Anyone feel like men are being viewed as one dimensional in relationships?

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-02-11T17:26:56+00:00

I saw that video. I also saw all the reactions women were making to it.

It really shows how out of touch they all are. They really sounded like they think all that fake Instagram life is real.

Nobody asked what he did, if he was in school, nothing. Then they were all talking about going out on vacations instead of saving and investing. If he did spend all his money taking her on vacations he'll always be broke. Glad to hear he dumped her. He really dodged a bullet.

another-cosplaytriot · 2024-02-11T17:41:18+00:00

Not trying to start any toxic conversations, my point is , are any men feeling like they don’t want to take on that role as the “provider” anymore?

Listen to them. Why would you provide for somebody who despises you? We've got an entire culture of parasites now.

527east · 2024-02-11T17:28:24+00:00

Men are nothing more than ATMs just mindless worker bees for governments, corporations, women, etc.

Scary-Error4119 · 2024-02-11T17:42:42+00:00

Yes they are like time and energy vampires

Scary-Error4119 · 2024-02-11T17:36:39+00:00

Yes we are not respected and they are never satisfied..they laugh at us with their girlfriends saying we are useful idiots they settled for in marriage...we are not walking atm machine s...they want us to be superman.the tax man mechanic plumber...fighter man and fight any one that looks at them hard...they compalin about how hard it is to put a few dishes in a dishwasher ... goodness

Chama-HUH · 2024-02-11T17:00:49+00:00

Why feel guilty about it, live for yourself. Life is too short for us, we can’t spend all our time working. Our creativity has been lost due to unhealthy work culture. Rather than be mad that traditional ways are dying be happy and realize how much you can benefit from it.

I don’t care much for what women say about relationships or what they say about men so all this nonsense about “paying the bill” or being a provider means nothing to me.

tiredfromlife2019 · 2024-02-11T17:19:26+00:00

You will be seen as a failure of a man and will be hated. You just have to not care.

eldred2 · 2024-02-11T21:28:40+00:00

The case with all too many women is that we are seen as a penis attached to a wallet.

Huffers1010 · 2024-02-11T19:35:56+00:00

I make less than half what my partner does. It's fine.

If it's not fine, you're not right for each other anyway.

Acousmetre78 · 2024-02-11T22:01:18+00:00

I like how women say things like men are too insecure to date a woman who makes more than them then they talk about guys being losers for not making as much.

volleyballbeach · 2024-02-11T17:09:04+00:00

TikTok is pretty one dimensional in general.

It is ok to not want to be the provider.

63daddy · 2024-02-11T18:18:23+00:00

The issue is I see it is society is still hypergamous, women still want to marry up and be provided for at least in part, but the discrimination against men as well as other factors make this less achievable than decades ago.

For decades, we’ve been favoring females in education with twice as many women graduating from college. More women than men now go into law school and med school, but it doesn’t mean women graduating from med school dream of supporting a male nurse. They don’t, they still want to be provided for. Add to that we advantage women in job hiring and business ownership. Such discrimination along with inflated housing costs, decreased wages, etc., mean most men can’t be a sole provider even if they want to.

Men feel women have unrealistically high standards. Women are frustrated they can’t find “a good man”(can’t marry up and be provided for the way they want).

I think a lot of men look at this situation along with the biases of marriage and divorce and decide marriage simply isn’t worth it. I think this gets very misrepresented as lonely men who have no choice but to be single when in reality many men look at this situation and choose to not marry. I could have been married several times over, but it wouldn’t have been in my interest. I don’t feel at all guilty about passing on a contract that is biased against me.

Eterna_Caelestia · 2024-02-11T17:28:27+00:00

If you have money you're assho**-

If you don't you're a creep-Don't play the game-The "house/society" always wins. So let it Rot.

virtual_rice · 2024-02-11T17:57:13+00:00

Despite "progress" made by feminists, you'll find that they've done very little to challenge women's traditional expectations of men. They may have modernized those expectations a little, but only so far as to solely benefit the woman.

For example, a common feminist critique of modern relationships is that men don't contribute equally to things like housework. Aside from the obvious solution being that women should stop choosing those men, what they conveniently leave out is that the man is still likely the primary provider, delegated to the role of ~~protector~~ meat-shield, and emotional rock.

Depending on how old you are, the guilt you're feeling is probably best described as internalized misandry from having grown up in a society that gives asymmetric considerations to female needs without understanding male needs. Unfortunately, I cannot offer you a solution other than the ironically traditional advice given to men: endure and live selfishly. This is not to say that you need to avoid pro-social behavior but shake off the sexist mantra of "believing all women", which is in part why so many men take what women say about a man's worth to heart.

SpacemanLost · 2024-02-11T22:11:44+00:00

Funny enough, I was up late with my mother (married 57 years) talking about everything under the sun for hours, and we talked about what it was like dating in her day vs my day vs her grandchildren's (today). She had come really good observations, having lived though things like the introduction of hormonal birth control and the civil rights and equal rights movements.

Two things she commented on were having to be realistic with your options and your expectations of what life could be. She came from a relatively poor background and met my dad (similar background, and apparently he had serious game) in college. They went on both get doctorates and move steadily up and into the upper-middle class during my lifetime and were college professors before retiring 20+ years ago.

She noticed that her granddaughters seems to have an exponentially larger pool of men available to them, no pressures or expectations to 'settle down' and start a family, and are bombarded with 24/7 imagery of young pretty women living luxury/fantasy lives (not just social media even). All of which weren't there (or orders of magnitude smaller) when she was young. She also felt that young people today have grown up in much greater prosperity than their counterparts did 50+ years ago.

I think she identified a huge source of the disconnect between the old expectations of mens roles which have persisted mostly unchanged and the new expectations of what young women feel life owes them today.

However, as I observed with my ex wife, there is a distinct and seemingly deliberate ignorance of what it takes resource/money/time wise to afford the things and lifestyle they see and hear about all the time. In the case of young women, they often see other young women 'just given' those things (or just magically falling into them, etc) via our media and internet.

What doesn't get shown and mentioned are the costs (gotta be 1 top percent pretty and have the sugar daddies to wind up on the sidebar of dailymail dot com as 'girl on the yacht') or that the people are extreme outliers ('Read how Llana turned her side hustle making dog treats into a $500k a year!') or that much is fake fake fake ('stand in line for your turn to take your turn to take pictures of you sitting inside this private jet...'). Combine that ignorance about both how much things actually costs, and how few people make the big bucks (endless yt videos of women being interviewed and asked how much their guy needs to make to date them, etc..)

What's my point??

I'm just meandering on how did expectations get so out of whack with reality. When men, who generally get a bigger life reality check once they are out on their own, realize they don't measure up to a date's unrealistic expectations.. or sense that they would be traded in on a moment's notice for someone who could spend more/provide more status/been shown off better on instagram/etc ... I would think many of them both sense a rigged game and experience feelings of failure for being only 'average' or 'just above average'

mr_ogyny · 2024-02-11T18:59:53+00:00

are any men feeling like they don’t want to take on that role as the “provider” anymore?

I've always felt that way. It makes me feel like I'm being used instead of wanted.

Being described as 'husband material' is one of the biggest red flags. It means you're not that attractive physically (to her) but they see you as a wallet they can settle down with. Not so attractive means you're less likely to run off with other women. Then you end up in a dead bedroom when she can no longer feign attraction towards you.

In general, too many women see it as 'our money' and 'her money', are unwilling to provide emotional support but expect you to be their therapist, want you to put in romantic effort to make them feel desired but not reciprocate it, etc. It's all so gynocentric.

Also, it makes no sense for men to be traditional when women cannot be held to the same standard.

I'm not going to settle if my life is already great being single.

mrmensplights · 2024-02-11T19:37:32+00:00

Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They can't decide whether they want to live in 2024 or 1954. They look to the past and see all the privileges they had. Privileges based on societal roles they no longer fulfill in a society where they no longer make sense.

The problem is that the entire system has been redesigned for the success, independence, and ease of girls and women. As a result boys now do worse in schools, drop out at higher rates in high school, apply for college less and when they do admissions are ideologically stacked against them, make up a much lower percentage of university students, and graduate at much lower rates, then apply to jobs where again acceptance is ideologically stacked against them. The result is that in adult life young women out earn young men. Men are continually sidelined.

Yet, despite ideology you can not change human nature. Women will always seek a partner of equal or higher socioeconomic standing. This is especially true as they enter into their 30s and tend to exit high demand high paying jobs and want to have children. The problem for them is that when society is tools to elevate women at the expense of men, there are suddenly far fewer men that meet the criteria. Make no mistake, women will always view men in utilitarian terms. For resources, as a beast of burden, for social advancement, or security.

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2024-02-11T22:07:47+00:00

Women are, and always have been, hypergamous. The internet has just made it very obvious.

Adventurous_Health93 · 2024-02-11T19:30:05+00:00

Some men do and some men don't and there's nothing wrong with either. It's not a new thing, in america, it was the standard which is why it's perpetuated so often. There's still plenty of people out there who don't believe that though. It's not one dimensional, for people who choose to live this way they usually enjoy it which is why it's happening. People don't do what they don't want to, there's always possibility for change so no point in playing the blame game or acting like it's some sort of oppression men go through. It's all about surrounding yourself with people whose value align with your own.

Fieral60 · 2024-02-11T22:14:59+00:00

I’ve been mulling over a scary theory in my head concerning “why” women are working more, educating more, and surpassing men in society in terms of achievement, while men quietly check out. I think female existence is dependent on believing in the nu-societal contract and fantasy pushed by the corporate elite that men know is fantasy.

The scary part for me is that they seem to truly believe in the farcical post-modern mythology crafted by corporate executives and are willing to leave everything behind to happily become a cog in the machine, not knowing the misery that awaits them in the end, which men have known for a long time to be a false promise of happiness. I think it’s absolutely terrifying how happy they are to take our corporate masters’ mythos at face value EN MASSE.

schizophrenic_hermit · 2024-02-11T23:37:37+00:00

Men's role has been changed as years passed, to an atm machine, pay, pay, pay.

fuckinusernamestaken · 2024-02-11T23:53:51+00:00

That last paragraph is how I've felt my entire life except I don't feel guilty about it.

Life no longer allows men to be the sole provider in the family like it used to be back in the 50s-60s. The price for everything has skyrocketed but wages have not so nowadays both partners need to work just to make ends meet.

The "instagram lifestyle" is a complete fantasy but a lot of young women have been poisoned by social media so they expect a man to provide them with a similar life and all they have to do is show up.

It's clear that there is a disconnect and I don't blame a lot of young men from completely checking out of the provider role.

stent00 · 2024-02-12T04:06:34+00:00

I refuse to watch tik tok....some of my last gf were obsessed with it.

MacLogical · 2024-02-11T20:54:20+00:00

Women’s views on dating are getting pretty wild

BoringExperience5345 · 2024-02-11T21:47:28+00:00

Who is making the “Dating an ugly woman” video? We need volunteers

Mechanik_J · 2024-02-11T19:58:46+00:00

The thing is, only men have the privilege to be romantic. By that I mean women date, or try to find a mate, for survival. But not just the survival of themselves, but also the survival of their future children. (the idea of survival is slowly becoming a thing of the past, because everyone can live mostly independently in first world, or rich countries).

With all these posts on tiktok, I've kept asking myself if women date for love? But I kept being wrong, because women keep complaining about money on a lot of social media. "He's not making enough", "men should pay all the bills", and "men should always pay for the date".

I never understood why, until I figured out that for women, love is an afterthought to survival. The way that men date, or try to find a mate, is different. It mostly comes down to infatuation. And how survival is an afterthought to that infatuation/love.

RaveMusicMachine · 2024-02-12T01:04:43+00:00

Why be a provider when women despise you and the legal system is designed to actively work against you?

Historically being a married provider was a viable option as the laws were more fair and people had some respect towards this sort of man.

But now women and the elites have morphed the system into one where there is absolutely no incentive to be a provider.

Best to just go your own way (e.g. become a passport bro) and let the system collapse.

lu5ty · 2024-02-11T19:52:23+00:00

Cant be. Cash exists as at least a 2D object.

cracksparove · 2024-02-11T20:27:41+00:00

I blame their fathers

PM_40 · 2024-02-12T03:26:43+00:00

People often justify oppressive regimes and customs if it benefits them.

People didn't oppose Hitler and other dictators as long as they were benefiting.

Why would women oppose if men are willing to take wage slave role ?

sanitaryinspector · 2024-02-12T08:31:26+00:00

Not sure if it's about how many dimensions, but more that it looks like men being objectified in relationships as work tools is much more the norm than women being objectified as sex tools. If anything I see more women "objectified" as shrines and consuelors. Not because they're dismissed as something else, but because everyone says they're as good as that.

Own_Cardiologist_956 · 2024-02-12T15:28:10+00:00

The core of MGTOW movement is encouraging men to escape from the gynocentric Matrix and free ourselves from the awful disposable 'providers'. The society is blinded by gynocentrism. It always patronizes and indulges women. Women keeps asking for more social care, shun their responsibility from house work and breeding, whereas men are asked to keep all their traditional roles. All of this happens for one reason, the human, as any other sexual reproducing species, need womb and eggs. As long as human need a womb to reproduce, few things can be altered about the current status of men's tragedy.

richsreddit · 2024-02-12T19:15:20+00:00

Social media is a divisive toxic thing for us these days. This type of rhetoric being shared around is driving a lot of hate between people that otherwise have no reason to hate one another for whatever perceived or manufactured reason these TikTok influencers keep posting up.

solar-garlic1776 · 2024-02-12T21:18:39+00:00

It's always been this way. With the interwebs all this stuff is coming to light

TacticalTomatoMasher · 2024-02-13T13:48:39+00:00

Its just female idea of loving a man - i.e. loving what they receive from him. He himself, is just expendable tool for her.

Consistent-Check-525 · 2024-02-13T16:02:51+00:00

In my culture arranged marriages are the norm, and the man is meant to pay a dowry and all of the wedding related expenses, which is around 30 - 50k.

Even if i have that kind of money, the thought of paying it all for an overpriced dowry and an elaborate wedding ceremony gives me chivers 🥶

Title	Anyone feel like men are being viewed as one dimensional in relationships?
Author	JohnnyQuest94
Upvotes	186
Comments	61
Date	February 11, 2024 4:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1aoceay/anyone_feel_like_men_are_being_viewed_as_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/anyone-feel-like-men-are-being-viewed-as-one.1245133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245133

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