How to deal with feeling less attractive than women with Caucasian features?

wtknight · 2023-09-16T15:33:13+00:00

Removed. No posts about race.

mrcs84usn · 2023-09-16T11:01:05+00:00

A dudes eyes are often going to stray even if you had Caucasian features yourself. Men are pretty indiscriminate when it comes to nationality/features if you’re attractive.

Regardless of whether or not his eyes stray, if you’re good to him and he actually recognizes that, he will be more likely stay loyal to you. Bear in mind that nothing is 100%.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-09-16T11:28:48+00:00

It's probably just a breakup thing. In many parts of the world you are exotic yourself. Try traveling, honestly, nothing gives bigger self esteem than dating outside your own country

ModernCoquette · 2023-09-16T12:11:20+00:00

I’m the typical blonde bombshell type and let me assure you that we get cheated on too. Cheaters cheat and it has nothing to do with their partner. The most important aspect of beauty is enhancing your own features. Play to your strengths and forget the rest. For plenty of men, I’m their type and you’re not. For plenty of men, you’re their type and I’m not.

froderenfelemus · 2023-09-16T12:09:40+00:00

I don’t date men that aren’t obsessed (not literally) with me. If I don’t feel like I’m the prettiest, smartest, funniest etc etc woman he’s ever met, then that’s a no from me. I don’t get insecure in relationships because I know he’s all about me. No need to worry.

Just because people find Caucasian features more attractive, doesn’t mean you can’t be attractive too. It’s not a competition. Date someone who loves you for you, and you don’t feel insecure with.

Try communicating these insecurities to him though. If I understood correctly, you’re not currently in a relationship. Take some me-time, learn to love yourself. Watch movies / shows / podcasts / books / whatever with characters who resemble you. I know that can be incredibly healing for POC (for example) who weren’t represented in media when they were growing up.

AreOut · 2023-09-16T11:56:11+00:00

various men have various preferences, as a European guy I find some middle eastern women very sexy and feminine

DeJuanBallard · 2023-09-16T14:54:52+00:00

Stop trying to appeal to white people. You should be trying to look as attractive as you can, for your face shape and features, body type, skin tone. Try googling "(your race) looks maxing"

MxMaster9907 · 2023-09-16T10:59:20+00:00

I mean a lot of people in the middle east have green or blue eyes, i guess it depends which country.

You just have to accept it. Europeans are generally considered more attractive around the world. From south East Asia, to Latin America and even the USA or Europe themselves, being white is generally considered more attractive.

Just work with what you have.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-09-16T12:11:02+00:00

I think worrying about 'Caucasian' features just overcomplicates things. Nobody fully understands interracial dating preferences.

The bottom line is that as a woman, there will always be other women more beautiful than you are. And this gets worse as you age. So you will have to deal with this one way or another, and worrying about Caucasians in particular rather than the next hot woman of your own ethnicity seems like a red herring.

MrBrittle · 2023-09-16T13:38:13+00:00

Maybe the breakup blinded your vision.

Blondes are not more attractive in general, only for some people who have this taste, that is, the beauty of blondes over Middle Eastern women is subjective.

Furthermore, darker skin slows down aging, which gives women an objective advantage as their skin is darker.

Now. Maybe you want to be a little vain and take care of your skin, go to the hairdresser more often and do physical activities, so when you look in the mirror and feel hotter, and also when time heals the wound of the breakup, this feeling of yours end.

Good luck.

ratboi34 · 2023-09-16T12:53:22+00:00

Since you are middle eastern, what about a blonde second wife? She might help with the chores.

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-09-16T11:35:12+00:00

Make sure your father has enough goats to get you a new husband.

Workaholiconew · 2023-09-16T12:01:10+00:00

Just... control yourself...

You arent a teenager anymore, are you?

You certainly can see that this is paranoia, how cant you just go "oh fuck I am going crazy again, lets focus in something more productive like talking to my friends"?

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grillopie · 2023-09-16T11:02:03+00:00

maybe move to the west or east asia if you want the “exotic” treatment. or stay where you are. i doubt you’ll get dumped for the first blonde that walks by your next guy.

personally i think the grey, or really light brown, hazel eyes that some middle eastern people have are the most striking eye color i have seen. dunno if you have that but count yourself blessed if you do!

bifewova234 · 2023-09-16T11:30:58+00:00

You need downward comparisons to counteract the upward comparisons.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-16T11:40:29+00:00

self esteem

Yes.

It's the basis for all the insecurities you see in men and women here in ppd, but also overall. It's also the reason why we like and admire confident people. Because they seem as if they do not have the fears and negative thoughts about themselves that we do.

SuccessfulLibrary996 · 2023-09-16T11:41:50+00:00

Is this a realistic fear on your part? Exotic-looking people can only be so because they are rare, by definition. I mean, obviously everyone can have a certain anxiety of their other half running away with someone more attractive generally for whatever reason, but...

Warm_Gur8832 · 2023-09-16T12:17:04+00:00

I think a lot of the time, people simply are drawn to novelty.

So fewer Caucasian women probably makes for them to be more sought after in your context.

But I don’t think that’s really got much to do with actual physical attractiveness; MiddleEastern women are pretty!

controllrevival · 2023-09-16T13:47:35+00:00

First off middle eastern women are considered Caucasian, second, in my opinion, on average middle eastern women do look better than Nordic white woman, but that’s just my specific preference. A lot of white women are attractive but overrated in my opinion , due to how much they are represented since we live in a very Eurocentric society. Also, having color is nice

_Neonderthal_ · 2023-09-16T13:51:30+00:00

How to deal with feeling less attractive than women with Caucasian features?

I am middle eastern and since I live in the Middle East I find that men tend to gravitate towards women with “exotic” features which are usually blonde with light eyes.

First of all, men with Middle Eastern traits are considered less attractive compared to blond and blue eyed men as well.

Second, only above average looking Middle Eastern guys are even able to date blond girls, because of the reason I mentioned above.

So it's not even going to be a problem, unless average and below average Middle Eastern men are not good enough for you and you're only aiming for the tall and handsome Middle Eastern men.

Neptune-Jr · 2023-09-16T15:18:49+00:00

Couple of options here

Move to somewhere were you are exotic.

Take the risk that is dating. It's always a possibility that your partner will cheat or leave you, even if you do everything right.

Re gain your confidence and self esteem (Therapy, Plastic Surgery, Read a good book on the matter)

CountMandrake · 2023-09-16T19:17:53+00:00

I have this feeling that a huge part of this "Pills" stuff on the guys side and the FDS thing on the women's side has to do with an incresing multicultural landscape that results in lots of people of different races trying to cope with western beauty standars and the feeling that no matter how hard they try, they are always going to be on the low of the totem pole because of their very nature.

And also, and you're going to believe I'm crazy but, I believe the current racist sociocultural clima can be traced too (at least to an extent) to minority/POC groups thinking they do not qualify for the western beauty standars.

At the end, like the sayin' goes, everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power.

I've been reading a few post on subreddits dedicated to POC in the dating scene, and they all seem very fixiated on white beauty standars, privilege and white supremacy, and they all blame white men for whatever white men do, which is not helpfull to race relationships.

I think multiculturalism has failed in this regard, and has only build resentment, jealousy and feelings of anger, innadecuacy and contempt.

My advice would be to stick to people of your own ethnic/racial background, and stop thinking about what white people like, or how do you rank according to white women's looks.

This may sound like a very non-progressive thing to say, but honestly I don't see any solution to your feelings of innadecuacy.

Do you date white men? If so, why don't you consider that may be men of your own culture are more suited to form a long lasting relationship with you?

I'm not going to lie to you, yes, most white men have a prefference for white women and viceversa, but this is not because of racism, it's just biology. So if you have a prefference for white men, yes, you will struggle with lots of feelings of innadecuacy in regards to white beauty standars, because people tend to stick to their race when dating. I'm sorry that you feel this way, but this is the way it is.

If it makes you feel better, your feelings are quite common from people of all races, even the ones dating within their race. It's not any less demoralizing for a woman of colour dating white men to find out they prefer white women, than to a short man figuring out women on average prefer tall men, or older women finding out men on average prefer younger women.

I also understand that western culture is more well suited for women's needs than other more traditional teocratic cultures, and this can complicate things for women trying to date inside their group in the west where different cultural backgrounds happen, and they are forced to chose between a man of her own race who holds outdated views on women, and more liberal "open minded" men from the dominant culture, and that's also a rough decision to make.

And I also understand the quirks of interracial dating, and I'm aware that for one reasson or the other, lots of men percieve white women to be more desirable, and this may lead to women of colour feeling insecure.

Yes, I think white women are gorgeous, and if I had children fown the road I would like to have them with a woman who looks like me and her mother, and I don't think this is wrong or something I should feel regretful of, or apologize for.

And the same goes for you, if you feel that for some reasson the men of your culture are more attractive and better partners (or lets say, better suited for you, so we don't hurt anyones feelings) then so be it.

We are all entitled to preserve our cultural heritage, our ways of life, our traditions and, yes, ultimately, our racial features.

As a final thought, I suppose multiculturalism was about celebrating diversity, but it has made actually the opposite of that, and has only created lots of traumas and inner struggles in people that feel they don't fit in just because of something they recieved when they were born. It's disgusting.

Title	How to deal with feeling less attractive than women with Caucasian features?
Author	Cocolover99
Upvotes	4
Comments	28
Date	September 16, 2023 10:30 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16k43mq/how_to_deal_with_feeling_less_attractive_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-deal-with-feeling-less-attractive-than.1232000 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232000

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