Why is it that the moment a girl becomes invested in me, I suddenly lose interest?

Mi5ery · 2015-10-09T15:53:21+00:00

You seek validation.

thegg99 · 2015-10-09T21:13:38+00:00

You have low self-esteem and can't be attracted to a woman who would be attracted to you - her value collapses in your eyes.

almondbutter1 · 2015-10-10T01:04:01+00:00

I'm going to offer a different potential reason. Maybe you're afraid now. You've won her over but don't know if you can keep her interested so you tell yourself that she's not interesting or whatever so you can protect yourself.

Defense mechanism?

ravenkain251 · 2015-10-09T15:44:28+00:00

Because the chase is over...you've essentially accomplished your goal

2015-10-09T17:58:02+00:00

I think this scene about sums it up for me. If you've ever seen the movie High Fidelity then you've already seen this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jSDoOldNuU

Dyablo66 · 2015-10-09T15:53:13+00:00

Because you won, the challenge is gone. Exactly the same reason women lose interest when men go all nice guy on them.

almondbutter1 · 2015-10-09T17:16:47+00:00

You sound like most girls I've been with. That may sound like an insult, its not. Just the way people are. And my fault for being too needy once something like a relationship starts to form.

PM_ME_4_COKE_HOOKUP · 2015-10-09T17:21:52+00:00

It's intimidating to have someone invested in you to where you are responsible for their feelings. A burden many people don't want.

SinSlayer · 2015-10-09T16:04:24+00:00

The same reason people climb down after reaching the top of Everest.

Rayjaysdick · 2015-10-09T19:45:50+00:00

Now it's old pussy, and you be looking for dat new pussy.

Essentially the challenge is gone, and men are programmed to want sex with many women.

I get the same way. I'm seeing a new girl, and she was constantly on my mind until we had sex. Then I felt this huge wave of relief, and thought to myself "okay, good". That's what I wanted, sex, now my head is clear and I can continue my life.

Generally speaking, men get less invested after sex, and women get more invested. That's partly why women don't put out right away when they're looking for something more serious, cause the guys lose interest.

fromdario · 2015-10-10T02:36:49+00:00

I am going to take a different stance from the crowd here and say that you seek the thrill of the chase and once you have them the challenge and fun is gone.

slingmustard · 2015-10-10T01:54:10+00:00

Groucho said it best, "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."

caesarfecit · 2015-10-09T23:31:40+00:00

Same reason why a girl loses interest when you become invested. She was just in it for validation. The second she gets what she was after, she has no further interest.

Tombstone31 · 2015-10-10T03:52:49+00:00

Find higher quality girls. It'll change everything.

Truthseeker92 · 2015-10-10T03:59:49+00:00

Nothing wrong with you, this is normal.

How many times can you eat the same candy bar without wanting a different one next time?

umsco226 · 2015-10-10T04:02:17+00:00

Yeah, lots of people here saying you seek validation is probably accurate. I think ultimately it comes down to looking inside yourself and figuring out who you are and who you want to be. Finding meaning and purpose in your life. No relationship will make you content and suddenly things will be perfect. Perfection and happiness in your life is your choice and your responsibility.

Personally, I found that I want to better the survival of the human race. I do not know how it will happen but that is what I want. I want that for many reasons that I carefully thought out.

Regardless, find happiness in yourself before looking for it from others. It is unfair to the other person and will ultimately leave you never satisfied.

peacemakerzzz · 2015-10-10T09:29:20+00:00

I'm on the same boat as you, man. From what I think, we lose interest because we feel that if we let this investment of hers continue, it might end up with us getting hurt in the end. Or maybe in my case, I don't know what to do from that point onwards, so I resort to fucking up the situation. Hope this helps.

ShamwowTseDung · 2015-10-10T14:24:19+00:00

I've gotten many comments telling me what's wrong with me, but without further explanation, or getting to the root of the problem, or how to fix it.

1) You might be seeking validation, as others have said. That can be the root actually. When people complete a goal, they tend to be satisfied, and then bored, because there's nothing else to do. That's why you set more goals after that.

Like a ship going to a port. Once it's there, the journey is done. Until the captain chooses another destination (another goal).

You set out on a journey for validation. Once you've got it, there's nothing else to do. You've made your destination.

Set new goals.

Of course, that's just one explanation. And it could be wrong

Thing is, you're asking to be evaluated without providing much information. You complain about the vague responses to your vague question. What did you expect?

2) You could have low self-esteem, and shut yourself off to prevent whatever bad things may happen in the future (you might fuck it up and not get together with her). But I'm not about to read too deep into something without reason.

You want clarifying answers? Clarify your situation. Try describing a usual situation. Or how about your goals in your relationships?

Title	Why is it that the moment a girl becomes invested in me, I suddenly lose interest?
Author	seduce_my_anus
Upvotes	94
Comments	59
Date	October 9, 2015 3:22 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3o3z29/why_is_it_that_the_moment_a_girl_becomes_invested/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-it-that-the-moment-a-girl-becomes-invested.1395646 https://theredarchive.com/post/1395646

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