How common are men having "parallel families"?

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-12-04T14:08:54+00:00

It was definitely more common 50 years ago. When there was no GPS tracking and cell phones to keep tabs on people at all times of the day.

A woman I dated, her grandfather had a white family in Texas and also had a Mexican family in Mexico right across the border. He would work for 3-4 days at a time so that would be his alibi and he was able to support both families and neither family knew about each other.

mrs_seng · 2023-12-04T13:47:31+00:00

My father in law and his now wife.

My father in law pretty much cheated on my mother in law their entire marriage of 25 years.

In the last 15 years of their marriage, he had one stable mistress. In the end, he divorced his wife and married the mistress.

The mistress (now wife) couldn't have children (some health issue). It' not clear how much money he spent on the mistress, but he never had money despite having a good income.

The parents of our god daughter (will name husband and wife for ease of wording)

They had 2 children (son, daughter - our god daughter), he has traveling a lot. Found another younger woman. His son dated the woman's sister, but didn't work out.

He had a child with the mistress (the child is younger than the daughter's younger children - uncle is younger than niece).

Ran his family in debt, they lost the house. The wife couldn't take it anymore and killed herself.

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-12-04T15:15:21+00:00

Apparently such behavior has never been even attempted to prosecute under monogamy laws

Well, you're not finding this because having a family with a mistress isn't illegal. Monogamy laws are about official spouses. If you're not actually married to the other woman, you're not breaking any laws so there's nothing to prosecute.

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-12-04T15:33:16+00:00

I could not find a single scientific paper investigating this phenomenon.

I mean, due to the nature of the secrecy one must/attempts to maintain, there can be no study done WRT to this. We can only guess/extrapolate. Same as unreported rapes. You cannot accurately quantify because they are by definition "unreported".

Apparently such behavior has never been even attempted to prosecute under monogamy laws

Divorces?

bastard child

I'm usually not one to be the "politically correct police", but the term is illegitimate child. Bastard is offensive to most people. We don't live in the Renaissance era or under a feudal system.

Motherofvampires · 2023-12-04T13:54:00+00:00

My friend dated a man who was married with children. She split with him, but later he was convicted of bigamy as he had met and married another woman while still married to his wife. There were no children in this second marriage as he was caught and met by the police on returning from his "honeymoon ". He had told the original wife he was on a business trip.

So it happens. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a famous example of a parallel life.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-12-04T16:15:17+00:00

I can't imagine that many men have the time, energy or resources for that.

Just one family is hard enough...

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-12-04T13:56:49+00:00

The vast majority of mistresses or side pieces don’t get pregnant tho

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Onefamiliar · 2023-12-04T16:19:36+00:00

It's crazy that there is no research on this 🤔🤔🤔

I mean I guess there's the idea of sampling and also finding the guys who do this. It's not like they're advertising it lol

TiddieEnthusiast · 2023-12-04T17:57:24+00:00

Incredibly common in Latin America, especially the more rural areas.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2023-12-04T20:15:21+00:00

My dad used to work on the railroad in the 60s and he knew a good looking guy who had 2 separate families. There's also cultures such as Chicano and Italian where they have essentially a second unofficial wife and even a second house. Usually men with high social status and resources had them.

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-04T20:27:55+00:00

In this economy? Nah. In the eighties maybe lol. A mistress is probably expensive enough in the cost of living crisis.

macone235 · 2023-12-04T21:55:56+00:00

I've seen here on PPD several times women parrying paternity test discussions with notion of "parallel families" - i.e. married men having and raising children with their mistresses and supporting them financially.

This is not an equivalent comparison. Women do not "own" men, and they are not entitled to them. What they are entitled to is not being manipulated into believing their children are theirs so that they will divert their time and money into them (that is effectively stolen). Women do not experience this by a man having a parallel family.

How common are men having "parallel families"?

I doubt they are that common. With birth control, and changing social expectations for men - most men aren't going to fit into this category. Middle class men who get married aren't going to want to pay child support. Poor men won't have to, but they'll also be perpetually single. Rich men are the only ones who are likely to tick both boxes, and it's certainly going to be most common for them as it always has been. I think when you look at the vast majority of cases of children not growing up with their biological fathers; it's because a divorce/break-up happened, both people were basically single, or the woman cheated and another man is raising the kid. I don't think there is too many harems being ran.

Turbulent-Fig-3123 · 2023-12-04T22:48:04+00:00

Extremely rare in 2023 with modern record keeping and DNA tracing

At least in the Imperial core

SquirrelofLIL · 2023-12-05T17:20:23+00:00

This legit happened to my 46 yo cousin around a decade ago and is the reason why my mom told me never to date rich men. When they do this, they have a whole separate wife, kids, and house.

Maybe 12 years ago, a friend of a friend had an affair and he hid his love child for a long time because his wife had infertility and she would be pissed.

Title	How common are men having "parallel families"?
Author	abaxeron
Upvotes	3
Comments	87
Date	December 4, 2023 1:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18akbew/how_common_are_men_having_parallel_families/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-common-are-men-having-parallel-families.1240025 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240025

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