Is the intensity of need of love natural or built by 'society'?

wtknight · 2024-07-19T18:02:04+00:00

My question is, if historically and scientifically we know that half the men should** not reproduce, then should men not be more used to pain of rejection or being alone?

No, because the historic reason most men did not reproduce is because they died in battle. Men surviving past early adulthood and not reproducing is not historically normal, and men probably haven’t adapted evolutionarily to deal with it.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-07-19T17:57:36+00:00

We know for a fact, only 50% of males are able to pass down their genes in our types of species.

Do we know this to be a fact? Are you going to provide a source for this fat that we apparently all know?

wildrojst · 2024-07-19T20:17:01+00:00

Love as an emotion itself is evolutionarily natural. It’s meant to keep couples together for the sake of raising children.

Sociological rituals of courtship, religious ideas of lifelong marriage, societal expectations placed on both sexes, mononormativity - that’s social constructs.

Not saying they’re entirely detrimental - they have social purpose as they’ve served some throughout consecutive past generations (usually to consolidate social structure and capital). Still social constructs though.

GymBroTRT · 2024-07-19T18:25:29+00:00

It’s built by society.

Both men and women get messages from songs, TV, movies, books and poems about how love is a requirement for happiness. “All you need is love…”, “I can’t go on living without you baby” and “people who need people are the luckiest people in the world” and so and so forth.

But I think men have it a little worse, because in addition to this brainwashing, society also leverages men’s high sex drive to get men to work hard. Every advertisement targeting men usually features a hot woman. Society is subliminally telling men that women are more important than his career, car, watch, and happiness. That women are the ultimate goal in life (that can only be reached if you consume and scale new peaks and are more productive than the next 20 members society).

This is a great motivator to get men to work hard and contribute to society. But it also makes them needy and sad.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-07-19T18:07:36+00:00

You're buying into the feminist propaganda trying to dismiss, blame, and shame men for their loneliness as something that shouldn't exsist. But in the past, when societies were more cooperative, a man could have pride in contributing to a community that appretiated him for his efforts. The most primitive of hunter-gatherer societies were suprisingly egalitarian and democratic. This connection struggles to exsist under the egoist individualism of the West.

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Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-07-19T18:02:40+00:00

Is the intensity of need of love natural or built by ‘society’?

It’s developed, but you can develop it based on natural facts about yourself that make it beneficial for you or by taking others on faith.

There is a natural need for humans to reproduce and have a partner.

People are naturally horny. The desire to reproduce is from people choosing to value having kids. And having kids can be beneficial to you based on natural facts about yourself.

Capable_Army2705 · 2024-07-19T18:08:24+00:00

It's built by society imo. No one " taught me " it was cool to have lots of girls interested in you until I was in the 7th grade. Of course, I started feeling attraction to girls well before, but the longing to actually get a girlfriend came after the social ostracization came for not having one.

sprckets21 · 2024-07-19T18:15:20+00:00

Have you ever had your heart broken? Love is real, it’s intense.

Unless you’re under 5’2” and still live with your parents you don’t have to die alone. Don’t let theory of the last 30k years of genetics pushed by Jordan Peterson dictate thoughts in your life like that.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-07-19T19:21:00+00:00

Considering that mating is a phenomenon observed in many different species, love and longing for one is probably one of the biological mechanics to drive us into mating in the first place. Which obviously is natural.

topforce · 2024-07-19T20:43:52+00:00

We know for a fact, only 50% of males are able to pass down their genes in our types of species. So, half of the men should statistically be dying alone virgin.

I'm not sure that's accurate take. Imagine city gets sacked. All the men get murdered. Pretty women get taken along as loot.

if half of men PROBABLY die alone...then should men not be tougher against such pain?

No, there is no evolutionary incentive for that, because no descendants. Traits that increase reproductive chance are more likely to be passed on, the rest doesn't matter.

obviousredflag · 2024-07-19T20:54:12+00:00

There is a natural need for humans to reproduce and have a partner.

There is no need to reproduce. There is a drive to have sex. That still exists if you disable the ability to get pregnant from it. Why do you think we have the fretillity rates we see if reproduction was a natural need for humans?

My question is, if historically and scientifically we know that half the men should** not reproduce, then should men not be more used to pain of rejection or being alone?

No, because that would work in the opposite direction of what is evolutionarily beneficial. It must be a living hell to not have sex, only then are you motivated enough to do everything you can to change that. If it was comfortable/pleasant to not have sex, this would not become a dominat allele.

Men evolved to be able to take more risks and to like competition, We are made to succeed in this mating dynamic. Still, some men are the losers in this competition.

.given 50% should technically never procreate.

It's not a given and not a should.

**By should I mean like...not that I wish that this is true...but if everything reset...thats how things WOULD be.

It WOULD not be that way. Human reproductive success is affected by culture. Societal piece is affected by if men get women to a certain degree. Can the successful men keep the unsuccessful men peaceful? Look at gaming and porn. It's a pacifier to ensure social peace.

I think, that through out our childhood, we are brainwashed that you are incomplete without the other half(man/women). They almost install a fear file of dying alone. This is mostly parents and media I would say. So like...its a valid point...but assuming normally most men should die alone...I think it is as sad as it is because we learn from young age how incomplete men/women are without their partner. If such importances were reduced, I believe it would be a lot more easier to get used to it.

Nobody is incomplete without a partner. We have an evolutionarily based drive of love, that is compised of lust, attraction and attachment. And is there to make us find partners to have sex with, want to have sex with them, do everything that is needed so they want to have sex with us, and then stick together with them long enough so we can both care about the offspring that happened from the sex. Love is a tool to ensure our offspring is cared for, because otherwise, nobody would fucking stay around for that shitshow. There is nothing romantic about it.

. If such importances were reduced, I believe it would be a lot more easier to get used to it.

You cannot reduce the importance of the MAIN evolutionary thing that is there to correlate with reproductive success, and guaranteed it before we took reproduction and decoupled it from sex drive.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-07-20T00:48:37+00:00

It’s both.

We have an innate desire for relationships with others, reproduction, etc. But our desires are also impacted by our socialization, as well as their objects, manifestations, etc.

For example, men don’t have an innate biological drive to pursue specifically ‘big tiddie goths.’ But breast size is an evolutionary signal — and the goth aesthetic as an object of desire is produced in people by a variety of socially-influenced causes.

In other words, nature and nurture play a role.

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Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-19T17:58:34+00:00

Very comendable view of men. But I think you are overthinking it and being too optimistic. Most guys just dont have love and company high in their priorities. It is good and all but if you dont have it? you dont mind either way. but you know something that men have high in their priorities? sex. Men just talk about "lonelyness and love" because it is more socially acceptable than saying you are horny. Add to that the multitude of men who are not experienced enough to understand the difference of lust and love and you will see what you see now...

Title	Is the intensity of need of love natural or built by 'society'?
Author	Strict_Rent5466
Upvotes	2
Comments	83
Date	July 19, 2024 5:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e799fx/is_the_intensity_of_need_of_love_natural_or_built/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-the-intensity-of-need-of-love-natural-or-built.1524740 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524740

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