My stbxw wants to have an amicable divorce without getting lawyers or mediators involved. Her idea of amicable is her keeping the house and paying me my share of the equity "at some point in the future" and us each keeping our own retirement accounts.

The problem with this is that she told me she didn't want to be married three weeks after moving into our new home that took a year and a half to build, so even selling it now would result in a loss after closing costs. So her idea is for me to wait until we get some equity built up before buying me out "whenever that is". Could be one year, could be twenty... Also, refinancing to get my name off the mortgage isn't possible either since we have a 3% interest rate and now rates are through the roof. I'm looking for a more concrete timeline or payment option to respond to her with.

Regarding the retirement accounts, she makes about 40% more than I do, has had employer matching options the whole time, and came out of college with less student loan debt than I did. So she has been able to save considerably more for retirement than I have. Her view is that she has contributed more financially to our household over the 17 years we've been together so we should just keep "what's ours" and I should be so lucky to have what I have without any debt. We live in a community property state, so if this went to court it doesn't seem like the judge would agree with her. When I brought this to her attention, that's when the threats of financial ruin and me not getting support from her family with our three kids came out (I'm not from here and have no family of my own here). She says I'm trying to "extort" her with dividing our marital assets evenly. How to convince her she's being unreasonable or AITA?