The Argument Against Cold Approach

theseoulplayer · 2022-05-09T08:37:32+00:00

"Sometimes things work. Also sometimes things don't work. So because things sometimes don't work, they never work. Don't do things."
-OP

Contango6969 · 2022-05-09T07:34:40+00:00

Value is relative. It’s not that hard to be the most attractive guy in a room. It’s very hard to be the most attractive guy in a city.

vardarac · 2022-05-09T08:10:29+00:00

You believe that personality is worthless because it is not necessary for the most moneyed or best looking men, yet discount the successful lays of men with little money, success, or looks that swing attraction in their favor based on their personality.

Why?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-05-09T10:40:25+00:00

Why don’t you just try it rather than asking here? You won’t believe it until you experience the results yourself.

Most average people can get girls in person than online. That’s because on tinder you have tons of options so it’s easy to not give a chance to the average people, and just try to get with the most attractive ones.

Photos also make guys uglier than they are, that’s because smartphone camera tend to distort the face due to such small lenses.

And if the photo is badly taken them you look even worst, so most people’s photos do not accurately represent how attractive they are, and tend to make them look worst. This just makes it harder to get matches in what is already a too superficial app where your whole worth as a person is your appearance.

However in person, the situation is different that’s because value is relative and people have more time to get to know you and see other traits that can compensate lack of looks.

So it’s easier to connect emotionally with someone who might not necessarily be your ideal type. In other words, tinder people behave more superficial than in real life.

I’m tinder you don’t have a chance to speak if you are not her type, in person you do, and it’s a fact women can be wooed by words.

So even if a person has tinder and a lot of matches as soon as they open the app, if the girl or guy connects emotionally with someone in person, then the other guys are at a disadvantage because the person you connected with feels real, whereas the person in tinder is more abstract, and might be a catfish.

In person it’s always easier to connect with someone than online.

So even if a girl has access to many hotter guys in the city, they all feel not real enough for them, and she will also be annoyed that most of those guys only want sex, which will make her reject those guys just because of that no matter how hot they are.

That’s why you often hear that most people find their partner in person, not through online dating, because it’s just easier to develop feelings for someone that you spend time in person with. Proximity leads to emotional attachment. Distance leads to emotional detachment.

So approaching in person is easier for most people to find their partner than on a superficial app, where men just want sex.

Granny_Killa · 2022-05-09T08:32:00+00:00

So please change my mind how cold approaching will marginally increase your chances than online dating.

There are many women who don't use online dating or will swipe for 2 minutes per week and by then you're already buried in the stack of 14000 other guys who liked her. Most attractive women, based on just the numbers, cannot and will not ever see you online even if they would have been into you.

kettlebell_workout · 2022-05-09T13:41:33+00:00

In OLD I barely get matches. And if I do usually with 5.

However, during cold approaches I can pull 9.

I am around 7.

The reasons for these results are the following:

1) in OLD you are competing with 1000s of guys 2) in OLD is very hard to DHV yourself 4) in OLD is hard to do peackocking 5) in OLD everything is slow, in real life you already met her, and you can straight go for insta date

However, I do believe that if I can make better photos I could pull 9 or 10 in OLD way easier than during cold approaches. It’s just those photos takes huge amount of time and money to set up.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-05-09T11:21:30+00:00

The guys that don’t do well on online dating don’t do that well in person too.

Wrong. I know many guys who kill it in person, but can't get matches on dating apps. And this is coming from a guy who kills it on the apps.

They either don't have a good profile or they are simply not that attractive in pictures, but give them a chance to work a room or approach a girl on the street and they will have much better success rate.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-05-09T21:25:11+00:00

Your overrating online dating. These good looking guys you refer to mostly have no game, and girls will loose attraction to them quickly. Women are mostly attracted to male behaviors and if you have no game, your looks won’t mean much.

Cold approach is about in person interactions where you can convey attractive qualities. That’s why it’s better.

Virtual_Sink4451 · 2022-05-10T03:25:36+00:00

OLD, IRL, IGM. It doesn’t matter! If you see someone you think is cute grow up and go see what’s up! Be a man of action

NineteenAD9 · 2022-05-09T11:17:51+00:00

The guys that don’t do well on online dating don’t do that well in person too.

This isn't even remotely true.

Being good at online dating and cold approach are completely different dynamics (obviously) and skills.

Online, you're trying to frame the highest highs of your looks, personality, and lifestyle to hundreds of women simultaneously. It also helps when you have a great Instagram. There are plenty of guys who are awful at this, but have their shit together and get women in person.

In person, you are simply utilizing social skills and confidence to 1 woman. It's a different game. There aren't many people who are good at cold approach, but there are a lot of people who are good at dating apps.

Standards absolutely change, because the setting and availability changes, and the mindset is different.

Online, the average guy has a worse chance of pulling a good looking women because of the volume of men available to women on the app is ridiculously high. Women have hundreds to thousands of matches available at the same time.

In person, there is a higher volume of attractive women, and it allows men more opportunities to get them without having to sell themselves as a profile or compete with as many men directly.

Rastaman143 · 2022-05-09T17:15:08+00:00

Because men nowadays act like beggars spare some coochie please? Dating and well most guys are pussies in cold approach flip the fucking script. The women in cold approach aren’t choosing you, you’re choosing them. If a woman isn’t attracted to you then that’s just biology not much to it. What about the women that are attracted? You cut a lot bullshit by approaching women in real life and women are emotion based. Online dating is different than you being in their face. Easier to show value in person than online dating. Any real player or womanizer will say approaching is better because they know women and it’s easier to get through to them. That’s the difference between approaching and OLD. You’re the chooser not the beggar. The women are the beggars because sure they have lots of options but how good are those guys compared to you? Some guys might argue well they got rich good looking dudes but most average women don’t actually have these guys. Rich good looking guys go for their equals not some bird working as a receptionist or a nurse. She’s average cut them from the pedestal

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-05-09T08:37:37+00:00

Online dating is just for the best of the best. Real life approach is also very though no doubt that but in the real world you can use more tools to attract people than just plain looks. It also a complete different vibe to talk to someone on real life vs just writing text messages.

The dating pool on tinder could also be limited depending where you are are.

Maybe it is different in bigger cities but in my 100.000 inhabitants town the pool of decent women on tinder is a mess. I have seen way more attractive girls on the street compared to tinder.

Shadow__Account · 2022-05-09T14:30:40+00:00

Please lay down somewhere and just give up on life.

Tiny_Ad8543 · 2022-05-09T10:29:09+00:00

The thing that seperates real life from online is that it is way more memorable, and approaching someone in person, let alone having a good conversation with them requires quite a bit of confidence.

KindredJars · 2022-05-09T10:53:32+00:00

Cold approach takes guts. Girls appreciate that.

TheLegendofMikeHawk · 2022-05-09T12:27:14+00:00

It's alot easier to make connections irl than it is through a screen. It's likelier you won't get disqualified immediately for something silly or superficial if you can actually speak and are comfortably physical right away in real life. In the end, online dating ends up irl anyways, so having all that ironed out is a must

JinkleBank · 2022-05-09T13:41:40+00:00

1/4 of the girls you wanna sleep with are potentially available. Shes standing right fucking there, at the coffee shop, and walking past you daily.

...Nah...nah lets talk to robots and girls that already have boyfriends who are looking for sugar daddies with money we don't have, and compliments.

EveryNizastar · 2022-06-01T23:10:36+00:00

By your logic you should do well cold approaching since you are one of those guys who don well online , no ?

Title	The Argument Against Cold Approach
Author	ResponsibilityKey427
Upvotes	0
Comments	27
Date	May 9, 2022 7:20 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ullna5/the_argument_against_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-argument-against-cold-approach.1260131 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260131

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