When do I stop giving a shit?

Haunting_Profession3 · 2024-03-08T06:26:23+00:00

Let her tell whatever to whoever. It literally, and I mean literally, does not fucking matter anymore. If she’s going around lighting shit on fire, let her. Handle your self with grace, and be respectable about the end of the marriage.

Not only will you feel better about your self, everyone around you will see this, as well as what she’s doing, and know who’s the fucking lunatic and who’s not.

You got this, we’re all here for you if ya ever need it!

upfnothing · 2024-03-05T13:26:32+00:00

When you realize that it’s all a ritual. For a woman to leave you she has to devalue you. It’s all a game. Mine spent years talking sh-t about me to everyone behind my back. All of it while she cheated on me with a dozen dudes. A whole team roster. Don’t ever internalize any of that. Hit gym and live your life. I know it’s hard but it’s the only way.

No-Exit6560 · 2024-03-05T08:57:34+00:00

If you don’t have kids the answer is right now.

If you do have kids then try your best to be amicable with her, then when they’re 18 answer any questions they have.

My ex threatened me with false DV charges to get me to leave and then attempted to ensure I had limited/supervised custody of our son.

Now we have 50/50, he won’t hear me say anything negative about her but when he turns 18 he’s going to have lots of questions and he’ll be old enough to hear the answers then.

xosto · 2024-03-05T05:10:39+00:00

You're still attached to her and you will always care about her a little bit but what helps is not living together not having contact and having a full life of your own so much so you don't have time to think about her.

That's easier said than done because I've been not only doing the work of processing my divorce and the emotions that arise out of it. But I also keep busy at work and work out and with my kids and with my social life. There isn't much time left in the day but all it takes is a few seconds and that thought might cross in your mind about her.

That's going to be normal my friend you're going to always have some thought but try not to judge yourself for having it and try not to judge the thought itself because this person was a part of your life and it's hard to completely remove them.

What you will find with time is you will have more contempt and disgust In the same way you feel negatively about rude people at the checkout line. You still acknowledge they exist and you just find a new way of viewing them.

It's almost as if the coat of shiny paint you put on them has to fade away through their abrasive behavior and time. Eventually they lose their shine and you see them for what they are.

That's when these types of things don't bother you so much because you no longer hold them up as someone to worship or look up to or care about.

Again it doesn't happen all at once.

One of the challenging things is that you loved this person and so those feelings also cross your mind along with the feelings of disgust that you have. Takes a lot of effort to try to tell a story where these two feelings can coexist.

What ends up happening is that you come to accept the fact that you had some good memories but the person that you divorced was either not the same person you're married or you just didn't know them as well as you thought you did.

And it's a combination of both because you really never know somebody and because people don't really know themselves. And even if they do people change.

Sthompson1965 · 2024-03-05T03:37:53+00:00

Cheating women want to control the narrative. They will also tell themselves and others lies to justify there actions. I don’t know your situation but I think a no contact policy would help you move along.

redragtop99 · 2024-03-05T03:02:45+00:00

Honestly the more she tells people the less respect she will have… I don’t respect anyone who airs their dirty laundry in public

rhett342 · 2024-03-05T00:05:35+00:00

When you realize that the people that believe her crap aren't people you want in your life anyway.

stent00 · 2024-03-04T22:37:42+00:00

A woman is a man really without reason and accountability 😭

MysteriousLevel526 · 2024-03-04T21:35:00+00:00

Well unless you're a complete sociopath, you're always going to care.

Maximum_Use5854 · 2024-03-04T21:22:59+00:00

If she’s telling stuff about your prior “family” she’s not your current as she’s trashing the history of what you had publicly which should be kept private. Just an opinion and reasoning why I have this one

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-03-04T21:15:05+00:00

Women and accountability are polar opposites.

bes753 · 2024-03-04T21:05:58+00:00

You stop caring when you decide to. The people that she lies to that actually believe her are likely people you don't need in your life anyway. Anyone that knows you well and cares about you will know better. I struggled with this a lot until I realized that.

Title	When do I stop giving a shit?
Author	Bolt-McAction
Upvotes	19
Comments	18
Date	March 4, 2024 8:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1b6lriu/when_do_i_stop_giving_a_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-do-i-stop-giving-a-shit.1426180 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426180

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