imma be honest it seems like you need to be a narcissist in order to be attractive

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-03-29T15:28:10+00:00

I wouldn’t say you have to be a narcissist, but I believe you have to have an authentic belief that they’re lucky to be with you. Doesn’t mean you can’t be appreciate and respect the other person, but if you feel like the person you’re with holds all the cards, you’ll be needy.

Humility and timidity are not one in the same. You can believe you’re a catch but still be humble.

zxhjjjk · 2022-03-29T15:38:50+00:00

People are attracted to confidence. If you can make anything look good, sound good, make other people feel good, people hang around

max_insa · 2022-03-29T15:02:17+00:00

The thing about valuing family, emotional vulnerability and so on is that most people do it from a position of scarcity and not from abundance. They do it as a QUICK FIX for something that's fucked up about themselves.

- Want a stable life because unable to handle discomfort? Try hard to fund a family.

- Hate being single because too afraid to approach women? Be a caring nice guy to make up for it so she hopefully won't leave you (she will anyways).

- Can't handle your emotions like a grown-up? Find a woman to be your emotional crutch whenever you're down.

- Unable to handle rejection? Work a boring 9to5 and only date friends of friends.

Your low self-esteem is screwing up your perception of the world and I highly encourage you to stop seeing being nice and timid as a "normal" way to be.

Girls are attracted to successful men who are not afraid of confrontation, and that never changed since prehistoric times.

MudFlaky · 2022-03-29T14:25:25+00:00

Humans are not some special snowflakes. We're literally monkeys. To win a mate you have to hunt and present.

Snakehead004 · 2022-03-29T16:07:54+00:00

I don't even know where to begin here:

emotional vulnerability

This is probably the most attractive feature when combined with confidence and living your best life. If she's acting like you're low value it's probably because you're not confident or are obviously lacking in sexual prowess or not an interesting dynamic person..

Why does it seem like women only like jerks more than ever?

I'd argue the opposite. I feel like women appreciate vulnerability more than ever. Even 10-15 years ago society was even more patriarchal in almsot every way

People like being around arrogant, self centred, delusional pricks.

I believe you're associating with the wrong people. I don't see these qualities in the people I hang with. Where do you live?

mjornir · 2022-03-29T16:40:23+00:00

Not necessarily. But you do have to have a focus that’s not on a partner. Whether that’s your well-being, or self-improvement, or a hobby, or friendships/family, or a mission/cause, is up to you. But treating a specific person as your primary concern is counterproductive, because they’ll pick up on the desperation.

2022-03-29T15:29:02+00:00

Ig you want to find a narcissistic women yes. If your goal is just to have sex left and right yep

PeachStrings · 2022-03-29T15:43:59+00:00

Have you read the book Models by Mark Manson, he covers this topic in depth in it

StereoFood · 2022-03-29T14:19:15+00:00

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shucktheshmuck · 2022-03-29T14:37:21+00:00

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2022-03-29T15:35:44+00:00

We live in a society where being a good person ain't that good. Read that again.

mrrooftops · 2022-03-29T16:50:27+00:00

And a psychopath to not get oneitis ;)

Demonarke · 2022-03-29T17:25:22+00:00

I'm afraid you are right OP, I started getting laid when I started treating women like they weren't important to me, the thing is that a woman needs to feel that she deserves you, not the other way around, which often leads to girls being attracted to bad boys because bad boys like to treat women like garbage.

To people who say you can be nice as long as you are confident, well I dunno, maybe I did it wrong but when I tried to act nice but confident I barely got any results, it's when I started teasing the shit out of women and making them feel like I cared more about my shoes than them than I started really getting some results.

I think that women love feeling strong emotions, even if it's negative, the modern woman has access to sex like never before, at the swipe of a finger she can get laid with almost every guy, which makes her bored of most men, so when you actually show her that you are not like these other guys, and that you wouldn't sell your mother to get a taste of her coochie, that's when she shows interest.

Ok_Commission1263 · 2022-03-29T17:46:00+00:00

You got to be a narcissist to win in life in general you think the best business men get to being 1 being good nope it's all about you you'll do nearly anything and everything to be 1 and get what you want with total disregard of anything and anyone but yourself being good hearted will get you nothing but stepped on so you either adapt or stay where you are

No-Department6252 · 2022-03-29T16:14:33+00:00

women don't like bad boys. they like attractive men, and attractive men don't feel the need to be nice to women because of how many options they have. become more attractive and then voluntarily choose to be kind to women. that is the ideal man

Mikkster643 · 2022-03-29T15:46:29+00:00

Oh yeah facts

shucktheshmuck · 2022-03-29T15:59:57+00:00

I think it goes like this... Men used to generally be unemotional (outwardly) and more of what you are describing in this post... At least generally.

Whilst some men were more sensitive, and this made women more attracted to this side of men, as it was something that had to be dug for and was a rarity.

However, nowadays most men are generally more sensitve. So women are generally fascinated by the guys who arent.

Or at least in the early stages of adulthood till men and women alike need to be more focused on sustainability of self/family, over having interactions (sexual or romantic) with the most attractive people possible.

But I dont know too much, so take that as you will; essentially, in my opinion, novelty is a key factor.

2022-03-29T16:27:35+00:00

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Infinite_Net_5075 · 2022-03-29T16:47:30+00:00

I was thinking the same thing yesterday.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-03-29T16:57:05+00:00

You just need to have enough confidence to approach women and have conversations with them, whilst also being physically attractive. Narcissism is not a requirement.

falseaccount94 · 2022-03-29T16:58:34+00:00

I have a feeling you should travel more when you get the chance and maybe a bit of therapy!?( Im saying maybe changing your physical or mental setting or view may help.) Im not joking or being silly. Don't be so negative and lover your expectations and enjoy your alone time. And try to have a bit more fun in life . ❤️

Key_Exchange555 · 2022-03-29T17:02:08+00:00

This is why I don’t want to date because I don’t want to date and come across this stuff

bojack_horsemam · 2022-03-29T17:05:28+00:00

People are not perfect. This includes attractive women. Yes, it definitely helps being a narcissist. But not because of the title alone. It has to do with the way you carry yourself, the way you deal with the world, the over confidence, etc

2022-03-29T17:15:42+00:00

As an immigrant in North America, I can tell you the whole North American culture is quite narcissistic and narcissism is seen as virtue. Although in popular culture it's phrased as confidence, not narcissism. There's a lot of self-promotion and grandiosity is normalized in North American culture even if you don't think it's narcissism per se. So it's not suprising that in dating narcissism is also valued in dating market.

James_Bob_007 · 2022-03-29T17:23:23+00:00

Even in cavemen days, the strongest warrior was the ultimate alpha of the tribe.

So, nothing has changed. Women were always attracted to men who are: 1. physically strong 2. mentally strong 3. leaders 4. brave/adventurous 5. confident 6. successful in something 7. popular/admired in your social circle/tribe

These are the things which create the first spark (attraction) in a woman. Only after that she will test your IQ, whether she can trust you and whether you are a good person.

Being a good and honest guy is a good thing. But if you don't possess any of the (animal) traits from above, you won't attract too many girls in your life.

Let's say it this way, out of 100 women: - 90 women will be attracted to a leader of the tribe who is strong, brave and smart - 50 will be attracted to a leader of the tribe who is strong and brave, but asshole - 3 women will be attracted to a good, humble, honest guy who is not handsome, strong or brave

So, a good, honest guy might also find a girlfriend, but he won't have as many options.

And then, if you want more options, go back to a square 1: be stronger, braver, more adventurous, confident, successful, popular.

It worked that way in Egypt, ancient Rome, middle ages, 1990s. And it will work the same in 2022' and 2122'.

modidlee · 2022-03-29T17:35:26+00:00

Because showing you actually value other people comes across as you needing other people. It doesn’t make anyone feel sexy or genuinely desired when you feel the person with you needs you. You want someone who wants you, who desires you. The asshole narcissist comes across like he doesn’t need anyone. But if he comes across like he wants you and chooses you above anyone else it’s validating.

Robofrogg1 · 2022-03-29T17:44:37+00:00

People do NOT like being around arrogant narcissist pricks. However, confidence IS attractive and arrogant narcissism is often mistaken for confidence.

Ok_Commission1263 · 2022-03-29T17:49:25+00:00

Plus all women are different depends how they grew up and are a girl who grew up fucked likes a ruff nigga being sweet and all that is weak and foreign and will step all over you it depends

2022-03-29T17:59:05+00:00

"It seems like you have to be a careless person who chases instant gratification in order to get women..."

It's actually quite the opposite. The thing that gives you biggest advantage in seduction are being in extremely good shape, which is prime delayed gratification activity.

Musician-Round · 2022-03-29T18:11:55+00:00

That sounds more like you are chasing after the acceptance of a certain crowd. I think everyone goes through that feeling at some point in their youth because it is scientifically documented that the most common experience youth experience is the desire to be accepted by their peers. But the truth is not nearly as bleak. The more you begin to expand your worldview and refine yourself as a person, your tastes will change and you will find yourself surrounded by many women. Rather than being the guy that's always looking to be accepted by them.

The old saying is true: Fake it until you make it.

Many guys like to think they can deceive women with a brave front, but any self-respecting woman knows the difference between a guy faking his confidence and one who allows his genuine confidence to walk ahead of him in public. When I learned how to distinguish between the two, that's when I stopped having trouble attracting women.

If this is that much of an issue for you then it might be a sign that you need to dedicate more time to work on yourself so that when you do start attracting people, you will have a lot to offer. A big misconception that is prevalent in the world is that once you get into a relationship/married, everything else dissolves and you go on to live your little happily ever after without effort.

The reality, of course, is a lot different. It takes thick skin, determination, conviction, and genuine feelings of compassion in order to make any relationship work. When these things aren't present, the divorce rate nears 50%, and neither gender respects the other while trying to assert their own dominance over the other.

Ok_Medicine_7662 · 2022-03-29T18:14:37+00:00

Yeah you have to be confident and assertive.

You gotta build your confidence up, based on what I'm reading here. Work on your career, your physical fitness, and your clothing style. Those are 3 huge things that you can straight up just do yourself. No mysteriousness or confusion about it.

Get in social settings and polish up your social skills.

If you start doing that, you'll be twice as confident in like 6 months dude.

And then maybe you'll see that those guys getting girls aren't being douches. They're actually just aware of their value and are not meek.

You know who I personally do not understand? Guys who put no effort into their physique, career, social skills, hygene, or wardrobe... And then they can't fogure out why a hot girlfriend doesn't just fall out of the sky and start worshipping him. THOSE are the narcissists in my eyes.

Spectre_ITM · 2022-03-29T18:29:34+00:00

Between narcissist and needy there's a space. You want to be in there.

Efficient-Evening911 · 2022-03-29T18:32:52+00:00

Yasterday i watched a video of jordan paterson who talk exactly about this probleme according to him this is mostly common in teen womens they see them as attractive because they found a false sense of security with them exactly like mens with any form of status they see them as pitential mates because they know they are already verified and accepted by the society so they are vluable they can bring value to the table and this not only for womens of nowday this a deeply psychological and evolutionary phenomenon
And unfortunatly i relate to your feeling i was really disgust and saddened because all what he said was fucking accurate as i had many real life example in my head watching it

Potato2trader · 2022-03-29T18:35:31+00:00

Narcissists are confident and this confidence usually attracts people. Narcissism not so much.

DarkSun18 · 2022-03-29T18:42:59+00:00

Wrong, narcissism is a terrible trait to live with in people.

evetrapeze · 2022-03-29T22:13:10+00:00

You just want to "get" a woman. That attitude can be problematic. It comes of as needy and can reek of desperation

Title	imma be honest it seems like you need to be a narcissist in order to be attractive
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	105
Comments	125
Date	March 29, 2022 2:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tr0l2s/imma_be_honest_it_seems_like_you_need_to_be_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/imma-be-honest-it-seems-like-you-need-to-be-a.1263411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263411

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