I would honestly approach girls in club if they were to even hold 1.5 seconds on eye contact with me. But I've noticed that most of the time, they don't even look at me. How do I fix this?

2019-12-01T15:28:08+00:00

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WhiteGhosts · 2019-12-01T19:07:20+00:00

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Afdyhcckhggreat · 2019-12-01T17:52:27+00:00

Maybe you gave off the vibe you where trying to much sometimes guys try to act high value and then they look at the girl for her validation almost like sayng look what I’m doing or did I impress you

2019-12-01T16:26:31+00:00

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Jay-Ames · 2019-12-01T19:56:32+00:00

First let me say I that I am 100% sure you are trying too hard. I think girls love the energy but only when it comes from passion for what you are doing and not when it comes from "Hey, look at me". It is too needy.

But what I really wanted to say is this. I once was in a club when a group of 5 girls came in. They were friendly with all the guys in the club but one of them just wouldn't even look at me. And if our eyes did meet she gave me this leave me alone look. She did chat and look at guys. Even my friend got her attention.

Then I spoke to one of the girls. We got on great in a just friends kinda way. She told me that her friend was totally into me. That friend of hers was the one that acted like she hated me.

I started chatting with her which wasn't easy. She still was acting like she didn't want to speak to me. I got her phone number. 2 days later we met and started a hot relationship for a couple of months.

I learned that eye contact doesn't say much. It is more about going for what you want. If you start to wonder about the signs most likely you will hesitate. And then you will have to witness that some other guy that just went for it, is now kissing the woman you desire.

OwnedByOwn · 2019-12-01T17:36:10+00:00

Look, this is just how most girls work. We literally hold eye contact for like 0.9999 seconds and hope to god that would be enough for a man we’re interested in to notice us. Obviously, I’m generally speaking but this is usually what we do. I’m not saying any girl that glances at you is secretly interested, obviously, but when we’re interested, that’s usually all you get.

2019-12-01T19:00:20+00:00

Work on your self confidence. Put it into your head that you’re attractive and girls want you. They notice the way you hold yourself and your self confidence. Looks plays a small part but I’d say confidence is much more. 1.5 seconds is all you need to approach and dance. Don’t be weird and continually talk (or talk at all) in a place where they can’t hear you anyway, it just makes things awkward.

Verssani · 2019-12-01T17:58:03+00:00

Ay man, if you’re only there to have women approach you and seek you out then you’ve already lost.

Women have the ability to notice our body language and facial expressions so well that they can tell what we seek and if that’s them then most of them will be turned off cause 9/10 they’re there to have fun or else they’d be at the bar making all sorts of eye contact with others or on the dance floor right next to the guy they look interested in or close proximity.

So go have fun and live your life man. Have you ever heard of the analogy about the key? This applies for mostly anything but every can agree they had that moment where they were able to find that specific item and no matter how hard or how thoroughly you look, you just can’t find them? It’s only when it’s not on your mind and bothering you that you find it. When you’ve relaxed and aren’t so tunnel visioned.

They’ll gravitate to you once you’re done searching for them, I bet you of that. That is if you’re also bettering yourself and like others said, being well groomed, dressed well, and correct/approachable body language and eye contact.

Hope that help and I’m here to chat man 🤜🏾

2019-12-01T17:29:16+00:00

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connectiongold · 2019-12-01T20:31:07+00:00

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Atriev · 2019-12-01T18:38:58+00:00

Go in strong and bust through the wall. If you don’t get their attention, you can’t get their eye contact.

Nighteif · 2019-12-01T16:05:08+00:00

Go and approach verbally or physically, just make sure they see you while you come to them, nothing worse than coming down behind for a fast rejection. I usually look for the eye contact and approach as soon as I get it, but if you are not getting it you must try without it, you never know.

Maggost · 2019-12-01T18:53:11+00:00

That's an excuse, just go and talk with her if you find her attractive.

SpinCity07 · 2019-12-01T20:29:02+00:00

Come with other girls? Also, numbers game. Don't wait for an invitation. Smoke pit is good place to chat. Also waiting in line for a drink. You could approach tables and make up a bunch of bull shit about yourself.They might dance with you. They might not. They could be there with other friends and just want to be with them. Just don't try to grind off the get go. If there not interested, move on.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-01T19:00:28+00:00

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2019-12-02T00:38:43+00:00

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Woujo · 2019-12-02T01:28:36+00:00

You can't wait for girls to invite you to approach them. You have to just go for it.

DarthCatch22 · 2019-12-02T03:38:53+00:00

Sounds like you're seeking eyesight. What works for me is dancing and scanning the room. That way I am able to read everything going on around me.

For example I can tell when a girl checks me out without looking directly at her. The benefit of this is they'll check you out much longer than if you were looking at them. Then I can "catch" them stealing a look, now I can approach them if that's what I feel like doing.

Another thing I noticed is girls will respond to you by dancing. Like if they were just standing around and I start to dance, and then they start dancing in response. Obviously they're looking at me, maybe not directly, but at least they're scanning me like I'm scanning them. That gives me the green light to dance with them. Especially if they're mirroring my dance moves.

2019-12-02T04:09:57+00:00

How’s your posture? If you were to look in the mirror would you say that you’re approachable?

I work at a club and most of the guys that get action either are approaching a girl with the confidence that they’re set regardless on how she reacts or they are giving off fun/chill vibes and the girl makes her way over to his vicinity to join in. Typically people want to have fun. If you can demonstrate that while not exuding a sense of “everyone look at me, I AM FUN!!” I think you’ll have a goodnight and meet some girls.

This is based off of my own observations and trials at clubs/concerts around my area so this isn’t 100% going to work.

TANKER_06 · 2019-12-02T04:29:21+00:00

If you just want women to have eye contact with you, wear a glow in the dark outfit, stick strobing LEDs on it and stand near the woman's bathroom. But I'm guessing that's not the kind of eye contact you want.

What is your definition of "exuding high energy"? As far as I'm aware, people are not aware of what they are... exuding; whatever energy they have and others perceive, is a cumulation of what they are and their mental state.

Using terminology I hear from YouTube, if you go with an agenda of having to "score" women, you are already placing yourself in a state of neediness and desperation. Requiring them to hold eye-contact with you even before they met you is a strong indicator of that state.

How do you know that someone is looking at you? Can you imagine a guy dancing wildly, slowly spinning around his eyes wide like some maniac as he scans the room, again and again, waiting for someone to look into his eyes? That is an exaggeration, I hope, but no matter how subtly you do it, can you imagine how weird it is?

A club is called a club, not a cubicle. Your friend talking to a woman you've not seen before? Jump in, say some nice things about your friend, throw a joke or two in, laugh and excuse yourself. The guy beside you seem to have fun? Join him, joke around, talk to another guy. Once in a while, clink glasses/bottles whatever with him, joke, talk about something present in the club. Do that with everyone around you. Eventually, those that don't take kindly to your friendliness will leave, and those who do will crowd around you. They will start to initiate conversations with you, offer to clink their glasses/bottles with you, and not vice versa.

This is the start. You will start getting the attention of the club. People will look at you and go "Who is this man?" and perhaps, even wish for you to make eye contact with them. But you know what? You're having too much fun talking, joking, dancing with others to notice. You're the centre of attraction, and if you have like one of those heat signature readings of the club, but for energy, your area will shine the brightest, because you made it so. That is high energy in a club setting.

And that's when the true magic happens, because, in that state and stage, you can approach any girl and have a conversation and perhaps, do some real exuding, and I ain't talking about energy.

kalz44 · 2019-12-02T15:01:18+00:00

It looks like what you're asking for is for women to make the first move. That doesn't happen normally. You've got to put yourself in a position to be rejected/accepted. You've go to approach women in these situations. It's the only way you won't be "dancing alone".

goonerguy101 · 2019-12-02T19:59:52+00:00

I’m a 100% sure girls were giving you the eye but you obviously missed them or they weren’t your type so you ignored them.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-03T02:43:53+00:00

1

I would honestly approach girls in club if they were to even hold 1.5 seconds on eye contact with me. But I've noticed that most of the time, they don't even look at me. How do I fix this?

The first thing to realize is that if you're getting results this consistent and broad, then you're doing something on your end to lead to this result.

You've mentioned almost nothing about how you're conducting yourself, but we might be able to make some guesses based on the little you've said. I'll ask some follow-up questions you can answer if you want more information.

2

I went with a guy to a concert yesterday. And women just gave him eye contact and smiled at him. He also talked to them. Meanwhile I am dancing besides him. Exuding high energy but somehow I am invisible to everyone.

High energy and people are ignoring you = you're coming off as trying too hard and probably too aggressive.

3

I move to the middle of the floor and see a random guy just swoop in out of nowhere and start kissing a girl who responds positively to the kiss.

Observing as you were doing, is an important skill to develop!

That said, what you saw there was DEFINITELY the tail end of an interaction that had already started, though you were unaware of it. That guy and girl had already been interacting before he came over and "swooped in." It could have been non-verbal through eye contact, facial expressions, and/or gestures, etc. Maybe they had also talked before that. Regardless, he was either coming back to revisit the interaction, or was continuing something you had no idea was going on.

Think about this: it's near impossible to keep track of all the little non-verbal interactions that are going on around you at a club. People can make eye contact from across the club with someone and maybe no one else but them know it's going on.

So that kiss didn't come out of nowhere.

4

The whole thing is pretty frustrating. I would consider myself a winner ....

It definitely can be frustrating. Honestly, clubs are a pretty advanced place to be trying to level up your skills. You can speed things up and make it a bit easier on yourself if you find other kinds of social interactions to sharpen your skills on.

For example, learning a social partner dance (like Salsa, west coast swing, argentine tango, lindy hop, etc.) can help you develop your seduction skills because the same awareness you need to dance with someone goes along with excellent kino, calibration, and being able to read a person quickly, as you need to be able to do in seduction.

mostafalk888 · 2019-12-01T15:58:15+00:00

Yeah i think you are ugly that s why you dont need to hold eye contact before approaching her Just approach her and show her the man inside you and she's all yours

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-01T19:56:19+00:00

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