I miss having crushes

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2020-04-19T01:45:28+00:00

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REVENGEBLA · 2020-04-19T04:29:37+00:00

I miss having crushed also my friend

dancinqq · 2020-04-19T05:57:11+00:00

I(20 F) kind of understand where you're coming from? At least from guys who i am friends with, a few in particular, had the same issue. Dating for you guys is no longer fun because there's no adventure. There was another comment that stated that you should go for women of higher quality, and i completely agree with that statement! With new social norms, social media, and other factors, dating has been quite vague, and sadly, sometimes boring, for both men and women.

Based on what you said, its boring to talk to girls, but i can't help but wonder, is it because you know they are already interested, or that you know you can achieve a sexual encounter easily? I could be totally wrong, but that's been the case in guys whom i'm friends with

My advice, is to go for a girl who may not be exactly like your type personality wise. I've seen quite a few of my guy friends go from being bored with women (Particularly women who party a lot, and may not be one for a serious relationship) to being captivated by a single girl who is more modest, humble, a little mysterious, and has a higher set of standards of who she sleeps with.

I hope this helps you a little!

htownaliens · 2020-04-19T05:19:32+00:00

Exact same situation as you man. Realized this recently & it sucks. Not sure why or how to change that.

Torwulfer · 2020-04-19T04:54:44+00:00

Everyone goes through this when they discover game and have their first taste of success. A phase of nihilism when they realize their idealized romantic image of what love is or should be, just isn't reality.

Also, you're probably just remembering the passed with rose tinted glasses. It'll pass.

Sanfraniceman · 2020-04-19T07:15:52+00:00

Unpopular opinion, fuck seduction. (But not really) There are only a few reasons you should be on here, one is to tell others them, or give to people some confidence. I’ll say on thing. If you are good person, nice, and amiable, and a gentleman, you’ll meet the one for you and you know when you will. I have had the same issue, and right now and that’s completely normal, it’s university and many feel the same. Just trust in yourself and fate. Stoicism isn’t what you have, but you do need it. It’s about being emotionally strong on the outside but also having plenty of emotion on the inside. You harness stoicism by channeling your emotions into something greater than yourself, just like Winston Churchill. And like Britain of 1940, you need stoicism. Quit fucking around for a while and go out there and channel yourself into something. That’s when you’ll find a girl, because she’ll want to share in that. And you’ll know because it’s more than just falling head over boots.

2019ForestHillsDrive · 2020-04-19T05:18:20+00:00

In senior year I formed a crush on this girl who sat with me in back to back classes. It was the last semester of high school and the classes were jokes so we mostly just spent all class talking about whatever. She was always super nice to me but we never talked outside of school except for class stuff. It was so weird, it was exactly that type of crush you’re describing where your heart flutters a little when you see them or you just enjoy talking to them even though you dont know them below the surface level. It was weirdly innocent, I felt like i was a 13 year old middle schooler again.

KLKemke · 2020-04-19T08:43:53+00:00

The whole reason you bother to learn game in the first place is so when you do come across that woman who you are instantly drawn to, you can demonstrate value and have the confidence to be able to talk to her. Nothing creates confidence with women like banging a lot of women. Think of them as practice until a truly high value girl comes along and interests you!

Applebeezman · 2020-04-19T06:47:14+00:00

Read The Art of seduction by Robert Greene. That books whole take on seduction is a more time consuming, exciting, and intense one. It has different flavors for everyone but in gist after reading it you’ll have the knowledge to be a puppet master in your own grand seductive adventures. I tend to go back to it when cold approaches and short relationships get boring. When I want to go on a romantic adventure so to speak. I find trying your hand at the seductive process as listed in the book is also much more of a challenge and therefore imo a lot more fun than cold approaches and the like.

BigH1239 · 2020-04-19T01:37:15+00:00

Are you using routines or canned openers and lines? Scrapping those can make it seem a lot more natural for you and less robotic. Also if you do use certain techniques try your best to add twists to it on the spot so you get that sense of ownership over what you say

QawL · 2020-04-19T10:04:45+00:00

Keep looking. When I broke up with my gf I thought I'll never love anyone like that, in a sense it was true. I had crushes but all was different from the other. And still I met someone makes me shiver. The key is meeting new people. You'll see there are different levels of intimacy you'll get, all different from the other.

smoothmax · 2020-04-19T01:50:43+00:00

This situation doesn't describe me ... but now that you mention it some PUA coaches rather than being "slayers" who sleep with lots of women every week, actually go from girlfriend to girlfriend with relationships that last from a few months to a few years.

I couldn't say if it's because they were bored with doing pickup, or got obsessed with one girl, or what.

I've been in long term relationships before but I was always fantasizing about other women. Always thinking, damn I like my gf but what about those women at work, that I met in my schooĺ and social circles and so on. Craving variety is why I started learning game.

I think it's a question of how you're hooked up.

2020-04-19T09:05:30+00:00

Suffering From Success- DJ Khalid

Pseudohol · 2020-04-19T10:37:16+00:00

Can agree on the higher quality part. There is nothing wrong with having crushes. Let them occur naturally, and most importantly, not because of neediness.

89percent · 2020-04-19T13:19:50+00:00

Had that same experience when I was 17-18, and started reading about the game and seduction.

Only during the last few years have I realized that basic seduction techniques almost replaced my personality and authentic self, to the point where I found it exhausting to "game" girls just for the approval.

In retrospect I think it's important not to forget your values and who you are.

cartrav · 2020-04-19T13:51:18+00:00

I (21F) feel the same. I miss having a crush. Someone who, when they text me, I light up. When my mood goes from 0 to 100 in minutes. I haven’t had that in about 2 years. And when I thought I had it last, it was actually just anxiety because the crush wasn’t reciprocated. That’s what I want most: a crush and to have it be reciprocated.

DeeDee-McDoodle · 2020-04-19T15:27:52+00:00

That’s because you can’t filter for that. You need to stop looking for hot girls and looking for girls that have personality traits that you like. Often hot girls do not have to develop those.

vitamin-cheese · 2020-04-19T16:06:27+00:00

Maybe it just happens when you get older, not so much a seduction thing. I don’t get crushes anymore either. Every once in a while maybe a mild one but it can go away pretty quick and I don’t really dwell on I too much. A couple years ago I very strong one for a girl at work that might be the only really strong one I’ve had in over 5 years maybe 10

2020-04-19T08:06:10+00:00

It’s rhythm bro. You get a lot of superficial hoes. You need 1 real one.

MinCad · 2020-04-19T11:17:23+00:00

You miss being a simp, but you're far from being a pimp

Valyarian · 2020-04-19T08:23:33+00:00

I know this feeling, went through that same withdrawal phase. Some good advice in this post tho.

Theotakushenanigans · 2020-04-19T15:22:45+00:00

Dj khaled: Suffering from success.

(Sorry OP, also as far as I can think when you get in to the game of cold approaches you start getting to know people who are in that circle only, like you won't meet a shy introvert person at a bar or like a public gathering, and maybe changing that circle will help you out. You have been bombarded with so much same stimuli you have become numb (kinda) so changing the circle and also maybe you could change your own mentality but by bit and change the reason why you approach a girl. Like a one night stand approach would be different from a relationship kinda approach. Good luck OP).

NjalBorgeirsson · 2020-04-19T05:19:37+00:00

If you miss it, slow things down a bit. Its not like you can't go back if you don't like it.

jgamez6 · 2020-04-19T14:02:37+00:00

Between the folks saying the seduction techniques don't work and those saying they do, what do you say worked for you? Is it as simple as going up to a girl ( this is the hardest part lol) and talking about something?

tanka4 · 2020-04-19T16:23:32+00:00

Edit: It's worth noting that this happens to everybody as they pursue anything. Rich people realize that being rich does not make them happy, then that sends them on a path of deeper self inquiry. The same thing happens with dating. You got what you wanted, and it still feels off, now you get to go deeper in finding out who you are and coming up with a clearer definition of what you truly want (as opposed to what society told you you should want).

A lot of what makes most insecure people (especially teenagers) attracted to each other is their shared helplessness. For so many people, love tastes like "She'll save me from myself!" That's not love, that's attachment.

As you become more mature, confident in your skin, driven by growth, you soon realize that a majority of women out there have no direction, no purpose, are lost. It's almost disgusting, they call it sex and dating, but it's often just a succession of sad desperate moves. They want you because your drive attracts them, but you're no longer attracted to that kind of vibe, which makes them even more attracted.

Time for you to let the insecure girls do their thing, even if they're hot, and go find the hot mature women who match your vibration. Good job man on admitting to yourself how you truly feel and intending to follow that.

jackzander · 2020-04-19T16:33:41+00:00

From my experience, crushes need to Develop and ferment to have any potency. This usually involves meeting someone somewhat platonically, or with only light flirtation. Crushes seem to grow when you have time to observe someone and feel interested, without actually acting on it for whatever reason.

I'm in a semi-open LTR, so while I approach most people platonically, there's always space and potential for something more. My market is also very small and tricky to maneuver in, so I tend to get to know people pretty well before Making Moves.

Coincidentally, I crush on everyone before anything romantic actually happens. I really do think it's factor of Time and Exposure before you're actually sure that it's On.

Cold-approaching quite literally (and purposefully) skips this time frame. You quickly find out whether someone's interested in you, often before you find out much else about them worth crushing on.

ShaggyShagswell42000 · 2020-04-19T16:39:39+00:00

I'm 40. I have a crush for the first time in 10 years. I'll let ya know how it goes.

urgentc · 2020-04-19T16:52:40+00:00

You advance so you need to find hq hotties. Trust me they will make you go bonkers

hope2overcome · 2020-04-19T17:08:27+00:00

Similar problem here. I can see an attractive girl, her perfect curves but it doesnt induce the butterflies. Now, small things get my motors going. I remember being in an elevator with a girl who has a serious crush on me, i mainly ignored her to give more attention to hotter girls. But that one elevator moment when i overheard her talking to her friend and the energy and enthusiasm she showed when talking about this production project they were working on. Damn that was hot for some reason, i still dont get the butterflies but i am seriously attracted to her now. I guess look for someone with an good wavelength and the small things. Know and love yourself and love when someone else loves you too.

MrMemper · 2020-04-19T17:22:59+00:00

While this may just be a humble brag (I don’t give a shit). The reality is that this is what happens fellas. Women as a whole stop becoming an item of heightened interest. But this is when a truly intriguing woman stands out that will win your attention beyond your interest.

OP you have merely removed the plugs from the matrix farm and are beginning to see reality for what it is.

BLOCKEDBYJAMESS · 2020-04-19T18:07:14+00:00

22 M. I recently had a crush and it was nice. I made a move and it didn't work, but unlike my teenage self I am now living with rejection rather than regret.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2020-04-19T19:33:51+00:00

I went through something similar - just stopped being interested in meeting and fucking more girls. I almost felt obligated to sleep with a girl if she was hot and interested in me. But at the same time, I didn’t want to let off the gas because I knew that I would revert back to being a beta bitch.

The thing that helped me was getting to know myself really well and then getting really picky.

So for example, I’ve always liked Pop punk music. I used to sing in a pop punk band and I still listen to that genre even tho it’s not popular any more. I also like girls that are smart, sophisticated and like to have deep conversations. As you can imagine, it’s very hard to find pretty, smart, sophisticated girls that are also into pop punk. But when I do find them, I get really excited and I get that “we were meant to be together feeling.”

A lot of guys with out game might read this and think “so all I have to do is be myself and I’ll get the girl of my dreams?”.

No, the trick is to completely love yourself AND use game to present yourself attractively. Then you can go out into the world and confidently search for the kind of women that actually make you happy.

jlwip · 2020-04-19T21:37:28+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2020-04-21T06:45:29+00:00

Tl;dr - Since I got good at seduction I know longer crush on any specific girl and I really miss crushing on girls, what did you do or change in your seduction to start like specific girls again instead of just casting a wide-ass net?

This is a common problem in this scene. It's really not that hard to figure this stuff out when we get right down to it.

But once you have choices, the task becomes figuring out what you actually want and keeping yourself to a standard instead of going for everything possible.

The tricky part is that the validation you can get from hooking up with new girls all the time, is really easy to get addicted to.

Barbiefan · 2020-04-19T13:19:29+00:00

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extinctnimish · 2020-04-19T17:17:10+00:00

Not an answer but wdym by 'cold approach'?

erottawa · 2020-04-19T17:28:35+00:00

Crushes are just a form of immaturity. Basically, it means you are falling for a girl without even knowing her. That's just stupid.

Save your strong feelings for a woman who deserves it - someone who proves her commitment to you, who proves she is worth those intense feelings.

cfbovernfl · 2020-04-19T20:09:39+00:00

That's a blue pill Hollywood fantasy. You only lusted after them, you never loved or even knew them.

joaopfg · 2020-04-19T15:54:31+00:00

Is it strange to say that im working to be that type of guy? If i have 2 girls to talk that are 7/10 or 8/10 i feel on the top. I know, its weird

lilfishbowl · 2020-04-19T17:24:45+00:00

1st world problem. No big worry

Keithlct · 2020-04-19T06:31:26+00:00

You still wanna have crushes... Come on dude. Work on those dream girl that you always wanted. Bang the shit out of them... Lol

TheMailmanic · 2020-04-19T05:34:44+00:00

Quit being a bitch and accept it

Title	I miss having crushes
Author	jlwip
Upvotes	623
Comments	67
Date	April 19, 2020 1:24 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g3z326/i_miss_having_crushes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-miss-having-crushes.1494253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1494253

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