Is there a simple way to not view women as better than you? I can't help it no matter how hard I try.

revente · 2020-12-21T00:14:02+00:00

Idk where you stand in your life. But if you make all improvements a guy can realistically do in one year:

-start new hobbies

-regularly work out and diet

-host some parties or events for your social circle

-work on your career and have a general drive

You are already cooler than 95% of the girls out there. Most of them are frankly just lame basic girls.

PhantomPR3D4T0R · 2020-12-21T00:09:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

throwthisTFaway01 · 2020-12-21T06:11:32+00:00

Whenever you take a shit. Just thinking about all the hot women taking meaner period shits. There you go.

TravonM · 2020-12-21T00:11:29+00:00

You need to expose yourself to beauty on a consistent basis. Maybe get a job in the strip club or a woman’s clothing department. The more you get around beauty the more desensitized you will be to it and you’ll naturally let go of the illusion beauty creates.

Blessed-Elvish-Rage · 2020-12-20T23:55:42+00:00

I really hope someone else provides a great answer. The only thought that comes into my mind is being very self confident but even that can be difficult when you really don't want to screw up.

2020-12-21T00:16:27+00:00

Don't think negatively.

You are scared. When you will find your fear, and will be able to name it, you will be safer.

Are you scared of being rejected? Lose value?

ld20r · 2020-12-21T14:21:51+00:00

I think as evil as it sounds you need to see Women fail in situations. Tv, Instagram, Porn, Dating Apps and films build them up to be this untouchable powerful object that have no weaknesses but they do. They are human beings like me and you.

If you haven’t seen a woman get upset or cry then go do it. Not from a place of hatred or resentment but simply to realize they are not untouchable.

Watch videos of men rejecting women and desensitize yourself to the reality that women are no different than any other human being even if society says otherwise. They grieve, they get hurt and they get their heart broken.

It’s the same for musicians, sports, business or any life interest. You sometimes need to see and realize that people fall on their ass, just to make you realize that they are no different to you or any other person.

Everyone has flaws and mistakes and no one is perfect. It’s important to acknowledge that every now and then.

When you realize this fact, then you immediately remove people off the pedestal we sub consciously put them on.

MakeSail · 2020-12-22T10:47:46+00:00

So why are you intimidated by women's beauty when you are 33 years old?

From your description in the post I would say you are emotionally immature, perhaps being delayed through unaddressed psychological disorders.

Emotionally mature adults do not feel compelled to compare themselves to others, men or women. They see and accept themselves as unique, such that, any comparison is pointless.

berttbeans996 · 2020-12-21T00:09:24+00:00

Self improvement

IceColdWrist · 2020-12-21T00:57:47+00:00

Nobody is perfect and despite any of our perceived flaws we should always think to ourselves that we're good enough. Either way, anybody thats worth being around is willing to look past our imperfections the same way we look past their own.

MakeSail · 2020-12-21T03:49:49+00:00

How old are you?

DJGammaRabbit · 2020-12-21T05:24:41+00:00

You ever get into a relationship, get tired of things and just start complaining left & right, wondering if youre the asshole in this situation and do you even care?

It’s not about actually being better than women which doesn’t make any sense at all.

It’s about feeling as good, most would just say “better than”, who you want, right?

Just say to yourself “eh, I bet if we were together, it’d be 5 months and I’d be like are we really right for each other?” Or something along the lines of getting absolutely rid of oneitis to the point you’re comfortable cat & mousing women “for fun”. It’s just insecurity.

DapperDandy22 · 2020-12-21T05:44:57+00:00

I think you're overly sensitive to beauty because its scarce in your world. Do you go out regularly where there are a lot of beautiful women? I've heard in countries like Ukraine and Russia where there are a plethora of beautiful women the men are not as paralyzed by their beauty as we are in the west because beautiful women are abundant in those countries.

What I've been doing is going out on a regular basis, and putting myself in proximity of many beautiful women. I believe this can potentially be an effective strategy. At some point obviously I will start approaching, but I think this is an effective first step. I struggle the same as you. Hopefully it works out. But I believe step 1 if your not doing it go out of your house regularly and be around a lot of hot women, and perhaps get close to them, up to the point where discomfort becomes a little too much to handle, stay there for a little bit, and then walk away.

searchuserdatabase · 2020-12-21T06:31:47+00:00

Somewhere in your disempowering thought is a comparison and a judgement about your self worth.

scorp-rising · 2020-12-21T07:22:40+00:00

Not sure if this anxiety comes from just seeing someone beautiful or spending time with them? I am sure if you actually spend time with someone like that you’ll find out very quickly how human we all are despite our looks. It’s easy to be intimidated from a distance. Find a way to expose yourself to more people you find beautiful whether its through friendship or romantically, and see if that helps your anxiety. Although, i would say that putting someone down or picking on their negative traits might not be the best way to build yourself up.

Sometimes our insecurities can make up a whole reality in our mind that might not be true and we end up self- sabotaging. E.g, I am pretty average height for a woman - 5’7” and I was seeing a guy who was shorter than me about 5’5-5’6”. I felt a little awkward at first but his personality was very sweet and funny and i got over it. However, when we went out he would get timid and quiet and become not himself.

Also, look into attachment theory! You might have an anxious attachment style and fear of abandonment. If you are you can work to become more secure and be a solid partner to someone instead of relying on them to soothe your anxieties and digging yourself into a black hole of self-sabotage. Good luck!

formula453 · 2020-12-21T08:47:29+00:00

Uh... divorce.

Divorce utterly and entirely annihilated that pedestal compulsion of mine.

You can call it divorce. You can also call it realism.

18cmOfGreatness · 2020-12-21T15:43:13+00:00

Let me be straight with you. Among all the answers in this thread, none of them would be helpful to you. Because you aren't scared of women. Unlike everyone else tells you, you aren't really putting women on a pedestal. It is all about you. This is always about you. You idolize attractive women because they can give you something you crave with all your soul. I'm not talking about sex. What I'm talking about is validation. In the end, women and sex are just tools for you even if you are probably not ready to acknowledge it yet. They are a tool to make you feel awesome. They are a tool for you to know that you are amazing. In the end, you are just one step away from starting hating them like incels and nice guys do.

You can't solve it by trying to belittle women inside your head. Instead, you should start from learning how to love and respect yourself. How to treat yourself as the most important person in your life. How to treat women as not a prize to win, but as people to connect with or as people who should earn your investment first. You aren't putting women on a pedestal, rather you are putting yourself in a pit. You don't need women to be awesome, to be a real man or to love yourself. Sex isn't a prize or a reward. There is nothing to win there.

Sawhung · 2020-12-21T15:57:48+00:00

What you’re describing is your sense nervous that comes into frame when talking to people you don’t regularly hold regular conversations with. That nervousness I’m familiar with and comes and goes. The best thing you can do is to breathe deeper and slow down your overthinking by listening more. Slowing down is more important than responding. When you’re nervous you’re likely to respond faster because you’re trying to maintain some sense of the situation rather than comment on the topic on hand without other influences.

You should also decide before during and after talking to people if your intent was just to be friendly or to be more than or less than friendly. This will help you maintain some level of control of your feelings because you’ve taken the power mentally by naming the problem in your head. Taking things really slow and pushing those intrusive thoughts out can be very important if you understand what you want out of the conversation. If you become changed in that mental state in conversation I think it’s ok to let it be known using your emotional maturity to admit your opinions/ feelings if necessary.

Overthinking also leads to more seriousness. So, less overthinking will likely reward you more of surface level conversations at time, not always 100% true but I find it true to my experiences

prettydirtyboy · 2020-12-21T23:55:54+00:00

Once you realize a high percentage of women act the same, basically like robots, attractiveness won’t matter.

ninjaboy79 · 2020-12-22T10:50:08+00:00

Exercise 1. You fix it in your mind. In your mind there is a pedestal that you put them on. You need to take them off of the pedestal and in their place put a statue with a sign on it reserved for a future partner. Then stand on the pedestal.

The reality is no matter how cute, how smart, how much you can see a life with them until you talk to them, hang out with them, and get to know them. The good the bad and the ugly. They are just another person trying out for the position of being your partner.

Exercise 2. Look around and pick a handful of random people that you would normally date. Think of the most attractive one. You ask them out they say yes. You shoe up and they talk about their ex the entire time and are chronically on their phone.
Next! The next person shows up you have a good te you end up back at her place and it looks like a bomb went off. Dishes are piled up in the sink the smell is revolting. You cut the evening short.
Next! The person shows up orders the most expensive things on the menu and double dinners and double deserts and expects you to pay for everything.
Next! The conversation is non stop sex. You ask the about themselves and it is sex talk you play along and even. Hook up with them. The next morning you notice the condom was empty. They said they took it off mid session because they hate the feel.

Dating is the tryout to weed out crazy. Doing mental simulations like this help to keep things grounded.

thelastking777 · 2020-12-22T18:41:09+00:00

I feel the same way...

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2020-12-23T01:05:47+00:00

Let a few break your heart or fuck up your head. They'll fall off that pedestal

TosACoinToYourSwitch · 2020-12-24T19:54:07+00:00

Honestly? I start at conversation. I'm actually entertaining as fuck to talk to. And I seek the same. I want a woman who can and does make me laugh, who can tell me a good story like I tell her, who can match me and have me enjoying myself purely because of the conversation as much as I can have her enjoying herself.

Its a real equalizer for me. No matter how pretty, how anything any woman is, if we're just having a conversation, there's fundamentally no inequality in how well we can talk to each other, entertain each other, open up and share shit about our lives. Sure, maybe she can date anyone she wants. Are all those guys gonna be able to be as fun in conversation as me? Is she going to be able to entertain me as well as she can them?

I have pretty high standards for interpersonal interaction and lose interest quickly if a woman is not engaging. This is true from casual sex to dating and relationships. I have no interest in casual sex with boring people (genuinely, it sucks, they're usually terrible in bed) and I would say that at this point perhaps you need to spend some time validating yourself if you are approaching women you're attracted to from an inherently inferior position.

Abundance mentality helps. I'm picky as fuck. From my perspective, less than 1% of women are women I would want to ever date personally and maybe 10% are people I'd personally want to sleep with and enjoy it. That still leaves millions of women for me to choose from and interact with. There truly are plenty of fish in the sea.

DybbukTX · 2020-12-27T21:27:59+00:00

Just clarify exactly what the situation really is. Women do have more value than you in the dating market. They have something you want, that is not easy to get. Meanwhile, what you have is fairly easy for them to get.

All that means is that you have unfortunate constraints you need to learn to work with. It says nothing about whether someone is "better" or "worse". As an analogy, imagine there is a collectible you really want, and only one guy on eBay or Amazon has it, and he wants more money for it than you're willing to pay. Because he has something you really want, does that make him "better" than you?

Title	Is there a simple way to not view women as better than you? I can't help it no matter how hard I try.
Author	alamurda510
Upvotes	37
Comments	44
Date	December 20, 2020 11:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kh5962/is_there_a_simple_way_to_not_view_women_as_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-there-a-simple-way-to-not-view-women-as-better.1507452 https://theredarchive.com/post/1507452

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