How can I break my fear of cold approach?

Bright_Type_7756 · 2024-09-11T00:06:39+00:00

To make it easier , you wanna start interacting with strangers on a daily basis not just attractive women. you see that barista that you run into every other day? Ask her how her mornings going . Things like that, then eventually you'll start to feel a bit more comfortable & create some social momentum. Another thing is once you create social momentum you should start complementing attractive women with no goal of besides giving her a compliment, that will diminish your fear of a rejection a bit . Now once you got both of those steps down over a few weeks of time I'd say you're ready to approach with the intention of getting a date. It isn't the easiest thing in the world but it's simple bro . YOU GOT THIS!!!!

charismaprism · 2024-09-11T00:07:24+00:00

Talk to people.....period....especially people you dont know or are strangers...."hey cool dog" "dude squats suck" "you guys serve the best pizza here".

When you run out of "road" i.e. conversation...politely excuse yourself and wish them a good day.

Stop thinking about you. That's selfish.Consider the person. If youre a good natured chap its easier to be genuine in your interactions.

If you can stretch your chitchatty convo muscles with people, (male, female, ugly, common interest, disparate interest) how could you NOT be comfortable with cold approach women.

Failing is not bad. Failing is expected. Being afraid is mildly reasonable. Do get over that...Be comfortable with yourself...

But letting it hold you back. Thats lame.

Alphagreen_97 · 2024-09-11T00:13:37+00:00

Everyone is afraid doing cold approaches. Last time I did, I couldn't hold eye contact for the first 10 seconds. I literally stared at the ground, I felt like an idiot. But I didn't care, and since I didn't, she didn't. I became calm after that and we talked.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is it will never go away.

You either have the guts to approach or you will walk past beautiful women you could date for the rest of your life.

At some point you will be 40 and still walking past.

What you need is a know how.

Walk up to her, tell her: Hey I saw you from over there, I just had approach you and tell you that I find you very attractive, ( offer your hand ) hey I'm Michael. or whatever your name is.

She will be inclined to thank you and tell you her name, if she doesn't ask her her name.

Talk with her for a couple minutes, ask questions what you want to know.

Favorite hobby, favorite place for vacation, favorite food. Basic stuff.

Tell her a lil bit about yourself. Usually she will also ask questions back. If she doesn't add ANYTHING to the convo except yes and no and maybe then thank her for the convo and approach the next one.

Usually they do add to the convo tho, so rest assured.

Anyway, after talking for a bit, tell her you would love to continue this convo some other day when you find some free time, ask her if she is up to go drink a coffee next week. If she says yes, then say: Okay cool, let's EXCHANGE numbers in case something comes up.

Exchange numbers, give that number a call so she also has yours, talk for another minute, hug her and wave that sweet ass goodbye for now.

Gg king

DevaPathPain · 2024-09-11T09:59:58+00:00

A very familiar situation. As a 6'3 tall, dark, handsome build, people think it's so easy for me to get with women and life is on easy mode. But they don't know how hard it actually is due to my shyness, and the only times I have gotten with women is when basically they hit on me and initiated everything. I'm also feeling that I'm wasting my potential everyday, to the point I get depressive thoughts

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-09-11T10:45:03+00:00

Don’t over complicate it. Either go to bars, approach during the day, or do both. But when you see an attractive girl, approach with a small interaction in mind. Just 10-30 seconds is all it has to be. Stay consistent, keep leveling up.

Over time learn social freedom where you don’t care about outcomes anymore.

Watch infields from people who are good, knowing a few fundamentals and mindsets can help. But don’t get too caught up in the details. Approaching with consistency is what matters most.

Competitive-Bill-612 · 2024-09-11T01:03:53+00:00

Hey there buddy, it seems like theres already great pointers and advice. But would also like to add a more innergame advice whereby the next time a woman you find attractive walks past you ask urself if youd rather get a rejection or wondering if she couldve been someone amazing for you. Is the pain of living ur life the same way worst or is the pain of a 3 second rejection?

WendigoBarbarian · 2024-09-11T03:19:07+00:00

Accept that your first approaches are going to suck. You're probably going to fumble it, say the wrong thing, etc

And that's ok.

There's nothing wrong with sucking at the start, most guys are shit at it to begin with.

You embrace that and go for it anyway. It's gonna take time to build that confidence up so you might as well build it doing the thing you actually want to do.

premonial · 2024-09-11T00:26:54+00:00

What does it mean that you are scared that she will want to keep talking?

Makakka2002 · 2024-09-11T03:19:10+00:00

Nah your fear is not talking to much but girls could crush your self image that your are towns hottest guy. Bc of that image your subconscious transform this fear into something that won’t crush that image…see what you wanna do every man wants and if all it wouldn’t be special. It’s just extremely hard to desensitize by overriding that fear.

Drills do you nothing as a beginner their good when you’re more advanced to get into flow what you need is to just throw yourself before hot women and tell them their attractive. When your fear is reduced you can do more indirect stuff…crazy is you haven’t done a single approach yet but rather come here for internet advice…

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-11T01:04:01+00:00

Pretty much same thing with body building, but this is your mental muscles. Whatever it is to make your (mental) muscles grow, do it. You know what to do.

amatterofspace · 2024-09-11T06:57:34+00:00

Think: you're just talking to people. Can you talk to people. Any and all kinds of people?

MrPound4Pound · 2024-09-12T00:31:51+00:00

I remember the first time I ever fucked up a cold approach early in my pickup journey. Went totally silent. I froze up. The cringe was off the charts. A couple minutes later as I walked to my car I realized it wasn't that bad. I survived. That is when I knew I could be successful at this. That is when I broke the "fear". I immediately went to do another approach after that lol.

aeroaca9 · 2024-09-12T02:45:38+00:00

You either can or can't. There is no inbetween, you can either do it or you will never do it. I am among the people who can't, despite what some propose.

theasianplayboy · 2024-09-12T17:47:35+00:00

It sounds like you’re in a great position physically, but what’s holding you back is the mental game—which is super common.

One key thing that helps a lot of guys overcome approach anxiety is starting small. You don’t need to make every interaction about a full-on cold approach. Instead, just get used to talking to strangers in low-pressure situations, like asking the barista how their day is or chatting with someone in line. It builds social momentum.

Also, remember, the first few seconds of an approach are the hardest. Once you break through that initial wall, it gets easier. You might want to check out this video I did on overcoming approach anxiety with two scientifically backed techniques: https://youtu.be/Qo4Y-3FkMYQ

It’ll give you practical steps to get over that fear and make the most out of your interactions.

testylentil · 2024-09-13T10:21:14+00:00

I'm an introvert. I still cringe from an approach I did 5 years ago when I was at a bar with friends and I walked over to two girls sitting at a table and opened, had a couple exchanges, mind went blank and I turned around and left abruptly.

What must they have thought?

I've had brutal moments like this, some I remember some I don't. Either way I'm glad I had the balls to do it, as well as the many other approaches that actually went well. That's the overriding feeling at the end always.

Can't guarantee a result but I can guarantee you'll be proud of yourself.

You have to lean into your fear. My biggest fear is that someone will overhear. I dont know why this bothers me exactly. But I've made approaches intentionally when there are people around or with a girl in a group.

Xero_Darknezz · 2024-09-11T07:43:03+00:00

Just do it without thinking about it. Nothing is going to give you confidence to cold unless you cold approach. Doing the thing you are scared of doing is how confidence is formed. Also, have a low bar for having a successful interaction and take baby steps to get better at it. Set goals and work on achieving those goals, and slowly, you'll have gotten further than you thought possible for yourself. The key is to stay consistent and to always push yourself.

Title	How can I break my fear of cold approach?
Author	ContentSquirrel7137
Upvotes	33
Comments	28
Date	September 10, 2024 11:46 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fdwg8l/how_can_i_break_my_fear_of_cold_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-break-my-fear-of-cold-approach.1530030 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530030

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