Screw the bad boy bullshit

theseoulplayer · 2021-09-03T05:08:32+00:00

You went the bad boy route because you wanted the confidence and assertiveness that people generally associate with bad boys. You don't have to do it that way, but that's the route many take.

The reason 'be yourself' is such bad advice is because what it should really say is 'be better than who you are right now.' You don't need to change your personality to alter aspects of your behavior - Your personality is not equivalent to your behavior. You can be a nice guy who doesn't let people walk all over them, you can be nice to women without being supplicating, you can go out with friends and be genuinely happy for them when they meet a girl they like without getting jealous and AMOGing everything. Those aren't natural inclinations for most 'nice guys' though, and that is why they get so frustrated.

Women don't skip over nice guys because they're nice. They skip over them because they don't show masculine qualities that are generally attractive. You can be nice and still be assertive, confident, and cool. In fact, that's the best way to show these qualities.

Lord_Augastus · 2021-09-03T12:05:25+00:00

People confuse unapologetic confidence with bad boys. Bad boys are unapologetic, and thats it...

But you can be strong, opinionated, ego, confident adn forceful, and still be respectful, kind, smart etc.

Pretty sure the world for the most part has moved on from trope stereotypes. but confidence is confidence, and bad boys have it, they also are assholes, so thats a big blow to interpersonal relationships.

MalibuProducer77 · 2021-09-03T04:40:23+00:00

More men need to see this. Nothing wrong with being yourself. The women who only get turned on by "bad boys" end up making the relationship become a shit show and them looking like a train wreck in the end. They're usually the wrong type of women to LTR with anyway in my opinion. Even using the bad boy image to your advantage to get laid is likely only good for hookups and fwb. If you want something real, the real you has to be shown if you want a serious relationship. That bad boy image is fun to use while having fun, but a long term relationship, both parties should be their real selves.

idkburneridkidk · 2021-09-03T12:39:58+00:00

It's a bit old hat for a lot of girls my age it seems. Atleast in the light of so many other ways to go about it nicely. I'm 23. Most of them just seem to want you to seem interested at first. Then tell theym you wanna get to know them more and that they're really cool and ____(sweet, nice, funny, random, jumpy, fun) or maybe she just puts in in a good mood and you wanna get more good moods. She doesn't care why you like her as long as it's not just her looks

People like to feel like they can help eachother and provide something more than a warm body. Especially if they're sexually interested in helping eachother too.

Ease into talking to her like you've been together for years cause that's how you're eventually gonna talk. She wants to see some of that if possible. Casually ask her how whatever she said she's doing last time going and cheer her on a bit. Most people like to feel that comfortable around someone who feels the same around them. We are not that complicated, just lots of layers to cut away with everyone, not just introverts.

drewcer · 2021-09-03T11:38:31+00:00

Idk what you meant by “bad boy” but you can still have that “bad boy edge” while being a good guy. What she’s most attracted to is that you’re not a passive sheep and you don’t let anyone push you around.

You can have your cake and eat it too, I promise.

Nico_T_3110 · 2021-09-03T04:30:32+00:00

Good luck man I hope you get better soon, surround yourself with good people :)

j2bbt238 · 2021-09-03T12:26:30+00:00

bad boy pilled

bandsupjay · 2021-09-03T13:01:30+00:00

A bad boy doesnt mean a asshole. U had the wrong picture and fucked it up. Women will always love bad boys, thatll never change bro. Its your fuck up not anybody else is, this shit can work for other people.

Being a nice guy is going to be no different either lol. I think you need to be yourself and leave reddit alone or anywhere else that you’re getting this information from g. You’re never going to get women like this. Be yourself and don’t put people on a pedestal, thats all it is.

Fantastic_Web45 · 2021-09-03T04:55:40+00:00

You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most.

So to help you on your journey make sure you surround yourself with good people ☺️

Best of luck!

nalinpuri · 2021-09-03T10:48:04+00:00

You are a big boy huh?

I love a big boy

Shadow__Account · 2021-09-03T10:03:17+00:00

Just edit your post to blabla I don’t understand what makes a badboy attractive to women so I did some stupid shit blabla

SummerEarly · 2021-09-03T10:03:10+00:00

It’s okay to be the nice guy. The problem is to know when and who to use it on. Of course if you use it on the wrong women then good luck but if you use it on the right women things can turn out wonderfully.

primallyours · 2021-09-03T15:40:38+00:00

Thanks, Costanza.

Training_Passenger79 · 2021-09-05T03:59:55+00:00

Congratulations, and thanks for sharing! Massive respect for you already. Just keep it up.

What’s attractive about the bad boy isn’t the bad part - but the fact that they are their own people who don’t let society define them.

It’s sticking up for your right to be an individual that’s attractive, and having the courage to break the rules if you need to.

What you’ll notice about bad boy archetypes in films is that they’re people with very strong redeeming features that speak to the core of who they are.

You can’t let society take away your core.

back2me78 · 2021-09-03T08:55:18+00:00

Stop adding label like “bad” or “nice” to your manhood - both are fake and put on’s to get a result. Be yourself and chase your own happiness in interactions - if it feels good to you and you ain’t hurting nobody do you - bad and nice

LawfulnessLow7794 · 2021-09-03T13:21:00+00:00

"You can still get girls by being a good guy"

................well, has been almost 20 years chief.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-09-03T05:36:44+00:00

It calls “getting outta comfort zone”

But seems like u pissed in ur pants and the simp voice inside urself forcing u get back into comfortable jacket..to avoid that “stressful” job of being responsible and having balls

It is what it is, brother. Once u step up and tryna change ur life, be ready not to be your old comfortable self. Till u get use to it

Ps: screw the “bad boy” term. Implement the “masculine man”. U still are the good guy. But with edges balls boundaries and manly character.

Artist-in-Residence- · 2021-09-03T05:30:36+00:00

Are you referring to the James Dean/Brad Pitt anti-authoritarian type "bad boy" or are you referring to the numerous f*ckboys who disguise their insecurities with misogyny and overcompensate their sexual prowess?

Being a little bad is good, but being the typical f*ckboy masks repressed homosexual tendencies.

Ashamed-Height1106 · 2021-09-03T13:31:26+00:00

Yeah, the kind of girls that want "bad boys" are usually a hot wreck themselves. Good girls want good guys to treat them good. It's not rocket science and the fact that men act fake in this manner is hilarious.

nalinpuri · 2021-09-03T12:07:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

yourgirlfriendsdad · 2021-09-03T08:19:48+00:00

Really? How long was this for?

yourgirlfriendsdad · 2021-09-03T08:23:42+00:00

How long did it take you to fully become the "badboy" 😂😂

bandsupjay · 2021-09-03T13:06:32+00:00

This is why I always say, before doing something always have a clear picture of what it is what you want. The real definition. A bad boy doesnt mean you’re mean to everyone, the fuck? You’ll only get girls with low self esteem like that, thats a whole different thing than a bad boy. Be you and stop giving a fuck what people do or say, thats what it means to be a bad boy. Have stone cold confidence and trust in yourself.

dreameater42 · 2021-09-03T14:29:45+00:00

like bags of sand

Yujir0Hanma · 2021-09-03T14:31:31+00:00

It's a real thing? How do you act like a bad boy and attract woman without being a unlikable douchebag?

NateHate1402 · 2021-09-03T15:42:42+00:00

Mentality leads to actions that are coherent with the mentality that eventually become engrained because of repetition.

Your mistake was taking on all of the traits of a “bad boy” rather than just the traits that make you attractive.

-Confidence

-Willingness to take risks and ignore social norms

-The ability to say no

These were the things that should have been engrained. Instead these plus the negative traits were engrained essentially making you a bad person with attractive traits.

RapTVCalifornia · 2021-09-03T16:09:12+00:00

Bad boy? What is this? High school all over again. You’re a grown man fucking act like a grown man. Be respectful, be good, be kind, and act accordingly.

2021-09-03T17:34:56+00:00

It's called maturity. It's sounds like you're growing up and realizing that you don't have to play games anymore. Women all over will thank you for that!

Anon6025 · 2021-09-03T20:23:09+00:00

The balance I have found through Robert Glovers books has worked perfect. Not a wimp, not an asshole. Also read Jordan Petersons Rules book.

Hydron45 · 2021-09-03T21:19:58+00:00

What do you actually mean by the bad boy facade?

sh1ftyswar · 2021-09-03T22:24:16+00:00

I always thought it was more about going against the grain, breaking rules maybe being a little bold

Did I just get outta jail?

Maybe

eyesopen1111 · 2021-09-04T00:47:50+00:00

What‘s your body count? How long were you a bad boy? How many girls did you sleep with during that time? How many girls have you slept with as a nice guy?

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-09-05T06:16:37+00:00

I was the same way when I was younger. I got older and learned that there's a difference between being dominant and being an asshole.

Title	Screw the bad boy bullshit
Author	DragonDinner22
Upvotes	184
Comments	56
Date	September 3, 2021 4:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pgxxst/screw_the_bad_boy_bullshit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/screw-the-bad-boy-bullshit.1276908 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276908

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