10 months of separation. Moved out around 2 months ago. Went on 6 dates. Got some decent practice in. All of them wanted a boyfriend which is something I’m not doing right now. Custody battle is in full swing. One of these in particular showed some legitimate interest but again communicated that she was looking for some serious.

So I turned off the apps again. Going back into monk mode. NEED TO REPAIR MY BROKEN PARTS THAT REQUIRE VALIDATION. Must learn to get through life without it. I must learn to thrive without external validation. I’m Doing it but I feel so dead and empty. Broken inside. I’m surviving but it’s a challenge. I’m good looking and can easily get a lady if I want too. I need to heal so I can break the cycle.

I have deep trauma from childhood. I belief I suffered abuse from the age of 3 possibly even younger. My mother’s rages were severe and they damaged my psyche. It’s the reason I ended up marrying someone like my STBXW. We are very similar.

Monk mode for me entails absolutely no dating. No talking to women period unless they are strictly friends. And deep therapy and prayer to rebuild my broken core.

Thanks and good luck