Emotional blunting

mr21vp · 2024-08-30T14:07:25+00:00

Mid-50s here, separated over 4 years with an amicable divorce almost finished. I still enjoy the company of a younger woman for a couple of hours but am numb when it comes to being in any type of relationship. The peace and freedom that bachelorhood gives me is priceless. I believe that romancing is a young person's game and did plenty of that when younger. But now I don't want to commit my resources (time, energy, and attention) towards another relationship.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-08-30T10:39:31+00:00

I understand what you're going through. I was in a similar situation to your combative wife, with no affection, both physical and emotional, as well as two young boys. She ran away with my best friend at the time. Later, she returned and took the boys and everything. After being divorced for two years, I met the love of my life. We had 16 beautiful years together until I lost her to early-onset Alzheimer's seven years ago. Since then, I haven't found anyone, but I'm content to have known an angel who saved my life. This may seem silly, but I believe that God needed her for another purpose. So, you see, it can happen, but it takes time. You need to become the best person you can be before finding that special someone, so that all the hurt, anger, sorrow, and loss you've experienced doesn't spoil your new love. It will happen. It takes time, but it does happen.

Character_Pop_6628 · 2024-08-30T06:05:57+00:00

I feel it too. It helps me deal with the process. We are still in the middle. If I had all my emotions like I used to I would be beyond stressed right now. There is no emotion for all this and so we learn to compartmentalize. If your wife was abusive and you don't feel much emotion try to get some help. My stbxw is highly manipulative and kinda verbally abusive. 2 therapists dropped her. She's horrible to be around. Everyone says these things about their X but, sometimes, they really are abusive. To make sure your current state is being monitored and doesn't turn to uncontrolled rage or depression, you should get a therapist.

GreenCod8806 · 2024-08-30T05:35:13+00:00

Look, you are in a transitional phase. The beauty of transition is you make space to welcome new things—you get to decide what that is—whether it’s a new love, a new purpose, a new passion, a new you.

Don’t box yourself in with negative and restrictive thoughts. The world is abundant my friend.

Emotions are temporary. What you’re feeling now will pass. I promise.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-08-30T05:05:01+00:00

It’s a protection mechanism. It won’t pass unless you work through it.

SpiritedPeace4062 · 2024-08-30T04:37:41+00:00

I'm not sure if it will pass or not. For me Ive been thru so many break ups that I feel numb now

MissionToe3030 · 2024-08-30T04:28:14+00:00

So, you don’t feel alone. 52M, married for 26 years and been physically, emotionally, and verbally abused for many of those years. She initiated the divorce last year. Yes, she did. And it’s because she’s no longer happy because I stop putting up with her shit. What’s weird is that, I know deep down divorce is actually the best thing for me but having struggles with letting go of the marriage. I tolerated so much for the sake of keeping the marriage and family together at the sacrifice of my happiness and health.

The good part is that divorce will be finalized this month and I won’t lose too much financially. I’m so numb as well and worry about finding that special gal in my future.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-08-30T04:02:28+00:00

Can't say it did for me. I found someone new and I love her. But it is not the same kind of love. I will never feel the same again. Everything seems blunted, and I feel numb. I have lost the capacity to cry. Same as you, though. I enjoy things. I enjoy pumping in the gym and having sex with my GF (if it works anyway since I have been dealing with ED since the divorce, but Cialis works).

My life is good, no real troubles except only seeing my kids every other weekend and slowly feeling them growing apart from me - they are only 6 and 8.

techrmd3 · 2024-08-30T03:32:00+00:00

oh yeah it will pass

just imagine finding a new someone who treats you well... it will be so new it will feel like you are virgin all over again

AngryBeaver7 · 2024-08-30T03:06:23+00:00

Yea sir it will. Just don’t feed the bad with more bad like feeling down so listening to sad music. Learn to change your emotions rather than feed them

Title	Emotional blunting
Author	These_Row6066
Upvotes	15
Comments	24
Date	August 30, 2024 2:48 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4ktay/emotional_blunting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/emotional-blunting.1528820 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528820

Comments