Show of hands, who has actually gone out and approached solo?

Cheeseblockz · 2012-07-31T15:36:35+00:00

So I've been doing this a little while in Dallas while just recently getting over some seemingly chronic one-itus. Granted it has only been three or so weekends, here is what I have to report:

Club scene: Honestly, probably the easiest for me to go solo mainly because of the plethora of drunk women in the sluttiest attire seeking validation from any man with a pulse. If you are even remotely attractive, you can approach quite aggressively (in a sexual manner) and escalate quickly. By making some broad-stroke assumptions, I'd say that women in this element are the most inebriated and free from inhibitions than say.. a chill bar scene/normal bar.

That being said, it is also a lot darker in clubs so if any form of rejection happens, you can easily waltz into the shadows and prepare for your next approach. With me, sometimes at bars I feel people are watching (could be the dallas crowd as they are all lame in uptown and tend to find amusement from others because they are too fucking lame to approach themselves).

What does this mean? You can bury the assumption that the spotlight is on you in clubs (a hard concept to come by) and freely open sets with whoever the fuck in your lone wolf state. Girls are simply looking for dicks to align their ass cracks with as they get into a grinding frenzy. Go be that dick.

Bar scene: Well, well, well. This aspect of the lone wolf game was kind of a ferocious beast to approach mentally. A bar can sometimes feel isolated or confined in the sense of space where as a club is spacious and there are more places to hide and wallow in your sorrows momentarily while you plan your next attack. If you can rid yourself of that 'spotlight mentality' and realize that no one gives a fuck that you are there and 8-9 times out 10 people are so concerned with what other people are thinking about them that they have no time to actually look and criticize you.

I've come to find that girls actually find it insanely attractive to know that you are by yourself. "Who are you here with?" "Where are your friends" (Me) -- "Oh I decided to go solo tonight, all of my friends were being lame as fuck" (Her) -- "Wow that takes some balls" (Me) -- "Big ones, you are gorgeous by the way (kino, etc.) ~~~ Now at this point in the conversation I'm appearing like quite the alpha lone wolf and I had her eating out of the palm of my hand.

Lone-wolfing, when done right, can really catapult you into a level of insane attraction for women if done right. If you are weird as fuck and awkward, by the law of state transference, you will most likely be perceived as the guy that comes to bars and drops date-rape pills in girls drinks. Don't be that guy.

It also forces you to approach 2-sets, 3-sets, groups of girls for that matter, as you really don't have a safety net to fall back on or friends you are tied to. You can merge with their group or simply do whatever the fuck you want. You are amoebic. Don't like the scene? Get the fuck out. Not digging the girl you were paired with but your friend that is winging with you is all into her?(hypothetical situation) Won't happen because you are solo-dolo, use that jetpack and abort mission.

TLDR; Obliterate the 'spotlight effect' mentality; understand the different mindsets between the club/bar scene for women and how you approach-- (Club: Easier to escalate, make-out, grind because women go to clubs for sexual promiscuity and if they say they don't they ARE LYING)

(Bar: Different environment, can range from chill to moderately hype; remember to not worry about what other people are thinking, they paradoxically are worrying about themselves so in essence no one is worrying about anyone; play off of being solo but not in a creep fashion -- use it to gain attraction)

Embrace the formlessness of being a lone-wolf, remember the law of state transference, and how you are not attached to anything.

You control the night.

(Edit: spelling/formatting)

rednukleus · 2012-07-31T10:06:23+00:00

I did once. I had a panic attack beforehand. I approached a clique of med students at my grad school and sat down with them because this pretty girl was one of them. "Do you mind if I sit down?" They thought it was weird for a few seconds, judging from their looks, but once introductions went around I started chatting with all of them and there was no awkwardness. The girl ended up inviting me to a bbq a couple days later. I chatted with her a few times before then. Her boyfriend was at the bbq so that fizzled out. I had stupidly assumed she was single. If she had been single I would have been golden. I got her friend's number and I met them once more through her but I wasn't into her friend. Then I got too busy to keep in touch with that group.

I've lost all that momentum. It was the first time I had ever manned up and cold approached to meet a girl, ever really. It was over two months ago now.

Context: I'm married and trying to get a girl on the side. My wife has already been dating guys.

Balloons_lol · 2012-07-31T07:20:28+00:00

Mastered? Hell no. But I've tried.

2012-07-31T10:18:52+00:00

Going out solo is a good kick up the ass.

You feel so self concious doing nothing that you HAVE to approach. To avoid looking like a creeper you'll start talking to guys and girls left, right and center. It's a good thing.

Also nobody you know is judging you so it can be easier.

Venage · 2012-07-31T07:31:46+00:00

Well, for the show of hands part? I have, I bombed that shit. In the bad way. But I felt a really strong sense of freedom afterwards, like when people say if you get rejected hard the only anger you'll feel at yourself is for letting something so stupid ever get in your way. It's true.

For the question that isn't the title though, I haven't. Hopefully you wanted the title question answered too, I felt kind of confused about that.

urfaselol · 2012-07-31T10:09:32+00:00

Many times where I meet a girl where I'm branched off from other people or solo. I actually prefer it that way to be honest. I'd rather be alone then be with a wingman I don't have chemistry with or someone who I don't like. I much rather go out with a confident guy or a buddy who I really get along with.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-07-31T11:53:26+00:00

I've done hundreds of solo approaches, in bars, clubs, and day game. I can pretty much approach anyone now.

MolsonIce · 2012-07-31T12:16:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-07-31T13:24:19+00:00

I like to go out with my friends and then go off on my own and do all my approaches solo. Come to think of it, I've never done a cold approach with a wingman.

bcktth · 2012-07-31T14:04:00+00:00

I don't find it too much different then when with a wing. For example, you're not going to open every set with your wing right beside you, right? Well guess what, that's practically solo game.

Also, for those saying "But wait a minute bcktth, what about when I'm not opening sets, wouldn't it benefit having a wing to talk to so I am not standing there by myself?" Sure, but what difference does that make when you can anchor in a solid set of people (forget wither they are HB's, I'm talking good, wholesome people) and pop back into their group whenever you want?

panc0cks · 2012-07-31T14:08:47+00:00

Still pretty new in the city I'm in so I have little choice. In addition I got a gig doing club promotion for punk/hardcore nights so I have to attend every week. No idea how solo gaming in an extremely cliquey scene is going to go, but that is no reason not to try.

bythepowerofthor · 2012-07-31T07:58:50+00:00

I go out solo all the time, I'm usually pretty successful as well. Granted I know the staff at all the bars I go to (we all work together.) so it adds a lot of social proof.

justthrowmeout · 2012-07-31T08:29:55+00:00

I've done it a couple times. I met a cute asian girl once and hooked up later that week.

superyay · 2012-07-31T13:32:25+00:00

I usually talk to girls alone cause none of my friends have the balls to talk to them. Also when I try to get them involved in a group they usually blow it real bad.

PLplotsOTS · 2012-07-31T14:34:28+00:00

Quite a bit.

Bumples · 2012-07-31T14:52:24+00:00

I did, and it worked out pretty well. I think it's a great way to sharpen your skills, although I haven't mastered it by any means.

The key is to do one of two things. Either act like you own the place (getting to know the bouncers/bartenders helps) or use an opener that implies you broke off of a larger group. I opened a 2 set of HB6's by saying my buddy Colin (always use names!) was supposed to meet me there but went to a different bar instead. Yada yada yada, middle middle middle, she grabbed my hand and had me feel her subdermal piercing between her tits... It was a good night.

If you go out with the intention of getting rejected, there's not a thing anyone can say that should bring your spirits down.

itsmevichet · 2012-07-31T15:03:41+00:00

It's not about mastering solo game. It's just about being able to do it.

Sure, you can be a little better than the next guy by focusing on your presentation: posture, body language, humor, eye contact, etc.

But the key point is to develop all those things up there by just biting the bullet and doing it.

It's not like you die if a woman shoots you down solo.

I agree that a wing can be HUGELY supportive in gaming.

But, if you want to be able to fly solo, you have to forgo your best wingman for a good amount of time. Honestly, if both of you do that to develop your individual game, when you come back together, you'll have new things to bring to the table when you go out.

Let's go!

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2012-07-31T16:51:38+00:00

I prefer solo. I do it all the time. I have no reliable wings.

MolsonIce · 2012-07-31T16:59:15+00:00

faaar from mastered... But all of my approaches have been solo. Wings make me uncomfortable for some reason...

NomadicBit · 2012-07-31T17:20:56+00:00

I've got my solo game on lock. I can't quite claim yet to be a complete master, but I always get at least a K-close and about a dozen numbers. I have yet to meet an effective wing so I prefer solo game. I highly suggest it to any guys looking to get good at your game.

ThroMeAway82 · 2012-07-31T17:53:31+00:00

I tried. Damn near crapped myself, and epically bombed it. Walked away from that feeling worse than before.

coyotelime · 2012-07-31T18:12:49+00:00

Went out weekend before last with two lady friends, they weren't energetic/confident so I said fuck it and solo approached at a club. 0/5, should've been successful twice but got CBed by mother hen 2/5. Not even close to being good, but that night did wonders for my AA. I had 2 drinks btw and was pretty much sober. Rejection therapy is underrated.

Jewbot69 · 2012-07-31T18:58:13+00:00

I actually have better game solo

lifelongAFC · 2012-07-31T19:46:58+00:00

I go out with friends at night, though we split up when it comes to game time. When i do daygame, i do it 100% solo.

rococo78 · 2012-07-31T21:32:30+00:00

I go out solo quite a bit. Like you, I've had trouble with wings and don't want to worry about it anymore.

A couple things:

1) It helps ALOT to go somewhere you're comfortable. It doesn't need to be some place you go regularly, but at least be the 'type' of bar or venue you like to go to regularly.

2) Sometimes if I'm meeting friends out, I'll try to go out an hour earlier than I'm supposed to meet them and try a couple sets at a different bar nearby. It always give you the 'meeting friends' later excuse.

3) There was a tip in an article posted today, about finding a high traffic place and posting up and letting the girls come to you. That's not a bad idea. I always keep an eye out for an open seat at the bar next to a cute girl too.

4) Sometimes I'll make a night out of it, with some lead up. I'll go to dinner at a chill bar/restaurant, sit at the bar, talk to the bartender and I'll be a little bit more in the swing of things when I go to the next stop.

5) Curious to know what Seddit thinks of this - I'll pretend to send texts and use my phone as a prop sometimes to make myself look more occupied than I am. This works well if you're posted up at the right spot, so you can pretend to send messages until a girl comes by worth talking to.

suteneko · 2012-07-31T19:54:17+00:00

I'm new to this, but I walked into a club and opened a set of three chicks without hesitation. Immediate love. I tried to engage all three, but failed and lost their undying attention and moved on. # closed two of them later on.

Going solo shows you have serious balls.

wc3validator · 2012-08-01T03:47:05+00:00

I've done it plenty of times and if I'm actually just itching to hunt, I prefer it.

Even with friends around I will always separate myself and go approach solo. I didn't even know there was a phrase for cold approaching because it was just my normal strategy.

Just walk around smiling at people, if they smile back either approach on the spot or do a loop and come back later. <- works everytime

Title	Show of hands, who has actually gone out and approached solo?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	67
Date	July 31, 2012 6:45 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xfrpr/show_of_hands_who_has_actually_gone_out_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/show-of-hands-who-has-actually-gone-out-and.1336540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336540

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