Formerly overweight men, how much of an impact did toning your body have on seducing women in real life and on online dating?

Organic_Pack1211 · 2022-04-20T16:02:00+00:00

People treat me completely different. People who used to talk about my weight in the past now respect me and I do get A LOT more looks from women. Key thing to remember is looking good/being attractive gets “your foot in the door with women” so just being in shape isn’t going to automatically make you a pussy magnet…

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-04-20T16:06:04+00:00

Getting shredded (10% bodyfat, visible six pack, not necessarily a shitload of muscle but enough to not be skinny) will 100% change your life. I made this my prime directive in life for around 9 months and highly recommend it. Rip and tear until it is done (though it is 80% consistent diet and 20% training).

You obviously still need to put in the work to actually make things happen but the response and return on investment you get is night and day.

It goes beyond just getting girls too. You’ll be healthier and feel great all the damn time. People respect you more in general. Even useful professionally - people will subconsciously assume that you just have your shit together and take things seriously.

Btw I’m East Asian, and along with Indian men, we are a priori statistically disadvantaged in the Anglo west. Getting into killer shape is the best thing you can do to counter the stereotypes.

TH3BUDDHA · 2022-04-20T16:21:47+00:00

I had gotten down to 160 last year and was feeling a lot better mentally and physically

This is the only reason you need to exercise and be fit. Don't improve yourself for others. Improve yourself for yourself. Anything else you get from that improvement is icing on the cake.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-04-20T15:44:47+00:00

I know a dating coach who went from being overweight/borderline obese in his early 20s, to losing that weight, gaining muscle, and essentially transforming into a chad by his late 20s who is now killing the game (and coaching others on it too). Huge inspiration.

Yerebeets · 2022-04-20T21:46:12+00:00

I don’t know who said it, but you cannot be short, fat and poor. This way, you’ll go straight to the bottom of the dating market. If you are short, which unfortunately you are, please get in shape as soon as possible and dress nicely, have a career, and you will meet girls that would love to be involved with you.

And hit the gym, we don’t want you to be skinny fat! You can probably lost it relatively fast and this will also impact your confidence, which will make it easier for you to talk to babes.

2022-04-20T17:32:56+00:00

I’ve been both fat and fit in my life (currently fat, the past 3 years have been really poor for me). And while on average more women were interested in my cold approach when I was fit, I find that as an older and more confident fat person I’m actually in general doing better when I do get girls to go out with me. I don’t recommend being fat, it sucks, but if you learn to be confident in your value beyond your weight along with slowly working on fixing your weight, you can still get occasional results when fat.

A word of caution though, if rejection is a trigger for you to binge eat, don’t do cold approach until your fit or learn to reframe it. Weight loss takes a lot of mental willpower and the rejection of cold approach can erode at that if you don’t frame it correctly.

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-20T19:02:44+00:00

100% difference. I've been ripped, fat and ripped again and the way women treat a man when he's fat versus when he's ripped is a whole entirely different world.

I read somewhere that only 1 in 100 men has a visible 6-pack.

In the bedroom, women are far more aggressive and excited for sex with me when I'm ripped than when I'm fat.

I still get laid when I'm fat but the girls kind of treat it like a chore.

Get ripped. You almost don't have to have much advanced game if your ripped.

And ripped to women means get down to 10-12% bodyfat. Nothing crazy.

Soupblime · 2022-04-21T00:28:46+00:00

I'm shredded and still sexless so I don't think it's a magic fix for getting women

jjboy91 · 2022-04-20T19:26:36+00:00

Get in shape for yourself only. Plus you should be aware that minorities are not favorite on the dating department. Indians are at the bottom.

Speaking from experience, I had girls flat out told me they wouldn't date me because I'm Indian, I live in a city where the majority of people like 99% is white

myloteller · 2022-04-20T18:49:32+00:00

Huge difference. I’m 5’8” and went from 199 to 171 and I’m getting matches on apps and occasionally getting hit on at bars by attractive girls.

I only gym 3-4 days a week for 30-60 minutes. But I also take creatine and protein so the gains have been pretty nice.

Hook_me_up · 2022-04-20T23:05:04+00:00

I went from fat to strong and slightly fat. People respect me without even knowing me. i catch women glancing at me when I'm wearing a tshirt.

In terms of confidence, it's night and day. Just walking into a room and knowing that i could lift most people in there up the air, makes me so unfathomably calm and relaxed, its like I'm entering a room full of kindergardeners. In terms of seducing women, they often assume I'm the rough guy thats gonna be a menace in bed(which i am, ironically) and it helps me screen women faster because those women will make it very clear that they're attracted.

In terms of own desire, I'd much rather have the lean and shredded look honestly. Sure, squatting 300kg is cool, but its better to "look like" you lift a lot, rather than actually do it. Compare a bodybuilder to an average strongman. By common sense, the bodybuilder with giant muscles and low bodyfat looks incredibly strong to the average joe who does not lift, whereas the average strongman is definitely stronger but an untrained person who does not care will most likely notice the high body fat rather than the muscles underneath.

jessiepc145 · 2022-04-20T22:38:59+00:00

Bro being ripped is the god damn cheat code, and especially at the gym with women you see frequently. That plus some self tlc, a good haircut and confidence and you’re golden.

5’7, so I get it bro, just stay consistent!

heretolearnsth · 2022-04-20T15:39:54+00:00

you'll hear 2 kinds of responses , sir :

1- yeah bro since i got in shape bitches started giving me choosing signals i'm now drowning in pussy but when i was over-weight life was a nightmare

2-no bro looks don't matter , fix your confidence first & lose weight in moderation because of yourself.

True answer is U have to do it for yourself if you're interested in it , and only because of respecting yourself & following your passion & since you're indian , i can promise if your primary motivation is "women" you'll turn into a blackpill sad lonely dude , do it but do it cause men has to respect themselves & reach their peak potential , no other shit .

If you're asking about success with women? you should have success when super skinny , fat & fit . "i have to lose 30 lb first" isn't a good excuse for not approaching & lack of balls.

marks1995 · 2022-04-20T18:11:55+00:00

90% of it is going to be your improved confidence, not how you actually look to them.

I'm older and even getting down to a muscular 200 lbs, but still soft around the edges has gotten me tons of compliments from women. Even to the point where I have been approached in the grocery store.

I'm married, so that doesn't matter to me, but it has absolutely boosted my confidence and how I carry myself.

PullHerMando · 2022-04-20T16:44:35+00:00

The biggest factor lol

bytheninedivines · 2022-04-20T17:43:34+00:00

Also 5'6, I'm trying to get down to 140 as well. Let's do it!

Popular_Chapter · 2022-04-21T04:46:10+00:00

From an ex skinny-fat guy who now has a bit of a four pack, I think I can safely say, having a toned body doesn't actually matter too much but have a slim and defined looking face does.

I can't speak for other men, but whenever I start to lose fat it usually comes from my face first and this can leave me looking a bit out of proportion with a defined face and fat abs.

Anyway, my point is from my experience a toned body doesn't really matter because it's not going to be seen when you are dating girls (however the face will) and; if you and the girl are going to have sex then that means she already likes you enough to be having sex with you in the first place and it's not like when you take your shirt off she's going to be thinking "omg this guy isn't toned i don't want to have sex with him"

But I have found being toned helps with your own self confidence when it comes to dating girls and you will feel more comfortable and confident in yourself which is what girls like in a guy

WickedThumb · 2022-04-21T04:56:32+00:00

Went from 10~ likes over a month to 99+ in a week.

alayg2007 · 2022-04-21T01:51:20+00:00

Wife of a bald, 190/200lbs (previously 300lbs) 5’10” man… his game is unmatched. We’ve been together for almost 15 years and his words alone can make blush. It’s not at all about looks, it’s all about the confidence and kindness you give off

Contango6969 · 2022-04-20T21:42:52+00:00

Yeah it helps a lot. As to the question of what percentage of that is just your own confidence and self perception and how much of it is from the girl, I dont have a good answer. Probably more to do with your confidence but definitely a mix of both.

2022-04-21T00:47:50+00:00

Definitely 110%. It's not just for women, but it really positively impacts a man's life.

2022-04-21T01:43:40+00:00

I was a bit overweight at one point, and then I just got shredded by going to the gym religiously every day, lifting weights for an hour and then half an hour of cardio. Made good use of a gym membership. Went on a diet as well.

Yes, the difference it makes is huge. Assuming you then go and meet women of course and don't spend forever in the gym. Also don't do anything stupid like steroids. You want to look healthy, and not like the incredible hulk. I have seen guys - huge rugby players - built like houses - actually scare some women off. You will probably never get *that* big, but the point is that it's not the be all and end all of attraction.

I will say that being in good shape at least gets your foot in the door with a lot of women, but you will still need some skill to direct things to the bedroom. So it shouldn't be the only self-improvement you work on.

suicidal0snac · 2022-04-21T04:30:34+00:00

Don't do it for women, do it for yourself or else you'll end up putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Also trust me women care alot about good hygiene and dressing sense more than a buff body. Take care of your skin, wear deoderant and a Cologne, grooming your facial hair ,dressing according to your body type etc. Things like this would help. Ofcourse it's a plus to have a great body but Im pretty sure putting all the effort into a perfect body would go to waste if you don't do the grooming and presentation part well.

Designer-Stranger155 · 2022-04-21T04:30:47+00:00

I’ve lost over 60 lbs, gained it back, then lost about 75lbs (not at all ripped or anything) I don’t know if more woman are actually into me, but they definitely seem to enjoy sex with me more when I am fit (or kinda fit).

DeliberatelyInsane · 2022-04-21T06:28:34+00:00

Best part about it is the boost your confidence gets when you are in good shape. I went from a 110 kgs to 80 kgs within a year (I am 6’01” and 80 is pretty good for me) and it was awesome for my image of self and it showed during my interactions with the hunnies

rushopolisOF · 2022-04-21T00:25:16+00:00

Although I am currently overweight, I used to be obese. After 6 months of dieting and exercising in preparation for joining the Navy, I've observed changes in my face and body, as well as how others treat me. I normally avoid approaching women because I assume they would prefer not to be approached. However, following months of body recomposition, I've noticed an increase in the number of ladies approaching me. My neighbors and coworkers will remark on how much weight I've shed and how good I look now. I've noticed female strangers gazing at me in ways there weren't before. Men and women exchanged more smiles, waves, and pleasantries. On top of that, I've had groups of girls my age (20 btw) approach me and ask me questions about the school I go to, my studies and what I do for fun. Same with older women(40+), but with a lot more touching. Quite a few older women have caressed my face, told me how "handsome/gorgeous/adorable" I am, and rubbed on my chest and shoulders while talking to me which gave me the weirdest feeling.

Now I'm worried about the future because it's getting hard to handle. I don't like the sound of my voice so I choose to speak less and resort to smiling, nodding and laughing but that can only get me so far. I find it difficult to capitalize on this opportunity because I struggle with being direct.

rhajin1999 · 2022-04-21T04:16:24+00:00

Your body is 10% - confidence is 90%

jimmyjohnatbillybob · 2022-04-21T01:03:51+00:00

Zero, losing weight doesn’t make you attractive. If your face is ugly you will still be ugly after you lose the weight.

Title	Formerly overweight men, how much of an impact did toning your body have on seducing women in real life and on online dating?
Author	Global-Bridge-6787
Upvotes	126
Comments	65
Date	April 20, 2022 3:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u7z5s0/formerly_overweight_men_how_much_of_an_impact_did/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/formerly-overweight-men-how-much-of-an-impact-did.1261614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261614

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