Living Together while Separated

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-06-12T12:16:46+00:00

I’m doing the same man. I can’t afford my own apartment and the mortgage at the same time. STBX is broke as fuck, and she would let the house go into foreclosure. It sucks, but get to see my kid like I want. What I do for ease, is leave every other weekend to go stay with friends or fly home to visit family.

ninjaxams4 · 2024-06-12T00:03:37+00:00

Stuck in the same situation man, shit sucks.

She filed the beginning of last month after having told me in February that she wanted a divorce. Waiting on papers to be served.

I’ve done so much for this woman, even tolerated a fucking affair as best I knew how. Beyond furious and hurt.

The silver lining is I get to live with my kids fulltime and my dogs, all of which are 10 and at the end of their lives, get to stay in a proper house with an actual yard. My two shepherds have severe anxiety and theres no way they would be tolerated in an apartment setting. I wouldn’t be able to afford the house after a refinance especially with things the way they are rn.

I’m sorry your going through the same mess my guy, its an awful thing. You’ll make it tho, just like I will.

JohnnyD77711 · 2024-06-11T18:19:57+00:00

I did the same. She eventually moved out. Stand your ground, brother. Also, my understanding is that if YOU leave this could have negative legal and financial implications/outcomes for the eventual divorce settlement.

catter3423 · 2024-06-11T16:58:59+00:00

I did it for 8 months. It’s brutal! Fortunately house was two levels so she mostly stayed downstairs. Best thing we did was make it like we were apart and dealing with kids was 50/50. Had our weeks on and weeks off.

I spent a lot of time out at cinema, pub, with friends etc. Anything to get out of there. Lots of time in bedroom with door closed.

It’s tough. Good luck.

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2024-06-11T15:46:57+00:00

Do NOT move out.

I also did the "power struggle" for the master bedroom for a good while. One day while she went and visited with her boyfriend I moved all her stuff into another bedroom. As you can imagine, it was WW3 when she returned. In the end, she remained in the spare room but I almost had to call the police.

RaiderCC16 · 2024-06-11T12:23:11+00:00

I can’t even imagine having to do that. I’m separated and she choose to leave. The house is quiet when the kids are at camp (I work from home) and at night it’s filled with their laughter. I couldn’t imagine having her here knowing we weren’t together and were just roommates. Granted my situation is different (she cheated) so I would constantly be thinking who is she on the phone with. It’s easier that she’s not here and I don’t have to see her. Stay strong and hold firm. She wanted out. She needs to leave. I would at least tell her she needs to leave the bedroom so that you can have a sanctuary for yourself to process everything without her around.

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2024-06-11T08:30:09+00:00

I’ve been divorced for more than a year and cohabitating. Legally we’ve settled everything. She never left. I cashed her out and legally kept the house. She’s basically paying me staying here and watching my kids while I’m at work. I will never marry her or anyone else again but I think if things r working out themselves without marriage or anything on paper, it is totally fine especially when u have kids together. Give it some time

upvotersfortruth · 2024-06-11T08:27:21+00:00

Why won’t you leave the bedroom?

ColorlessGem-n-eye · 2024-06-11T06:45:25+00:00

You have to remember... she wants to separate, then separate. You are no longer responsible to her, nor are you responsible for her figuring out where the fuck she's going. She won't live on the street, you know this. Too long I got run over for trying to just be nice and provide, and just be a good person... it only fucks you in the end.

Practical_Ad510 · 2024-06-11T05:06:28+00:00

Be the king of your Castle hold your ground. She doesn't want to be with you she knows where the door is.. if you want to fix it and you recognize where you fell short then work on it. If it's her choice let it be her choice. Worst thing I ever did was walk out of my home. You never get it back

Arislan · 2024-06-11T03:40:44+00:00

In the same situation brother, been 5 months and counting for me. Agreement should be finalized before the end of the summer then we sell the house. It’s brutal and even moreso with two young kids. Hang in there my man.

arndt095 · 2024-06-11T03:24:11+00:00

Hang in there! I had to stay in my house until an agreed parenting time schedule.

This is only a short time frame in your life

kellyjj1919 · 2024-06-11T02:43:44+00:00

I spent 5k to get my wife out of the house

734PdisD1ck · 2024-06-11T01:45:05+00:00

I'm in the beginning stages. Haven't signed anything yet, but we have a date (end of May). It's the date I kicked her out of the bedroom.

She has no family and she's the breadwinner. I make less than teacher money, so I feel you!

drtij_dzienz · 2024-06-11T01:30:58+00:00

Should motivate both of you to finalize divorce. My friend has been separated over a year now, hasn’t even hired attorney

Title	Living Together while Separated
Author	Then-Alps8928
Upvotes	17
Comments	50
Date	June 11, 2024 12:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dd0sif/living_together_while_separated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/living-together-while-separated.1521186 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521186

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