Do not ditch OLD. It’s better than Cold approach.

____Ace____ · 2022-07-21T22:09:16+00:00

Cold approach and social circles are the main way I meet women. I use OLD as a sort of “passive income” type of thing.

Being on the app is better than not as long as you look at it as a supplement to something else. If OLD is the only way you’re meeting women, you’re limiting yourself.

RSNK10 · 2022-07-21T21:54:59+00:00

Didn’t know instagram was a dating app. Anyways meeting girls in person is always better, no matter how you twist it. There’s something you’re not telling us about your “success”

Netherus · 2022-07-21T20:57:03+00:00

Your reasoning is flawed.

OLD plataforms are not a good way for a men to convey his attractive traits to women, who mostly look for confidence, social status, a sense of security, humor, etc, besides looks.

OLD reduces all to looks, more or less, you can still display confidence through photos, but in a reduced capacity. That's why it's more favourable to women, since men are mostly interested in looks.

Besides that, by focusing on OLD, you're also limiting your pool to women that match you. Many women who don't match with you could've become interested in you if they met you through friends / on the street / irl.

Having said that, I agree that the dating culture is changing, and we as men and women have to adapt to the changing environment. However, I wouldn't say OLD is better than cold approach, it's just diferent. People should be able to engage in both.

Turbopre2 · 2022-07-21T22:30:01+00:00

DM'ing a chick to meet up immediately is not the norm here come on.

5_7pickup · 2022-07-22T01:32:47+00:00

You know you can do both right?

ParticularAmazing112 · 2022-07-21T23:57:15+00:00

DMing someone and meeting up to have sex that same day says more about your looks than it does about your seduction skills. I completely understand everything you’re saying but this sub is literally for seduction. People want to actually seduce who they want.

Yes, online dating might be easier as you’re essentially just swiping on each other like bodies on display but there is some sort of excitement that comes with cold approach.

And cold approach builds a lot of qualities inside of you that you can use outside of just seduction. There is a reason for it.

grindforthegold · 2022-07-21T21:38:54+00:00

i mean i met a really sweet girl and we’re taking this week, but most of the time i don’t get lucky like this, and have long periods of not meeting anyone. cold approach can a be huge advantage when OLD isn’t working and generally you can pick up girls far above your mate value because your intial story is interesting. of course assuming you’re approaching indirectly, approaching directly is cringe and you’ll get rejected by most girls and the intial story isn’t very good it’s just like “he thought i was hot” rather than “we started talking and hit it off and went from there”

Jasonhardon · 2022-07-21T22:04:47+00:00

What the heck is old?

Total_Obligation_371 · 2022-07-21T23:22:50+00:00

So you use one single example, where the girl was someone in your extended social circle, to "prove" that OLD is better? When you cold approached, did you actually do high volume or did you not get great at it? I have literally NEVER met a single person who got good at online AND cold approach, who said that online was better.

If you had some type of data to go off (like how many approaches you did, how many lays you got, average attractiveness of the girl, amount of time invested vs the same for online), then we could take what you're saying seriously. But you're literally just talking about one single instance where you messaged a girl from your extended social circle. I can't fathom why you would think this is anywhere near enough data to make the claim you're making.

OriginalPostrSociety · 2022-07-22T00:28:43+00:00

Just because OLD works better for YOU doesn’t mean it’s better overall. You could easily just suck at cold approach or you could have exceptional pictures or something like that. That being said I do think you have a point that OLD shouldn’t be dismissed. It IS possible to have success on it because plenty of guys do it. A lot of guys assume it’s impossible.

Okcurveball · 2022-07-21T23:52:02+00:00

It’s 2022, you should do both. I see online dating I see as more of a buffer that sort of comes in waves. When it’s good, you can meet some nice girls and have a good time, but sometimes it goes dark. Cold approach is always there for you and you can have some more solid connections through cold approach. Also, just getting out and doing cold approach to some extent is good for you! Building a confident frame and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone makes you feel like a fucking baller.

jgaud710 · 2022-07-21T21:33:52+00:00

What if you have no friends or social circle, have no confidence, ugly, and don’t use social media?

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-21T22:20:13+00:00

it's true, i've had most opportunities over OLD, that said the only relationships i had were from cold approaches at a gym (shitting where i ate worked until it didn't) hahaha

Ninjaswagxz · 2022-07-21T23:37:51+00:00

Lol your not cold approaching right then… I’ve gone on 3 dates and a lay last week all from cold approach… it really is better than online dating for me anyways whereas online I would get mabye 1 date every 2 weeks or whatnot! Old just isn’t for everyone

djdante · 2022-07-21T23:53:42+00:00

I professionally teach both cold approaching and OLD

Online dating certainly can work if you’re average or above in looks. And the learning curve is much easier than cold approaching.

But cold approaching consistently yields far better results once you’ve reached a certain skill level. The difference isn’t subtle either.

I see hundreds of cold approaches and online dating profiles every month - sometimes it’s the same guys.

ChiIdishcambino · 2022-07-22T00:39:31+00:00

Tinder and bumble are trash. Any dating app that’s a stock is bound to be shit bc the share price gotta go up. Best way to do that is to get guys to pay more for maybe a chance to match w a girl

Instagram isn’t a dating app, you had the chance to make a move

Tucsu93 · 2022-07-22T01:01:26+00:00

What is OLD?

ftdrain · 2022-07-22T01:20:03+00:00

I have infinite pussy from OLD, its still sorta low hanging fruit (6s and 7s, rarely 8s, I dont go for below 6, at this point I should only go for 7+), cold approach is the way for the top quality girls in my experience.

Important to note that Im pretty close to natty peak and get approached by girls when I go out, so Im decently good looking and ripped. Also my profile is very suboptimal, all selfies, mostly gym pics and no bio besides height. I think that optimizing pics is key (im lazy). Watch playingwithfire on youtube, the dude is a 6, def not a 7, but in his pics he looks like he is easily in Chad territory due to great looking pics

cangero0 · 2022-07-21T22:56:13+00:00

This is a brag post

innergamedude · 2022-07-22T00:06:06+00:00

I soured on online dating, given just how mechanized and statistical the whole game is. It's a HUGE investment of time to get any responses and from there, do your favorite Sankey diagram of how many responses become conversations and how many of those become dates. You set yourself apart by being someone who actually leaves your basement and screen and meets people out in the world, where the people who are motivated to go out meet. Every woman you see online is being flooded with dicks and you can't even see how many.

All that said, I got back-to-back good conversational results going about a year and a half ago and met my current girlfriend on the second one. I'm happily in an LTR with her. If you're after a quick lay, this is not your formula. Though in my early online dating days, I did get a really great casual sex thing going on on the third date once. I guess it's really hard to draw any trends from such scarce statistics. Every new thing that I was going to try that would surely deliver me the ladies got me laid exactly once.

Most of my lays were from social/interest groups or coworkers (be careful with that one). My advice is just to arrange your life so that you're doing things you want to be doing anyway in an environment that will get you on the radar of any women who might be into you.

Also, I didn't have any success with speed-dating events, but I did find them a lot of fun. A woman who shows up to a speed-dating event has invested the time and money in it and wants her money's worth.

conker1264 · 2022-07-22T00:44:56+00:00

Wrong, old is fucking god awful. First, it’s way more competitive as even average looking girls get 100s of matches. You think someone gets cold approached 100 times in a day? Fuck no. Second, so many people are not photogenic or they know how to make themselves look better than they are where as in person you know what you’re getting. Lastly you can’t get a sense of someone’s true personality or confidence through text.

concernedad420 · 2022-07-22T02:38:38+00:00

Hinge for LA?

Tinder in NYC?

Are you in a rom com my guy?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-07-22T03:32:41+00:00

Its not one or the other. Do OLD, do cold approach, go to social activities, and do social circle. The problem with OLD is men outnumber women by 4 to 1, so while its very popular for men, not so much for women. So you need a really good profile to get results on OLD. But with a good profile you can get some results on OLD but depends on the person.

ilovefootball49 · 2022-07-22T04:23:23+00:00

Cold approach is kind of weird. Last like 5 girls I did this with deleted my number after I got it while doing this, and one time in my younger days I was able to hook up with a girl an hour after I met her doing C.A. Dating is changing

cronasminate · 2022-07-22T04:31:00+00:00

Lol the funny thing is no matter how much people preach cold approach I never see people actually do it.

I've been cold approaching for a while and I rarely see guys do it. Maybe I see one once in a while but it's not the norm.

Most of the people on her to who say they cold approach probably approached a girl once or twice in a year and then they brag about that one time.

Trust me noone is ditching OLD. It's like people saying yeah never put up with bad bitches, but guess what that's what everyone is doing still.

You need to realize what people say and what they do here are vastly different.

syntheticmedicine · 2022-07-22T06:13:26+00:00

What does “OLD” stand for?

AverageAngel2 · 2022-07-22T12:33:30+00:00

Why do most dudes struggle with online dating? I agree that many guys have subpar online dating profiles. But getting that ideal profile isn't easy. I, for one, have made a conscious effort to make a good profile by following all of the relevant advice out there. It seems that if your profile is anything less than ideal, and you are not a male model, then your success with attractive women will be very limited. There is simply too much competition from the number of dudes on dating apps seeking hook-ups compared to women.

OP, if you claim to still be getting success with OLD, would you be able to post your profile somewhere so that we can have a look?

Extra-Boysenberry · 2022-07-22T13:32:22+00:00

If you’re gonna do OLD, use Hinge

stalenmate · 2022-07-22T14:13:59+00:00

What’s ‘OLD’?

jjboy91 · 2022-07-22T16:30:25+00:00

On Instagram they don't get the message notification if you don't follow so it's a waste of time and energy

EveryNizastar · 2022-09-10T23:38:03+00:00

Dudes swear good pictures can make anyone look god enough to clean up online

Pure-Dependent-4335 · 2022-07-21T21:06:14+00:00

😬

booniedog1 · 2022-07-21T22:19:02+00:00

How the fuck are you even supposed to meet a girl in IG? I'm 25, I have 200 followers and haven't posted since May of 2021. This translates to my lack of good pictures on the apps, despite the fact that I look pretty good in person. Hence why I will do better at least in the short term, offline.

Let me go follow some random girls who share mutual friends with me, DM them and I'll tell you what happens afterwards. It's a waste of time and stupid.

Fwaygofrom63rd · 2022-07-22T00:32:20+00:00

Well you could give people some tips on good profile pics such as myself

GalaxyBrainU · 2022-07-22T00:02:04+00:00

No avenues of meeting women should be ditched completely in my opinion. The more options the better. Cold approach, OLD, daygame, night game, social circles, joining clubs, etc are all valid avenues to meet people, with results varying for everyone.

I will say though, that OLD doesn't work the same for everyone, and should NOT be your only avenue of meeting women, especially if you're not conventionally attractive. You can bolster your profile of course by working on yourself (working out, leveling up finances, traveling and taking pics of yourself in cool places or doing cool things, or even just taking better pics in general) but even then it shouldn't be your only source.

willgo-waggins · 2022-07-22T01:03:16+00:00

So how fat was she?

ScaryPerformance3872 · 2022-07-22T13:10:38+00:00

Imagine putting yourself at the mercy of a woman who has hundreds (if not thousands) of dudes. She won't tolerate anything, will have a gigantic inflated ego, and would seeking validation most of the time. Just because it worked for you with a single girl doesn't mean it works in general -_-

figosnypes · 2022-09-07T16:01:50+00:00

Was this girl by any chance unattractive or much older than you? In my experience, OLD only works if you're trying to hook up with unattractive women or cougars. Older women who have no way of meeting younger men in their daily lives will be very receptive to younger messaging them online. I'm 34 but I look very young, so I've had success in OLD with women in their 30s and 40s who are not overly attractive. However, for women who are legitimately hot or younger, I have pretty much no chance with them outside of real life social settings where their options are more limited and I am able to display my personality and social connections.

Cold approach does not work as well because it is harder to display a desirable social image when you are just some random guy hitting on them. And in order to further decrease the effectiveness of it, our culture developed this negative image associated with men doing that. I'm sure cold approach was much more effective 20 years ago before this came about.

dontbanana · 2022-07-21T23:50:13+00:00

Incoming anecdotal evidence. I met my gf of over a year on tinder. She’s a legit 11/10 in my eyes. We probably never would have crossed paths irl.

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-21T20:37:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Plug-From-Oaxaca · 2022-07-22T00:13:01+00:00

Why would you ditch it, it's a numbers game, use every tool available.

PontusOfMars · 2022-07-22T00:18:07+00:00

Use everything in your disposal. OLD, cold approach, social circle.

I have to argue that a real life interaction might be better for results.

Think of it like a job search.

OLD is like applying online, i.e. just a bunch of people throwing their resumes into the interviewers inbox. Unfortunately, unlike jobs that have ATD to better filter for the right candidate or have a cutoff date where applicants are no longer accepted for consideration, OLD doesn't have that. Furthermore, you're just a profile on a website. Just six pictures and a few sentences, no different than just being a name on a resume and cover letter. A girl fan sit there and get analysis paralysis from all the choices.

Real life is like skipping the application, the phone screen, and going directly to an on site interview with the manager. You basically have an audition for a role right then and there, as opposed to guys on Tinder/Insta. Furthermore, you're a real flesh and blood man in front of her. She's seeing how your shoulders will out your shirt, smelling your cologne, hearing the base in your voice. On the flipside, if she doesn't want you, you'll get immediate feedback, and save yourself yine wondering if she's ghosted, busy, or just fell off the face of the earth.

Now of course, OLD and real life have their pros and cons.

OLD sets ups an environment for people looking for a fast easy hookup. If a girl wants to smash, she doesn't have friends cockblocking her or distractions stopping her from going home with you.

Real life some what does the same. Nightclubs are an environment for fuckery to occur. Parties, dayclubs, bars, hangouts etc. The only thing is that, you have to do sleuthing to see who's available, whilst with OLD it can be assumed she's on the site to smash at the least.

You're gonna pay either way, through money or time.

With both, you're going to have time wasters.

OLD- Scammers, Instathots, OnlyFans models, catfishers, flakes

Real Life- Could already be taken, might duck out on you during the pull, cockblocks

If it were me on a Friday night, I'd go out to a bar/club for prospects, and use OLD as a backup plan if I go home empty handed.

Maybe the $40 I spend on cover, drinks, and uber fare could be dropped into a monthy subscription for Hinge, but at the same time, the opportunity cost skews towards real life. If I hit up the club with my boys, I can atleast enjoy the fuckery from a night out, as opposed to my money going into a black hole that's an app.

Plus dating apps nowadays want you to think they are trying to matchmake for you, but they lose their revenue stream if you end up meeting someone and get off the dating market. It's in their best interest to keep you hooked like a gambling addict at a Vegas slot machine. They'll keep making false promises to you if you just open your wallet up for one more boost, one more month of subscription, one more superlike.

It doesn't help that they also limit the amount of "approaches" you can make in their environment, nor can you filter what type you see. Imagine going to Hakkasan and a bouncer lines up every woman in the club, but you can only talk to 8 of them that night. Oh yeah, he also put the 400 lb beasts in the front that you gotta go through to before you get to the hotter chicks, unless you grease his palm. OLD apps today versus their states in 2012 are night and day. Atleast back then, they were little business ventures that had to rely on getting a user base to hopefully cashout on. Hence why you had no right swipe limits or monetization schemes. They knew they couldn't pull the rug out from under users, or it would be a one way ticket to bankruptcy. Now that they secured a large user base that sees them as a viable means to meet someone (especially during the big push for virtual dating when the pandemic prevented any direct social interaction), they've committed to squeezing users of their money.

Nightclubs aren't in the business of charity work, but the only thing they promise it that $20 will get you into the club and another $10 will get to liquor up.

Woujo · 2022-07-22T01:06:01+00:00

No this post is stupid. Stop generalizing your experiences to others.

mysterious_7 · 2022-07-22T01:43:30+00:00

Cold approach requires a lot more courage, and I prefer it. OLD takes out the bravery/anxiety from walking up to women you find attractive in real life. Cold approach requires more skill, confidence, and ability to think quick on your feet, instead of sitting on your couch on weeknight composing perfect text responses on your phone. You become almost immune to rejection after practicing cold approach for a few months, something every man needs to learn.

I use OLD as a passive hustle on the side, but warm/cold approaches are my main ways of meeting women.

Snakehead004 · 2022-07-22T02:03:17+00:00

I don't think that's old.. Its just random luck.. I mean it can work but you've usually gotta have some idea she's game

loserkid65747 · 2022-07-22T03:41:28+00:00

You know what you experience with OLD is called? Anecdotal evidence

justmots · 2022-07-22T03:46:38+00:00

OLD you can literally get catfished...like you can't get catfished in straight approaches...so nah dawgg...i'm good on your advice.

dagudzucc · 2022-07-22T05:11:55+00:00

What’s OLD

avm95 · 2022-07-22T05:54:36+00:00

What's old

Sharat55 · 2022-07-22T06:36:09+00:00

I saw your post from a month ago. Here's a responsibility key (source):

Imagine you are meeting with all your family members and friends for the funeral of a person you all know… that person is you! It’s the day of your funeral and all these people have come to honor your memory.

During the ceremony four people are going to speak about you:

A close family member;
A dear friend;
A work colleague;
Someone from a club or association you were involved while alive.

They share with others all the things they want to remember about you.

Think deeply… What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? Which values, contributions and achievements do you want to be remembered for? What difference would you like to have made in their lives?

If you carefully consider what you wanted to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

When you have a clear end in mind, then you can start decomposing your life to live the way you really want and have nothing to regret at the end of your life (see Nothing to regret and I was dying).

comeonmanpod · 2022-07-22T06:51:47+00:00

Guys who complain about dating apps suck with dating apps. The app isn't the problem, it's them. It's not hard to get more matches if you level up your photos, bio, learn how to open and most importantly, learn not to waste time trying to build rapport. Banter for about 10-15 messages, then find a segue to set a definite date. Easy peasy

sidbunch6 · 2022-07-22T08:13:17+00:00

can you share a screenshot of the insta chat? thanks dude

Friendlypotato101 · 2022-07-22T08:15:51+00:00

We get it buddy, you're tall and handsome...

DeliberatelyInsane · 2022-07-22T12:41:15+00:00

Meeting and immediately having sex is a regular Tuesday for us who consider cold approaches superior over OLD. Your one off success story is not going to change our opinion.

But hey, whatever makes you happy.

2022-07-22T13:30:41+00:00

what’s OLD?

4025808 · 2022-07-23T03:29:20+00:00

From my experience, OLD is better. You're there for a reason - it's much easier to hold hands, initiate sexual interest because you're there either to hookup or relationship or at least romantic vibes. So don't dismiss it. I'd still say use it as an extra thing on the side of dating.

Day9125 · 2022-07-23T08:52:43+00:00

It's not better than cold approach. I mean for fuck's sake. I'm 27. I've dated one girl from online dating and had to break it off because I constantly doubted my attraction to her. Besides her - my messages get ignored or I barely get any swipes. It's awful.

Cold approach might be harder from a social aspect but the women I can attract that way are often far more attractive than the ones swiping on me.

Nor can I market myself as well online. For men like me - relying on OLD is a death knel that will have me single for a long time - possibly the rest of my life. It hasn't worked out in almost 10 years of being an adult. I seriously doubt it will change.

Title	Do not ditch OLD. It’s better than Cold approach.
Author	ResponsibilityKey427
Upvotes	129
Comments	155
Date	July 21, 2022 7:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w4q2wp/do_not_ditch_old_its_better_than_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-not-ditch-old-its-better-than-cold-approach.1253898 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253898

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