So why EXACTLY are guys afraid to talk to women and why are women afraid to talk to guys?

naughtyboy206 · 2022-10-09T00:21:09+00:00

For the last 8 years society has told men not to approach women. That women want to go about their day with out being hit on.

novasolid64 · 2022-10-08T21:26:23+00:00

That's easy, rejection

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-10-08T21:51:12+00:00

I think the approachee (is that a word?), being the person that was “minding their own business,” has a lot of social options, a lot of them can be bad for you the approacher. They can reasonably be startled, annoyed, confused, or just be kind of a dick, and generally a 3rd party will side with them if observing the situation. Suddenly you’re a very weird person who did something very stupid in public. You can return the bad attitude back at them but then you’re “this asshole who ran up to us and started talking shit” which is no good. So basically you have to accept that you may eat shit and have no reasonable comeback/retaliation for it, and a lot of people aren’t willing to do that (which I actually think is a fair concern).

icouch · 2022-10-09T08:55:38+00:00

Women aren’t afraid to talk to guys. Women are conditioned to be passive and helpless and they think it’s attractive when they make the man do all the work.

Men are afraid to talk to women because, again, men are bearing ALL of the pressure in most interactions.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-10-08T21:15:21+00:00

Connecting with the opposite sex is supposed to be the most natural, easiest thing a person can do.

Modern society is artificial and lost its default nature. Ffs there are now 63 genders, and nothing is a woman's fault even when it is, and men treat women like some higher form of life when I thought we were all supposed to be equals.

In the past if you wanted to ask out someone u like, the worst that could possibly happen is the person says no. Now you can end up with mace in ur face, in jail, or worse just because u weren't the person's type.

The good news is attractive women are starting to be more humble and approachable maybe because they know they hold every advantage and maybe feel they cheating the system. It is the average and below average chicks that think they are "boss queens" and "10s" that are the problem. An actual 10 will NEVER say she is a 10, but thanks to the internet, u got land whales with zits literally saying "Chads only" that is how big the artificially inflated ego is.

I am at ease approaching hot women, I am scared shitless of the average girls. I literally just offer my hand and introduce myself, if she shakes my hand and gives me her name, I will talk about something I observed about her, or the surroundings (normal conversation).

generaldoodle · 2022-10-09T09:49:36+00:00

Fear of rejection and shyness - this affect both genders. For men it also strong social message to left women alone translated by media. For women it is social pressure to not be seen as too slutty and easy. Also double standard in outcome when guy rudely reject women it is usually a lot of support for her, and criticize for his action. When women reject guy in rude manner people usually will support her, and mock guy for daring to approach her.

TransitionNormal1387 · 2022-10-08T20:58:22+00:00

Because going up and talking to women in public Is frowned upon by modern society, especially on online spaces like Reddit. Cringy/awkward guys going viral on tik tok filming themselves approaching and creeping on women doesn’t help either.

Will_Block03 · 2022-10-08T21:03:10+00:00

Porn and social media

beenpimpin · 2022-10-09T07:30:14+00:00

imagine society if no one had any fear and just did what they want without concern of consequences.

arkadylaw · 2022-10-08T22:19:31+00:00

One more reason - the vast majority of women look completely unapproachable, especially in big cities, whether they do so intentionally or not.

gantavya_ghagat · 2022-10-08T22:40:23+00:00

The real reason (and probably, most guys are not going to agree with it), is self-esteem problems.

Men doesn't dare to approach a women because: They don't feel good enough (to be as successful as her), they don't feel handsome (they feel ugly and probably they don't invest in themselves), they are afraid of rejection, they don't feel that they belong to their social level, they're not proud of themselves, they watch too much porn and feel unsecure or weird around women, they always find excuses not to do it, they overthink it, etc.

The problem with today men, is that they are complaicent, lazy and anti social (I blame, video games, internet and hobbies that keep men in their houses). I blame that men don't invest in themselves. I also blame that they don't polish their social skills and when they get a date, they don't know what to do.

Men are afraid of women because they have a poor opinion about themselves and create fake scenarios in their heads in order to keep their incorrect ideas they have about women and social etiquette. And also, they listen to other men who are insecure about themselves (Red/Black pill dudes).

oddfilterpotato · 2022-10-09T03:52:20+00:00

It's the rules

Myrrhth · 2022-10-09T08:33:37+00:00

I think that people are meant to live in tribes where everybody you know and are surrounded by is in your tribe or a friendly tribe so you feel like you have permission to talk to them. But in a city you're surrounded by tribes that you don't know, and you don't know if they're friendly, or cannibals, or what, so you feel constant low level anxiety and the thought of approaching a woman from one of these other tribes is obviously very scary because they 'belong' to that other tribe and you're basically trying to 'steal' her from them so they're going to kill you.

SafeSetsOnly · 2022-10-08T21:17:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

James_Cruse · 2022-10-09T13:08:18+00:00

Fear of rejection. Men fear the pain of rejection - but that pain is so much less than the gains of success. Men are hardwired to ‘Play to Win’

Women on the other hand don’t approach because the pain of rejection (to them) is so much worse than the gain of “success”. Why? Because women are hardwired to “Play not to lose”.

PreparationEven9190 · 2022-10-09T13:42:49+00:00

For me, it's this ingrained idea that I should "always" be successful when I approach. Because my father never taught me a single useful thing, and all my education about relationships come from movies and tv (where black guys are always smooth and suave and make women wet just by looking at them) and real life where no one ever talks about their failures. Even though I know it's wrong, my brain tells me that if I'm not successful every time I make a move it's because I'm useless and I suck. I know damn well that I won't be successful every time, but it's extremely difficult to break this level of mental conditioning.

Guigzi · 2022-10-09T15:37:24+00:00

when you get insulted just for existing (and not being up to a girl's standards of beauty) on a dating app (an app meant for meeting people) you think twice before approaching someone

ozzzy83 · 2022-10-09T18:02:24+00:00

Because it sucks to hear 100x stupid - I have a bf line, or to get one worded answers, cause it mostly feels one sided, not fun at all.

zapadz · 2022-10-08T20:50:18+00:00

Because of stranger anxiety or toxic shame

Alive_Shoulder3573 · 2022-10-09T03:30:04+00:00

One reason guys are afraid is because our society is trying hard to do away with masculinity and deep guys don't know to act if that is taken away because if you think about it, that's the only thing that separates men and women. Feminity and masculinity are the two sides of the same coin, you take away one side and then no one will find anything exciting or interesting with the opposite sex.

Find a club where a lot of guys might be and get interested in it, especially if it's a subject not a lot of women like. That will make you queen of the group with little competition for their affections.

Like video games, sports, even if it is just as spectator, you would be surprised how few women actually enjoy a sparring event that guys like

NormannNormann · 2022-10-09T11:55:48+00:00

"If you had ZERO anxiety in approaching an attractive woman, what would that approach look like?" --> If I knew that, I would possibly give it a try, despite my fear. But I have absolutely no idea what to say and how to behave. My social and communication skills are now very poor.

zertsetzung · 2022-10-09T06:13:13+00:00

Its going to be rejection.

But you keep doing it. Not only until you dont get rejected, but until you are no longer afraid.

Star__boy · 2022-10-09T14:14:53+00:00

Evolutionary speaking since humans lived in small groups, being rejected meant you were likely to be seen as defective to the rest of the group and hence unlikely to breed.

HotPieceOfShit · 2022-10-09T14:32:27+00:00

Amygdala

PacBoiLar · 2022-10-09T14:40:07+00:00

I think it’s about your mindset. You will always be nervous talking to new people regardless. But if you subconsciously add a sexual dynamic to the interaction, it will make you fear a deeper form of rejection.

If you approach women with the intent to just get to know them, without that element in the back of your mind, you should be less nervous. Women also prefer that type of interaction, and usually want to get to know the guy before forming a romantic/sexual relationship. And they will be more attracted to you because you aren’t as nervous. Once you build that initial rapport, wether in the first 2 min or and hour or even years later (friends do fall in love) you can escalate when you feel comfortable and can read wether or not she could be into you. There are signs she will display, especially if you are being a gentlemen, holding the conversation well, and are confident.

BigVisual5833 · 2022-10-09T14:49:10+00:00

very simple, fear of rejection and fear of not finding a girl like that another time.

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-10-09T16:13:26+00:00

I don’t want to come off as a creep that just wants one thing or embarrass myself. At the same time i also feel like a lot of women don’t want to be hit on/bothered as far as i seen online on reddit and tiktok. when i see someone im attracted to i feel like she must get approached alot i dont want to be just another guy out of the dozens approaching her i’d rather wait for a sign or something otherwise i don’t feel good about approaching or even asking any questions

johnBigsby888 · 2022-11-03T23:12:52+00:00

•Because it’s a WASTE OF TIME

•women today have over inflated ego, they brag and laugh with friends about rejecting guys, it boost their EGO so we don’t approach..we not boosting no ego of a narcissist

•MEN are labeled thirsty or creep…club/bar?? Women say the there to “dance” that they don’t want to be bothered, GYM? Same, they say it’s the wrong place..GROCERY STORE? They say wrong time too…it’s never a right time and place

•fake interest and then ignore our calls/texts…

•ghosting, women loves doing that.

Men are not some lab rat to be testing etc…WE ARE HUMANS TOO!…..APPROACHING is a WASTE OF TIME

Title	So why EXACTLY are guys afraid to talk to women and why are women afraid to talk to guys?
Author	SugarChey1111
Upvotes	30
Comments	80
Date	October 8, 2022 8:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xz2o6m/so_why_exactly_are_guys_afraid_to_talk_to_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-why-exactly-are-guys-afraid-to-talk-to-women.1248697 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248697

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