 2023-08-07T21:07:47+00:00

Wrong sub OP, I'm not clicking on or upvoting feminist gibberish.

Accomplished_Bed5430 · 2023-08-08T07:50:23+00:00

Go fuck yourself

DoctorStorm · 2023-08-08T03:19:44+00:00

Just...

Fuck this entire culture.

Fucking stupid. Fucking clown show stupid.

I hope herpes evolves faster.

AmputatorBot · 2023-08-07T19:36:58+00:00

It looks like OP posted an AMP link. These should load faster, but AMP is controversial because of concerns over privacy and the Open Web.

Maybe check out the canonical page instead: https://www.newsweek.com/trans-man-broken-men-1817169

^{I'm a bot |}^{Why & About}^|^{Summon: u/AmputatorBot}

adam-l · 2023-08-08T05:59:47+00:00

At least, now that it's a man telling that shit, we are allowed to call out the delusional outpourings of a twisted mind, no?

drtapp39 · 2023-08-08T10:45:49+00:00

Yes please tell us how to be something you have very little experience at.

Sendmeloveletters · 2023-08-08T15:42:49+00:00

Trans are a “protected group” men are not.

KusUmUmmak · 2023-08-07T21:58:22+00:00

clickbait/troll. didn't even bother reading the article.

mcmur · 2023-08-08T02:41:33+00:00

Sounds like someone cosplaying as a man tbh.

-Blueberry-1 · 2023-08-08T02:38:33+00:00

What a fucking moron

FlankFlunk · 2023-08-07T19:47:05+00:00

Posting posts from mens lib are we now...

ABlindCookie · 2023-08-08T04:48:39+00:00

He might be "a man", but sure thinks and acts like a woman

BigPhilip · 2023-08-08T09:10:04+00:00

NO THANKS

Sensitive-Ad6609 · 2023-08-08T10:12:29+00:00

I let it all out. So this guy is not teaching me anything.

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2023-08-08T11:58:22+00:00

Now write an article on your experiences on dating apps, asking women out in public. Describe the differences in how you are treated by women and men now in your day to day life.

Conclusion-society values women for just being women (they can make babies) Men (real men) are valued for what they can do.

Women have The Wall wake-up call when their inherent value to produce healthy children starts to drop. Men have their wake-up call when they start producing at a level above other men and start to stand out.

chakan2 · 2023-08-08T16:23:54+00:00

What fucking infuriates me about these...I'm in touch with my emotions. I can talk about them comfortably. They're just not the emotions the Author wants me to have.

Therefore I'm a broken toxic misogynist that can't make friends according to the article.

That's absolutely the root of the high rates of violence and suicide.

I'm sorry I'm not interested in having a hours long discussion on how onions make me gassy and irritable.

PrestigiousCorner607 · 2023-08-08T19:58:09+00:00

A fake male is going to tell me, a biological male, how to be a better man? No fucking way

RennietheAquarian · 2023-08-08T00:47:48+00:00

I hear the same thing from them all the time.

Relativity_Star10538 · 2023-08-08T12:48:38+00:00

I'm tired of hearing about all these alleged emotionally nurturing women. Everywhere I look I see dispassionate grifters, clueless self-sabotaging "me first" party girls, bitter middle-aged wine moms, and mean girls.

In other words, toxic femininity.

Eyeofthesoda · 2023-08-07T21:29:42+00:00

Cfunk_83 · 2023-08-08T09:54:31+00:00

As an educated, self respecting adult, I’d never listen or take advice from anyone that’s says “imma”.

Indigostorm27 · 2023-08-07T21:34:07+00:00

Op needs to fuck off

WxaithBrynger · 2023-08-08T13:14:45+00:00

No. No you will not.

Noonbright · 2023-08-08T18:38:34+00:00

Oi, stop being negative Nancies, y'all, that's someone who understands, and has a stage, is voicing things and being heard. A step forward.

somebullshitorother · 2023-08-08T00:33:36+00:00

His insights are solid; men have to call on men to do the work of undoing the stereotypes and limitations of toxic patriarchy and stop policing each other to be inexpressive, unsupported, undervalued and underdeveloped humans. Hearing the policing and shaming from women as well doesn’t help. But male culture has a lot to offer on this in the realm of logical confrontation, problem-solving and action. There are already male peer support groups working on this and a ton of trailblazing by gay men. We’ll get there.

Mist_understood · 2023-08-08T00:08:31+00:00

Being a man is easy. Men can be emotional, let a woman take care of him, financially as well. Or men can be macho. We have it our way.

Black-Patrick · 2023-08-08T11:32:38+00:00

Larping.

autumn09_ · 2023-08-08T15:17:00+00:00

Be stoic

SilverWolfeBlade · 2023-08-08T16:33:35+00:00

Yes it sucks, yes it's not fair. But that's why we are men. We are tasked with the burden and hardships regardless of how we feel. We carry on, we shoulder the burden and continue our march. We have the inner strength and fortitude we are criticized for. Let the naysayers and haters challenge us. Let them be, and we'll make this world and society at least acknowledge and respect our existance.

Be yourself. Regardless of all that may try to change you, to you be true.

ojonegro · 2023-08-08T22:24:52+00:00

This writer clearly doesn’t understand bias or how relativity plays out in his writing. “What I didn't know is that male friendships aren't as deep. Before my transition, guys used to open up to me about all sorts of fears, frustrations, and feelings. Now, they would keep it superficial.” Do you think, maybe, just maybe, because you are now a man but used to be a woman could be the reason people aren’t getting very deep with you? Gonna stop myself there before I dig too much further into this selfish piece.

BasicsofPain · 2023-08-09T13:25:26+00:00

Blah blah blah. One stupid cliche after another simultaneously claiming female oppression and male privilege while presenting himself/herself as the victim of both. Martyrdom at its finest.

Title	I transitioned to man when I was 26, and discovered his hard it is to be a man. Now Imma tell you men how to be better men.
Author	excess_inquisitivity
Upvotes	586
Comments	132
Date	August 7, 2023 7:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15kunzn/i_transitioned_to_man_when_i_was_26_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-transitioned-to-man-when-i-was-26-and-discovered.1227782 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227782

Comments