What is your best "I have a boyfriend" retort?

aerinha · 2010-05-16T02:41:39+00:00

The best one I've ever heard: "I like boyfriends!"

TheCoochinator · 2010-05-16T02:26:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

joforedditin · 2010-05-16T19:31:32+00:00

That's cool, I'm not the jealous type.

throwaway543210 · 2010-05-16T02:43:25+00:00

I've heard the following recommended, though I personally don't use them:

"Jeez, we just met and you're already telling me about your problems."

Or just:

"Oh where is he?" (very subtle implications there)

But my personal favorite is just to friendzone them. Girls break up with boyfriends all the time. I'll invite her to parties but never dates, etc.

TheCoochinator · 2010-05-16T03:14:11+00:00

I never tried this, but really want to:

"Great, he can make us breakfast in the morning"

What do you think?

Philosorapter · 2010-05-16T02:16:09+00:00

"Me too."

nomopyt · 2010-05-16T05:24:08+00:00

What's your man gotta do with me?

hbronez · 2010-05-17T00:06:36+00:00

just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score

bonkdaddy · 2010-05-16T03:59:56+00:00

"i talked to him and he said its cool if we [verb]"

remember: theyre probably lying

Ochobobo · 2010-05-16T04:49:14+00:00

"So?"

ryrysofly · 2010-05-16T19:56:31+00:00

"You look like the kind of girl that could use two."

djduni · 2010-05-16T03:29:36+00:00

Hottie-"I'm sorry, I already have a boyfriend."

Me- "Oh ya? Me too, no worries." With a slight smile.

Then just change the subject. Throws her off guard because you are seemingly saying you are gay but the smile lets her know you are kidding...usually you can continue with your conversation unhindered with the boyfriend talk which most of the time is bullshit anyways. It lightens the mood without poking fun at her or the fact that she just lied to you.

Literati · 2010-05-16T02:24:00+00:00

I always loved the one that goes, "Cool! I have a pet goldfish, but let's talk about shit that actually MATTERS."

mynewname · 2010-05-17T00:44:34+00:00

"What, you aren't allowed to talk to men? Is he jealous and controlling?"
"Like, I was saying...[back to previous topic of conversation]"
"Cool, bring him along."
"Is he bigger than me?"
"I'm prettier than him."

intjpua · 2010-05-17T01:05:33+00:00

"Can he fight?"

Mtrey · 2010-05-16T02:27:20+00:00

If you're inviting her somewhere when she's says this, say, "The more the merrier. Bring him."

conandrum · 2010-05-22T05:12:55+00:00

"I think we're moving to fast."

smallestmills · 2010-05-16T05:01:51+00:00

In my limited experience, when a girl says she has a boyfriend or inserts it into conversation ("Oh that's great, my boyfriend loves _______ too!") what it means depends on when you hear it.

1) In the first few minutes - She's not interested at the moment.

2) few mins to an hour - She didn't realise that you were trying to pick her up.

3) Anytime afterwards - She's no longer comfortable with being with you for whatever reason.

In itself the comment doesn't really deserve a retort. My suggestion would be as follows: If 1), eject immediately and politely unless you love uphill battles. If 2) or 3), ignore the comment and proceed with caution, or just be social.

Horatio__Caine · 2010-05-16T05:50:30+00:00

"Oh, I have a boyfriend"

"Really? You know, I had an iPod Mini once. Then I upgraded."

I've never used this in real life, but I've always been tempted.

Sublomino · 2010-05-16T03:47:22+00:00

My personal attitude is that just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to express how you feel about her. You know, it doesn't mean that suddenly your feelings are invalid because she has a boyfriend. That's totally silly. For me it's like if I say "I find you very sexy," and she says "I already have a boyfriend," it's like OK well what does that have to do with me thinking you're sexy? It's not like having a boyfriend makes it so all other men in the world are not allowed to think you're sexy. You know, we aren't living in a Muslim country where you're not allowed to gaze on the unveiled face of another man's wife. I mean come on. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can just turn off my feelings of feeling attracted to you.

uzkhan1 · 2010-05-16T03:11:06+00:00

This one is stupid, but back when Bill Clinton got caught up, I once responded with a "So what? This is America! Look at Bill Clinton." Really corny but it made her giggle.

2010-05-16T09:52:21+00:00

Cool. He can watch for free, but for pictures he has to pay.

shopcat · 2010-05-16T15:51:24+00:00

Aww, that must be really special for a girl like you....

hotsexgary · 2010-05-16T21:13:27+00:00

It depends on you. You can say "oh, that's a pity" with deadpan tone, then leave it hanging. Bask in the awkwardness, and let her fix it or blow herself out.

wthulhu · 2010-05-16T22:13:22+00:00

'me too. he's great'

westsan · 2010-05-17T00:56:22+00:00

"I don't like him. Get rid of him"

CerpinTaxt11 · 2010-07-26T18:08:07+00:00

Form The Wire:

"Is he bigger than me?"

tededit · 2010-05-16T06:53:26+00:00

" Oh, no no. I don't want you to be my girlfriend. I just wanted a fuck-buddy."

2010-05-16T07:28:57+00:00

None of you would be saying any of this bullshit had you suffered through a broken relationship where the other party cheated. That feeling of love and trust being ripped apart by the very person that gave them to you is disgusting. It makes you so angry and sad, and then you realize that you still love them, so you hate yourself even more, then your imagination comes in to place when you think of her with someone else. Vibrations of every single negetive emotion flow freely within your body and exit out as tears and snot.

Being human is stupid.

lachumproyale1210 · 2010-05-16T09:15:50+00:00

sometimes i just ignore it

justthrowmeout · 2010-05-21T19:13:24+00:00

I'm married..who cares.

nooneinparticular · 2010-05-16T02:06:43+00:00

"Haha, that's funny, I was just planning on going and sticking a skewer in my eye."

2010-09-01T17:44:40+00:00

I have a goldfish.

her: whatt?

Oh I thought we were talking about stuff that doesn't matter.

2010-05-16T18:57:19+00:00

"Lucky guy."

Title	What is your best "I have a boyfriend" retort?
Author	TheCoochinator
Upvotes	38
Comments	87
Date	May 16, 2010 1:57 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c4mwb/what_is_your_best_i_have_a_boyfriend_retort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-your-best-i-have-a-boyfriend-retort.1292441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292441

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