How to argue for Paternity Tests?

ButWhatOfGlen · 2023-12-09T15:19:47+00:00

"well darling, you know beyond any doubt that junior is your child. Wouldn't you like me to have that complete lack of doubt as well?"

WanabeInflatable · 2023-12-09T08:41:34+00:00

If you didn't cheat, you have nothing to worry about. The fact that you object makes it suspicious

RedcloudGeorge · 2023-12-09T11:44:48+00:00

Don't argue. Don't explain. You don't have to justify shit. Women will act like things are life and death when their only concern is how things might look to a theoretical outside observer. Because maintaining the exact right superficial appearance of anything and everything is one of their primary goals in life. They'll make men spend their lives endlessly jumping through ridiculous hoops for no more reason than that.

Any pushback on the test is just attempts to control you so that you continue to be a puppet in her lifelong puppet show. Have it done. No reasons needed. None given.

Newbosterone · 2023-12-09T16:08:12+00:00

Hospitals have all sorts of procedures in place so the mother is 100% certain that the baby they leave with is theirs.

Does a father deserve any less? Where is the equality? We would have a national scandal if 3-10% of babies were sent home with the wrong family. 3-10% of babies are assigned the wrong father and we have silence.

SnooBeans6591 · 2023-12-09T12:12:21+00:00

What I would say is that I decided to do a paternity test before I even met my partner, because it is not so much about trusting your partner than it is about trusting yourself to be able to know if your partner got a child from someone else.

50% of marriage end in a divorce, do you think they knew it when they married? 4% of men unknowingly raise a child that isn't theirs, is it because they didn't trust their partner? Trust doesn't save you. And especially when you are in love with someone, you are blind and unable to assess the situation properly, that's why you take such decision before you even fall in love and just follow through on principle.

A paternity test is less than 200$ to insure for an expected risk of over 4000$. It's just irrational to not take one.

EnvironmentalBuy244 · 2023-12-09T17:13:59+00:00

You don't argue for it. You do it without telling her.

If it comes back negative, test one more time with a different company. Only on the double negative do you blow her world up.

cruisinforasnoozinn · 2023-12-09T17:05:32+00:00

It should be mandatory, removing the factor of trust. Lots of people trust their partner, and wouldn't opt to get one unless it was just regular protocol. They're (relatively) inexpensive and easy to government subsidise, although prenatals are more costly.

I also think parenting classes should be mandatory. Both parents. Fines out their ass if they don't attend, and accommodation from all work places to support it. I'm very idealistic 😂

stanfy86 · 2023-12-09T13:12:27+00:00

They used to teach basic blood typing in science classes in the 70's, but they stopped doing that as too many kids were finding out their dad is not their dad.

Sir_Spectacular · 2023-12-09T20:26:54+00:00

"I want to arrange a paternity test for my kids."

"Why? Don't you trust your partner?"

"Nope."

Like why is it even a shame for the man to not trust their partner? In a perfect world, the thought of questioning your own child's paternity wouldnt enter your mind, but the world isnt perfect, people arent perfect. Shit happens, people have baggage. There are plenty possible reasons a guy could feel paranoid or insecure about his children's paternity.

Maybe he has experienced infidelity in the past? Maybe it's happened to a close friend of his, a parent, or a family member? Maybe he's paraboid about being baby-trapped, maybe he reads stories online about men raising babies that aren't theirs...

Maybe he's just worried?

It doesn't matter how rational or reasonable the worry is either. The baby not being theirs could just be a tiny, remote little possibility nagging at the back of his mind after reading too many Reddit horror stories. It shouldn't matter.

Hubby is worried, his feelings are valid, and if a paternity test is all he needs to asuage that worry, then wouldn't a loving wife who hasn't cheated want to give him that assurance? Wouldn't it be better for the relationship to not leave that thought festering in the back of his mind unaddressed for years building up into a hard little nugget of resentment?

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-12-09T11:42:04+00:00

The following orgs might have some good input:

https://ncfm.org/

https://www.sharedparenting.org/

Milk--and--honey · 2023-12-09T18:23:55+00:00

Even the score. Let her go through your phone, text messages, and social media so she knows your not talking to other women. That way you're both checking each other so it's fair

bifewova234 · 2023-12-09T20:54:32+00:00

Why do we have to get married legally? Don't you trust me to do right by you? Why do we even need the courts or the government to ensure that I'll do the right thing? Don't you trust me? That you even want that means that you think I would do the wrong thing. I'm so insulted.

hwjk1997 · 2023-12-09T22:26:03+00:00

From your other comments, you have a very good reason for being suspicious and you need to get the test done. I'm a small government guy but I believe paternity tests should be mandatory.

BurnAfterEating420 · 2023-12-10T02:25:17+00:00

Even if I trusted my partner 100%, I don't have the same confidence in the hospital to not mix up babies, accidentally or maliciously.

Naru4odo · 2023-12-10T07:00:52+00:00

Why do you need to argue? If you have doubt you can take the child and go get a private DNA test done without the mother's presence. If the private one proves your doubts then you'll then need to get a legal one that can be used in court. Then just present the facts and do what you have to do.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2023-12-09T12:37:58+00:00

Don't do it from an honest MRA perspective because that's not how we manipu.... I mean convince! :)

A child has a right to know their lineage (think of the children!)

A child might need an organ transplant or doctors may need family medical histories. Missing information of inherited diseases and conditions can lead to mistreatment, which in worse case scenarios leads to death (think of the children!).

If there's any doubt about family relation, it's best those doubts are cleared early on. If found out later, family can fall apart, and this is not in a child's best interest.

If a non-biological parent would die, it can mean the child won't be able to claim anything of the heritage. His relatives might be coming after it all. (Think of the... Well you know the tune by now).

EDIT: Here's a neutral one. Talk about how DNA-tests are improved, more reliable and is starting to become cost efficient (Conflict? What conflict? Nah, it was a question of technology and money)

Rod_Stiffwood · 2023-12-09T10:09:26+00:00

Maury Maury!!!!!!!!!!

Huntress_Nyx · 2023-12-09T18:04:40+00:00

There are several arguments for it.

1) a paternity test will serve as medical proof, which will be useful for the child's medical health history.

2) about the trust card. Countless couples trust eachother without a doubt in their minds, but a lot of time both men and women, will betray that trust. So it's not about not trusting or not loving your partner, it's about preparing for a very bad and probable scenario.

3) a paternity test will give the father the same amount of confirmation that the mother has.

4) with that confirmation both parents will be treated equally. And the father won't be treated as a second hand parent.

5) in the case that the father is a deadbeat or something, it'll help so that he won't avoid his responsibilities towards the child.

6) it will help by establishing better emotional bond between the child and the father.

7) it'll help by giving the father a peace of mind and ease any worry (be it a reasonable or unreasonable worry) he may have, leading to healthier mental/emotional health.

8) it will lead to better bond and emotional health between the couple.

{For all these reasons but especially imo for №1 paternity tests should be mandatory and their cost included in the expenses the procedure of labour has}

The only people who will reasonably be against it are

1) for people who cheat.

2) for people who want to commit paternity fraud.

3) for people who want to neglect their parental duties.

The only disadvantage is the cost,

but if one takes in consideration of the advantages it will provide and the failsaves it creates, it seems like a quite reasonable expense one can pay.

KD_Ram · 2023-12-09T19:53:09+00:00

In my case I can just play the "I'm sterile" card, with the paperwork to prove it. I would like to see anybody try to guilt trip me. I mean they could try but it would just give me more incentive to be a complete arsehole about it.

plus I would find it funny (sorry not funny, fucking hilarious) for feminist lurkers to try to tell me "It's still my duty to man up and take care of the kid or I'm an evil deadbeat" (funny how the overwhelming majority of feminists fully endorse this form of "toxic masculinity" don't you think?).

-edit- to actually give you (something vaguely resembling) advice. remind your partner that sometimes it's medical history that can cause the suspicion. plus what would happen if you had a genetic condition that could affect the child/ren.

brunetteskeleton · 2023-12-10T04:54:52+00:00

You are not wrong for wanting to get a paternity test, but your wife/ gf is also not wrong for being upset and offended at the implication that you think she may have cheated. If my husband ever thought that I was capable of something like that, it would definitely make me question our relationship, since he’s already questioning it himself via asking for something like that. It’s one of those decisions where you’ll have to weigh the costs/ benefits. Is it worth it to learn for 100% certainty that the child is yours potentially at the cost of your relationship? The answer to that question most likely depends on how strongly you suspect that she may have cheated.

Like if my husband ever asked me for one, I would let him do it because obviously the kids are his and I have nothing to hide, but it would 100% change our relationship for the worse, and I would no longer trust him for not trusting me.

trainwreck-4534 · 2023-12-09T11:13:18+00:00

Kinda depends on why are you even starting with that paternity test shit

(Edit: kinda funny how literally a man born with a pair of functional balls is getting called a woman and down voted because i just gave a logical answer, thats even in a mens right subreddit🤣🤣🤣)

Level-Studio7843 · 2023-12-09T16:47:31+00:00

It has been the case, in some instances, that a child is swapped in the hospital without the knowledge of the parents. You want to be certain that this didn't occur with your child.

zoxzoxzo · 2023-12-09T18:13:00+00:00

I've argued with women about this before and their final conclusion/advice would usually be something in the lines of "don't have kids with woman you don't trust" which obviously is a common sense, but ultimately useless advice regarding paternity. What if that trust gets disrupted later after childbirth? Putting complete trust in your partner does not automatically guarantee you that they won't cheat. There are loads of men out there who completely trust their partners but are unknowingly raising another man's child.

In my opinion, the best way for everyone would be if paternity test was done by default after giving birth. In this case all the drama and trust issues which spawn later down the line regarding the child would never happen. Woman knows that the child is 100% hers, and I believe that man has the right to know that as well.
I'd assume that only cheaters would be against this, but surprisingly majority of women still lose their shit whenever this is suggested

Title	How to argue for Paternity Tests?
Author	fan-to
Upvotes	47
Comments	79
Date	December 9, 2023 8:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/18e8zr7/how_to_argue_for_paternity_tests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-to-argue-for-paternity-tests.1240315 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240315

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