The truth about dating women - A woman’s perspective

SithLordJediMaster · 2019-12-06T06:53:09+00:00

Status creates sexual attraction in women, then demonstration of desire creates sexual arousal in women.

Without getting too deep into the research on female arousal (it’s messy and confusing, which shouldn’t surprise you), the leading theory on female arousal is women are turned on by bold behaviors, displays of bravery, and direct sexual desire, particularly when directed at the woman who is getting aroused.

What would barbarian Fabio do?

Whether it’s Fabio the Firefighter or the sexy surfer who braves the 20 foot waves in frigid waters or the solider coming home from Nowhere-istan, displays of bravery turn women on more than anything else. If you don’t believe me, go to your local book store and look at the romance novels. Romance novels are basically porn for women, and you’ll find that they all feature warriors, soldiers, bad boys, race car drivers, football players, firefighters, jet pilots, and enter-your-super-sexy-and-dangerous-occupation-here.

And not only are these men racy and exciting, but they’re usually brash and debonair — they say what they want and go after it without apology.

But what does this mean for a couple regular guys like you and me?

It means being nervous around her is going to be a pretty big turn off. Afraid to talk to her, afraid to ask her out, afraid to kiss her, afraid to take her home — Fabio the Firefighter wouldn’t be afraid to ravish the shit of her, so why should you?

What it means is that despite every woman you’ve ever heard complain about men hitting on them, bold displays of interest actually work in your favor the majority of the time, as long as they’re demonstrated in a manner that is not too threatening or disrespectful.

Some examples (for better or worse, these are taken from experience):

Telling a woman she’s beautiful and you’d like to get to know her better. GOOD IDEA

Whistling at a girl on the street and calling her names. BAD IDEA

When a woman seems interested in you, just grabbing her and trying to kiss her. GOOD IDEA

Following a woman for three blocks telling her what you want to do to her sexually. BAD IDEA

Telling a woman you’re kissing where and how you’d like to have sex with her. GOOD IDEA

Touching a woman inappropriately when you don’t know her or have not received interest from her. BAD IDEA

Men typically underestimate how forward they can be with women. And they vastly underestimate how effective being forward and open about their sexual desires is with women who are attracted to them.

A proper and honest sexual expression is powerful, and in our society, rare. In fact, there’s a LOT of societal pressure to hide and disassociate from our sexuality. Many of us grow up with a great deal of sexual shame. And not only does this keep us afraid of expressing our sexual desires openly, but it creates an unhealthy neediness and worship of sex.

Because honest and respectful demonstrations of sexuality are so rare, not only are women aroused by it, but it often hits them like a breath of fresh air.

-Mark Manson

Deboche · 2019-12-06T15:56:45+00:00

This post is so fake. I can't prove it but the way it reads I'm assuming it was written by a dating coach guy to match his "theories". New profile, no posts other than "As a woman, I think..." stuff. Yeah, this is fake.

EDIT: The dating coach has probably commented on his own thread, keep an eye out for that.

xSMUFFINx · 2019-12-06T14:04:19+00:00

As a woman, I also love making a new reddit account and then immediately posting about how bullshit “modern feminism” is

/s I'm a white male like the rest of you fuckers and OP

ZlatanAgrees · 2019-12-06T14:06:32+00:00

You can be nice and not be an asslicker

AStrangeBaguette · 2019-12-06T16:05:28+00:00

YOUR experience isn't EVERYONE ELSE'S experience.

I hate outdated masculine behavior and it's a big turn off for me. I'm not the only one. Please, stop spreading lies just because you have an unhealthy relationship dynamic with men

harryhoudini66 · 2019-12-06T06:20:07+00:00

It's a hard pill to swallow for the typical nice guy. I have been with some very strong independent woman, many that claim to be alpha themselves but they are fine with being submissive to what they feel is a real man. Some of them even bragging how they make the nice guys jump hoops for them.

I would not go as far as to say woman want to be treated bad though. I mean who would want that? It's about high and lows. Its feeling passion and that feeling of being alive. Does that not make life more interesting anyways? Think of the dynamic like a roller-coaster. Do people go on roller coasters because they want to die? Nope. It has ups and downs while at the same time giving you the feeling of being alive because of the danger. However, for the most part you feel safe. Otherwise why would you have gone on it in the first place?

You are right about a lot of these things being primal and again it drives some nice guys’ nuts to hear this but it's the truth. A woman wants to feel protected. In fact feeling safe and secure is something that I commonly hear or feeling like a petite little girl around me. I am 5'7 so it's not like it’s just about height either. Its confidence and how you carry yourself (masculinity). All of this contributes to helping them feel sexy and beautiful.

After seeing me with different girls at a bar, some dude asked me how I did it. When I explained the importance of being confident, direct etc. and how a lot had to do with primal programming, he stopped me there. He refused to accept that component because according to him its modern times and we are not back in time in a cave or jungle. He then asked when the last time I feared for my life was. When I answered that it was when I was 13, he smugly replied that just made his point. I then pointed out that I am male and grew up in a very tough neighborhood. He should ask a girl that question. At that point I pulled my girlfriend aside and had him ask the question without leading her. When she said two days ago he was taken a back and wanted to argue the point because he thought she was being biased. I then grabbed another random female friend passing by and had him ask the same question to her and when she replied last week, he got even more pissed. It was kind of funny but hopefully it made a point as it was all impromptu.

Some of the girls I was seeing or sleeping with had either a husband or boyfriend. Once I found this out I cut them off though as it goes against my values. However, it was not uncommon for some of them to continue to pursue me afterwards citing that they felt their partner was a "pussy" or because they wanted to feel like a woman (Ironically that is when they act more like a little girl though). Other times they said they felt like they were their partners mother. When I asked why they said that, some said their boyfriends were too emotional, indecisive, lacked initiative and when pushed they did not have a back bone. It’s not that they wanted their boyfriends to start random bar fights, be overly macho or abusive. They just wanted reassurance that their partner had their back on an emotional and physical level. Act as their mountain and help lead when necessary. This then translated to great attraction.

I say all of this stuff as a former nice guy. In an effort to overcompensate, I went the direction of the bad boy before I realizing that you can actually balance both sides.

If you read any of the countless books on attraction or seduction, not just the pickup ones, they all say roughly the same thing.

2019-12-06T15:56:44+00:00

Guys chill, this is probably a 3/10 writing this lmao

nedelll · 2019-12-06T15:05:31+00:00

Bullshit text. Some people like "masculine behaviours", others like more soft male type, not a big deal

aubounty · 2019-12-06T04:07:30+00:00

Couldn't agree more. Would love nothing more than to attract women through expressing feelings and giving flowers but thats just not how it works unfortunately.

It's also really sad that with the growth of feminism, men are programmed with behaviours that make them less attractive to women. This means that they grow resentful, and that the frustration between sexes enlarges. Consider how men are told to be nice and respectful. What do they do? They tell a girl she's beautiful and he'd love to spend time with her because she's so special. She inevitably rejects him as "creepy". It's very hard to watch.

Sublem0n · 2019-12-06T11:41:04+00:00

"Real men"? This post is so problematic it hurts

PondScum420 · 2019-12-06T17:02:54+00:00

ITT: people drawing wide conclusions from narrow experiences.

Anytime someone uses the word “real” as in “real man”, “real woman”, “real music” etc. You should take pause and note that whatever is about to be said is a hefty load of garbage.

This is like something my boomer aunt would share on Facebook.

You don’t think there have been feminine men who’ve had prolific sex lives? Or rugged lumberjacks who’ve died jacking off in the woods alone?

This is cringe at its finest.

Sublem0n · 2019-12-06T15:15:35+00:00

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nameisahmad · 2019-12-06T10:44:41+00:00

Never listen to a women for advice

Sublem0n · 2019-12-06T18:05:07+00:00

This post with like it was written by a man trolling.

Fuck outta here with your generalizations of all women.

This is so fucking fake /u/elegantlily LMFAO

SkillaRaw · 2019-12-06T19:28:48+00:00

This post is written by a deluded male who’s never talked to any women ever. In fact he literally made a new profile just to post this.

ParaLegalese · 2019-12-06T13:30:28+00:00

Actual female feminist here and I don’t get a kick out of any of that- but I also make good money and own my own home and am attractive and fit and have men after me all the time. I absolutely do not put up with any bad behavior from men because I don’t have to.

KismetKeys · 2019-12-06T12:25:28+00:00

Being nice has always worked for me. Maybe some of you are construing it as being a pushover?

NorthVilla · 2019-12-06T12:26:37+00:00

Why do all masculine or sexy male behaviours have to be some critique of feminism?

Being a male feminist doesn't mean you have to be a fucking pussy. You can still be confident, tall, flirty, dominant. It doesn't mean you cannot grind with a girl at a club, and it doesn't mean you cannot take the lead and initiative, and it doesn't mean that you cannot be a guys guy. Most notably, it doesn't mean that you cannot display the fact that you are a sexual being to those who show interest in you: it is natural and encouraged, as long as you're socially aware and not an idiot.

In short --> Nice Guy^{^{^TM}} =/= Respectful, decent guy. The former is shitty, the latter is good.

I respect your view, and get what you're trying to say, but again, I don't think these two things are at odds. Maybe it's just because I am in Europe, but I feel like in America this whole shit is a bit overdramatized, or is that just my perception?

clarko271 · 2019-12-06T13:08:54+00:00

What are these "‘outdated’ masculine behaviours that feminists hate"? would love it if someone can elaborate.

LikeHarambeMemes · 2019-12-06T11:44:58+00:00

None of this is incompatible with feminism. You still want to be treated with respect and love, you don't want to be murdered or abused, you want a man who is a good father and makes responsible decisions. Men and women are identical? Never heard any feminist say that exactly.

nostr3bor · 2019-12-06T16:21:20+00:00

This is true. Anyone, not just women, are naturally attracted to people with social status.

2019-12-06T18:09:53+00:00

This post was written by an omega male online gaming addict with a cuck fetish probably

mrrooftops · 2019-12-06T18:29:46+00:00

Why watch a movie when you've already been told the ending. 'Nice guys' vs 'bad boys'

2019-12-06T18:34:39+00:00

Ummm...what?

BonvivantNamedDom · 2019-12-06T19:00:13+00:00

People love to create an utopic image of themselves and they colour the world with it. BUT it doesnt mean that just because they fight for it and try to enforce it that wussies suddenly are as sexy as machos.

hecatontagon_balls · 2019-12-06T19:53:53+00:00

This isn’t true for all women at all not even true for most MATURE women. I thought like this as a 13 year old but wised up at 18.

2019-12-06T22:42:42+00:00

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trialsofpatience · 2019-12-07T00:18:13+00:00

How many other women can give confirmation to these allegations?

SR666 · 2019-12-06T15:30:32+00:00

I guess this explains why I am alone and are likely to die alone.

averypaleperson · 2019-12-06T16:06:11+00:00

Modern feminism doesn't deny inherent differences in men and women... Maybe fringe groups. But go off

Helmet_Icicle · 2019-12-06T13:01:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

greatlifeahead · 2019-12-06T08:44:32+00:00

I totally agree. One of the biggest redpills for me has been in this year when I almost got into a fight two times. First time was when I was walking on the street on a saturday night with some friends from work and a middle-eastern immigrant slapped married co-workers ass. I went between the immigrant and the co-worker and confronted the immigrant and told him to go away. I was ready fight and the immigrant lost his nerve and ran away. After that the married co-worker has been all over me. She is always flirting and at a company party she threw herself at me.

Another time was when I almost got into a fight with a female friend's brother. We were both drunk and interested on same girl and her brother started to tell me how she doesn't want me and how I should leave her to him. I instantly started to shove him and wanted to fight him. He actually got scared and ran way from the situation and later told me that he was sorry. I acted like a huge asshole and he was right. The girl didn't like me and liked him more. Yet after that that girl dropped him because he acted like a pussy in front of her. The crazy thing is after that my female friend has been all over me. She has told me several times that she wants me to fuck her and when I told her that I want that other girl she just tells me she doesn't care she just wants me.

What about the other girl I almost fought over? I acted like a nice guy with her. I told her how special she was to me and I offered to take her to the best restaurant in town after she told me she had never been in a fine dining restaurant. I was always texting and helping her with stuff. Yet she friendzoned me because she has no feelings for me.

sigma_1234 · 2019-12-06T14:54:40+00:00

How do nice guys protect themselves from these? Or better yet, how do they better themselves to be nearer to that thing women want?

I've been a "nice guy" ever since high school to dating, and my ex-gf tells me that I'm nice. I'm scared that this might bite me in the ass when I get married. So, any tips or answers to my questions above? Thanks!

A_Wackertack · 2019-12-06T15:51:56+00:00

"successful" has always been a broad term. Why? Because everyone has a different interpretation of success, a successful man could be a famous musician to a woman, or a successful lawyer, or a successful mechanic, or a successful religious figure. However, this doesn't even need to include a job, anyone can find their version of success in anyway shape or form. Therefore, what is a Superficial Woman's version of a successful man? It differs for them all... What is success? We don't know, and a woman's interpretation of successful is different from another woman's interpretation of it.

Aeon199 · 2019-12-06T04:32:57+00:00

commenting to return to this later

Couldn't agree more as a guy

Luckily Im not bitter since I know this at a young age

but fuck, people need to hear this.

A_Wackertack · 2019-12-06T15:42:31+00:00

The truth about dating men - A man's perspective:

Men don't like Superficial women.

End of.

ternaryoperators · 2019-12-06T16:36:21+00:00

powerful comment:

we play it cool when flirting and hold back how turned on actual masculine approaches make us, but we want it.

codewizbambam · 2019-12-06T18:48:34+00:00

Well I ended up skipping on 90% of the pickup stuff and just play the character card over and over again, does the job better than anything else.

curlyQ007 · 2019-12-06T21:21:06+00:00

A woman did not write this 🤦‍♀️ I see right through u

pinpoz · 2019-12-06T21:25:11+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I wish woman would have been this honest with me early on in my life.

AirborneDodo · 2019-12-06T21:28:17+00:00

It's always nice to get another viewpoint. Thank you OP

2019-12-06T21:34:34+00:00

This really doesn’t apply for germany, at least not in my age range of 20-26. Yet it’s good to know how a woman thinks about it. Thanks for speaking up

SpanishIntuition · 2019-12-06T22:39:08+00:00

So does that mean you're all going to stop playing land of Warcraft and whatever childish video games and come to the clubs with me and my friends? Or let me teach you guys diet and nutrition? How to work out? And how to dress in the right winter and fall fashions? For free. Which I always promised to do? Yes? Maybe?

This badboy scoundrel type persona is what women choose when they have no choice and only get to pick between the scoundrel or the drooling peasant. If given a choice between a warrior or a scoundrel she will ALWAYS choose a warrior.

The confident, protective, strong, disciplined, cuts his own path.

The scoundrel is arrogant, domineering, narcissistic, vain, steals what's easy.

There are many drooling peasants in this world. Then come the badboy failures. Then FINALLY the men. And the crazy thing is, being a man is EASY. And it's FREE. Because you don't have to pay me like you do those pickup artist characters.

Look I'm sorry I'm not some fat bald white guy who plays mario and argues about batman and superman. I'm sorry that I'm a fitness model ok. I'm sorry I don't know anything about pickup routines and I'm sorry that these angry autistic people in this group always accuse me of bragging just because I live a normal non retarded life.

But if you want to be normal. If you want to be not a retard. If you want to be "alpha" (which is just another word for someone with all his marbles intact) send me a message.

Please remember that being ALPHA is just a fancy term for being someone who doesn't have downe syndrome. That's all it is.
So I'll teach you how to be "alpha". And all that other non sensical bullcrap that many of you discuss in this group. I'll even use starwars and video game references. You'll be using the force in no time.

shwasty_faced · 2019-12-06T23:22:54+00:00

I mean, there's almost countless factors that go into attraction and there are studies that back it up...

Example:

A woman on hormonal birth-control (the pill, IUDs, etc.) is significantly more likely be sexually and romantically attracted to a less "masculine" (as you have described) male counterpart than a woman who is not.

But your points about having self-confidence are undeniable; having a concrete sense of identity and self-worth is vital to any relationship between people...romatnic, sexual or platonic.

Sczzlbtt · 2019-12-07T01:07:56+00:00

Not gonna lie, this is all pretty basic and obvious if you don't get caught up in modern feminism and identity politics. Some things might not be socially acceptable, but that has nothing to do with whether or not what is said/done is objectively true/bad or not. Nothing is ever as black and white as they're implied, and nobody is perfect either. We're all capable of amoral behaviour, gender doesn't matter in the slightest. This is real life, not the Disney channel. Embrace the bad and you'll appreciate when people choose to be good

Mortenick · 2019-12-06T13:20:08+00:00

Well thats why im mysoginist. You like assholes so ur assholes. And when the asshole leaves, you just cry because no one loves you. Yeah, right.

LikeHarambeMemes · 2019-12-06T16:49:26+00:00

Feminism is one big shittest of women.

no_re-entry · 2019-12-06T19:38:47+00:00

Men shouldn't take advice from women on how to seduce them or what they want.. but you are the exception with that rule. Great you came to terms with it.

Insaneflirt_max · 2019-12-06T06:24:06+00:00

Nice

cacamalaca · 2019-12-06T18:05:42+00:00

Super happy I don't live in America anymore where it's literally become rocket science to get laid. Most of ya'll probably oblivious to the trainwreck that US dating culture has become.

mrgredditor · 2019-12-06T17:45:45+00:00

I agree with most of OP wrote. I would offer an important caveat, in that a man’s “alphaness” is perhaps one of the most important factors, overcoming the aspect of height and attractiveness. I’m 62, 5’7”, although women say I look late 30s early 40s.

In a room full of alphas, I’ll dominate. I teach mentees how to walk into a room, walk into a group, and own it. I prefer dating alpha women, who desire a strong, alpha male. I do believe that a man’s alphaness is inherent in his personality, there are some elements that can be taught.

And it’s NOT money that gives power. I started my first multimillion dollar project with NO money, just a dogged determination and audaciousness to prove to myself that I could. And it’s not fancy clothes, my standard dress consists of blue jeans, construction boots, solid color button down shirt, at times a sports jacket with coordinated pocket square, an outfit that can be purchased for not much. For years I drove a plain Jane auto, only in recent years did I splurge on a luxury convertible. I’m just a strong willed Mexican with a passionate approach to life.

redditerfan · 2019-12-06T21:26:07+00:00

OP just woke up this morning, thought to create a reddit account and post about cliche topic. Are you a bot paid by reddit or something mister?

2019-12-06T11:44:05+00:00

Guess I want to become this kind of guy. This way I don't have to stick around the lady for too long. I'm really lazy to stay charming and entertaining on extended periods of time, for the same person. Why the burning desire from the first monthes always has to fade. Smh.

Why would a woman want me to stay commited. I'm just a poor man :p

2019-12-06T15:11:33+00:00

It is terrible to go on dates with modern feminists. Everything you do will be over analysed and everything you say compared to some measure of wokeness. Opening a door is seen as oppressive and please no physical contact until all the forms are signed. Can't win with those types. And then there was the vegan who started crying when we walked past a butcher's.

Title	The truth about dating women - A woman’s perspective
Author	ElegantLily
Upvotes	477
Comments	171
Date	December 6, 2019 3:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e6t4xh/the_truth_about_dating_women_a_womans_perspective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-truth-about-dating-women-a-womans-perspective.1485463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1485463

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