Someone posted the other day, "With all this free information available on the internet, how come a bunch of people still struggle to get laid and improve themselves?"

I've noticed this myself - a huge number of people here (and in other self-improvement/dating communities) struggle with taking that first step and actually starting to work on themselves and fix their issues. It's easy to read everything on here, buy seduction books/courses, read 100 websites, watch other people hit on girls, feeling that rush of dopamine as you excitedly think, "It's not that hard - I could do it too!" But it's another thing to actually do it yourself. Taking that first step is the hardest step you'll ever take.

Other guys feel like it's too late for them, or that they're "far too fucked-up" to ever have any hope of getting laid or finding a girlfriend or being in a happy relationship. They'll lurk on here (maybe even comment every now and then), reading everything that's posted, but they'll never in a billion years even consider for a second that they could be out there making progress themselves. They gave up hope years ago; after all, getting laid is something that's reserved for other people.

I want to share my story, to show you no matter how much of a handicap you're starting with, no matter how screwed up your life or your mindset or your head may be - you can turn it all around. It won't be easy. It'll take a shitload of work - probably years. But it's very bloody doable.

I'll give the short version of my story:

I was extremely suicidal from age 14 to 23. As in, every single day I’d have fantasies of killing myself. I lost count of the number of times I found myself in the kitchen holding a knife to my wrist, willing myself to have the courage to finally fucking do it.

I was in 2 abusive relationships, had ZERO friends, and my life consisted of nothing that really made me happy. I didn't think any women would ever truly like me (my girlfriend at the time hated me, it was a pretty fucked up relationship - we just yelled and screamed at each other all the time). I had a job for a bit but I lost it, and that was when things really got bad.

That job was really the only thing getting me out of the house, and once I no longer had it, I turned to alcohol. I became a raging alcoholic (was drunk basically 24/7), developed a severe porn addiction (most days watching 8hrs of porn) and spent the rest of the time playing video games. I developed really bad agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) - I literally couldn't go outside to check the mail. I'd make excuses not to even go to the grocery store - I'd make my girlfriend buy all our groceries, which only made her hate me more.

I hated my life, and I hated myself even more. I had no friends, no confidence, no reason for existing, nothing that made me smile. My family lived 5000km away so I didn't even have them. I was obviously depressed as hell about it all - like I said, I used to fantasise about the knives in the kitchen draw, or I'd be crossing the road and I'd see a truck coming and I'd think, "If I just closed my eyes and stood here right now, it could all be over."

Worst of all I was completely hopeless - I was convinced there was no way I could ever change. I was stuck in this miserable existence and I'd always be unhappy. I told myself when I hit my 30th birthday, I was allowed to kill myself.

Eventually I hit rock bottom when my girlfriend broke up with me, and my family found out how depressed/suicidal I'd been. I had to confess everything - the addictions, the alcoholism, the agoraphobia, the suicidal thoughts, how much I hated living.

My parents were so fucking supportive - I moved back home to live with them for a year. They forced me to go see a counsellor, and forced me to start leaving the house. It was absolute hell at first, but I slowly got better at just being outside, then making friends, then working on my addictions. I lost weight (75lbs in total), started hitting the gym and lifting weights (went from not being able to do a single pushup/pullup/squat, to being able to deadlift 175kg). I found self-improvement websites and started getting my mind right, worked on actually liking myself, and started building a life I could be proud of.

The last thing I had to fix was my dating life - and that was honestly the hardest thing ever. I went through an "approach anxiety program" (google "Good Looking Loser Approach Anxiety Program" - it's free) and that was absolute HELL. You end up talking to 1500+ girls over the 6 weeks. But, by the end of it, I was confident enough to actually hit on girls properly and try to have sex with them (even though I was still terrified and shaking most of the time), and I actually started getting laid. I went on OkCupid/POF/Tinder/etc as well, and over time got really good at getting laid on there too.

I've met some fucking amazing women over the years since then, including my current girlfriend of 2 years. She's the sweetest, coolest girl I've met - she adds a hell of a lot to my life. She's also bisexual so we've had a bunch of 3somes with other girls (about 12 from memory). Good fun.

I never in a billion years thought I'd actually have any women truly like me for who I am - let alone have sex with me - let alone have 3somes and wild sex adventures a girlfriend who adores me. That stuff seemed so impossibly out-of-reach for me all those years ago; like a pipe dream I dare not even contemplate.

Most importantly of all, I'm really fucking happy with my life. I haven't had a suicidal thought in years, I haven't been depressed in years - every fucking day feels like I've been given a gift and I'm so bloody grateful for it.

I cover the rest of my transformation story here: My Transformation.

Some before/after pics:

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https://preview.redd.it/703e7sv0yix41.jpg?width=922&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e5602edcce4e5da6a29201e27ea041e896eb62b

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https://preview.redd.it/i0gr2os1yix41.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=379b29502e1eeded6075fdd891fff3455f419037

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https://preview.redd.it/pfctrhf2yix41.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9948c746287d4dc09a2549c815f9c4733fdcb36d

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https://preview.redd.it/txdrmhb3yix41.jpg?width=858&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6c68797a0a3a4e8ad22e4b1eb6af1329ca02c13

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And proof I get laid now (including pics/vids/stories).

I hate the idea that anyone is sitting on here thinking they're a lost cause, that it's too late for them, that they're too far gone, that they'll never be able to change. I hate the idea anyone feels like their struggles are insurmountable. Trust me when I say this: I am nothing special.

It doesn't take willpower (in fact, I have very little discipline or willpower). You just have to start working on your goals a little at a time - aim to just take one tiny little baby step forward every single day. Those tiny little steps add up over time, and before you know it, you'll be a long way ahead of where you started.

If you're unhappy with your appearance - start losing fat/hit the gym. All you have to do is sign up for a gym membership, or go Google "how to lose weight". That's one baby step you can take right now.

If you don't know how to talk to girls, go google "Good Looking Loser Approach Anxiety Program". Just google it and read a bit of it. That's one baby step you can take right now.

If you have no idea where to meet women, sign up for Tinder and just start talking to girls. I have a huge (free) Tinder guide on my site that covers literally every step from improving your looks, to taking pics, to messaging girls, going on dates, having sex, and even keeping them around for months/years afterwards. Seriously, just install Tinder and just start getting used to how the app works (you don't even have to message any girls yet) - that's one baby step you can take right now.

If you're super depressed, google counsellors in your area. Or send a message to a mate, "Hey man I gotta be honest, I've been feeling really bad lately." Or send a text to a family member telling them you've been feeling down for a while. That's one baby step you can take right now.

No matter where you're at right now, there is always something you can do. Some tiny little baby step you can take right now*.* Stop reading, stop sitting around watching other people find success, and stop thinking you aren't worthy.

If I can do it, you sure as hell can too.

-Andy